2000

12-30-00 (18:25)

  • updated movies list. 2 to go. watched 6 yesterday.
  • probably going to see melanie tonight and all of tomorrow, that'll be good shit.
  • went to getty museum today, that was really cool.

  • 12-27-00 (23:08)

  • i'm going to go out on a limb and say that eminem is the most creative artist in mainstream hip-hop these days. chuck d is on the downside of his talent, as are the beastie boys (and who knows if they're really working on an album, as is the rumor). jay-z, dmx, and the rest along those lines are just jokes. dr. dre won't come out with anything for a while and he's not as creative as his pupil - eminem. as for his politics....that's a different matter. i must say that anyone who despises the media and society as much as he does at least has that going for them. his music is also some of the most emotional i've heard lately...up there with ratm, radiohead, tupac and a few others. i see him as exactly what our society is breeding. he's got a lot of anger, i'm sure much of it has to do with the fact that he was abused and his mom was a junkie and the like. it just so happens that he has a creative outlet, and he happens to be really good at it. i think looking at his situation as a microcosm for what happens/is happening on a daily basis these days will yield far more than just denouncing him as an angry no talent fluke. the fact of the matter is that society is producing people who have lots of anger and can't deal with it, just like eminem. if we look at eminem as an example of what can happen/is happening to our kids, rather than just as a social reject, then maybe something will be done about it. by simply ostracizing him and calling him a bad apple we run away from reality. the reality is that our society has more and more people who are as sick and lost as he is. there's nothing wrong with being sick or lost. rather than fighting him maybe we should try to attack the root of the problem. don't attack eminem when the real problem is a lot bigger. sticking up for eminem will likely make everyone think i'm crazy. guess i'm like my dad in that i feel like i have to stick up for people like that or bobby knight or the unabomber.
  • "i probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose, but no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms. sometimes i want to get on tv and just let loose, but i can't. but it's cool for tom green to hump a dead moose"
  • "but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope"
  • "there are a million others just like me, who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me..."
  • "i don't got to be false or sugar coated at all"
  • the fact of the matter is that eminem has been surrounded by complete insanity and i think he's got more insight on his situation and some of the situations in society than most people do.
  • i wish i was as good to myself as i am to eminem.
  • when i said passion, i meant: "passion-one of the feelings natural to all men, as fear, hate love, joy; pl. these emotions collectively."
  • this update has been retarded.
  • i need to be more simple. do right by others. be true to yourself. learn from the past. period.

  • 12-27-00 (18:46)

  • "as long as i am learning i am making mistakes..." -beastie boys
  • updated movies list. 10 more to go.
  • in society quantity seems to count for more than quality. it also seems that effort isn't rewarded, results matter, not effort.
  • a person's worth is dependent upon bullshit, largely superficial, standards. overcoming this is very hard for some. some just buy into, literally, and embrace capitalism and try to buy their happiness and find their worth by being the first on their block to have a satellite dish, etc. then there are the other people who range from living the exact opposite existence to acknowledging the way it is, but still live their lives and base their worth, largely, on those standards.
  • i don't know what in life is real and what is not. i'm inclined to think that just about everything is a societal construction. i can see why many philosophers have claimed that the only real thing in life are our passions. maybe that is right, but it's not right to live as our passions dictate. i think; but no one knows.
  • there really aren't any steadfast rules in the world. i think that's more or less what postmodernism is about. but what does that tell us? well if i think about it too long it just makes me depressed. make a higher power so that your life is justified and so are your actions. writing about this isn't going to help. fuck derrida and thinking that nothing is real or doesn't matter, because even though it maybe the only real truth there is, it sucks deez.
  • when i get depressed i get really depressed. in the last 6 months or so my depression period has been a lot shorter, so i think that's a good thing. i attribute that to my ability to completely control everything in my life. ha. i start thinking about how much of a loser i am. how i'm not what i want to be or what i should be. how so many people are better than me at things ranging from the stupid to the meaningful. i can come up with 2 bad things about myself for every 1 good thing. then i peak when i feel completely hopeless. society sucks. i suck. things that i've done, or that have happened to me, suck. then i start to get better. i begin to remember that although it's true that i'm not everything i want to be and that there are plenty of people who are better than me and that society does indeed suck, that i should get out of depression and start fooling myself into thinking that everything will be alright. then i goto sleep, wake up and i've usually forgotten about all of it so i keep myself busy by watching movies or such. eventually i just accept the fact that i don't have control over anything except for what i do. of course the fact that i'm not doing what i would like to do is what may be getting me depressed in the first place. somehow i just trick myself into thinking that i'm not depressed anymore. so, i guess i should find a long term solution.
  • i'm not depressed now so all is well, right?
  • spent xmas eve with a friend of dad's. this guy (pierre) invited us over. it was pretty cool. spent the whole time with his 9 year old son. played lots of video games. he lectured me on loving christ and how that was the only way i wasn't going to burn in hell...pretty much his exact words. it was much fun. even got to go to midnight mass. made me sick. believe whatever you want. chances are you're a better person than i am if you believe in god.
  • down on the corner seems to be the most popular CCR song. odd.
  • made the brilliant discovery that "O brother where art thou" (the new coen brothers film) came from the title of the movie that sullivan (from sullivan's travels - 1941, preston sturges) wanted to make..."an answer to the ills of society" and such. not even my dad made that connection. i was proud of myself for making that connection. in this case i was more happy for myself than anyone else was. guess i can be good to myself on occasion.
  • xmas day i woke up at pierre's house at around 11am and watched tv. then played some more video games. then got a ride to dad's house. sarah went straight to the tv so i followed. dad was at work. then i left and had dinner at melanie's house. glad that i had an xmas dinner somewhere. i stuck to john wayne and sports and things with her father went well enough. talked to her grandmother about jazz and old detective fiction and was able to hold some ground there too. so all in all i'm probably not a complete loser in their book. that's a good thing.
  • time for dinner.
  • hope melanie comes over tonight.

  • 12-24-00 (00:14)

  • new news - got my grades. whew, better than expected. Bs all around. a B- in my political science war class, but Bs in the other three. got kinda lucky this quarter i think.
  • tomorrow i wake up early like and do the xmas thing with the maternal side of the family. then get shuttled over to dad's. later that night dad, sarah and i will go to dad's friends place to have xmas-esque festivities. i think we will leave late tomorrow night to get back to dad's house. dad has work from 6am-4pm the next day (xmas day). sarah and i will either goto some homeless shelter and help out there or goto grandma's and hang there until around 3:30. then i drop sarah off and get my ass to mars. get your ass to mars, get your ass to mars, get your ass to mars. that's from total recall, if you recall. so i drive to victorville and hang there for the night. maybe we'll goto big bear. maybe.
  • i have to say that i'm happy with my grades other than the dungey class, got a B, felt like i learned more than that - or at least thought about it more than that. oh well. overall it ended up helping my gpa (because that's not hard to do these days) and was better than the quarter had hinted it was going to be.
  • i should sleep.
  • hear the niners got whooped. too bad.

  • 12-23-00 (17:11)

  • updated movies list.
  • melanie came over to my dad's last night, that was unexpected, but made today worthwhile.
  • "what the hell are you doing here?" - first thing my dad says to me while i've been in LA.
  • paid for a haircut for the first time in several months. they played dj quicksilver the whole time i was there.
  • my dad is retarded when he's sick.
  • still need to do some shopping.
  • xmas gets more and more strange every year. or maybe not. this year is strange, this much is certain.

  • 12-21-00 (23:40)

  • webpage will be three years old in a month.
  • heard grandmaster flash and the furious five's great track "white lines" on the radio today. a truly great moment in radio history.
  • queen have an unorthodox song structure for a few of their hits. it seems that way to me anyway.
  • saw a ridiculous scene on the streets of westwood today. it involved two women, a cell phone, a bus, lots of honking, and many words exchanged. utter stupidity.
  • updated movies list.
  • watched two horrible movies today.
  • talked with phil tonight.
  • my nose is bloody lately, i shall cut it off - despite my face.
  • sarah laughed so recognize.
  • sarah remains a dork. the best dork, she says.
  • having my cd collection on the road has proven useful, however some of the cds have some skips in them. very sad.
  • more useless ramblings from a 21 year old nimrod.
  • sarah says that's an apt description of myself. thanks sarah for the ego boost. one can always count on their siblings for the love and support they need.
  • xmas shopping was lame. got dad his present - humor book - the onion to be exact. oops, i just gave it away...sorry dad.
  • wait my dad never reads this anyway.
  • sarah: "you're such a loser"
  • chris: "thank you sarah"
  • sarah: "ha ha ha, he he he"
  • chris: "sarah that really hurts"
  • sarah (still thinking this is funny): "ha ha ha, shut up, ha ha ha he he he"
  • chris: "sarah, there's a point at which you need to draw the line"
  • sarah: "hi"
  • this webpage update has been a large waste of time. i shall sleep.

  • 12-20-00 (22:00)

  • really going to go xmas shopping tomorrow. for reals this time.
  • watched only one movie today. updated movieslist.
  • still not sure what to do regarding the movies goal for next year. want a point system, think it would be kinda neat, but my math skills are lacking so i can't come up with a really good way of making the goal worthwhile. maybe i'll just wing it and in 2002 i'll learn from any mistakes.
  • 2002? wow.
  • dropped off melanie today. been doing loads of driving lately.
  • hopefully i see three movies tomorrow. fell asleep while watching steel helmet today. i think the video was screwed up because i woke up at a few points and the screen was black, but there were people talking on the movie. i don't think it was just taking place in the dark either. maybe i'll try watching it again tomorrow.
  • listening to crystal method.
  • metallica kind of depress me. listened to master of puppets today (the joys of having a copy of almost all my cds) and realized that metallica used to be really really good. now they're just talented pop metal sellouts. what a shame. a sham even.
  • most of the time i don't feel very smart. that's something i'll have to get over or let control me for the rest of my life. tough choice.
  • i think it's very important to not compare yourself or your behavior to that of others. it just seems that it can go either way if you start playing that game...i'm smarter than most people so i don't need to worry about becoming any smarter. i'm dumber than these people so i should feel like a retard. create your own rules and goals and then live by that. then the challenge becomes creating goals which are conducive to a healthy life, happiness, and fulfillment. then again, it's easier for most people to just have standards by which they are expected to live their lives...SAT scores, gpa expectations, points per game, hours of work per week, etc. religion, i think, taps into this same need for most to have a structured expectation system. makes life easier.
  • about an hour ago i was actually looking forward to going xmas shopping. usually i don't. too much pressure to get the right things for people.
  • being on vacation is kinda cool because i lose all concept of time. i don't know what day it is. what the date is. how much more time there is until xmas. living life without a concept of time is the only way to go.
  • got really worried about the rest of my life last night then i realized that i didn't have to have it all planned out until i'm 22. ha. plans. ha. plans are funny.
  • where is my wallet?
  • saw this thing on tv about a possible link between acutane (acne pill) and suicide. medicine is fun stuff.
  • just got my paper grade back (pop culture) - 89%. according to the TA i should get a B in the class. that would be insane considering i averaged a D+/C- on  my quizzes. i guess we did get to drop one of them, but still it couldn't have been any better than a C. if i get a B in that class then i will finally consider myself worthy of the real world. whew. so much was riding on that class!
  • sarah remains the best, so she says.
  • wish i had some kind of creative outlet. i'm not a writer. i'm not a musician. i'm not an actor. i'm not an artist. i just take lots of dumps.
  • where the hell did that come from?
  • seriously though, it would be nice to have some creative outlet.

  • 12-19-00 (16:05)

  • going out to eat with mom, her boyfriend, and melanie. i want to have the fresh fruit shake, they're the shit.
  • watched a movie today, hence i updated movieslist.
  • had pancakes for breakfast, they were pretty good - despite my making them.
  • drove around a lot yesterday.

  • 12-17-00 (22:53)

  • got a hit the other day from some one who did a search for "frat boy." interesting that they found my site through that search.
  • vern got punched by some surfer guy for stealing his wave. vern calmly told the brute the err of his ways and he paddled off only to turn around mid-paddle to say "sorry." i'd say that's an accomplishment. MLK, Gandhi, and I would be proud.
  • i don't mean to lump myself with MLK and Gandhi. i hereby proclaim my unworthiness in comparison.
  • saw part of rocky IV today. god what a nationalistic piece of crap. the only redeeming part was the speech rocky gives at the end while in moscow - he says something to the effect of 'we can all get along if we just change a little bit.' of course it was the great american spirit which won the russian crowd's affection to the point where they started to root for rocky over the russian boxer. america may not be the strongest nation, but we've got heart seemed to be the point.
  • how quickly things develop - going to pick up melanie tomorrow, i'd say it's more than worth the trip out there and back.
  • i've got some xmas presents to buy, some movies to watch and some fudge to eat. other than that my week, after wednesday is completely open.
  • my sister is definitely a teenage girl. while i'm here i'll try to make that as inconspicous as possible. talked to her about a rage against the machine quote today - 'a mass of tears have transformed to stones now, sharpened on suffering, and woven into slings." got her thoughts on that. hope to talk with her about transcendentalism tomorrow.
  • my mom is pretty neat.

  • 12-17-00 (17:38)

  • not much doing lately.
  • made some fudge, slept, watched too much tv, ate.
  • gotta do xmas shopping. other than that i'm a free man until xmas eve. i should make arrangements to spend time with people while i have it.
  • i'm glad that this break is fairly laid back so far.
  • very very windy outside right now.
  • going to eat mexican (burritos) tonight. should be good.
  • watched parts of a lot of different movies today - willy wonka, total recall, wedding singer, et al.
  • thinking about changing my movies goal next year from 300 to something based upon a point system. for example: new movie = 1.5 points. new movie before 1950 = 1.75 points. movie i've seen before, but not this year = 1 point. movie i've seen before, this year = .75 points. and then i just have to get 350 points or thereabouts. i think it's a good idea because i provides an incentive to watch movies i've never seen before and movies which are old. but the math could get tricky and i wouldn't want to end up watching only 200 movies because the points were too easy to get, or the goal wasn't high enough. if you can come up with some reasonable point values lemme see em.
  • updated wish list link so it's not so hard to find....check sidebar.
  • didn't bring my phone numbers so i can't call phil, jon, or vern. that's a shame. happy holidays and happy birthday (vern), in case i can't talk with you later.

  • 12-17-00 (09:55)

  • my sister is the coolest person on earth, i mean i totally look up to her. she's the best best best, and i suck.
  • actually she just told me to say that. now she's laughing like a goon.
  • updated movies list. 26 to go, should be fun.
  • went to melanie's and saw her play, it was kick ass.
  • going to make some fudge today.
  • sarah continues to be a dork.
  • she says she inherited it from me so i should "shut up."
  • played some epic miniture golf on saturday.
  • sarah thinks she's entitled to be a butt since she's my sister. she even said so. bad sarah.
  • mom's about to go to the mall, sure she'll see plenty of retards there.
  • 10 am is way too early to be awake.
  • i am going to eat and sleep sometime today.
  • not much else to report.
  • one flew over the cuckoo's nest is so damn great. it gets me every time. such a perfect ending, but very sad. very very sad.

  • 12-15-00 (15:30)

  • got to see melanie yesterday and today, that was good, naturally.
  • got to sleep in yesterday, that was also good. then i watched a movie. then melanie came over. watched the jerk, steve martin is great. took the car in today for mom.
  • updated movies list.
  • might go out for sushi tonight, that would be the shit.
  • beware the ides of december!
  • i'm down the the ides of december, even though technically i think the ides of december would be the 13th.
  • damn today was good. the weather was so much nicer here than in davis. i gotta appreciate that kind of stuff while i'm here. here it is, the middle of december, and it's a nice 60 something outside with the sun shining nice and warmly.
  • went to IHOP and had some pancakes.
  • not much more to say. gotta go to my dad's and drop off/pick up some movies then i'll pick up my mom.
  • didn't get much done today in the way of xmas shopping, but the car place held us up for a while.
  • going to listen to the beastie boys on my way into town.
  • images on the webpage might not work because i'm too lazy to download them. you'll live.

  • 12-13-00 (15:54)

  • essay is turned in, bags are packed.
  • i think morgan freeman, or rather stephen king (since he wrote it), put it best when he said "get busy living or get busy dying." that's something even the most postmodern side of me can't deny.
  • what's another word for pirate treasure? i think it's booty, booty, that's what it is...beastie boys kick ass.
  • if i were to say that i'd see you on the flip side it might actually make sense with the new year and all. so, yea, i'll see ya around. maybe i'll even update this biatch while i'm at home. don't count on it though.

  • 12-13-00 (14:02)

  • listening to nirvana - nevermind really loud.
  • ran some errands, a few more to go. making cds for my sister, don't tell her.
  • getting your second wind is the shit.
  • mail has been slow lately.
  • if nirvana had released one more album they'd be ahead of ratm right now. maybe i'll get some of their singles and have them get bumped ahead of black sabbath. black sabbath are better than ratm, but i don't like listening to their music as much. ya know?
  • the cello on 'something in the way' by nirvana just begs you to be sad.
  • fuck it. black sabbath moves down a notch.
  • this is probably my last update so uh, see you in a few weeks or something.
  • by that time i'll be a better person than i am today.
  • that's kind of a good feeling - that with time i'm actually improving, in sum. maybe not physically because i'm such a lazy ass these days, but in sum i'll be a better person in three weeks than i am now.

  • 12-13-00 (09:40)

  • done, got it into 7 pages too.
  • i'll proofread it later.
  • maybe i should take another nap? not very tired. i am hungry though.
  • can't wait to be old, wise, crippled and have someone to take care of me. well, i can wait.
  • my physical prime was junior year of high school, though i have more potential now than then.
  • my memory has gotten worse, but i learn more everyday and think about more everyday so hopefully i haven't passed my intellectual prime yet.
  • i wonder what the sociological and psychological effects have been as a result of inventing mirrors. you think about thousands of years ago we didn't have mirrors. sure we could see ourselves on occasion in the water or something, but it wasn't until mirrors that we could see ourselves whenever we wanted. i don't know, but i think it's had a bad impact, overall, on humankind. then there is the issue of cameras and pictures. how about self-portraits before cameras...why did people have those made? to live physically (on canvas) beyond one's years? simple narcissism? very interesting stuff. if you've given this a lot of thought maybe you should talk to me about it.

  • 12-13-00 (09:11)

  • just about done. two paragraphs to go.
  • worrying about life doesn't do much good. planning is useless. living is essential. knowing how to live takes some thought and lots of experience.
  • "don't worry, be happy was a number one jam..."-chuck d

  • 12-13-00 (08:05)

  • i wanted to write about how MLK thrust himself into public life - stark contrast to the ever-passive thoreau, and i couldn't come up with a synonym for "inject" - as in "mlk injected himself into the public sphere...." so i used word 7.0's thesaurus and it came up with 'inject sperm' as one of the possibilities so i looked that up and it had some interesting synonyms - emit sperm, come, climax, copulate, discharge seed, ejaculate, spill one's seed, fornicate, and squirt. i shit you not. personally, i like discharge seed and spill one's seed the most.
  • never knew that cognizant, was spelled that way. it just looks so wrong.
  • 8:23 and i'm breezing through this biznatch. biatch. bitch. is bitch a bad word? i guess in certain contexts it could be worse than others, even downright mean.
  • i honestly think that had MLK and gandhi not used thoreau's thoughts for things other than avoiding taxes that thoreau would be a far lesser known american thinker/writer.

  • 12-13-00 (07:39)

  • this paper should probably be closer to 10 pages than 7. already i think i'm on pace to do more than 7 pages. that's not good. i can do some fudging with the font and stuff, but that would be wack. i'll just have to be more selective when choosing what/not to include.
  • moving along nicely.
  • dungey makes it easy.
  • you make it easy.
  • 'inside' (14) is definitely my favorite track on 'play.'
  • thoreau was an interesting fellow. MLK made thoreau and even gandhi seem greater, if you ask me. it's like if i become some great comedian and i cite john candy as my major influence then john candy is going to seem even cooler.
  • steve martin is more funny than john candy, but mr. candy was the fucking shit. i still don't own planes trains and automobiles. buy it for me - i'm too lazy to put it on my wish list, but it's there in spirit.

  • 2-13-00 (06:55)

  • thinking i'm going to listen to moby the whole time. i like track 14 a lot.
  • finished the introduction, onto the harder part.
  • the inside of my left ear has been itching a lot lately. very much on the annoying side of life.
  • realized that my tenses are all fucked in this paper...i'm not going to correct that until later, if at all. they won't notice/care. maybe i will correct it after all.
  • not so tired now.

  • 12-13-00 (06:11)

  • slept for about 4-5 hours, but in about 3 chunks since i didn't plan on sleeping that long.
  • i'm really tired now, quite sleepy, but the rest will do well for later in the day.
  • i should be on a plane in 12 hours.
  • "on a plain" - a great nirvana song.
  • i shall begin work on my paper soon.
  • it's cold and dark, i'm tired. wish i could just sleep.
  • mostly worried about how to structure all this information i'm supposed to give for this last paper. the question sets up a decent enough structure, but i don't know how well i'll be able to incorporate everything i want to under that structure. i suppose if i had all the time in the world i'd write out everything i wanted to include and then structure it around certain themes. time is money and i'm one broke ass fool.
  • our reality is the answer to the question - "what are we capable of?"
  • dungey is so right.
  • i wish people weren't so selfish and stupid. god, what a fucked up combination.

  • 12-12-00 (22:30)

  • finals are done. paper to go.
  • your whole teenage life you look forward to driving, even before your teenage years. you practice on video games and in your mind you think about driving and how fun it'll be. then the day comes when your parents take you out for a spin and you get amazingly nervous. holy shit this is a car, it's a big thing, driving carries a lot of responsibility, you could take someone's life, there is so much going on, it's intense. i remember when i first drove, especially the manual, i got all nervous and i really didn't even want to do it once i got in the seat. it was scary. it's easier to just not do it and let it remain something cool in your mind and just play the video games. cuz once you get in that driver's seat you're a changed person. life is different now. all the conceptions of driving and cars that you had before are forever changed.
  • okay, so i wasn't talking about driving or cars - you got me.
  • 7 pages and about 17 hours to work on them. plenty.
  • plenty more to do besides write 7 pages.
  • so when i did finally get in the driver's seat and drove for a little while i got used to it. i didn't press the brakes to hard, i didn't peel out, i didn't oversteer, i looked in my mirrors without swerving, and everything turned out okay in the end.
  • had a good talk with johnny the last night i was there.
  • marc is a goof.
  • finals suck. i'm not a very good student and i should be.
  • i should get some sleep, but i'm not sleepy yet. don't want to start my paper either. think i'll just read some of the notes or some of mlk's autobiography - maybe it'll give me an edge. probably not, but it's still worthwhile.
  • listening to metallica for the first time in a long while. fucking sell outs.
  • life doesn't make sense and trying to make sense of it is pretty pointless. trying to find answers is impossible. last year around this time i was planning on destroying my life and starting over. having a life changing experience is good. whether it's crashing your car in living in a hospital for a year while your brain begins to function or whatever i think starting your life over is usually a good thing. what it came down to was that i was overall happy with my life so i didn't want to screw it up to the level that would have been necessary. what i was basically looking for was a big dose of suffering which would alter my perspective in a way that would, in the long run, be beneficial. the hitchhiking trip was kinda like that, but wasn't long enough. hopefully next year is a good experience. i think it will be.
  • it'll rain tomorrow. hopefully my plane doesn't get delayed.
  • had nothing but potato today. baked potato with cheese for breakfast. baked potato strips and french fries for dinner. i've got spare potatoes, what can i say?
  • shoulda made some mashed potatoes. too much time. no milk.
  • i don't know if it's because i'm a senior or what, but i'm beginning to look further in the future these days. i can't decide if trying to make a plan is good or bad. i used to be so laissex faire (sp?) that i just lived week to week and tried to let life happen to me. i'm still pretty laid back, but i've begun to make a few plans here and there for the future. am i old? am i insane? is it bad? old people are welcome to advise.
  • geek watch ran out of batteries. lost some phone numbers. shite.
  • haven't gotten anyone anything for xmas yet.
  • who protects us from you? - krs one
  • decided that making copies of all my cds is an absolutely wasteful and ridiculous venture so i'm going to continue to do it and try and finally catch up.
  • the more you live the more able you are to learn. yet at the same time the more fixed you become in your beliefs.
  • "i've got an open mind so why don't you all come inside" - mike d
  • paul's boutique probably has the answer to every single question ever posed. it's probably a better piece of work than the bible. but i won't jump to conclusions.
  • if there is a god, the kind of god that chick publications speaks of, then i'm seriously fucked to hell.
  • i don't do much surfing of the internet these days.
  • my feather duster is hung on the wall with a nail, just like johnny. wow.
  • haven't checked my fantasy football bs in a while. oh well.
  • updated the papers page since someone actually requested i do so. my papers are just more and more embarassing every year.
  • kind of an interesting website. he has a little "story" in the ratm cd liner notes....the new one

  • 12-12-00 (09:49)

  • the day begins early and will end very very late, but by the time it ends i'll be done. whew.
  • looks like it's not raining right now, but could later.
  • gotta turn in my paper in 10 minutes, i should go do that.
  • gotta do some major studying today.
  • i'm very tired.

  • 12-11-00 (21:02)

  • more or less finished my paper. more less than more.
  • at any rate jon will be here any minute so we can teach each other the merits of reading before finals week rather than skimming the day before the final.
  • i want ice cream.
  • i should do some pull-ups or are they chin-ups?
  • need to pack some fudge some time soon. i mean pack for the trip.
  • maybe i'll get myself some mountain dew. i'd rather do this whole thing without chemical stimulation, but i don't know if i'm that strong.
  • i'm not going to buy any mountain dew. just decided.
  • i've got movies to watch, i'm going to have to wait on those. oh yea, updated movieslist. 30 left, shite.
  • updated cdlist. vern hooked up another. that makes 494. i'm a sick bastard. i should purge some of those cds, maybe not

  • 12-11-00 (18:45)

  • back once again with the regengade master, and who knows what the songs says after that.
  • i've got a paper due tomorrow, most of it is done, but it could use an hour or so of solid work.
  • i have a massive final from 4-6 tomorrow. then a smaller, easier, but equally important final in film class from 7-9.
  • wednesday i have to turn in my paper for dungey's class. that'll be around 6-7 pages, hopefully i can be concise and perfect on that one otherwise i'll be very disappointed in my grade for the class.
  • i need to sleep. the trip over here took a long time and i barely made it on time. then, despite my desires to do otherwise, i went to work for four hours.
  • scott gave me some news that steve, a guy i worked with at the shelter, has decided to get married. that's some pretty crazy shit, hope it works out. he's a good guy even though i haven't talked with him in god knows how long.
  • god knows a lot despite being dead.
  • i should cease updating my webpage and take a much needed nap.
  • i'm broke.
  • johnny came up with a really really funny insult this weekend.
  • there's this guy named john cage who is infamous for this one 'song' called 4:32. he gets up on stage and for four minutes and thirty-two seconds just sits there - any sounds that may happen during that time make up the 'song.' he's all post-modern and avant-garde like that. i guess it's a nice idea, but it's kinda ridiculous over all. at any rate...
  • we were playing football and marc, one of johnny's more unique friends, failed to cover his receiver leading to a touchdown. johnny said "marc couldn't even cover john cage's 4:32." i think i was the only one to get it, but it was really witty, much props to johnny for it. oh, in case you didn't know - when you "cover" a song you're just doing a remake of it. some famous covers - beatles - roll over beethoven, et al, jimi hendrix - all along the watchtower...so yea it was a really funny insult which probably doesn't seem half as funny now that i've beaten it to a pulp.
  • got to watch some of the football games (niners and raiders) both were good, but the niners were robbed.
  • tv is bad.
  • i should rest. this december is a lot less stressful than last, but these next couple days are still going to suck sac.

  • 12-7-00 (18:24)

  • as always seems to be the case when it comes to santa cruz trips, plans have changed. instead of taking the early bus out of here i'm going to be getting a ride from luke and jenny from davis to santa cruz, pretty sweet.
  • i should get cracking right away on my paper or watching a movie, whichever is more important. the movie would only take about an hour since i'd watch dilinger and the paper would take a lot longer, but an hour spent on it now would be an hour less i'd have to spend on it later. so i'll watch the movie. no i don't know what i'm going to do. probably neither.
  • xmas party at the christian house goes down on saturday, needless to say i won't be there. no big loss, in fact being out of town gives me an excuse to not be surrounded by the whole crew. i'm guessing that any fun and excitement which i may be missing out will be more than gained by going to santa cruz. just a guess.
  • autechre has been in my player the last few days, that might explain my latest insanity.
  • monday is going to be crucial. tuesday the shit hits the fan. wednesday i leave it all behind.
  • hasn't rained lately, that's really good. was warmer today than yesterday that, too, is good.
  • not much to report. people still can't ride bicycles and insist on endangering me on a daily basis. people can't drive cars either.
  • just watched some jeopardy and rocked it better than i ever have. cleaned up on the sports category. then came double jeopardy. the first half was the ego boost for the day the second was a reality check.
  • gotta get to packing.

  • 12-7-00 (00:00)

  • one month after the election.
  • got some good though groundwork laid for my pop culture paper. i know plenty about marxism to spout off about it for a couple pages, which is more than enough. just need to know about gramsci or hegemony (whichever i end up picking) and i'll be set. this is the kind of paper which, in a way, i've been preparing for ever since i got my first rage against the machine album back in 94. here is where i can use all their quotes and spout off about what they stand for and how that relates to pop culture and marx and how gramsci is a fucking tard and all the rest.
  • for the record i think both my parents are pretty kick ass for the most part. i can talk to them and they don't beat me anymore so it's all good.
  • they never beat me.
  • jon's car is fucking awesome. what a bastard.
  • forgot to buy my ticket to santa cruz today. will do that tomorrow. need the information on what buses to take once i get to berkeley. johnny, luke, hook it up!
  • i try not to use exclamation marks. although in my earlier years i used them frequently, at least relatively.
  • listening to aphex twin again. then autechre - tri repetae ++. some good and kinda wack shit.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cdlist. 7 cds away from a landmark which i never thought would happen.
  • gotta go.

  • 12-6-00 (16:34)

  • got the new ratm album. listened to the first song and it kicked ass. then i realized that i hadn't heard all the songs they covered yet so i'm listening to the originals first, then i'll listen to the rest of the album. thanks to vern for making a 14 dollar cd (which is the sale price + tax) come out to under 14 after tax. in a month or so when the sale is over the cd will be going for 19 bucks - ridiculous.
  • you gotta give props to any band which chooses to cover songs from bands like devo, mc5, epmd, afrika bambaataa, minor threat and bob dylan. well, you don't have to, but i do.
  • today was decent. started off poorly, but joking with jon in war class proved to lift the spirits. of course getting email at work is fun too. plenty from melanie and even more from kdviates (kdvs staff). some interesting conversations going on all stemming from a note from the gm which said to turn the lights off more often. people turned it into this huge political debate having nothing to do with the station. kdvs people are funny, funny queer AND funny haha.
  • think i'm going to give in a go to the market, just for some necessities. i got paid today so i must be rich enough to afford the stuff, right?
  • down on the street is a good stooges song. iggy pop is alright in my book.
  • hopefully i'll eat something filling, take a small power nap watch a movie, get working on some paper type shit, watch another movie and then work on the paper some more.
  • hopefully.
  • saw a bumper sticker today which read "in these days of deceit telling the truth is an act of revolution" sad, but true. i think i'm a pretty honest person.
  • reminds me of this bug i saw the other day, painted red, probably an early 70s model and it had a "question reality" bumper sticker on it. i'm down with that person.
  • the liner notes in the ratm cd are kick ass. simple, but kick ass.
  • the devo cover is fucking rad. very different. the first mellow song by rage, ever.
  • i shall be off now.

  • 12-6-00 (11:41)

  • short day today, gives me a chance to get some things done.
  • guess i should clear up something. i like my dad. despite having a racist father who left him at age 5 he's turned out to be a pretty decent person and friend. i don't dislike him for trying to earn his dad's love. that is all.
  • taking pictures is something i've never been real big on. for a while it was because i didn't have a camera. now i do, so i should take more pictures.
  • haven't carried my switchblade with me in a long time. it occurred to me just now as i looked at it lying there, lonely, on my desk.
  • discovered the other day that the bose wave radio adjusts it's led display based upon the level of light in the room. so when i turn off the lights to goto bed, it dims itself. crazy cool shit.
  • i should get to class. will check mail first.

  • 12-6-00 (01:42)

  • separate, but equal is inherently unequal - so says the supreme court. why can't this logic be extended to gays?
  • life is really strange. feelings are even more strange.
  • as far as my life - as a story - goes, i'm really interested in seeing how it develops. i've got some interesting ventures which may or may not pan out and which will effect the rest of my life. this year could prove to be the most pivotal of my life.
  • i still think that the hitchhiking trip was the best week of my life and march was probably the best month of my life. i'd say that 2000 was the best year of my life to date. as always there is but one way to make it seem even more perfect. but i don't actually care too much about that.
  • jon has been telling me that he understands what i'm talking about when i go on my little tirades. he's the only one who has said they understand it and i doubt people would tell me if they didn't understand it, for plenty of reasons. the point is that one person understanding it is a good sign.
  • i've used jon's name more in the last couple days than in most months.
  • read over some of my old updates and it seems i was once hooked on stacy.
  • i got at least one person to buy into my church/party argument. she's like me in that she doesn't like parties, but gets constantly pressured by her friends to attend them. i don't dig on religion so i don't go to church. i don't dig on drinking and dancing so i don't go to parties. i'm not saying i'll never ever go to another party again, i probably will. it's funny how some people can be so into parties and insist that you come along and have fun with them. if going to parties is your thing then go right ahead, but insisting that i come along doesn't make much sense to me. what's even more strange is that almost everyone i know who goes to parties tries to get me to go. maybe they think it'll be good for me.
  • jorgay and friends thought church would be good for me.
  • been making copies of my cds. there are probably about 80 more to make. what a ridiculous venture. not sure what i was thinking. everyone thinks it was a bad idea and a waste of money. i'm so behind that i shouldn't even bother. i guess the theory of sunken costs comes to mind at this juncture.
  • wondering what my 500th cd will be.
  • get paid tomorrow.
  • going to buy the new ratm album, that'll be good.
  • had a really intense dream last night. i had a dream that i was in a film class, a film class for potential directors - as opposed to a film history class like i'm in now. i was with all these really talented mother fuckers and they all put me to shame. i think the teacher of the class was pretty much like my dad, or at least a father figure to me in a way. he gave out the assignment which was to make a short film of our choosing and he said be as creative as you like. afterwards i think he talked with me and i was discouraged about the whole thing - because a) i have no talent b) i'll never amount to anything so what's the use in trying? he was also like my dad in this story he told me about himself - he said that he too was once a student of film who thought he wouldn't amount to anything. but of course i, and the rest of the class, knew he was full of potential and had all this great talent. so he had this potential, which he only realized in retrospect, and he didn't do anything with it. so he showed me this one video he made, but never entered in any contests or the like. just kept it to himself. and when i watched it i was overwhelmed. there were so many brilliant colors and really intensely cool images and it just made me break down and start to cry because i saw how genius it was and how great he could have been, but how he just shit away all his talent by doing nothing with his life. i think it was about this time that the phone rang. it was a telemarketer.
  • i've had two really intense dreams in the past month or so, which is a rarity.
  • my dreams usually suck ass.
  • so i guess i should be inspired to not piss away my life, but "oh for the sake of momentum...i'm condemning the future to death so it can match the past."
  • aimee mann is smarter than me.
  • if tomorrow went perfectly i'd deposit my paltry paycheck, buy a ticket to santa cruz, talk to dungey just to talk, do some research for my pop culture paper, watch two movies, write a good portion of my pop culture paper, talk to melanie, finish my pop culture paper and go to sleep really late, but with a good sense of accomplishment. but then there's that momentum/inertia thing. you can call is laziness if you like, too. or habit, even.
  • that's not really the perfect day, but it's the realist view of a perfect day.
  • my vision is blurring.
  • i'm not going to have any teeth, hearing, or eyesight left by the time i'm 50. guess i'll have to think more.
  • dungey was talking about suffering and how society is completely geared towards avoiding suffering and towards making pleasure, hedonism, happiness, whatever you want to call it - more accessible and easy to obtain. we can watch tv and be mindlessly entertained, the world's problems will melt away. we can buy things for ourselves, or if we're really great people, for others and feel good and happy. we can start taking paxil, drinking alcohol, popping uppers, and the like and feel happier. the guy is so fucking right.
  • the buddhists say that all life is suffering. i'm not sure all life is suffering, but suffering sure does make you appreciate the better things in life. so are there still questions as to why i wanted to have a string of really shitty jobs the year after college? i guess dungey and the buddhists articulate my views better than i can, but maybe now you can understand why i want to do that. maybe people can understand, too, why i look back on my painting job more fondly everyday. it sucked ass while i was doing it, but it was the best job i've ever had. sure the job at the shelter was also suffering, but it wasn't quite as great as the painting job. physical labor is, well, there's a lot to be said for physical labor. i think it's easy to reduce it to brute work and construction sites as a stew of masculinity and testosterone, but there's much to be learned from physical labor. i'm not defending the blatant male chauvinism that often occurs at construction sites, but i am defending labor. a sense of accomplishment is a good thing.
  • i can't believe i spelled chauvinism correctly. i still can't spell bourgeoisie, but i can spell chauvinism.
  • funny thing - i spelled bourgeoisie right for the first time in my life. i guess jon is good for something ;)
  • this update has been longer than i expected.
  • 33 more movies to watch this month/year. i will continue the goal to next year. 300 in 2001.
  • sounds like a battle cry. kinda like bush/quayle in 1996!
  • a year from now my life could be so completely turned upside down.
  • i guess the only smart thing to say would be that it could also be completely fucking awesome. after all, there's probably an equal chance for both.
  • aphex twin is good, but should stick to the ambient stuff. so if you know him, just tell him i said so.
  • our film history teacher is the shit. he was talking about martin scorsese calling him up with a question. he was also talking about being on the news hour with jim lehrer later this month. did i spell that guy's name right? he also likes planes trains and automobiles. he also said 'ah shit' when i told him about gore's winning florida being taken back because it was too close (back on nov. 7th). or did he say fuck? it was cool either way.
  • if i'm a teacher....i almost typed 'when' instead of 'if.' at any rate, when i'm a teacher i'm going to make it a point to talk to my students as i would talk with a peer. i think they'll respect and like that. i think teachers who cuss are generally cooler than those who don't. i can't remember a teacher who cussed and wasn't cool. if i got fired it would be pretty sweet. i could live off the government for a while and then be a bum and then kill myself after living in abject poverty for a while.
  • not sure where i come up with this stuff, but i should stop.
  • wish i could type faster.
  • i'm glad i haven't had sex yet.
  • i should make up another will. it's kinda fun. i'll make a point of doing just that sometime within the next few months.
  • the forty niners can make me cry.
  • this update has been a lot longer than i had expected. i actually didn't even plan on doing an update.
  • confession - i once tried to be a tagger in junior high. everyone else was doing it. writing my name on walls was exciting and fun. though, i'm not an artist so having any kind of style was always a problem. also i'm not very good at doing anything 100% so it kinda died down. i wasn't committed enough.
  • i think i could have been a good thief if i committed myself to doing that. to this day i come up with all sorts of scams, but don't seem to act on them. i should become a social darwinist and justify my theft with a mantra (which will be tattooed across my buttocks and forehead) "survival of the fittest!"
  • studying is hard and doesn't give immediate gratification.
  • MLK was smarter than Malcolm X. he also took a higher road. malcolm x was the shit and i love him. he had all the potential in the world and i think his suffering made his eyes pretty wide open and he really grew to know the things that he learned. MLK even says himself that he always had an easy life. i respect them both and both made an immeasurable impact on society, but MLK is more of a hero to me than X.
  • was thinking that today and realized that i gave a lot of press to malcolm, but never laid down my views on both of them, at once. so there, i've done it.
  • one day it would be nice to go over all my old updates and take some memorable quotes or entries and put them on a page. i'll never do it, but it would be nice.
  • wouldn't it be nice?
  • yes it would.
  • i'm feeling tired.
  • wish i could do crossword puzzles, but i can't. i suck at them. i'll never be very good without really applying myself. i'll never really apply myself to crossword puzzles.
  • wish i could be harder on myself. i find that i'm not hard enough on myself. wish i could really lay into myself. just really fucking bowl myself over with put down after put down until i was forced to self-destruction.
  • grim, dark sarcasm like that has no place here. get out.
  • got a catalog from the media education foundation, which puts out some really good left-leaning videos on anything from media portrayal of women to war. sadly the videos cost like 125 bucks for an hour's worth of film. they sell to schools so that's why. kinda sad if you ask me. i've gotten a couple things online in anticipation of one day being a teacher. i've even started writing down some ideas in my little black book. either i could be fooling myself or this could be real. but we won't know until it happens.
  • like i said this year, both school and calendar, is proving to be very very interesting.
  • looks like i could clean up this xmas. can't wait to just rip open all my presents. if my sister gets more than me i'm going to be pissed. i want lots of shiny things. and money, lots of money. and i want a gun and a new car. and a case of good ole jack daniels.
  • it would be interesting to see at what point certain people realized that last set of sentences was a complete joke. i'd guess the third sentence would be the first solid indicator. if you've gotten this far and are only starting to realize it now then maybe you should find yourself a new friend. hmm. yea tell me where you discovered it was a joke, be honest.
  • i remember going to tennesee to see my racist grandfather (the one i never talk about - on my dad's side of the family) and we visited the jack daniels factory. my dad had recently stopped drinking, ostensibly anyway, and we were there for a good portion of the day. i hated that whole trip, i fucking despised every aspect of it. i saw my dad as someone who was trying to be better by not letting drinking ruin our lives again and here was grandpa the racist taking us to this fucking devil's workshop telling us how great alcohol is and the like. fuck him he's an ass. by the end of the day i felt like my dad had turned on me because they were talking about how amazing the factory was. at one point i flipped my dad off. i think i was 11 or 12 at the time. fuck that day. fuck that factory. fuck the south. fuck alcohol.
  • now i'm not feeling so happy.
  • this update has been all personal. it's also taken an hour to write.
  • i should be a more tolerant person. it's the way i want to be. i should be able to tolerate stuff like jack daniel's factories. maybe one day i'll look back on this update and ask how i could be such an ass. i guess i'm looking back right now. i guess seeing the problem is the first step.
  • fucking life is so difficult sometimes.
  • i wish bill borchardt was still alive.
  • i wish i could hug tupac and make him love everyone. he's dead though and i never knew him.
  • it's going to rain saturday, i'm not going to be here. sunday it's going to be really really cold.
  • for all my posturing of thoughtful inner-reflection i sure am an emotional person. rationale should dominate my every movement - shouldn't it? ha!
  • i've been on a spelling streak. well, so far that i've checked anyway. i only check words once in a while, when i think i've gotten them wrong.
  • i've been apostrophe happy lately.
  • i have no clue what to get people for xmas. sarah is getting some burned cds, but other than that i don't know.
  • maybe aphex twin is bringing something strange out of me.
  • talked with vern and jon today about sex. air, water, food, sex. in that order those are the things humans need in order to sustain life. after i said that i asked a question - why does religion insist on making sex such sinful thing? jon said that it's probably because, at least in christianity, a core assumption is that we are all sinners...one way religion can ensure that is to pick something that is so basic to our needs and desires and call it sinful. i think that's basically what he was saying and i think that's as a good a guess as i've heard.
  • for the most part organized religion just pisses me off so i try not to talk about it.
  • melanie got to the second round of ben stein's money and lost to some crazy mental juggernaut who went on to beat mr. stein himself. so, no huge disappointment there. quite the contrary, in fact. fun is good. being on tv is gooder. being on comedy central will be the goodest.
  • i need to get some food for the next few days, but i don't want to spend money. i need to do some laundry, but i don't want to bother.
  • i should remember to bring my camera to santa cruz. i have about 2 pictures of johnny and one is from freshman year.
  • i should get my act together and start living up to my potential.
  • it's 03:13 now i should get some sleep.

  • Aphex Twin: Selected Ambient Works Vol. 2
    12-6-00 (00:41)
  • jon came by today with his new car. it's pretty plush. runs nice, feels strong, nice interior and exterior, seems to have plenty of bells and whistles.
  • dungey talked about MLK today. it was a great lecture. as it turns out dungey lives right across the park from where i live. saw him the other day when i was playing frisbee golf. pretty nifty. i still haven't talked to him.
  • updated movies list. billy wilder has done more good shit than i knew about.
  • not much to say.
  • nothing i really want to listen to in terms of music.
  • hmmm.

  • 12-5-00 (18:20)

  • tiffany (the 80s pop singer) was on the quad today, "singing." i guess she's making a comeback of sorts.
  • dungey was ranting about something and he mentioned her and about 2 seconds later a heavy set fellow comes into class, slightly late and out of breath, and gives dungey a tiffany poster which was apparently signed by her. it was classic. the timing was great. kinda had to be there to fully appreciate it, but it was certainly one of the highlights of the day.
  • class in 35 minutes. going to watch double indemnity, great movie.
  • still have about 5 movies of my own to watch. will do tomorrow.
  • pop culture quiz went better than expected, probably the best one all year. won't make up for the other sad attempts, but hopefully my paper and participation grades will.
  • speaking of that paper i want to get it done before my trip to santa cruz on friday morning.
  • jon's car came yesterday. v6 four wheel drive audi a4. think it's a 96 or something. fucking ridiculous, but he isn't the bourgeoisie for nothing.
  • that's twice today i've been an ass to jon. he really doesn't deserve all this abuse. it's all just in jest.
  • gotta relax for about half an hour before class starts.

  • 12-4-00 (22:43)

  • by the end of the day i always feel like time has flown by. during the day time seems to drag.
  • updated movies list. i can't seem to give a thumbs down, even if it's deserved.
  • trying to get online, but the line is busy. that hasn't happened in a long time.
  • turned in my paper today. have a quiz tomorrow. pop culture should have been my easiest class, turned out to be the hardest (grade-wise).
  • i should get cracking on the pop culture paper so it'll be out of the way.
  • going to santa cruz on friday, no word yet on whether luke will be my escort or not.
  • listening to led zeppelin = a spiritual experience surpassed by none other.
  • noticed the other day a banjo on a led zeppelin track. goddamn.
  • 00:36
  • wish i was smarter.
  • wish i got better grades.
  • wish i could win some contest to prove that i'm a worthwhile individual.
  • where the fuck are these fumes coming from? i'm about to collapse and shit.

  • 12-4-00 (03:12)

  • finished this mutha...while listening to "four sticks," led zeppelin IV.
  • i didn't know that angels with dirty faces was directed by michael curtiz. same fellow who did casblanca, i think.
  • my memory is shabby at best, but i'm over it. well mostly anyway.
  • going to bed soon enough. wake up
  • 3:50...got the proofread out of the way. this paper be done. chisel that shit in stone, and stuff.

  • 12-4-00 (00:21)

  • half way done, taking a break.
  • i pretty much have always written one draft of every paper in my college career. not a good idea.
  • updated wish list. added rechargeable batteries.
  • so many distractions.
  • i want ice cream.
  • led zeppelin all night long, it just turned out that way.
  • it's 2am now and i'm tired, lame ass. mostly done with this bastard. lots to talk about, not sure how to make it concise. it says to assume that the reader hasn't seen the movie. how the fuck do you analyze two movies without explaining a bunch of shit to them? how do you get a good grade and still spend a lot of time explaining and setting up scenes. it would be easier if this was an oral paper. i play some scenes and say 'hey look at this lighting - it's fucking dark, just like the situation is - without hope, blah blah blah' ... 'hey check out that funny shit chaplin is doing, ain't it funny? but hey those situations are so outrageously over-stated that it's got to be a social commentary...funny but social commentary versus ford - sad and dramatic, but social commentary. you dig? you give me A+? me sucky sucky for A. yes? you like sucky?'
  • reminds me of menace to society - 'i got a cheeseburger man...come on just hook me up. come on man....man, i'll suck yo dick!'
  • what a great film. better than boyz in the hood. just great.
  • 6 pages long and i have the conclusion and another paragraph in the body to go. 2:35

  • 12-3-00 (22:56)

  • got the intro. ended up scrapping most of the one i had worked on before, but that was expected, it was really just a thought exercise anyway.
  • listening to physical graffiti. it's a good thing i know how to spell it now. fucking tard.
  • checked out some of my old updates while i was at work, i must say that i'm downright ashamed of some of the things i've said. and in a rare attempt to be positive, i'm also impressed with others.

  • 12-3-00 (22:29)

  • woke up somewhat early today, for a weekend day anyway. watched two movies, played some frisbee golf, went to work, now i have to work on my paper. 5-7 pages on the different approaches to social commentary in Modern Times and The Grapes Of Wrath.
  • updated movies list. four in two days. have 6 more rented ones waiting to be viewed. then there's the 4 i borrowed from the father figure.
  • get to work.

  • 12-3-00 (01:50)

  • perspective is very important.
  • those who are able to fool themselves on a regular basis are more equipped in this world than most. they're more likely to be happy, so long as they can continue to fool themselves.
  • thinking is valued by most people, but is it really a good thing?
  • altruism can be a positive sum game. read today in some book about how altruism is by definition taking away from the giver to give to the receiver. this says that altruism is zero sum - that is, that giving involves taking away from yourself. say there is ten bucks in a given system and i have 8 bucks and joe has 2, altruism says that there is only ten bucks to be had, so if i get joe 1 buck then the sum is still 10. i don't know what the people writing this were smoking, but altruism isn't at all zero sum. what a numbskull notion.
  • not going to parties is a fine way for me to deal with it, i think. i just don't agree with most of what i experience and witness while at parties. pretty much the same reason i don't goto church.
  • listening to physical graffiti now.
  • the smartest person i've ever met sent me an email me the other day saying that she found my webpage intellectually stimulating. probably in the top ten compliments directed towards me of all time.

  • 12-3-00 (00:11)

  • at the behest of jonique i went to a party. this despite my not wanting to, at all.
  • everytime i goto a party i realize a few things - i'm not like most people my age, i abhor hedonism, i don't like drinking in groups, fun is relative, and no one understands me.
  • the more i think the more i come to the conclusion that pretty much everything in life is arbitrary and that i don't know shit. my values are pretty much arbitrary because the more i think about it there isn't a real Truth. the only truth i can hang my hat on is that hurting others isn't good. that still leaves a lot to be done.
  • nevermind, nothing matters. nothing matters, but there are lots of things that still annoy, bother, offend, and hurt me.
  • in order to be a happier person i should take some paxil and be over with it all.
  • jordan asked me about my girlfriend. i asked how he found out. phil told him. i'm not jordan's friend and he's not my friend.
  • i'm an asshole for not keeping friends.
  • it's too bad that i can't fit in better.
  • i honestly envy people who are more like the norm. it's easier and just as fulfilling. i'm dead serious.
  • where has thinking actually gotten me? if i thought less i'd be hooking up with some hot drunk chick right now.

  • 12-2-00 (19:10)

  • updated movies list.
  • "too many churches, not enought truth" - the guess who
  • cleaned the room a bit today.

  • 12-2-00 (15:16)

  • i used to think that utopia implied perfection without effort. i figured love was the same way. there's no way utopia or love can exist without some effort. we all want to be happy and have equal opportunity and all the other things that go along with utopia, but how often do people sacrifice and make earnest efforts towards this end? at any rate keep that in mind when complaining that utopia hasn't come.
  • was reading this shit for pop culture about women needing "maternal emotional fulfillment," as one writer called it. they (like i think all people) need to feel loved, cared for, important, need to be nutured, etc. so these authors claimed there were three ways they could get this - lesbianism, a relationship with a man, or other. they said the first wasn't allowed because of societal restraints (sad, but mostly true), the second wasn't possible because of man's masculinity (sad, but mostly true, though i think this could also fall under societal restraints), and the last was (they said) becoming more of an option. they talked mostly about romance novels being the "other" that was providing the emotional fulfillment. i think romance novels are trash. i also think it implies that the woman has settled for someone unfulfilling, that is if i were to buy into the theory that romance novels are filling the so-called maternal emotional need.
  • as is often the case in readings like this they offered plenty of theories and criticisms, but few answers. i understand why, but it can be frustrating to get a bunch of criticism, with little advice. this begs the question - what, chris, is the answer? i've said before that i have a few answers to life, but i've called them by different names at different times....in this case i'd say it comes down to tolerance and critical thinking. a) people need to think about what these romance novels mean, in the grander sense, and individually. why do some people (as was cited) read between 15 and 25 romance novels a week? self-reflection is a powerful thing, especially when coupled with intelligent thought. b) people need to be more tolerant of differing lifestyles, thoughts, ideologies, etc. men shouldn't have to feel like they need to be powerful providers - subscribed gender roles are no good. when that happens maybe more men will step up and provide for their women. also people need to look at homosexuality in a more accepting way. in a sense, societal restraints are so ridiculously arbitrary and unserving that they need not exist.
  • once again i feel like i haven't articulated my position clearly.
  • had work today, it was so so.
  • i might have figured out which movies i'm going to write about.

  • 12-1-00 (23:26)

  • it's december already, and in 30 minutes it'll be the second day in december. finals coming up.
  • still need to choose two films to watch and write about for my film paper.
  • work from 12-3 tomorrow, no fun, but it'll make me be awake.
  • this is going to be a short month as far as updates go, but my late night paper writing should yield a few goodies.
  • november archive here.
  • "i know what it means to be alone" ....as strange as it is to hear robert plant (of led zeppelin) say that, you gotta know it's true. his lyrics and delivery really make me believe that he really does know what it's like to be alone. of course, this is a stark contrast to some green teenager like aaron carter or the like who makes claims to being in love. i've always had to laugh at that. but who am i to judge?
  • watched some of the mclaughlin group show tonight. god what a joke. but who am i to judge?
  • feel bad because whenever i listen to led zeppelin it's one of the first five albums, physical graffiti, in through the out door, presence and coda are oft neglected. physical graffiti is hard to listen to, i find. you can't just have it at background noise for some reason. maybe it's because the compositions are much longer than pop songs, or maybe they're more complex. i don't really know. i do know that it's a fucking kick ass album, but i usually don't have the energy to listen to it. this is not to say that their other albums are less complex or more pop in their structure. they (the first five albums) just seem to appeal to me on both levels. so i can listen to led zeppelin I while wanking off on the computer or while laying down just listening to the music. i'll get a different experience either way, but both times i'll be entertained. it's hard to do the former while listening to physical graffiti. but who am i to judge?
  • still not 100% over my cold. they linger with me so much. not sure why. i seem to get more colds than most, but i can't remember the last time i've gotten a cold that was bad enough to keep me from working. work is the most important thing in the world, remember that and you'll live a long happy life.
  • been getting more and more buff these days. seriously, i'm fucking ripped.
  • worked on the car a bit today. always a pain in the ass. found out it would cost about 500 bucks to get the valves replaced. yay. intake and exhaust valves on cylinder #2 are dished, from what i hear. what can be done about that i don't know...other than replacing them i mean. who knows. anyway i figure i should tune that fucker up sometime when it's not cold, i have time, i have a timing light, and a couple more tools.
  • i lived with a couple tools once. they moved out.
  • downloaded yet another live beastie boys show today. took a shitload of time, but not a fuckload, and of course it was worth it.
  • speaking of the beastie boys, i should break out those dvds again. maybe one of these days i'll actually be able to see all they have to offer. not bloody likely since there's so much, but worth a shot.
  • i should sleep so tomorrow can be productive.
  • black mountain side is such a great track. you best recognize.
  • so if i get 13 beatles albums, plus the two past masters albums then i'll have 15 beatles cds. as far as physical space goes, then, they'll take up about as much space as led zeppelin, far less than the beastie boys (because i'm crazy like that) and more than all my other bands. i guess it's not that bad because they're going to be in the top three bands anyway. so nevermind.
  • i've spent so much money on beastie boys cds i really should be committed.
  • didn't know that committed had to "t"s. you'd think that i'd remember that by now.
  • well it's coming up on 1am now, i should sleep.
  • my last three meals have been breakfast burritos with avocado. damn good shit.
  • email me if you have the answer to life.
  • the b-side to led zeppelin I is so great. i wouldn't doubt it if you could find that exact quote somewhere in my archives. i repeat myself a lot, but it's mostly because i don't have much to say and an inactive imagination.
  • shut the fuck up.
  • the shimmer action on "these eyes" really gets me going.
  • Dungey was talking about the increased move in political science towards trying to quantify everything. he said that it was particularly evident in the study of war...then he wrote this up on the board...
  • Dungey is fucking classic.
  • Dungey's equation of war...

    "x squared plus y squared over pi times hell equals the chance of war"
    12-1-00 (22:17)
  • here's a wack theory i won't be able to articulate well enough: what if religion was the next step in the evolutionary process; or more specifically, believing in religion. when you think about it being religious makes life a lot easier - you know what you're allowed to do, what you're not allowed to do, what you need to do to be a good person, you know the answers of the universe, etc. of course these all differ according to religion, but they all make living a lot more simple. so what if those who believe in religion were really just more evolved? when i say evolved i mean that they've just found an easier way to live a happy or productive life. i envy those of you who have gotten to that point. i still question everything around me and constantly think about what is right and wrong, etc. it takes up a lot of my time and effort. i'm sure the stress doesn't lengthen my life either.
  • thought about that last night while going to sleep.
  • vern gave me a haircut today, he did the sides and i tried to do the top. it looks okay i suppose.
  • guess who i'm listening to right now. the guess who. har har har. they were good for about 18 months and then feel off the face of the earth. too bad.
  • updated movies list.
  • finally figured out my schedule for next year...i had forgotten to add my classes for the last few nights. all is well.
  • i take it back, the guess who had some talent post 1970, but it was hard to notice.
  • listening to beethoven's first. he's the shit.
  • i think living with johnny is going to be cool. maybe when i'm santa cruz he can learn me something about classical music. god knows i'll never read about it.
  • wish i read more.
  • wish i had the ability to read without my mind wavering.
  • vern put in his 2 week notice at tower. i've yet to buy a cd while he's worked there. i think the ratm cd will be the first, when it comes out - next tuesday. he may be working with me at the library, again.
  • applied for assistant III at the library, means more money, more happiness, more fulfillment.
  • for all my posturing of being laid back i sure am high strung about some things. i gotsta do something about that.

  • 12-1-00 (00:08)

  • the wwf is the world wrestling federation. for those who wanted to know.
  • updated movies list.
  • don't really like john wayne, but borrowed a few of his films from my dad over the break. he's good if you throw politics out the window and just try to be a man about it.
  • discovered that there is only one version of I Am A Fugitive On A Chain Gang, wrong again.
  • i used to be underrated / now i take iron, makes my shit constipated.
  • lauryn hill just said that newt gingrich sucks dick.
  • it's easy for cats to kill other cats, it's just the dogs they have the trouble with.

  • the more i think about it, people are dumb.

    11-30-00 (21:41)

  • was just thinking yesterday that i sure do update my webpage a shitload. johnny thinks i don't. or should i say, not as often as i once did.
  • i should watch a movie.
  • i've really shit away the last hour or so.
  • "Clinton Declares Self President For Life"
    11-30-00 (20:30)
  • there are a few things that make my blood boil like none other. saw some video in class the other day about african-americans in society and of course they showed news clips of blacks getting the shit beat out of them by cops/white people on the street or in restaurants for no reason. makes me so sick i can't begin to explain it.
  • the other thing is the wwf. god what utter garbage it is. conflicts are solved through violence. women are subservient, unequal (except in their likelihood to be beaten) and taken for granted. authority figures aren't given any respect, rules are broken, bent and shit upon. sad sick world.
  • also watched something about ecstacy on tv. i hate drugs.
  • read part of a jared diamond book (third chimpanze) which talked about drug use and self-destruction of various types. the reason i picked it up was because i recognized his name after my grandmother mentioned him. the reason i read some of the book was because he talked a lot about sex and sexual behavior as it relates to our base nature. i take it that he's an anthropologist of sorts because he talks a lot about the orgins of behavior as they evolved from primordial times or how they relate to the behavior of other animals. what interested me the most, though, was when he talked about drug use...he talked about it as a method of escape only briefly and concentrated on another possible cause for drug use and the like. he suggested that when people are able to harm themselves and still appear strong or virile it makes them seem all the more attractive. he likened this to several animal species and their acceptance of handicaps like extraordinarily long plumes or tails which would hinder the average bird/whatnot. he said that when a person is able to dring themselves to oblivion and take it then they are more attractive. mind you he spent an entire chapter on this theory and a) i didn't read it all and b) i'm not as eloquent as him so if none of this makes sense then there's good reason, and that reason is me. it's an interesting theory and here's how i related it to my own drug experiences, er something. after being hit by a couple cars while biking and living to tell the tale i kinda look fondly on the experience. almost look at myself as a stronger person because i've been hurt physically before and i'm still a well-functioning person.
  • it makes sense to me, but then again i've been thinking about it for a couple days and i actually read it from someone who had gathered his thoughts before spouting them onto the page. at any rate, you should read some of that stuff if you happen to work in a library and are bored.
  • 41 movies to go, 31 days to go. this is what i had kinda anticipated, but hoped wouldn't happen. i can do it, yes, but it's just going to take some discipline over the break.
  • work from 4-6 tomorrow and 12-3 on saturday and 6-10 on sunday. that's 9 hours i wouldn't normally have - good for money - bad for freedom, schoolwork and wanking off time.
  • film paper (5-7 pages) due monday. popular culture quiz on tuesday. probably leave for santa cruz on friday. get back monday (11th). pop culture paper (7 pages) due tuesday 12th. war final tuesday 12th. film final tuesday 12th. dungey take home final due no later than wednesday 13th at 2pm. leave for LA 5:50 pm wednesday.
  • so, if i managed my time like i did my money then i'd probably have 2 fails, an incomplete, and 1 D.
  • so, i should pick two films i want to write about and watch them before work tomorrow. then i should goto work. then i should come home and write up a little outline for my film essay. then i should goto a party and get drunk. saturday i should goto work a bit hung over and work on my essay after work. sunday i should read until 6pm, goto work until ten. polish up the essay and then goto sleep. monday night i should read the outline i will have made on the reading i will have done for the popular culture class. then wednesday and thursday i should write my pop culture paper and study for my war class final. then while in santa cruz i should have fun and study a couple hours a day for my war and film finals. somewhere in there i should finish my take home final for dungey's class.
  • such a joker. i wonder how i'll actually end up doing it all.
  • remember that tirade on inertia/habit and power? thought of a good way to summarize some of my thoughts on my theory of inertia - "momentum" the song on the magnolia soundtrack touches upon it pretty nicely.
  • music so much more eloquent than i'll ever be.
  • 11-30-00 (00:46)
  • easily the fastest month of the year.
  • luke never updates his page. when he does the updates are short.
  • listening to elvis costello.
  • have two small small tiny papers due tomorrow. i'm a very bad student in most every way. hope i can be a good teacher. hope i become a teacher. hope i don't fail as a person.
  • damn it's hard to change.
  • why are there so many negative thoughts in my head?
  • shit! forgot to take my paxil today.

  • 11-29-00 (21:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • december last year was the shits. too much work. this year's december could shape up to be about as bad, but in a different way. gotta make a trip to santa cruz. have four finals in two days. have 40 films to watch. have plenty of moving around in LA to do and no vehicle for it.
  • watched part of the beastie boys dvds today, there are two of em. so much stuff on them it's insane. insanely good. director and band commentary. a good number and range of videos. multiple angles and soundtracks to choose from. pictures, storyboards, misc. information, behind the scenes type of stuff, etc. very cool.
  • had to buy a battery for the camera today. kind of a rip off, but what's a man supposed to do; i gotsta take pictures.
  • by request, updated wish list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • no rain while i was awake so i don't count it for today.
  • 11-29-00 (00:49)
  • film teacher talked about planes, trains, and automobiles being one of his favorite comedies. damn that guy rocks the house. of course it's my favorite all time comedy.
  • jon bought a car.
  • have lots to say, but i never have time. tomorrow i'll have more time.
  • got the beastie boys dvd today. thanks phil.
  • need to come up with some financial plans so i don't leave college with debt. or something.
  • updated movies list.
  • listening to jagjit singh right now. very peaceful. mike d would be proud.
  • i don't know very much about very much.
  • gotta sleep.

  • 11-27-00 (20:55)

  • played basketball while i was in LA, that was some fun stuff. good to get back to it a little after such a drought.
  • yea, the drought is over. what fun.
  • been trying to think of some common traits among my friends. i think the big one would be sense of humor. i guess i agree with most of them politically in a broad sense too. but those are about the only two i can come up with.
  • i think a lot of life is about finding balance. i used to think that it was really important to be self-sufficient. i realize now that it's not as important as i once thought. sure it's important to be able to do things for yourself, but it's not good to think you have to do everything yourself. may seem obvious to some, but that's just because you are wise beyond your years, i'm still learning. seriously though, balance is important. sure white people are the devil, but not all of them, you gotta realize that. well, something along those lines.
  • vern hooked up the blur best of cd (two cd set) so i'm 8 away from 500 now. super phat. working at tower records definitely has it's advantages. he gets a bunch of old magazines and posters for free too.
  • track 9 is playing - tender. great song, still.
  • going to eat some turkey, on the sandwich tip, yo.

  • 11-27-00 (11:49)

  • got on the plane a little late. checked in baggage late, but it still got on the same plane so that was good luck.
  • thanksgiving dinner was pretty kick ass. my grandparents are the only sane people left in my family.
  • foggy and ugly in davis today, stark contrast to the sunny southern california. that's the best thing about socal. fair weather is a plus in my book since i like to be able to go outside in shorts and a t-shirt as much as possible.
  • got my beatles cd in the mail.
  • got to see my dad while i was home. borrowed 6 movies, big bonus.
  • watched meet the parents, ergo i updated movieslist.
  • vern cleaned the house. some crazy, but good, shit.
  • updated cdlist.
  • this was by far the best thanksgiving vacation of my life.

  • 11-21-00 (19:37)

  • all set. dropped off videos. jonique coming to provide ride in an hour.
  • power and inertia. was thinking about those while on my bike to the video store. they can both take on scientific meaning in the natural world, and thus seem to add something interesting to my upcoming thoughts. much of life can be brought to power and inertia. black people call each other nigger in order to claim power. by redefining the meaning they claim power to its connotation. if they change the meaning of a word like that then they've taken the sting out of the word and shifted the power associated with the word. this is the theory many purport. though i can't articulate the breadth of this argument it seems valid to me. if you care more about the language aspect of power and meaning, etc. stuart hall is your man. of course power reaches beyond just language and meanings behind words...lots of things we value can be construed to be, at least partly, about power...relationships, politics, money, work, etc. you can come up with your own examples, we all know it's there. inertia the way i'm talking about it refers to habit. it seems more and more to me that humans are very habitual. breaking habits is extremely hard, regardless of what they are. in so many ways the way we live our lives are results of power and habit. the reason i look at myself in the mirror before i leave it twofold: vanity is important - why? well this can be questioned and fought over for pages, but i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there is a hegemony of thought in society that vanity is something that matters. hegemony is about power. whether you agree with marx that the bourgeoisie sets norms to exploit them or not, i think a lot of it still comes down to the fact that there is a power play going on somewhere which determines how we are expected to live our lives and how, to a certain extent, we should live. one of those things involves the high placement of looks in our minds - it's important to look good. the second reason i look in the mirror before i leave is because i'm used to caring about how i look. if i tried tomorrow to stop caring how i look i know i couldn't do it. that's why i've said changing who you are is a very very hard thing to do. changing the way you think is very hard. just look at people in the south.
  • 90% chance that i didn't make any sense in that paragraph.
  • here's my point - think about how big a role power and habit seem to be in all facets of your life. if you really think about it i think you'd be surprised. unless of course you've given the subject a lot of thought already. it's my job to bring these things to the top of your mind.
  • going to eat my banana split now.
  • might update once or twice while in la, dj who knows.

  • 11-21-00 (18:48)

  • leaving for la tonight. change in plans, yes. bad idea, no. will i forget something in the last minute rush, yes.
  • bringing sleeping bag in case i'm stranded in la without place to sleep. tent too? overkill. no.
  • going to have banana split for dinner. oatmeal and banana split for the day. yum.
  • today was very rain filled.
  • got back my midterm, dungey's class. got a lower grade than i expected. this the one time that i really honestly felt i knew a lot more than the grade showed. i felt prepared, maybe overly prepared. maybe i should have just done a better job of discriminating what (not) to include.
  • i should start packing fudge. god why do i say such things? really though, i should get to packing.
  • fuckin' freak.
  • when you think about it, which i apparently have, the phrase "money is no object" is kinda funny. it seems to me that that implies that if money were an object then you'd value it highly. i propose changing it to: "money is just an object." that is, money is just an object - something of only small worth. after all, call me an idealist, objects shouldn't be held in high regard. money, objects, etc. shouldn't be as valued as other things...those things are for you to discover. just a thought.

  • 11-21-00 (11:23)

  • it's raining, gay.
  • quiz in half hour or so.
  • oatmeal is good. breakfast is even better.
  • raining outside, wack.
  • in utero is an underrated album. should listen to it tonight.
  • no time now.
  • did 13 pull-ups this morning. then 6. then 6 again. then 8.
  • the worst of my cold is over.
  • last night was good for biking. lots of weaving in and out of people, lots of crowds and groups to jet through. there was one assembly of idiot freshmen types by the dorms. they were playing around with a shopping cart, goofing off and such and i went in between a few of them just as one of them turned around to look at his friends i zoomed by. he yelled at me. i smiled. it didn't even occur to me until later that i could have easily run into him and bit it hard. of course that didn't happen and so the maneuver proved enjoyable, for me.

  • 11-21-00 (02:30)

  • did some studying, good.
  • you know, dread zeppelin should piss me off the way they destroy great songs like stairway to heave, but i actually enjoy their takes on led zeppelin songs.
  • off to a better start with fantasy basketball than in the past.
  • if you ever find "blind willy" by sonny sharrock on mp3, tell me. i want it. it's the shit. maybe i should just buy the album. i do have a bad copy from LP on MD, i guess that'll have to do in the mean time.
  • idioteque is different from what i generally think of radiohead style, but it's good shit. cross between talking heads and some blues/rock guitar track, but then again what do i know?
  • there's a difference between something being shit and being the shit. if it's shit then it sucks. backstreet boys are shit. led zeppelin are the shit. ya dig?

  • 11-21-00 (00:09)

  • how does one follow up an update like that?
  • updated movies list.
  • today was pretty good overall. started it off well, that's always good.
  • couple more days and i'll be a free man for a few days. only one more day than i'm used to really. kinda wack.
  • my light just faded out of existence. sad. need to buy a new one now.
  • quiz tomorrow. no class on wednesday. too bad i find this out today.
  • midterm went well enough. essay was no bonus. didn't catch me offguard, but didn't really have as much information as i should have. Maoz needs to start researching something more useful than war, which at this point can really just be broken down to simple playground politics. the direction of political science is a little distressing. all these big shots from vanderbilt and the like talking about things in terms of statistics and studies. please just study my cock. long and hard; the studies, that is.
  • i think i was a very angry person my second year of college. or depressed. or living with a couple christians. even sleeping in the same room as one of them. god, how did i do that and maintain sanity? the answer lies in my latin workbooks. i was a sick person in desperate need of some help and guidance. i had fewer than 300 cds back then, too. maybe that was the problem.
  • it really is sickening that i have almost 500 cds. the other night scott asked me how many i had and it made me think about it. i guess it's a good thing i built my cd case to house so many.
  • having this many cds does help me deal with life, strange as it may seem. when i'm in a bad mood i can choose more than just the b-side of led zeppelin I or paul's boutique or some stevie wonder to get me out of my funk. having more choices helps. i've got a cd to supplement or combat most emotions i have. i'm glad i discovered music. and you.
  • yes, led zeppelin still kick ass. hope you weren't doubting that.
  • cds to buy: ok computer, meddle, piper at the gates of dawn, new ratm, blur - best of, old 2pac, snivilizations, zooropa, anything beatles.
  • short, simple, quick list. probably should add - some sort of good opera shiznit.
  • i'm going to study very shortly. seriously. because i'm the boss of me.
  • you're not the boss of me! you're not my boss. you neither, you're not the mom of me. you're not my mom! i'm the boss of dirk!
  • boogie nights is fucking great. you best recognize.
  • planned on reading my last update while at work for shits and giggles. didn't get around to tit. ha ha. tit. ha ha. funny! ha ha. laugh. funny. ha ha.
  • shut up.
  • that was better heard than read.
  • 45 movies to go.
  • must study.
  • smashing pumpkins - siamese dream. bummer. i remember when i first looked at the back of the cd and thought that the song title was "hummer," not bummer. the bottom of the 'b' isn't closed so one can't blame me for that.
  • okay i'm studying. fore reels. four reels. for reals. really.

  • 11-20-00 (02:02)

  • studying is something i'm horrible at.
  • i'm not good at reading.
  • my memory is bad.
  • i'm very hard on myself.
  • i don't achieve my potential.
  • i can't spell for shit.
  • i'm excellent in the sack.
  • my posture is horrible.
  • this is me studying. see?
  • the midterm tomorrow will not go well.
  • didn't study well tonight.
  • won't study enough in the morning.
  • never bought the book.
  • even if i did buy the book i wouldn't have read it.
  • the teacher's testing methods are to blame for my bad score.
  • didn't watch a movie today.
  • the reason i didn't study well is because i'm sick.
  • ritalin could really help a guy like me.
  • some prozac would be good too.
  • i'll get a few comments about this shitty update.
  • never bought phil a birthday present.
  • i'm a horrible friend.
  • i'm a horrible person.
  • i'm smiling while i'm typing this.
  • why am i so deranged?
  • david bowie is pretty cool. he even has a song called "i'm deranged."
  • i don't like david lynch.
  • i'm probably not smart enough to like david lynch.
  • all this crap is coming right off the top of my head and spilling onto the page.
  • it's 2:10 in the am.
  • compose a beat.
  • that's from a dr. dre song...wake up in the am, compose a beat.
  • dr. dre is cool.
  • you're a bastard for liking dr. dre or any of this associates.
  • gansta rap is bad for society. their treatment of women is abhorrent.
  • wonder if i spelled that right. surely someone will tell me if i didn't.
  • in a few days i'll be in la.
  • not louisiana.
  • just ran spell check to make sure i spelled louisiana right.
  • i did, but it goes to show.
  • absolutely nothing.
  • that's what war is good for.
  • edwin starr, right? two "r"s, yes?
  • crack kills.
  • gotta find some good opera music. any suggestions?
  • wonder what the most fucked up update on this page was.
  • maybe this ranks up there.
  • funny thing is i don't mean half, more than half, of this shit.
  • it's just stuff that's on my mind.
  • surely there is more on my mind.
  • can't talk about all that though. surely a torrent of emails will follow.
  • did i spell torrent correctly?
  • not one for spelling. talking is better.
  • i stutter more than i'd like. esp, with people i'm nervous around.
  • where do all the lonely people come from?
  • a la the beatles.
  • who the fuck is elenor rigby? i'm sure i spelled her first name wrong.
  • i really don't care that much that my spelling sucks.
  • i do care in that it hurts the image people have of me.
  • vanity is retarded, but crucial.
  • what can be done?
  • the answer is always nothing. just like with war.
  • nihilism will get you nowhere.
  • but then again everything gets you nowhere.
  • right?
  • hedonism is the answer.
  • no it's not. there is a higher moral authority.
  • abbey road, let it be, and the white album.
  • those are the three i own. forgot about "let it be"
  • know you know, knowing is half the battle.
  • i know that i know nothing.
  • earthquakes are the shit.
  • earthquakes are bad.
  • population control is needed.
  • stupidity is population control.
  • you're such a realist.
  • wait, i thought you were an idealist.
  • oooh, contradiction. god chris you make me horny.
  • freud can suck deez.
  • i want you (she's so heavy) 7:46 minutes of pure beatles greatness.
  • i didn't know that lucy in the sky with diamonds was about drugs.
  • not until i was 15 or so.
  • does that make me dumb?
  • no.
  • but people would treat me as such if i had fessed up to it.
  • you should probably just delete this all, study, and goto sleep.
  • why would you insist on having this on your webpage?
  • people don't need to know that you're a freak.
  • you're not a freak, you just have a chemical imbalance.
  • fuck prozac. bozac.
  • i'm a writer, a poet, a genius i know it.
  • the beastie boys are fucking great. beastie boys, i love you.
  • and you too.
  • led zeppelin are the shit.
  • houses of the holy is better than led zeppelin I.
  • maybe even better than zoso, IV.
  • the beatles are better than led zeppelin.
  • nothey'renot.
  • never.
  • how many times have you opened the dictionary to save face?
  • too many.
  • how many more times. a good led zeppelin son.
  • actually a great led zeppelin song.
  • not smoking pot was probably the best thing you ever did for your memory.
  • you still need to study.
  • it won't help.
  • it doesn't matter.
  • it doesn't matter: a good wyclef jean track, latest album, the rock is the guest.
  • the rock is the epitome of what is wrong with society.
  • not really.
  • the wwf is shit though.
  • really really bad shit.
  • fuck the wwf.
  • 2:27
  • should get to bed by 3. should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • liking guns and roses makes you dumb.
  • not really. not at all.
  • you should dress better.
  • you should wear a dress.
  • jim wears dresses.
  • he's got problems?
  • or does he have answers?
  • he's got issues.
  • you've got issues.
  • tender is the night.
  • you listened to that song about 50 times in the span of 24 hours.
  • should have worded that differently.
  • at any rate, anyhoo. not long ago i thought anyhoo was anywho.
  • dumbass.
  • not really.
  • anyhoo. listened to that song many many times.
  • yet you still couldn't, in silence, recite it's melody or even its lyrics.
  • that first "it's" should be changed to: "its"
  • just so you don't think i'm dumb.
  • but you don't.
  • just a little retarded.
  • ha ha.
  • you make yourself laugh. that's not bad.
  • love's the greatest thing.
  • come on come on come on.
  • love's the greatest thing, that we have.
  • waiting for that feeling, to come.
  • blur said it. i'd have to agree.
  • dungey even agrees.
  • why use "even"? of course he agrees. bad diction.
  • diction means word choice, right?
  • red shoes are cool.
  • red is a good color, but blue is slightly better.
  • for most things.
  • lots of work to be done.
  • leave it all. leave it ALL. runawayandlive.
  • nah, that's too hard.
  • talkitdon'twalkit.
  • fear is your only god.
  • this isn't dark.
  • this sounds like something marc would say.
  • marc's classic.
  • i'm down with marc. i'm not down on marc though.
  • that is contrary to my sexual preference.
  • head out of the gutter.
  • fatboy slim - halfway between the gutter and the stars
  • right? don't have it, yet.
  • some of these allusions you'll get, others you won't.
  • who is "you?"
  • no one. maybe everyone.
  • bored yet?
  • bs2000 playing, the new stuff.
  • adrock is the most musically talented of the three.
  • now you see why A-U-C-H
  • taking all emcees out in the place.
  • sounds better on paul'sboutique.
  • it's the best album of all time. officially.
  • dust brothers had a lot to do with it though.
  • wish the beastie boys could claim all the genius of it.
  • they can't. they're still the shit.
  • being in debt is bad.
  • right?
  • filing for bankruptcy is the easy way out and it's bad.
  • right.
  • naked if i want to. a good song.
  • like the cover more than the orignal.
  • not a big fan of moby grape.
  • cat power is cool, moby grape were more influential.
  • right? i think. but you don't know.
  • nothing. again.
  • a sad song.
  • fa fa fa.
  • scorsese. under-rated. good. classic. taxi driver, easy to relate.
  • 2:40.
  • what a waste.
  • remember george clooney story in playboy:
  • old man on death bed says "what a waste, what a waste"
  • don't want to be like that.
  • regret nothing or, like in magnolia, regret all you want?
  • answer please.
  • nothing. again.
  • not depressed. not sad.
  • nothing. again.
  • seems bad. but not.
  • god the emails will ensue.
  • should just scrap this and sleep.
  • what a waste.
  • regret nothing.
  • regret all you want.
  • circle game. good song.
  • reminds me of ymca. good memories.
  • not going next year.
  • must discover country and self.
  • ha. the former will be no easy task. the latter is futile.
  • futility.com
  • ben stein.
  • matthew broderick. spell that right?
  • ferris bueller's day off. classic fun.
  • rainy day movie for sure.
  • foe life.
  • "mack 10 you know you rule hip-hop"
  • crazy night in la.
  • not louisiana.
  • jesse is a funny guy. drives like a crazy man.
  • maniac.
  • maniac is a funny movie. well the part i saw anyway.
  • scientist chases cat. catches it. squeezes out eyeball.
  • gross/funny. a pre-code film. 1933?
  • not going to be on film quiz.
  • definitely not going to be on midterm in 9 hours.
  • buy bluebook. 29 cents.
  • surely you have 29 cents.
  • seen and not seen. talking heads song. good.
  • this is longer than anyone would have wanted.
  • long enough to make studying impossible.
  • 2:46.
  • wasteful.
  • grades are important.
  • emails will ensue. fuck.
  • scrap this shit and save yourself.
  • this will make people laugh.
  • maybe.
  • hopefully people don't think i'm psycho.
  • that would suck.
  • if you think i'm crazy or something just keep it to yourself.
  • i've got enough to worry about.
  • hmmm, seems to be straying from the style. bad writer.
  • this can't be bad.
  • i understand like no one else.
  • you are me. i'm you.
  • perfect fit.
  • should buy magnolia dvd and boogie nights dvd.
  • think i already did buy magnolia dvd.
  • wasteful.
  • should have bought bum a dinner.
  • after watching roger and me, went searching for someone
  • someone to feed.
  • lots to give.
  • now somewhere to put it...
  • beat around the bush.
  • fuck bush.
  • how to break it to them?
  • back hurts.
  • the white man's got a god complex.
  • god. dog. hmmm.
  • stupid.
  • don't really think that. right?
  • think it.
  • know it to be false.
  • make no sense.
  • study.
  • robert plant knew what was up.
  • fuck he was the shit.
  • still sick. should sleep.
  • stay up all night and study.
  • better in the long run.
  • long run this.
  • michael stipe is pretty much the shit.
  • good music.
  • produces some bombass films too.
  • american movie.
  • being john malkovich.
  • probably more.
  • same michael stipe?
  • assume so.
  • ASS out of U and ME.
  • that's that nakabara would say.
  • nakabara was funny.
  • hate math, but math teacher funny guy.
  • writing like this makes you retarded.
  • quite the contrary young sir.
  • gridlock?
  • duh.
  • out of order. frozen republic.
  • 2:56.
  • what a waste.
  • national anthem. good song.
  • thom is so depressing.
  • he's got issues.
  • she's got issues, a good offspring song.
  • offspring are sellouts. not hip to like them.
  • note to self: be hip.
  • note to self: buy more cool clothes.
  • note to self: tattoo idea - gap on forehead.
  • i, too, wore 'i voted sticker' on forehead once.
  • wow.
  • it is possible.
  • thom, what are you saying?
  • note to self: have sex with bassist from radiohead.
  • note to self: limit homosexual innuendo to one per update.
  • vanity is more important than your first born.
  • longest update ever. gotta be.
  • must define 'longest.'
  • oooh, you're such a thinker.
  • ner.
  • johnny is funny. funny ha ha, not funny queer.
  • queer is a bad word.
  • you're bad for saying it.
  • typing it, whatever.
  • feel guilty. now!
  • imperative.
  • 11 away from 500.
  • too many cds.
  • never.
  • 3:04.
  • past bedtime. mission acomplished.
  • one "c" or two? i think two. you should change that.
  • you should at least check.
  • you won't remember anyway.
  • just like necessary.
  • one "c." guess you remember that, at least.
  • how bad would that look if it turned out to be two "c"s?
  • very very bad. people would hate you from now on.
  • really should study. if even for 10 minutes.
  • above all you should delete this whole update.
  • please delete it
  • please
  • please
  • i'm pleading
  • please
  • no reason for its existence
  • delete
  • delete
  • just do it.
  • now. delete it.
  • take it all back.
  • it's never too late.
  • steppenwolf song.
  • delete it
  • please.
  • please?
  • please!
  • not depressed.
  • please?
  • seriously feel just fine.
  • not kidding. seriously. weird. true.
  • maybe that prozac is working.
  • no prozac here.
  • just good ole anthony powers-esque positive thinking.
  • really.
  • should buy ok computer next.
  • didn't you say that about a lot of albums?
  • yes.
  • still should.
  • money shouldn't exist.
  • property is a bad idea.
  • didn't kill an ant today because i felt bad about it.
  • it's just an ant.
  • exactly.
  • just delete this update.
  • it's bizarre.
  • bound to freak people out.
  • bound to depress people.
  • bound to get negative press.
  • press?
  • bound to upset.
  • bound to do nothing good.
  • bound. i remember that movie. vaguely.
  • you were going to sleep a long time ago.
  • this is all me. not all of me. but it's all me.
  • don't mean a lot of it.
  • don't believe a lot of it.
  • thought all of it.
  • your job to discern which is which.
  • if you know me then you know.
  • please don't read this update.
  • should have said that at the beginning.

  • 11-19-00 (23:09)

  • had dinner at jonique and phil's. phil remained civil and cordial. go phil.
  • i think phil is going to have a car by summer time. he's making mad bank.
  • i, on the other hand, will well. nevermind.
  • life is a crock, a dupe, "nasty, brutish and short."

  • 11-19-00 (18:11)

  • today has been thoroughly uneventful.
  • talked to johnny last night, that was cool.
  • dinner at jonique and phil's in an hour. i'm going to count the number of times phil says something negative. should be a fun little exercise in futility.com
  • read some today. haven't watched a movie.
  • my sociology reading is retarded i know that despite reading the material i'm not going to do well. maybe i shouldn't care.
  • i think white, right-handed, non-handicapped, men work harder than other people; that's why they succeed.
  • so, not much to talk about right now.
  • listened to "the in sound from way out!" a few times today. the beastie boys album, not the perrey and kingsley one. i might be going insane if i listened to the perrey and kingsley album three times in a row.
  • was going to cut vern's hair but i guess he wants to watch tv instead.
  • gotta kill 45 minutes somehow.
  • i'm going to start killing everything that doesn't believe the same way i do.
  • homogeneity is the only way to go.
  • i wasn't in such a dark mood before, not sure what happened.
  • maybe i should just goto jonique's house now and get to studying since anything i do in between now and 7 will be a waste.
  • my stomach hurts.

  • 11-18-00 (23:47)

  • washed the dishes for an hour and a half today
  • made a mistake - turned on the tv. pulp fiction was on fox. they butchered the shit out of the 2 mins that i watched. sure, just rape one of the greatest films of all time by putting commercials in, editing it to shit, and silencing half the things they say. jeez.
  • i need stamps.
  • updated movies list. watched two tonight.
  • had some banana split action today, that was good shit.
  • have lots of studying to do tomorrow. hope that works out.
  • jonique came by today while i was popping pills. that was a surprise.

  • 11-18-00 (15:49)

  • i'm officially the most lazy piece of shit ever.
  • i think that thought is the highest form of self betterment.
  • listened to tender about 50 times last night. no joke. wow.
  • i think vern is back. maybe not. someone left a package inside and i hope it wasn't ups. nothing's missing so i don't really care. i don't understand why vern would be back already. maybe the managers put it inside so it wouldn't get stolen.
  • gotta eat and watch some movies. then i gotta study some sociology.
  • had some strange dreams last night. one of them was that i took apart an engine and was messing around with the camshaft. i wish i knew how to do that shit.
  • once gay people are seen as equals the world will perfectly equal. yay. how about children, overweight people, the handicapped, animals, etc. my point is that there always seems to be someone next in line to fight for. why can't we just treat beings equally?
  • "cries of impending doom rose from the soil...a million voices full of fear...and i begged: angel of the lord, what are these tortured screams? these are the cries of the carrots. you see, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust...and i roared i've seen the light - they have a consciousness."
  • march of dimes - a charity seeks to prevent infant mortality and birth defects - sent me all these custom return address labels. bonus. then i started to feel bad. so i donated 10 bucks. i'm such a suckah. i know they're legit so it's not so bad.
  • candle came out pretty good.

  • 11-18-00 (01:44)

  • took malcolm out today and ran some errands. ran okay, starting up was a bit rough. really really need to get around to a tune-up. i think there are some things i need. i should figure all that out so i can get down and dirty. or something.
  • listened to "tender" literally 20+ times tonight. that's a lot considering it's 7 minutes 40 seconds long. i don't usually do that with one song over and over again like that. i have before, but i don't think i've ever done it like i did tonight. i'd feel bad at this point if i didn't buy the single, at least. i'll give the album a test drive and see how it is. if it's decent then "13" could be my first blur album.
  • first time i heard that song was while christy (johnny's girlfriend and probably my future roommate) was listening to it. as i mentioned below, i hated it, and made my opinion known. so i officially feel like an asshole.
  • guilt is about as useful as ...
  • as i was trying to think of something that is completely useless i went over to my huge vanilla candle, which is getting closer to its end, and saw that it had a small hole on its side. so i took off some excess wax and was going to put it in the hole to patch it up. i rotated the candle so that i could work from a different angle. all three wicks are burning at this point, mind you. and all of a sudden two of the wicks go dead and i hear liqud pouring on my toolbox and the floor, beneath the candle. then i see that the melted wax pool has all gone through the bottom of the candle which is now completely broken apart. now i have wax all over the place. wax is pretty much impossible to get off the carpet. i could get mad or frustrated, but what's the point of that. ha. funny shit.
  • now i have a project - make a new candle with the remaining wax. sadly i don't drink soda so i don't have any aluminum cans. i'm going to go search the dumpster right quick.
  • life is the shit. you best recognize.
  • mission accomplished. had to go to the nearby park, but i found a 24 oz beer can. it'll be perfect for my candle. now if i could just find my wick. the small ones from the dead candle won't work. shite.
  • life is grand.
  • just found the old wick and it'll be perfect.
  • well that project took an hour. that was more than expected, but it should shape up nicely. waiting for it to cool.
  • heard the new ratm single today. first time i listened to the radio in several months. only did because i was in the car. it was the afrika bambaataa cover. pretty good shit. a lot different from the original, but that was the point.
  • well tender is still playing, i still haven't killed it. it's played over 30 times now for sure. jeez i've never listened to one song this many times in a row. november 17th will always be remembered by listening to this song.
  • it's 3:20 now. guess i should think about going to sleep. i guess i'm even a bit tired.
  • i should read my sociology shit tomorrow and maybe get the groundwork laid for studying that damn war book. i guess i'll be making a trip to the library either way.
  • i think i had more to say, but i'm high on candle fumes right now. had to disable the smoke alarm. i might pass out and die. if so my will is on the march 2000 update. send my regards to the world.
  • went out to eat lunch today. for dinner i had some great turkey, thanks to the grandma. the lunch was a basic chicken teriyaki bowl, th e good thing about it was that it was at this place in downtown which i've wanted to go to since freshman year. finally just went. three years of build-up and it wasn't even that spectacular. the chicks working there were really stupid too. like really stupid.
  • gotta sleep. gotsta see two movies tomorrow and study and all that silly shit in between.
  • it's a lot warmer in sylmar than it is in davis, but it's windy.

  • 11-17-00 (21:45)

  • i could see the beatles being my second favorite band once i have all the albums. this is one reason i've delayed getting their cds for so long, they're really going to disrupt the current hierarchy on the cd case.
  • why try and make a best of for the beatles? i guess the new album is good in that it just chose songs that reached number one on the charts so then there's no fighting over songs left out. still kind of pointless for a band like that. same with led zeppelin.
  • updated movies list.
  • i heard "tender" by blur one time and hated it from the very beginning. but as soon as it was over i realized that i liked it. finally downloaded it today. that song is a lot like 2001, the movie, in that respect. i remember walking out of 2001 and hating it. then later i realized that it kicks ass. i'm strange like that.
  • was thinking about some things i could have been good at. i think i could have been a good thief. sure i was caught once, but i was sloppy back then. i think i could be pretty good at it if i put some effort into it. i guess morals could be holding me back from my true calling. oh well.

  • 11-17-00 (18:53)

  • ran some errands today.
  • got new tires for the bike. looks pretty sweet and won't have to worry about cracks in the rear tire or thorns in the front. surprised that i was still able to ride it with all the problems those two tires had.
  • downloading some john zorn jazz stuff. he's the shit. we have a few of his 'masada' albums at the station, but i've never gotten around to buying anything by him. surprised to see him on napster, pleasantly.
  • vern is gone for the weekend. forgot about that until i got home and saw the note.
  • gonna be in the low sixties this week. yippee.

  • 11-17-00 (00:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • saw a girl in a 1967 beetle today. i knew it was a 67 because it was kept pretty much stock and 67 is my year so i'm all over that shit. talked to her for a while about bugs and such. there's definitely a community feeling when it comes to air-cooled vw owners. the water cooled owners don't seem as down. that's too bad.
  • yesterday i was talking about jesus being stolen to a co-worker, while checking out a book to this well-mannered, well-groomed, patron. he  just kinda smiled at the prospect that my former scooter's name was jesus. today he came back up to me and told me a sob story about his lame friend who took his book and how it's going to be like 2 days late. he asked if there was any kind of fine. of course there will be a fine, sir. probably in the neighborhood of 40 bucks. shite, he said. then i asked if he had ever been fined before. he said no. i said if you just bring the book to me i wouldn't mind do you, a poor student and fellow member of the proletariat, a small favor. despite the bourgeoise not teaching me the methods by which i might clear fines, i have gathered such knowledge through my years of working here. time equals wisdom. so i hooked a brotha up and he thanked me.  later he came back and said "what's your name?" my name is chris. "cool...if i ever get a scooter i'm going to name it Jesus" i was touched.
  • someone at the library checked out a book called "denying the holocaust" asked her what cases people made to try and deny it. there is some scientific evidence...residue on the walls of the gas chambers and such. kinda interesting, though false, i'm sure. people have checked out books telling them how to design airplanes. i guess i shouldn't be surprised by now. grad students, as their thesis, sometimes even write out the steps required to make a nuclear bomb. not that hard i hear.
  • gotta go.

  • 11-16-00 (18:38)

  • stayed up late last night and watched american movie, again. that's five times this year. five times in the last six months. updated movieslist.
  • today was pretty good i must say.
  • learned a lot of shit. actually it was more that i learned of the framework of a lot of things about which i've already been thinking. this quarter has been that way...transcendentalism, modernism, post-modernism, structuralism, all the -isms you can think of.
  • was on my way from school the other day thinking about life, the world, etc. when i questioned why i think about these things so much. i think it's because when i was young i didn't have any friends, didn't watch much tv, didn't have a nintendo, and didn't read. i'm not so happy about the fact that i didn't have friends or that i didn't read, but all those things led me to being alone in my room, just thinking. i remember sitting in my room bored just thinking about what to do and since that was a worn subject my mind would eventually wander. i'm not saying that i was thinking about transcendentalism and marxism at the age of 10, but it got me in the habit of thinking, a lot.
  • humans are very habitual beings.
  • i was reading some of MLK's autobiography just the other day and he mentions thoreau as being a great influence on him. of course i knew that gandhi influenced MLK's views a shitload, as well - passive resistance, civil disobedience, etc. then in class today we talked a lot about that shit. it was good.
  • got back my popular culture quiz grade. let's just say i might have to talk with the professor about his weak ass testing methods.
  • when i'm a teacher there will be no multiple choice questions, especially ones which are so specific that unless you read the text you won't be able to answer it. i think what it comes down to is that i value ideas far more than facts. when he asks who came up with such and such a theory and then asks what exactly that theory said i pretty much stink. when he asks me to apply what i'm supposed to be learning in class to something in my environment then i do well. i shouldn't care so much about grades, i used to not give a crap, but this year i do for some reason so now i have to read the book. read the book, not to glean ideas, but to learn specifics. oh joy.
  • i make no excuse for my not reading, but i still think mulitiple choice tests in social science courses are retarded.
  • thoreau has some crazy ideas.
  • political science isn't a science. why must so many people insist on breaking everything down to a system of equations and formulas?
  • my dad says he doesn't believe in math. he's such a postmodernist. haha.
  • it seems the more i learn about politics the more torn i become regarding the role of the state. there are compelling arguments either way - for more or less government. i'm boring most of you.
  • it was sunny outside today, but still a bit on the cold side.
  • vern has a shirt which reads "most people talk about the weather, we don't" i pointed out to him that the pictures on the shirt were of lenin, marx, and...i forget who the other guy is, but the point is that the sad fact of the matter is that people talk about the weather more than they talk about politics, society, and the like. there are people who would have skipped over all my talk about politics and when they got to that last line about the weather been happy to hear that the weather was clearing up. i guess if that's what makes you happy then you can talk with all your fucking frat. brothers about the weather and sports all day.
  • on the flip side i can talk about politics with my intellectual coffee house (not really) types and feel high and mighty that we have a firm grasp on all the problems that plague our society. i can even make grand plans regarding my eventually solving some of the world's ills. some would say that neither group matters because nothing really matters anyway. some might make a claim to a higher moral good which can derive from being a good person. the answer is that no one knows. the answer for me is that spending my paycheck on tommy jeans will make me quasi-happy for as long as the aura of the new purchase lasts - not very long. buying a meal for a forgotten human being, now named "Bum on the corner," will make two people happy, won't rely on the exploitation of thai kids who make tommy jeans, and will possibly even restore some faith in human kind for the guy whose dinner i bought.
  • if it were only possible to create feelings of brotherhood among all people and lessen their feelings of selfishness.
  • never going to happen. fuck it all.
  • i've been asked before why i voted for nader. why i am an idealist when it comes to society, why i insist that military spending should be cut. people say "well in a perfect world there wouldn't be war, but this isn't a perfect world...." i didn't have a good way of explaining myself before. i would say that i choose to 'vote my dream' or 'act as if it were possible.' dungey quoted gandhi today who said "be the change you want to see in the world." that's precisely what i have wanted to say. thank you gandhi for being more eloquent than i ever will and thank you dungey for educating me.
  • that's why i voted for change, that's why i voted for someone rather than against someone. that's why i say the military should stop waging wars and stick to defending us.
  • don't let the status quo get you down.
  • maybe i talk too much. maybe no one cares about this. maybe you'll all just goto nike.com and learn about all the great things they're doing to, er i mean, for the thai people and you won't have any worries. maybe you'll think about it for a few minutes, sit in front of the tube and go back to your receiver mode. be passive, it's far easier. ignorance is bliss.
  • knock the smile off my face.
  • updated while listening to:

    Orbital: In-Sides
    11-15-00 (22:59)
  • meat was good, the bbq sauce made it even better. i don't eat red meat very often these days. i pretty much only eat fowl and sometimes the sinful pork. a good hamburger is great on occasion though.
  • sick animation festival was funny and very gross at times. good shit overall.
  • the website server has been down lately, but it's up again so i can finally upload my updates.
  • after going out tonight i felt like i didn't have anything to do tomorrow, then i realized that i have class and work and more class and more work.
  • need more jewel cases.
  • been eating a lot of ice cream lately.
  • i'd say i'm officially sick, but it's really mild. so it could either get worse or just be mild for a while and then go away. colds are pretty stupid.
  • got someone to cover for me next friday so my thanksgiving plans haven't been foiled.
  • feeling hungry again. maybe i should make a baked potato. damn i'm full of good cheap ideas.
  • got a beatles cd on ebay, should be coming next week. so the collection begins.
  • two girls at work today said that i don't look like the type to have a girlfriend. i told them to shut the fuck up, go home, wash their face, and sleep. or something.
  • been getting more hangups lately. telemarketers are great fun. can't wait to talk to one. one called me up while jon and i were studying some political science crap. he said he was calling up law-abiding citizens asking for donations. i informed him that i wasn't a law-abiding citizen. he redirected. wouldn't you like to save the whales, firemen, (insert down trodden species here)? i gave him a hard time and eventually it was over. it was fun in the meantime.
  • i feel sorry for telemarketers, but i also hate the good ones. i think he was one of the good ones so i didn't feel too bad about giving him shit.
  • gotta get back on track with this movie bizness.
  • 11-15-00 (16:43)
  • BBQ tonight. watching spike and mike animation festival type shit afterwards. won't count as a movie, but will still set me back about 8 bucks. rip off.
  • talked to some people at work today. i found out that there are actually people on this planet who haven't heard of led zeppelin. sad but true. i was really surprised to hear about that. i was surprised the last time i conducted such a survey and discovered that most people hadn't even heard of john coltrane or miles davis. jeez i'm not sure what's wrong with the world.
  • i'm really really hungry right now.
  • you've come a long way baby
  • fatboy slim is pretty derned good.

  • 11-14-00 (01:18)

  • raiders lost tonight. got to see most of the first half before class started. damn broncos.
  • on yahoo weather it gives the temperature low as 28 on wednesday, but on the news they said the low would be about 35. what gives? that's a big difference since it could mean snow or not. bastards. if it's going to be this cold it may as well be a bit colder and snow. being 35 and raining is about as bad as it gets. i'm close to campus though so it's not a big deal.
  • might not be getting sick, as i thought.
  • tomorrow will tell. that's what i said about today. oh well.
  • my feet are always cold.
  • i'm going to just break down and buy a whole shitload of socks one of these days. maybe i should just wait until consumer day.
  • i think two years ago instead of buying presents for people i was going to just tell them how i felt about them in a heartfelt letter. didn't end up happening. did it for my mom, but no one else. getting mushy is hard with most people.
  • in other news my server still sucks butt.
  • i'm going to sleep soon.
  • "rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair
  • so i can climb up and get into your underwear"
  • political ads on windows media player streaming video. here. i suggest viewing the two nader ads. funny. great. true.

  • 11-14-00 (00:00)

  • film quiz tomorrow, will study a lot while at work. studying some right now. can't you tell?
  • my light is freaking out. i'm going to kill it. anything that freaks out must die.
  • the keys to a happy life are: care only about yourself, don't think very much (after all ignorance IS bliss), and never lose power to your anyone. with those three pieces of advice you will most certainly have a good life. morality? only those who their lives in abject poverty believe in any form of morality.
  • if anyone buys into that shit then why the hell are they my friend?
  • long day, but not too shabby overall.
  • led zeppelin I is the shit.
  • lately my server has been crappy. i guess you can always try the mirror page, link at the top.
  • i'm not even able to upload this update. very white.
  • the county is dicking me over for a few hundred bucks. i asked if there was any potential jail time for not paying the fine, the woman said no. so i guess i'll be okay for a while.

  • 11-13-00 (02:25)

  • 1 ton of toxic waste is produced by the u.s. military every minute.
  • "It is my view that the vegetarian manner of living would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind." Albert Einstein.
  • nothing to say. i'm sleeping now.

  • 11-12-00 (23:36)

  • lost some respect for moby. he said he thought nader sucked ass because he stole votes from gore. didn't know moby was retarded. oh well, i still like his music.
  • so what about the electoral college. minority rights versus democratic rule. filibuster is another good example. undemocratic? bad? something to think about.
  • there was a nader ad which used the same structure as the mastercard ads ... wedding ring $10,000, caterer $5,000, ever-lasting happiness - priceless...use mastercard. remember? well the nader ad did the same thing, only gave it a political twist. mastercard sued nader for $15 million saying that "priceless" was their trademark. nader pointed out that by that rationale they were putting a price on the word "priceless."
  • capitalism is great. right?
  • i've got about 10 people trying to download mp3s from me. kind of annoying with this gay connection.
  • waiting for the sun.
  • scott's birthday today. he's 22 and loving it i'm sure.
  • i'm not a big fan of birthdays.
  • work didn't suck too much.
  • it is as frigid as my sex life outside.
  • might rain tomorrow. who cares.
  • quiz on tuesday.
  • being political and caring is a waste of time. i hereby give up all that useless shit and will begin to devote myself to self betterment instead.
  • i don't even think my sponsor works these days so there goes that theory.
  • i should just sleep and shut the fuck up. feeling blah.

  • 11-12-00 (16:21)
  • doesn't look like i'm going to watch a movie today.
  • woke up too late to get anything good done.
  • have work from 6-11 tonight, no fun there.
  • i think i'm going to start using "bush" in the same context as "white" - both denoting capitalist, racist, ignorant tendencies.
  • 49ers whooped ass. good shit.
  • some huge news - played two rounds of frisbee golf today vern +4, chris +3...second round vern +1, chris -3. that's a new course record. vern discovered that we were playing the 8th hole wrong this whole time. we had been making it easier. so that didn't have any positive effect on my score. now vern is going to have to step it up and match or break the new record. i got pretty lucky on the last hole, i had a far par putt and sunk it for a par on the hole and sealed the -3 on the course. it was almost epic. i was doing somersaults and shit.
  • i wish i could do somersaults
  • woke up at 9am, 10am, 11am, 12pm, and then finally at 2pm today. not my idea of fun. my mouth was dry all night.
  • watched about 7 minutes of baywatch today. it's such classic bullshit. really quite fun to watch actually, in a purely mocking way. if i watched the whole show i might cry.
  • i gotsta go eat some of that leftover pizza. this pizza weighed (seriously) 5 lbs. it's stuffed and has all kinds of crazy shit in and on it. papa murphy's is the shit. i'm hungry.
  • fuck work.
  • fuck bush.
  • fuck people who don't think.
  • if you think then you're probably a better person than most so pat yourself on the back.
  • a clean shaven face is almost as good as a swift kick in the ass. i have no idea where i came up with that. it was just the first thing that came to mind.
  • had ice cream for breakfast. chris there is something wrong with you.
  • might be getting sick, hopefully it either happens or doesn't. i don't want it to linger around and then hit while i'm supposed to be on vacation. oh god that would suck ass.
  • i haven't gotten a cold in a while actually.
  • i just realized that i have almost 500 cds. i'm not kidding. i've thought for the longest time that i was at 380 something, not 480 something. jesus lord. i was reading my march update and saw that i had 387 cds in march. that means i've gotten 102 cds since march 23rd. holy fuck.

  • 11-11-000 (23:42)

  • six hours of work today, bor-ing.
  • jonique came by today with cookies, i think i was still asleep when they were here, even though my eyes were open.
  • i sleep a lot lately, usually while trying to watch a movie. kinda sucks.
  • can't find my switchblade, it'll turn up.
  • i thought more people were going to vote in this election. i thought nader was going to get 3 times the votes he got. what do i know? i had a hunch that bush would win. i could end up being wrong on all of these predictions.
  • really wish i could read hours on end without losing concentration or my mind.
  • the best thing dick nixon ever did was not demand a recount, he didn't challenge the results of the 1960 election at all; even though dead people in chicago voted for kennedy. if gore and bush can't do this for the country the way nixon did then they can suck by sac.
  • dewey defeats truman. hmmm, so you're telling me this isn't the first time the media miscalled an election? no way!
  • there's a cop in some southern state who refuses to give out tickets to people. i think this cop is the shit. if i were a cop i'd be just like him. he'll stop people, warn them, instruct them, and let them go - without a ticket.
  • "the vanity of others offends our taste only when it offends our vanity" - Nietzsche. working the in library has it's advantages. liberalist thinkers would have loved this quote.
  • it's getting cold these days.
  • monique taped the daily show when michael moore was a guest. it was classic - michael moore said that the U.N. should step in and have a group of nations come over here to re-adminster the elections, just like the u.s. does with other nations when corrupt elections are suspected. michael moore has his shit together.
  • michael is really hard for me to type. odd.
  • found the switchblade. it was near the closet and i think i know why. freak.
  • nothing tomorrow until 6pm.
  • if the weather is mild i should work on painting at least one of the rims on the bug. i want to pain them white. if that doesn't look good i'll goto black, but i think white will be nice. better than they look now. those rims are probably as old as the car. it really is amazing how much different malcolm looks these days.
  • i wish it was warmer outside.
  • i'm down with tom petty.
  • wonder how i did on that midterm.
  • put stickers up on malcolm. "personality goes a long way." - jules winfield
  • "just because you are a character doesn't mean you have character" - winston wolf
  • updated movies list.
  • "I believe anything that gets people to read is worthwhile. Enduring the snobbery of literati and being forced to read books we did not relate to is what turned so many of us away from books--in junior high, high school, or later." PoBronson.
  • jon sold the rover.
  • new orbital album out in march. yip yip.

  • 11-11-00 (00:35)

  • updated movies list.
  • saw a bit of some abc sitcom called 'two guys and a girl.' it was actually somewhat interesting because of the way it was shot. it was pretty much a silent sitcom, used music, but i didn't hear anyone talk at all. i was surprised to see a tv show like that. had some funny moments. bonus points for doing something different.

  • 11-10-00 (15:41)

  • it's interesting to me how all the laws of human nature can be broken so easily. political and social theorists almost always agree, to varying degrees, that humans are self-serving beings. greed and vanity are dominate. interactions between people are often marked by these traits. psychologists will more or less say the same thing - humans are more interested in self-preservation than anything else. you look at the course of human history and this is the overwhelming truth. there are exceptions of course. vern said last night, echoing the beatles and countless others, that 'all you need is love.' love breaks all the rules of the game. i'd step in front of a bus to save my sister, i know this. my mom would probably do the same for me. if there was a way to make this universal then the world would be a better place. a LOT better.
  • went to pg&e just now and became the guarantor for phil.
  • had to look up guarantor to make sure i spelled it right.
  • off to the post office. maybe i'll do some laundry, probably not.
  • work on the car maybe a bit.
  • watch some movies most likely.
  • get some poon, not a chance.
  • have lunch, most definitely.
  • speaking of which, my grandmother sent me some really really good looking turkey today. holy shit does it look good.
  • oh, almost forgot...my other grandmother is getting married again. some crazy shit.

  • 11-10-00 (02:36)

  • slacked on the movies tonight. got really tired.
  • not much to do tomorrow so i'll probably get some random shit done.
  • washed malcolm today, looking good.
  • while i was at work doing anything but working i read this book about the supreme court. there was a court case in 1964 which tried to challenge the constitutionality of the 1964 civil rights act. the case was called (no big surprise here) Heart of Atlanta Motel vs. U.S. it amazes me that people from the south are pretty much always wrong. hmmm. the motel wanted to be able to discriminate against people of color and felt it was their right to take away the rights of other people, i mean not hire people because of no good reason, i mean not hire people because they were born differently. uh, yea.
  • i wonder if the south will ever look at their past and say "we've always been wrong...maybe we should think more." probably not.
  • then again people like nader who really care about the country and intend to do something for it don't get elected either.
  • my midterm in dungey's class was hectic. there was so much stuff to write about and only about 70 mins to work with. he's a great teacher.
  • i want to be the kind of teacher who gives the students so much to write about that they barely have time to say it all. that way they've learned something. i won't require reading. i won't have multiple choice tests. i won't make the content of the test a mystery. honestly, why do some teachers try to hide what is/isn't going to be on their tests? what is wrong with them?
  • i'm going to go to dungey's political science 5 (problems in american government) class next quarter just for fun. i've already taken the class, but i know that he'll do a kick ass job teaching it.
  • took a long nap, late tonight. bad idea.
  • didn't go to that party. i'm incomplete.
  • my phone is wack. i need to get a real phone.
  • post office and pg&e tomorrow.
  • i was on my bike coming home from work and cruising past everyone and i re-realized (there's gotta be a better word for that) that when i'm on my bike i feel the most control in my life. i'm whizzing past everybody, swerving in and out of freshmen, actually moving, getting somewhere with my own labor, and i'm completely in control of what happens. i think confidence is the most applicable word when talking about me and my bike riding. i have no confidence when i talk with people, male or female. i'm usually not good on the phone. when i'm driving there are a lot more things that go wrong. when i'm in class i could get called on and have no clue what to say. when i'm on the bike, though, i feel like i've got more control. even if some idiot swerves right in front of me i'm able to avoid collision, under most circumstances. of course if i was in a bike race i'd get dusted and would probably fall at the start because it would be so crowded. but relative to most davis bikers...
  • the longest paragraph of this update so far was dedicated to me bragging about my biking abilities. i'm such a self-centered bastard. i should rename this page to "chris miller - master of the fucking free world"
  • the week is over, it usually ends quicker than expected. probably because the first two days are so long and shitty.
  • i had planned on taking my 24" crowbar to my old monitor after i heard bush won. ended up not doing it, but it could still be fun to do in the future. i'd feel bad about the mess.
  • office space is a decent movie with some classic characters and really funny moments. if you've seen it then you might understand that segue.
  • segue to deez nuts.
  • daft punk are good. this album reminds me of freshman year. yes, yes you do care.
  • the end of grapes of wrath is still epic. the movie was only pretty good up to that point and then it all came together. jeesh.
  • love, love is a verb. love is a do word. i'm down with massive attack, but not amazed by them.
  • if not for my midterm i'd be in santa cruz right now. as it turns out i have 11 hours of work between sat. and sun. i guess the money will be good.
  • i think that living with johnny would be fun. he's a fun guy overall and he'd keep me occupied. of course christy is pretty dope too.
  • i wonder which one of my friends is going to get married first. if i counted Doc and co. in there then i might say tristan. if i didn't count them then it gets a lot harder. i'd probably lean towards jon. who knows maybe phil will meet some chick and just go head over heels.
  • head over heels? that just doesn't make any sense to me.
  • i could care less. it's "i couldn't care less" get it right. chris you are a nit-picky bastard.
  • i'm taking up donations for my summer trip starting now. i don't know exactly what it's going to entail, but i know that i'll need some money. q-tip asks "what is paper if it doesn't have a president?" q-tip is good like that. so either you can send me a check or you can click on my sponsor like 10 times a day until summer and i'll get about 200 bucks for that. wow, now that i think about it like that my sponsor could actually be making me some real dough. 10 times a day at 10 cents is a buck a day for the next 7 months is about 210 days...210 bucks. a) i did all that in my head b) that's a lot of money.
  • speaking of money i've decided to sell my soul on ebay, the item number - if you want to bid on it - is 45979666. thanks.
  • got the old stickers off of malcolm today. going to put on three new ones tomorrow - on the windows of course. led zeppelin, ratm, and nirvana. kurt cobain was pretty much a genius he needed some paxil, but he was a genius.
  • we talked about hegemony in the popular culture class today. we talked about how hegemony sets the standards in society, thoughts, ideals, etc. nothing really new. what was interesting was that one theorist claimed that bob marley would have been part of the structure because, although he preached peace and was anti-capitalism, he was making money for Island records. thus it was deduced by many that someone of the counter-culture cannot be autonomous - they're always going to be part of the ruling class, in a way. of course one girl in my group brought this up and (while looking at my rage against the machine shirt) said that rage against the machine was a good example of this. she also dubbed them "fuel the machine." what a bitch. so i kindly pulled my maglight out of my backpack and beat her over the head with it. er, rather, i likened it to what malcolm x said - you see a group of people in a car, they're going the opposite direction that you need and want to go, but in order to get to that place you need to get in the car. so you get in the car and try to give them directions. does getting in the car mean that you are supporting where they are going? i think not. listen, the civil rights movement of the 1960s had to fight against the same system that had court decisions which said "separate is equal." in order to change that system they had to go to the same supreme court system (although not the same supreme court) and get that precedent overturned - brown vs. board - separate is inherently unequal, duh. so if rage against the machine or radiohead or public enemy need to go through the music industry to get the word out that's fine by me. none of those bands are preaching one thing and practicing another. none of those bands are living it large on an island in the caribbean. public enemy has even tried to release their music online in an attempt to subvert the music industry's stranglehold. contracts, though, are a bitch.
  • i hate to say it, but life is about making compromises on occasion. there are some things i won't compromise. i think you get the points i was trying to make a) the girl was wrong wrong wrong b) the theorist who concocted that pile of shit was retarded c) i'm always right so listen to me.
  • i'm so full of myself of course i mean it only in jest. jest so you know. har har.
  • pixies - where is my mind?
  • need to watch a few movies tomorrow.
  • i've got to figure out a way to test my students' ability to think. essays are good, i also like the idea of oral tests. anytime i say oral it just sounds so wrong in the same sense that premarital sex is wrong - that is that's it's not really wrong.
  • i'll have to work out the logistics later i suppose.
  • i have real problems focusing. i try to read sometimes and i honestly can't get through a paragraph without thinking about something else. sometimes i'll be so occupied with trying to concentrate that i won't retain anything that i've read. i'll get all focused and ready to bear down on the books and i'll start reading all focused like and a couple sentences through i'll think to myself "hey you're actually focusing and reading. life is weird. fucking niners. that chick was hot, but she's probably stupid. look you're studying, way to go. wait what did you just read. fuck. fuck this world. what a tard. you need to take some drugs or something. this book is just dumb anyway. go out and live your life rather than studying. now you're just rationalizing it. okay read that over again. no don't waste your time, just make the next paragraph count. chris you don't even read so why start now? how much overdraft protection do i have these days? i hope that rent check didn't bounce. damn she's cool. you're reading right? okay maybe you should just skim. hmmm, this guy makes some good points about war. best war film ever? gotta be full metal jacket. paths of glory was great too though. is there a distinction between war films and anti-war films? well maybe it would be saving private ryan, that wasn't really an anti-war film, more of a look at war rather than a take on war. why can't you speak as well as you think? unarticulate, stuttering bastard. don't be such an ass to yourself. friends should be shrinks not vise versa. fucking bush. gore's no bonus either. i don't like this book maybe i'll read something from my sociology class. maybe i would if i had the book. i don't want to get on my bike and go to the library now. argh. maybe i'll just go online and see what the deal is there. what a cop out. vern's vespa is smelling the house up i think these gas fumes are going to kill me. you're a paranoid bastard."
  • that was the first time i've ever really done anything like a stream of consciousness, that was fun and very very accurate to most of my reading experiences. i hope now you understand more fully what it's like to be chris - a deranged, demented, disturbed, young man. reminds me of the david bowie song "i'm deranged." it's on the lost highway soundtrack. you best recognize.
  • this update has been far longer than expected. those are always the best though i suppose.
  • i'll try never to feel good about my abilities again because i know that bragging is bad, antisocial, despicable behavior which should be systematically wiped out through the use of social exclusion.
  • sleep shall be good for us all. one day i'll look back at this updated and just shake my head, probably laugh a little, then i'll...i was going to say something but that would be seriously over the top and i value self-perservation more than the cheap laughs i'm sure it would get. hobbes and locke win again. vanity controls. ahhh. fuck em. i was going to say this: "one day i'll look back at this updated and just shake my head, probably laugh a little, then i'll goto the bathroom and wank it." not sure why i was going to say (said) that. mainly because the sentence felt like it was building towards something funny but i couldn't come (har har) up with anything else...as the old adage goes - when all else fails talk about masturbation. i just had a crazy case of deja vu. guess i overcame vanity this time, they're still probably right though.

  • my reaction to the news that bush won. this, of course, was later retracted.
    11-09-00 (01:31)
  • updated cdlist.
  • i hope i do well on the midterm tomorrow. there's so much shit we need to talk about. dungey is a great teacher.
  • "Patrick Ewing has offered to donate one of his kidneys to Alonzo Mourning if the ailing Miami Heat center ever needs a transplant. "You know I will always be there for him," Ewing said Tuesday after a shootaround in Miami. "If my kidney matches, I'll be happy to donate one. If it comes down to that. He knows that." Mourning has a common but serious kidney disease that is forcing him to miss this season. It is not yet known whether he will need a kidney transplant. Ewing and Mourning both played at Georgetown and remain close friends despite their fierce NBA battles. They work out together during the offseason, and Ewing is the godfather to Mourning's newborn daughter, Myka Sydney. They spoke Monday when Ewing arrived in Miami and planned to spend time together Tuesday night at Mourning's home. Ewing said he and Mourning have not approached doctors. "
  • now that's pretty fucking cool. i had always thought they were big time rivals.
  • an interesting thought - inequalities within people are only able to truly be exploited because of the social and political contracts we all agree to. for this reason people like bill gates are able to be so much more powerful than you and me. since this is the case wouldn't it stand to reason that this same social contract should provide for some counter-measures to combat inequality? the only reason the republicrats are so rich is because we have all entered into an agreement to coexist under the same set of rules and have, for the most part, upheld our end of the bargin. of course this is a normative question, but i still feel that because the social contract allows some people to get ahead while others fall behind, it should also have some sort of welfare function. we are all equal (both in the Hobbesian sense that we are all equally vulnerable to a violent death and in the Lockean sense that we all have an equal right to rule) thus the outcome of any social contract we enter should not make that natural equality non-existent, yet it oviously has.
  • i doubt i articulated myself well enough, it's 0230 so i should sleep. ask me about it later if you care or are lost by my ramblings.

  • 11-09-00 (00:21)

  • updated movies list.
  • studied for the midterm tomorrow. we shall see about that bizness.
  • forecast calls for rain. fuck.
  • measure O passed in davis, good news. i'm glad people up here seem to value the environment a bit.
  • prop. 36 passed, good news. prop. 38 failed, good news.
  • bush/gore won, bad news. nader didn't get 5%, horrible news.
  • no one is mentioning this, not sure why - GORE stole votes from NADER, not vise versa. jesus christ.
  • beastie boys delayed even more now. fuck that shit.
  • seems like the most dangerous thing in davis is being a professor. last year two profs. died in a boating accident. this year one was on that singapore plane crash, he survived. crazy shit.
  • toyota has a new car (prius, i think) which looks like a decent car for the future. small, economical, more environmentally friendly. good shit.

  • 11-08-00 (02:13)

  • updated movies list.
  • i'll never forget this night.
  • the whole election thing is way out of hand.
  • the electoral college really is dumb. bush can die.
  • i was talking with vern and company during the break in film class today and the teacher (pretty darn cool guy) comes up and stand around listening to us talk about the election. i said something about FL possibly going to Bush, not Gore - as the media had called it. the teacher said "ah fuck." it was so great.
  • at the end of the class he gave us the heads up that bush looked to be winning the election. i got pretty depressed.
  • now it's all stupid close and shit. nader is going to get shit for it too. i just know it. people are retarded.
  • nader got a lot fewer votes than i thought. gore stole from nader, not the other way around - get it straight.

  • 11-07-00 (23:14)

  • Choosing between the lesser of two evils means that you are still choosing evil - Jerry Garcia
  • fuck bush.
  • fuck my server.
  • fuck this world.
  • fuck my lack of any semblance of self-esteem.

  • 11-06-00 (22:12)

  • got a B on my film quiz. i think most people did better than that so maybe i should read the book next time.
  • my sociology class is the worst so far which is unexpected. i should read the book for tomorrow's quiz. his quizzes are really retarded.
  • scanned the pictures of malcolm (old and new) while on campus today. also got a few pics of vern, jon and i on jesus.
  • i think i'm tired of getting bad grades so i'm going to at least start to make a little effort from now on.
  • today was good overall. for some reason getting a B on my film quiz kinda bummed me out, that's unusual. i'm unusual.
  • did some prop. research while at work so i have that pretty much figured out. going to wake up early and get that done. it's so hard being a citizen.
  • those scanned pics are up now.
  • got the new bs2000 single, different, but good.
  • got all the original tracks which rage against the machine decided to cover. now i will know what the original sounds like before i hear their take on it. that's cool i guess.
  • the server is being really stupid so i'm not sure i can upload anything tonight.
  • "Member Web Site Servers - Some member services may be experiencing difficulties"
  • vote tomorrow or i won't be your friend.

  • 11-06-00 (02:14)

  • updated movies list.
  • two small items to take care of by tomorrow morning.
  • i haven't been saying gay very often lately. i think that's overall a good thing. i'll need to come up with some as versatile.
  • white is good to use in certain situations, but not as often as gay.
  • i've been saying 'wack' more often.
  • should have seen the SNL show tonight. and the simpsons premiere. heard the x-files shindig wasn't anything special. no surprise there. overall i should just watch tv more, i think it would help to be more in tune with my peers. har har.
  • my back needs cracking. i used to be good at it. i also used to get sore afterwards. i used to run. i used to care about money. i used to watch the wwf. i used to have shit for brains. i even used to think the beastie boys weren't very good. i used to want to die for my country. i used to think that the death penalty was a good answer. i used to think that "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" as snoop dogg said. i used to get really worried about stupid shit. i used to despise rap, then i discovered its beauty. i used to think that the fifth was his best symphony, now i know that the ninth is beethoven's best. i used to take my parents for granted. i used to think that nothing really mattered in the long run, now i know it's true, but for this very reason i should try to be a good person while i'm here. i used to think that my vote didn't matter, i still do and that's why i'm going to vote my conscience. i used to think that this update was going to be short and sweet so i could move on to my papers.
  • one paper for film class, the other for my war class. not too psyched about either.
  • played frisbee golf again today. vern was +1, i was even. vern was -2 with the last two holes to go, fell apart big time. we've birdied six out of the nine holes on the course, just never all in the same game. the moral of the story is - we have the potential to go -6, but the best score so far has been vern's -2. enough dork talk for now.
  • speaking of dorks...jon came over today. jon isn't really a dork, he's down. at any rate he came over and we laid out the ground work for this great paper i'm working on this very second. we went out to lyon's for some sundaes and various sundries of the sweets variety. i had jon and vern's scraps. the trickle down theory works only on the micro level, i've concluded.
  • i think if i got a girlfriend i wouldn't screw it up this time.
  • told this girl at work today (she's the sorority type) that she should stay away from guys until graduate school. i told her about the time when one guy broke my heart and how bad he made me feel. i wonder if she actually thinks i'm gay now. ho hum.
  • listening to westbam for the first time in a while. it's pretty much my all-nighter CD. brings back memories of the mountain dew days back in late 99 and early 2000. i forgot which quarter it was but i had about 40 pages of writing due in one week. ahhh, nothing quite like screwing yourself over.
  • speaking of which i'm going to goto the bathroom real quick.
  • so that was a lame joke, but the opportunity came so i had to try and pull it off.
  • can you imagine it being pulled off? ouch.
  • right, so now i really should just get to work.
  • i'm severely disturbed and i don't think anyone really understood any of that. ho hum.

  • 11-05-00 (01:28)

  • rage against the machine is coming out with their covers album december 5th. good shit. even covered epmd, wow.
  • MC5, The Stooges, EPMD, Bob Dylan, Minor Threat, The Rolling Stones, Afrika Bambaataa, Devo, Volume 10, Erik B and Rakim, Cypress Hill. In keeping with the spirit and concept of the Renegades album, a newly remixed, alternate version of Bruce Springsteen’s “The Ghost of Tom Joad” (previously only available as a single along with Rage’s 1997 home video) was also included.
  • plan on getting a lot done tomorrow.
  • looks like i won't be going to santa cruz this weekend unless i go early friday. thursday i have a midterm i forgot about (mainly because he moved the date from tuesday to thursday).
  • need to find out about all the propositions and local candidates tomorrow.
  • i should goto sleep now.

  • 11-04-00 (23:29)

  • updated movies list.
  • played two rounds of frisbee golf today - +3 on the first round (vern got -2), -1 on the second (vern got +5).
  • did some laundry.
  • phil doesn't think my life is exciting so i'm going to change the way i live from now on.
  • my computer's clock is having issues...loses time pretty quickly.

  • 11-04-00 (02:31)

  • my hands are starting to get callous. because of pull ups, nothing more.
  • luke has started updating his page again. about time. the updates aren't as lively as they once were. too bad.
  • cut my hair tonight, thanks largely to jon. put the sun-in crap up in it and i think it's a little lighter.
  • i need my radiohead phone. i think my mom has it somewhere. cordless phones can be pretty dumb.
  • equality is impossible. fuck. still gotta try i suppose.
  • was going to give blood today, but i was kinda tired and figured that it wasn't such a good idea for that reason. i have to do it one of these days.
  • walk the walk motherfucker.
  • my candle is in poor shape. one of the three wicks is way longer than the others. the sides are all out of wack too. some sculpting is necessary. lighter fluid is the shit.
  • i saw a shrink for about 20 of my 21 years, well almost, and i think i would have been as well (or better) off if someone had just introduced me to some good music/movies and given me a big ass candle to light on fire.
  • gotta sleep. maybe i'll try to mess with the car tomorrow. maybe i'll adjust the valves or something, that shouldn't be too troublesome.
  • LFO sucks ass.

  • 11-03-00 (19:55)

  • during the time that thomas jefferson was having an affair with one of his slaves his use of the word "mulatto" when describing soil conditions increased twelve-fold. i wonder if there are any such trends in my journal.
  • vern out for the night, maybe he'll get some more action.
  • going to work on jon's car with him in about 10 minutes, see if we can't get that motha running smooth.
  • tried working on malcolm today (exterior stuff) to no real end. basically wasted my time and got frustrated. it's amazing how many things can go wrong when working with a car.
  • thought too much today about the world being shitty.
  • talked to a coupla co-workers about politics, think i opened some doors.
  • watched about 5 minutes of the simpsons with really bad reception.
  • deep purple are pretty damned rockin. ian paice on the drums, yes. turned the subwoofer on and noticed some bass i never knew was there before. very cool.
  • should watch a movie tonight. i'm thinking "the wall."

  • 11-3-00 (04:10)

  • i do all this writing for you, the paying audience...
  • "emotion or reason, now which one do you obey?" - the chick from spooks. note to self: gotta know her name because she's going to be big one day.
  • fear is still your only god. how much of what you haven't done has come as a result of fear in some form?
  • i'm a lot like vern in some ways. yesterday he said eating made him horny. i'm eating this great sandwich, listening to some music, and i'm getting horny. eating can really turn me on. i'm such a primordial freak sometimes. ain't it great?
  • 30 minutes and a sandwich and i've already forgotten about the revolution. ha, no wonder this world sucks such big white capitalist dick.

  • 11-3-00 (03:32)

  • things i've seen is such a great great song. well layered and has harmony, something lots of hip-hop these days neglects.
  • i'm hungry right now. staying awake this late isn't a good idea because i get really hungry in the morning.
  • another 107 hits this week. crazy shit.
  • guess no one like my last poll. i must admit it was pretty retarded. here be the new one.
  • moby is making me sad right now. this world is so beyond fucked up yet we all continue living; few of us try to make changes. i've got to get my shit together and start either a) killing people OR b) making people think.
  • i'm going to go make a sandwich, go to sleep, get really really smart overnight and then do it.
  • we really do need to reevaluate the way we think. seriously question reality, authority, rationality and reason, our values, everything. "you will not be able to stay home, brother. you will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out. you will not be able to lose yourself on scag and skip out for beer during commercials because the revolution will not be televised." it's pretty cool what someone can say in six words.
  • i'm pretty impatient when it comes to lots of things.
  • i asked vern what the fuck was wrong with the idiots who would call some of the worst movies ever "a wild and entertaining ride" and the like...so here are some criticisms of my webpage, from vern. pretty classic stuff.

  • "Chris Miller is the voice of the underground Generation Y"
    --Village Shout

    "A rapturous and entertaining read"
    --Los Angeles Voice

    "Mr. Miller has a wit to equal Wilde"
    --The Daily American Reader

    (Chris is) "A daring and visionary character, full of grace and wisdom. Chris Miller's Journal is the sign of the times."
    --The Northern Californian

    "Chris Miller is the resonating anti-hero of Generation D--and the "D" doesn't stand for digital..."
    --Rex Reefer of the Town Mirror

    "Audacious. A neat voice. Compelling."
    --Peter Trailblazer of the Mid Town Sentinel

    11-3-00 (00:02)

  • just had a massive chat session with four people at the same time, but all separately. craziness.
  • getting a lot better at pull-ups these days. i want to get up to 20 before the end of the year. that would cool.
  • updated movies list.

  • 11-2-00 (22:00)

  • here's some encouraging news...20 guys decided to rape a 13 year old mentally disabled girl the other day. they did this for 12 hours. this happened in georgia. so there is something very very wrong with the state of the world these days and it makes me fucking sick. i'm outraged, but here i sit. i'm going to have to come up with something to do other than sit.
  • there's no easy way to segue from that...
  • it seems that the more 'civilized' we get the more effectively we managed to use our newly found leisure time to do more work. multi-tasking is more and more prevalent in our everyday life. i think that this is a disease. i see people everywhere on cell phones taking care of business while they're walking along the street, they've got their notepads out trying to juggle everything at the same time they are trying to catch the bus. wack shit. wack white shit if you ask me.
  • why do people collect the new quarters? i ask because i've got them on my desk like i have some real interest in them. i need to not collect them.
  • there are certain guidelines in life. some are ubiquitous and universal, others aren't. i can't come up with any great examples. uh, you marry the person you love, you save to try and buy a house, a steady job is better than lots of little jobs, after high school you try to get into college...those are all pretty crappy examples, but you get the point, yes? i think that you have to make your own rules. now this is obvious to you because you're probably an independent thinker, but there are so many people who take these guidelines as the way to live one's life.
  • all i'm trying to say is that people need to make rules for themselves and not accept those manufactured by the bourgeoisie or whoever you think feeds us all this shit in pop culture.
  • www.billionairesforbushorgore.com
  • i can't wait until i'm a teacher and there is some salient issue in an election. maybe a school bond measure or the like. i want to incite the students to protest and stuff. some of our school had a walkout because of the prop. 187 fiasco.
  • i think i'm different from most people, including my friends in that i'd rather stay at home and listen to music, watch a movie, or what not instead of going to a party. it's too bad, wish i had more fun at parties. maybe not. nevermind i guess i'm fine being who i am.
  • well today the world grieved over the loss of jesus. he was a good jesus while he was around. a moment of silence for a fallen warrior.
  • modernism dictates complete rationalism. what a crock. love isn't rational at all. being rational is very over-rated sometimes. according to people like hobbes everyone is a rational self-actor. so here's the world according to hobbes. joe walks down the street and stops jen to ask her for directions to the subway station. jen points north and says it's up that way, about two blocks past the post office (despite it being in the opposite direction). jen then says hey while you're going that way would you mind dropping this letter off at the post office. joe says sure no problem. sounds like jen is a bitch. at any rate joe walks towards the post office, but before he gets there he opens up the letter in the hope that there is some money inside. finding that there isn't he dumps the letter in the trash and continues towards the subway station.
  • looks like i'm doing fantasy basketball this year again. it's a good way to stay informed and it gives me something to do in my spare time.
  • work again for nicole at work - 2-4pm.
  • i wanted to get a good picture of my jesus and then superimpose him on a cross, but i don't have any pictures scanned and it probably wouldn't come out too well. it was an idea.
  • winamp finally came out with a new version. what losers.
  • jim morrison is pretty dope in my book.
  • thursdays are pretty sweet. they're long enough to feel like i've earned a rest. for whatever reason i never realize it until late in the day that thursday is the end of the week for me.
  • we talked about hyper-realism in class today. when people consider taco bell as being mexican food when really it's just a sad imitation...sounds simple enough, but it sadly carries over to other things for a lot of people. "the real world" on mtv isn't the real world, but people take it for face value a lot of the time. so what makes a real experience? seeing death and carnage on tv isn't the same as being there, everyone knows that. i think that gandhi says something about the study of life experiences and how that creates reality, not what you see on tv or what you think such and such is about. kind of like something doesn't really become real until you have experienced it. i believe in this to a large degree. that's why i went hitchhiking and why i want to do it again. it's also why i want to have some shitty jobs next year.
  • 11-02-00 (02:13)

  • was looking over some old updates. may sucked ass in a lot of ways.
  • here was a poll from the history channel website:
  • Which African American do you most admire?
  • Results:
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. 40.8
  • Muhammad Ali 9.5
  • Oprah Winfrey 8.2
  • Colin Powell 41.4
  • that is so amazingly sad. colin powell? i don't know much about him, but a) his job was to kill people efficiently and b) there is no way in fucking godfuckinghell that he's more admirable than MLK. fuck.
  • dumb people bother me.
  • oprah is a funny one. i honestly think that she does a lot of good things, esp. relative to her peers. at the same time she's quite commercial in her delivery...she seems to know exactly how to get the ratings and does what she needs to do to get em. i guess this would make her a model citizen - capitalist entrepreneur who is also a kind hearted philanthropist. still she does come up with some gag worthy material. ho hum, no real complaints.
  • i'm no longer bitter because i've decided no to be.
  • a tribe called quest are pretty great.
  • black sabbath are also great.
  • led zeppelin are the best
  • i have all the doors albums. just realized this today. kinda sad because that means they won't really move up too much in the ratings. though they're about as high as it gets.
  • meddle is the next pink floyd album i'm going to get.
  • "i can't pay no doctor bills, but whitey's on the moon"
  • dj shadow needs to come out with another album, he's epic.
  • god should take a large dump on this world with the way we treat each other.
  • real people are few and far between.
  • SACRAMENTO - The Green Party in California is, by far, the fastest growing

  • party in the state - and in Sacramento and Yolo counties - according to the
    latest figures released from the Secretary of State's office.

    Since the first of the year, Green Party members have increased a whopping
    41.2 percent in the state to about 140,000. In the past month alone, state
    Green registration jumped more than 14 percent

    In Sacramento County, Green Party registration as of Oct. 10 is at 5,046,
    13.7 percent more than registered on Sept. 10, and 40.2 percent higher than
    a year ago when just 3,598 Greens were registered.

    Yolo County voter registration figures reflect a 24 percent increase in
    Green Party members just since September - up from 1,398 to 1,736
    registered.

    By comparison, across the state, the Natural Law and Reform parties have
    shrinking state numbers - their totals are less than they were a year ago,
    and Democrat and Republication voter figures are stagnant with increases of
    just 2.8 percent and 4.7 percent, respectively, since the first of the year.

    The second fastest growing "affiliation" is Decline to State, up 17.9
    percent from Jan. 1, 2000, with 2.2 million voters.

  • oh yea. jesus was stolen today. so no more easy trips across town and the like.
  • there was a time when i would be our right now looking for some revenge. i was no better than them. i'm trying.
  • can't wait to break open the gandhi autobiography.
  • been thinking about this for a while, now i will act upon it...i'm going to start coming up with some ideas for classroom activities. writing congressmen, field trips, movies for extra credit, etc.
  • my last playboy came today. i think i'll not renew the subscription. the pictures are just a tease and the interviews aren't worth the money, though they are very good. the ben still one was good. john malkovich was another good one. oh, and bob costas. drew barrymore this month. oh yea, chyna didn't help their cause any.
  • i think i'm getting sports illustrated these days. free magazines are good.
  • i should get some sleep soon.
  • tupac, i love you.
  • oh, good news. i've finally found the lowest point in music history...the worst song, ever. apparently it was quite the rage back a while ago. it's called "summer girls" and it's by this 'band' LFO. you must hear it. there really isn't any competition for worst song ever, this is it. they, for good measure to really seal the deal, even rip off a beastie boys lyric and use it - twice. every piece of music i hear from this day forth will be that much better because i have heard this song.
  • in other music news...i was at work today and this older woman checked out a george winston cd, i told her that my mom used to always listen to him and that he's good. i think she was impressed to hear that a youngster such as myself knew who george winston was.
  • i guess this update is long enough to keep you busy. johnny said that it's been hard to keep up lately. maybe november will a big month.
  • i think it will.

  • 11-01-00 (17:16)

  • "By the age of 22, about 90 percent of every group has had sex" - the groups mentioned included men and women of different ethnicities ...so that means that 90 of all 22 year old Americans have gotten in the sack. that's pretty amazing in some ways, in others it's pretty much expected. sex is natural, but you have all those religious crazies, boring and dumb people, unattractive people, social rejects, and yet only 10 percent of the population goes to the age of 22 without sex.
  • saw a pretty gnarly bike crash today, it sucked. it was this one girl riding along all by herself...she hit a parked bike and went flying head first onto the pavement. these two guys went over there to help her up and just a couple seconds after that about 15 yards away there was a really loud pop, like an M-80 or something. it was very very strange. couldn't tell where the bang came from, maybe she was planning a drive by, but didn't quite get away. it was odd.
  • i always think i have work until 6pm on wednesdays. a nice relief to discover otherwise.
  • looks like my scheduling will work out okay. i'm going to have a class on friday though, kinda wack. at least it's only one class, but it's also at 10am, it has to be done. got a Dungey class lined up too, just for fun.
  • spring quarter i'll take 2 sociology classes a science class of some sort and possibly linguistics. by then i'll have full-fledged senioritis, i'm sure.
  • led zeppelin are good, on occasion.
  • going to dinner at jon's tonight, that's a 7pm. hopefully i have some time for a movie afterwards.
  • no rain today. reminds me of that blind melon song - no rain. wonder where i come up with these strange connections. completely illogical.
  • i wish tupac was still alive.
  • archives page updated.
  • maybe a trip to santa cruz in the future. turns out that it's not very expensive...maybe 25 bucks round trip. it takes a while, but my time doesn't mean that much anyway.
  • can't wait till thanksgiving break.

  • 11-01-00 (01:35)

  • there was a teaser on tv tonight about a feature on the news called "find out if you are underpaid." i'd say that if you're in the labor market you're underpaid, if you're a teacher you're underpaid, if you're an at home mother or father you're underpaid.
  • the latest info i've heard is that the top 1% of the wealthiest in the country own 60% of the total wealth. so if you're not in the top, say, 10% you're probably underpaid relative to them.
  • had some great discussion in Dungey's class today. that guy kicks ass in so many ways. he's going to be teaching Political Science 5 next quarter (problems in american government), this is great because i know he'll make it such an awesome class and because he was relegated to upper division courses only. apparently, though, the department needed someone pretty badly. the department seems to be a little scared by him because he throws chalk at students once in a while and cusses a lot.
  • today someone made a really good point about what we were discussing and Dungey, in a way only he can, stumbled over what to say "you're so ri...god, that's exactly...i mean, yes..." then he threw the chalk. it was great.
  • finished off CCR today. finishing up velvet underground. half way done with jimi. led zeppelin - still a long way to go. need to touch on some of that black sabbath and police tomorrow. i have less "classic rock" than i had thought.
  • it's november now. will transfer october updates in a couple days.
  • got to borrow 'meddle' - pink floyd album from marina's work. it really rocks. it's on the list, the long list, of cds to purchase.
  • october 22, 1969 - release date of led zeppelin II. in the past 31 years they're haven't been many albums that great, then again in the previous 31 years there weren't that many either, in rock that is.
  • haven't listened to the radio (other than KDVS) in a few months, at least.
  • i should sleep now.
  • 10-31-00 (22:30)

  • pretty tired lately.
  • halloween is here. i guess there are lots of parties going on right now.
  • bought some incense the other day. my room smells like india now. better than the way the house smelled before. drastic times call for drastic measures. the smell of our kitchen was in drastic need of repair.
  • speaking of india, i got the gandhi autobiography today. need to work on the MLK one first though.
  • gotta register for classes tomorrow...most of the classes i want to take are at 10am. there's not a chance i'm waking up that early during the winter. going to try and take linguistics over again and not get a D this time. also want to take two sociology classes...wanted to take a class on gender, but i don't know if that's going to happen because it's too early. think i'll take one on family instead. then i might take one on social deviance since i'd like to learn as much about myself as possible before i get into the real world. hmmm, then there's the second half of the film class. so that's 16 units. i'd still have 8 units left for my minor and 4 units to satisfy a GE and i think that would be enough for graduation.
  • after graduation i'll probably live in davis, go from job to job never attaining any real level of security. go in and out of relationships, finally find someone i can settle with. get divorced and die at 50 because of a heart problem.
  • or i could graduate, go into debt a little, go across the country and live out of my car for a couple months. come back to davis live with johnny and christy, get a bunch of shitty jobs and gain some more perspective in life. all the while spending a few hours a week watching classrooms at the high school level, learning how to be a teacher. afterwards i will attend some college where i can get accreditation in a year. by the time i graduate from there i'll be 24 and i'll say to myself "what now?" 24 is kinda young to start teaching so maybe i'll become a substitute which is about the most lame shit ever, so i won't do that. i'll tap into the digital economy, become independently wealthy and drop all ideas of any noble profession. scratch that. i'll get a moderately decent job for a year and then start looking for some real teaching opportunities. i'll find a decent school, teach there a couple years and then move to another school, finally - two schools later - i will settle down at about 32 and teach until i'm 60 something or can't yell anymore.
  • the thing i look forward to most as a teacher is being disciplined by the principals. i can't wait till the day when the principal comes up to me after school one day and says "chris you've got to cut down on the amount of cussing that comes out of this room, it's not an appropriate learning environment." ... "you know what isn't a proper learning environment, is the fucking ideological monopoly in this society which insisted on infiltrating the classroom with antiquated curriculum and no diversity of ideas..."
  • i'd never be good in a discipline position (cop, security guard, etc.) i just don't care too much about being picky about lots of stupid laws. i'd pretty much make my own laws...case in point...at the library we're not allowed to check books out to people unless they have their student ID card. of course all the other people who work there are tight asses about it, not quite sure why..."it's the policy they say." if the person has their ID number and something that proves they are who they say they are then i have no problem checking it out to them. it just means i have to get their card number which takes an extra step or two. i also clear fines for people if they come to me with a late book and a decent excuse. i know what it's like being a poor student so i don't have a problem with screwing over the university a little. i think this would carry over to any other job i might have. i wasn't very good at disciplining the kids at the shelter either. i provided boundaries for them, because they all came from backgrounds which required that, but i let them get away with stuff because life is too short to not let a kid get more than 30 minutes on the nintendo. gimme a break. nintendo is all this kid has and some of the staff would get all stiff about it.
  • lighten up. pick your battles.
  • i've been wearing the same jeans for a couple weeks. paying for laundry bites ass.
  • finally cancelled call waiting. what a waste of money. i never talk on the phone and i certainly won't have two people wanting to call me at the same time.
  • i always get weird messages on my answering machine. today some girl called up and was talking to her friends in the background, then said "hello? hello?" maybe i should be more explicit on my outgoing message..."this is chris miller, this is the phone number, this is not a live person, when you hear the beep that would be your cue to leave a message with some of the following information: your name, your number, a good time to call back, what you're calling about, and the answer to the question 'who let the dogs out.'"
  • i think conan has a good guest on tonight, will check now. just found out...at the drive-in is the musical guest...i've heard they're good live. they were going to open for the beastie boys and rage when that whole thing was going to happen.

  • 10-31-00 (01:29)

  • "i know that the hypnotized never lie" - the who
  • european son is a very good velvet underground song.
  • "gore and bush make me want to ralph"

  • 10-30-00 (21:36)

  • you can kill a revolutionary, but you can't kill a revolution.
  • really tired today. skipped the last half of film class, i was sleepy as hell.
  • hell is very sleepy for those not in the know.
  • on my way home i was on my bike crossing the street and riding without my hands on the handlebars when this renegade car which seemed not to see the red light went right through the intersection. i could have died, instead i avoided the car, shook my head and rode on. death is funny.
  • rolling stones be playing now.
  • as for the claim that rage is the best four instrument band ever...they entertain me the most, but i think nirvana is better and if i'm not mistaken jimi hendrix could also be in the running and of course he's done more for music than rage. elite company nonetheless, in my opinion...
  • in other biking news...today was a sad day i got dusted by two different bikers while on my way to campus. that's three this year. which is one more than the past three years combined. i'm becoming an old out of shape man.
  • "lose your dreams and you'll lose your mind" - the rolling stones

  • 10-30-00 (10:35)

  • led zeppelin: i love you.
  • got a whopping 107 hits last week, that's pretty crazy shit.
  • got mad shit to do today, gonna be a long one.
  • starting out the day with a smile and some really loud music is pretty much the only way to go from now on.

  • 10-30-00 (01:54)

  • the mokees, though mocked usually, are alright in my book.
  • some guy made a song whose lyrics contained the information required to rip a dvd and effectively pirate it. he then uploaded it to mp3.com's site. once 'they' found out about it 'they' got him in all kinds of trouble. (first amendment, *cough*). someone writes a book describing how to build a bomb, terrorized neighbors, phreak phone lines, etc (anarchist cookbook) and it's a library staple. but someone tells people how to save money by making copies of their friends' dvds and there's a big hullabaloo over it all. money is retarded. i hereby denounce the worth of money.
  • private property is lame. i guess in some ways locke was progressive because he said people are entitled to private property, but only that which they made with their own hands and labor.
  • i can imagine being a youngster in january 1967 listening to the debut album by the doors and being pretty blown away. then flipping over the lp and being blown away even more by light my fire and back door man (great bass line) and finally being totally flabbergasted by "the end." jim morrison just going off...man i wish i had lived in the sixties so i could have experience shit like that first hand.
  • listened to bob dylan today too.
  • i need to get some beatles albums when i have some dead presidents.
  • ten years after is in the player now...great band.
  • so i have this small 1-2 pager which is due tomorrow. gag.
  • tuesday is halloween. yay. um, right.
  • kinda sad that halloween used to be such a thrill and now it ain't shit.
  • some idiot on the beastie boys NG was talking about a time when music and politics weren't connected. hmmm, what a nim(rod). what a (re)tard. what a fool to boot. a nincompoop.
  • gotta get to this paper or i will surely perish from this earth.
  • "The loss of strength gradient and its intellectual descendants focus on the obstacles posed by geographic distance for military force projection." - this i a very inviting way to start a subchapter. what a crock. write in fucking english. or maybe i should be mad at the teacher who assigned us a book which obviously requires more than just a basic understanding of war. good lord. i'm so glad that i'm not committed to reading everything they assign me. i might stress out otherwise.
  • stress is lame.
  • i just want to walk the earth and do good. like the guys in "easy rider" only without the harleys, the drugs, and the last scene - which was, by the way, very powerful.
  • i gotta do this damn paper thing. i gotta wake up in 6.5 hours and have my 10 hour day.
  • i could just pack up everything, take the bug and start a new life in reno. i really could just do that. or could i?
  • fuck it, i gotta do this paper no matter which way i look at it.
  • baba o'riley is such an epic song. goddamn.
  • i think that rage against the machine is the best strictly four instrument band (bass, guitar, vocals, percussion) ever. led zeppelin, beatles, pretty much anyone in contention that i can think of has used more than that. i guess you gotta give them props for that, huh? nirvana is really the only competition and i'm not 100% sure that nirvana never used another instrument. black sabbath did some experimental stuff in the later years, besides they had the harmonica in there which would be number five.
  • soup to nuts 'there's something about mary' is the funniest movie of this generation. i must say, though, that planes trains and automobiles should get its due.
  • quickly, then i'll begin: arafat, barak, listen up...if you want the capital to be yours you can just make a trip over here and take over davis or something. i won't cause a stir, in fact no one will. just stop killing five year olds on their way to get a drink of water and shit. well, i haven't actually heard of five year olds on their way to get water being killed, but you get the point.
  • i wish every country in the world would declare neutrality and give back land to those who had it first...i'd be willing to go back to hell where i (and my white brothers) came from if it meant native americans and bison would be alive again. no, not all white people are devils, but...hyperbole for the sake of a) making a point b) procrastination.
  • "meet the old boss, same as the old boss...." - we won't get fooled again - The Who

  • 10-29-00 (23:45)

  • too many people value their lives too highly. i'm willing to gamble with it. i don't mean this in the literal sense like i'm going to go out and drive 90 in a residential neighborhood. i'm talking about other risks. what i'm getting at is that you don't have to live by the perscribed formula, there are other, more risky and fulfilling, ways to go about it.
  • in an odd sense i'm looking forward to a complete failure within the first half of my life so that i can rebuild and start over again. you know, find jesus and such. maybe a little different.
  • of course, i'm not going to seek it out, but i'm not afraid to let it happen.
  • it's cold inside.
  • sloop john b is such a great song.
  • music sure does speak to me. i'm not always sure what it's saying, but i get all tingly.
  • updated movies list. every single shot in a movie can be done any one out of a zillion ways. i'd never be able to make a movie.
  • i still give too many movies the go ahead.

  • 10-29-00 (20:16)

  • just about every day i find something i'd like to change about myself. slowly i change it. i think at this rate i'll be a perfect person by the time i'm 683.
  • started up the classic rock today. chuck berry is playing now. formulaic, but it's his formula and it's good.
  • going to be really busy tomorrow, not a big fan of being really busy. i've been cherishing my free time more and more these days in anticipation of one day being a 9-5er...granted it will hopefully be a 'noble' 9-5, but i'll still have far less time than i have now. i'm in no rush to become a slave.
  • i think when people take control of their lives it's the best thing they can do for themselves. buying a new car is not taking control of your life.
  • taking control of one's life becomes harder and harder with every day.
  • industrialization has destroyed many things that once made humans more human.
  • chuck berry is alright in my book. ccr are great. didn't know that "too much monkey business" was a chuck berry tune before it was a yardbirds tune. knew that they covered their fair share of tracks though.
  • i think i just bought gandhi's autobiography without having enough money to do so. look who has his priorities straight. go chris.
  • i forgot who it was but someone tried to call me and said that the phone kept ringing without my picking up. i was online...the call waiting does that these days. i should get rid of call-waiting, it really is a waste. it was johnny, i remember now.
  • it didn't really rain today so that was good.
  • got to play some frisbee golf. i sucked big time. big time.
  • watched the 49ers lose a good game, that wasn't fun.
  • i like 'ramble tamble' - a very good ccr track which seemed to go unnoticed. not sure why no one ever plays it.
  • the people upstairs don't like loud music at late hours. understandable, but unfortunate.
  • updated my 'if i were rich/do these before you die' page.
  • off to watch 'sweet smell of success,' which has been on the to see list for years.

  • 10-29-00 (03:23)

  • music can really amplify feelings which people have, it's great like that.
  • it's beyond my comprehension how the government can spend billions and billions more on oppressing people abroad than they spend on funding the arts.
  • i'm a much better person because of music or movies than i am because people abroad are being subdued and pacified in the name of my country.
  • on another note...i was looking through a pile of papers and ran across the personal statement i had to write up last year. i compared myself to dirk diggler (the porn star in boogie nights). i guess i can be funny at times, though, if memory serves i was writing on a couple liters of mountain dew in the system...
  • i also read over a few of my past essays and discovered that having a non-proofreading policy probably isn't the best idea. found plenty of stupid mistakes. it's all in the past i suppose.
  • "...what's gonna set you free? look inside and you'll see..."
  • so it's basically 5am right now because of the whole daylight savings time deal.
  • i ask a lot of questions which go unanswered, but i'd like this one answered. why is it that people insist on violence as a way of working things out? why do people insist upon forcing their ideology upon others? if you have a good explanation i'd like to hear it.
  • you know a great moment in cinema history was when sidney poitier answered to the sheriff's question "what do they call you down there boy?" - "they call me MR. TIBBS!"
  • updated movies list.
  • "Then it don't matter. I'll be all aroun' in the dark. I'll be ever'where--wherever you can look. Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there, I'll be in the way guys yell where there're mad--an' I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise, an' livin' in the houses they built, I'll be there too." -Tom from Grapes of Wrath
  • "I know. That's what makes us tough. Rich fellas come up an' they die an' their kids ain't no good an' they die out. But we keep a-comin'. We're the people that live. They can't wipe us out--they can't lick us. We'll go on forever, Pa, 'cause we're the people." -Ma from Grapes of Wrath
  • really the whole movie could have been a single shot of the exterior of an outhouse. as long as had those two quotes that movie would have still kicked ass.

  • Cute, huh? His name was Tupac Shakur
    10-29-00 (02:09)
  • i remember watching the 84 olympics and seeing part of Mary Lou Retton's great performance. i remember most seeing her parents crying. i asked my mom why they were crying and she said that sometimes people cry when they're happy. the times when i have cried because i was so happy have been few and far between and most of them were due to music.
  • note to self: led zeppelin are perfect.
  • it's easy to say that jimmy page was the best member of the band, but john paul jones has got to be in the running. then again so do plant and bonham. they're fucking great.
  • after listening to houses of the holy i realize that it is an album of epic proportions. i'm not sure why i didn't fully realize this before.

  • 10-28-00 (23:50)

  • my internet connection is being quite dumb right now.
  • maybe i'll just format my hard drive and see how that makes everything. could be a good project for tomorrow.
  • daylight savings is coming up i guess so don't forget to set the clocks back.
  • leaf blowers - the most white of all inventions. it is loud, pollutes, attempts to alter nature, and is the epitome of laziness.
  • when i hear leaf blowers i feel like the yell that zach lets out in "freedom." what a frustrating world we live in.

  • 10-28-00 (20:35)

  • it was raining so i have an excuse for this.

  • 10-28-00 (18:20)

  • i'm down with kool moe dee. he's what old school hip-hop should be about: urban politics, great sampling, the use of jazz, and of course some inventive rhymes.
  • woke up about 4.5 hours ago.
  • it's raining big time today. (6) same expected for tomorrow, but not monday. convienent that it rains the worst when we're supposed to escape the dullness of modern life. instead we become relegated to the tube.
  • vern saved the day though. we started writing a script for this local guy looking for some writers. we're pretty far along, more work tomorrow i'm sure.
  • i'll be done with all my hip-hop albums by the end of the day. i'm thinking classic rock will be next. that will take at least a week. i'll try to attack it more chronologically this time.
  • going to make a list of things to do this week. i have a feeling that there is more school work than i had originally thought.
  • you know what would really fuck up a lot of the liberal political thought (hobbes, locke, and such) would be to denounce all ideas of private property. it's amazing how much of our political thought is based upon the protection of property.
  • if only the world were perfect. ahhh, that would nice. duh.
  • i think i told this story before, but i was thinking about it again so here it goes. i remember being about 11 and listening to the radio while i was in bed. i was trying to come up with my idea of the best music possible. i thought it would be cool if 'they' had a machine which took a sampling of music you really enjoy and it would spit out the best music ever, according to your tastes. it's a bad idea because it would never work, but i think hip-hop is kinda like that. they sample shit from all over the place and make it into good music. at least the good hip-hop does. the pinnacle of great hip-hop in this spirit would be paul's boutique. nowadays it's pretty much illegal to do anything like as great as that album for the masses.

  • 10-28-00 (00:41)

  • updated movies list.
  • updated poll.
  • 02:45 time to sleep. it's going to rain tomorrow i might not wake up until really late. most likely, though, i'll get some telemarketer to wake me up early enough.
  • watch out, here comes god
    10-27-00 (19:08)
  • got the quickcam all working now. added pics of the new room, even pictures of a couple new posters i've gotten since last year. updated pics page. i should get more creative with this quickcam stuff.
  • worked on the bug today. took him out for a spin, ran pretty well, but needs a valve job i think.
  • today was decent overall. hope is pretty much where it's at. without it, well shit would suck.
  • got another cd in the mail. not sure i ordered it, but i may as well keep it since it's "the who."
  • i just realized that i should probably get around to eating something today. odd.
  • updated cdlist. got to delete two more mp3s.
  • moderation is key.
  • finally got my jacket from rei in the mail today. i ordered it a few months ago. backordering is kinda lame.

  • 10-27-00 (12:56)

  • so i started to cry last night because i was thinking about the Kursk and the middle east and all the fucked shit in the world which is just completely unneeded. i was wondering why people can't just get along more. when i woke up this morning i realized that love is a more ubiquitous emotion than hate, and that alone gives me some hope.
  • it's not raining today which is great. the sun is pretty cool in my book.
  • got work soon enough.
  • vern and i both got packages today, as he said it was like christmas. i love getting stuff in the mail.
  • "pullin' me in" is a really awesome song.

  • 10-27-00 (02:35)

  • why does the inside of my ear itch so much? it seriously does and it's not going away so easy.
  • wyclef is great.
  • whoop whoop, yankees won the series, whew whew, excitement.
  • who am i listening to now? wyclef - second album. some pretty tight beats on this here album.
  • wading through the hallway was the theme for last night. tonight the bathroom is all fixed up.
  • was on campus from 12-6 today. actually went fairly fast.
  • "where my fugees at?" - a good wyclef track, check it out.
  • worst thing about today was the rain, but even that wasn't too bad. ergo, the day went pretty well.
  • work tomorrow from 2-4p.
  • well i must say that my political science prof. (Dungey) is pretty much the best college professor i've had so far. he was telling us that he's going to give us the questions for the midterm in the class before we take it so we don't have to stress out. "no trickery here, no power trip..." he said. that's pretty cool compared to some professors. but to avoid people taking the test the night before he said we need to bring in a blue book and he'll initial them and re-distribute them before the test. last year he said that 60% of the people didn't bring in their bluebooks so he had to go buy some out of his own pocket. at which he commented "i don't want to have to do that. i had to take money out of my fucking martini fund"...something along those lines. it was funnier when he said it. he's full of pearls like this. great guy despite his being unbalanced mentally.
  • who the hell is on track three of this album? holy shit, that would be kenny rogers, country and hip hop combining...wyclef is a great producer like that.
  • WYSIWYG - what you see is what you get...that's pretty much me in a nutshell.
  • okay, i'm tired of trying to make every bullet start with a "w"...it was cool while it lasted, though contrived.
  • so the Kursk had sailors (who were probably drawn into the russian navy by some Navy commercial much like ours - advertising all the places you'll go, people you'll meet, diseases you'll contract, close-minded brut frat boys you'll be surrounded by, etc)...uh, well there were some sailors who were still alive in the submarine after the explosion. what a way to die.
  • if you want to see a great submarine movie - das boot is where it's out. peterson did so well with das boot and then moved to hollywood and had george clooney direct for him or something because perfect storm was wack.
  • i use four reference books everyday - dictionary, movie guide, music guide, and the world almanac. i wish i retained more of this shit, esp. when it comes to speeling.
  • corporate welfare is a joke i just don't get.
  • very funny.
  • since it's 3:51 i should probably get to sleep.

  • 10-26-00 (22:45)

  • updated movies list.
  • realized after i got off of work today that i'm pretty much done for the week. i'm subbing for someone from 2-4 tomorrow, but other than that i'm clear until monday. feels good.
  • i should make sure i don't have any assignments coming up.
  • i don't want to work for the man.
  • listening to all three of my public enemy albums for the next couple hours.
  • i've said before that changing who you are is really tough. it is, but i think i've begun to learn how. i admire men like malcolm x, MLK, gandhi, et al because they seemed to have a pretty good idea of who they wanted to be and were very able to reach that point.
  • my mind is pretty mushy right now, i can barely type.
  • it was a gloomy day in davis today, but it makes you appreciate spring all the more.
  • i think that if i had a girlfriend i'd be a better person
  • i can't understand why people can't just accept people and their differences. i've run across plenty of people i don't want to be associated with. plenty of people i can't stand, but why would i ever kill someone because of what they believe?
  • i know that when judgment day comes all the white corporate scum will go to the fiery pits of hell, but that doesn't mean i'm going to beat the shit out of them.
  • was in sociology class today and we were talking about associations we make with symbols...the teacher asked what associations we made with nature, then he asked what we thought the opposite of nature might be. first thing that came to my mind was "white men."
  • "elvis was a hero to most, but he never shit to me. he was straight out racist and plain. mother fuck him and john wayne." -chuck d and flava flav.

  • 10-26-00 (02:35)

  • added to the recently listened to list: resurrection of hip-hop (i talked to one of the guys in this group in kdvs one time, good guy), more tribe called quest...i guess that's it.
  • my side of the bathroom is extremely flooded now. kinda funny. see, i'm laughing. ha ha.
  • the spooks album is pretty damned good, esp. "things i've seen." i will await the next one.
  • listening to music loud makes it so much better. i think the people upstairs probably hate me by now. it's okay because every time they turn on the sink i get all their water on my floor.
  • i'm really liking this way of listening to music. it casts everything in a different light. it's nice to have some continuity too.
  • of course the fugees are insanely good.
  • i want to see about getting some more kdvs stickers. they seem to be fresh out of em.

  • 10-25-00 (23:50)

  • saw a funny looking man on campus today. he mumbled something in his foreign uneducated language. i killed him with my machete.
  • "how do you make god laugh? make a plan"
  • listened to spooks, schoolly d, beastie boys, n.w.a., and run d.m.c. so far today.
  • a lot of people have sampled public enemy and slick rick/doug e. fresh. and more people than i thought have sampled the beastie boys. oh and run d.m.c. are often sampled.
  • bathroom sink is sufficiently flooded...so is the floor.

  • 10-25-00 (20:08)

  • hooked up the quickcam today and then realized that i can't use it until i get a keyboard adapter.
  • updated movies list.
  • "...cuz you know why A-U-C-H. i'm taking all mc's out in the place..."
  • Adam Yauch is pretty much the coolest person alive. well almost anyway.
  • "i've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside"
  • someone asked me about affirmative action today - namely what my stance on it was. i told them that i support it. they said that they understood that people in lower socio-economic brackets didn't have the same opportunities as most, but felt that affirmative action wasn't the answer. i just realized i don't want to bother retelling the whole story since it's nothing special.

  • 10-25-00 (16:47)

  • woke up in the middle of the night with an ant crawling on my face, it was pretty funny actually. other than that i slept really well.
  • going to rent some movies tonight, not entirely sure which ones though.
  • i think i have a midterm next week and some kind of paper to do. i'll worry about those later though.
  • kept thinking that i had work until 6pm, turned out i didn't. lucky guy. got my paycheck so that's pretty sweet.
  • need to scan the pictures of malcolm. i love getting film developed because i never remember what is on the roll. as it turns out this roll had some pictures of jon, vern, and i riding jesus through the house next door (Doc and company). they had moved out and the house was empty so i decided to drive through it. fun stuff.
  • rainy day number four.

  • 10-25-00 (00:49)

  • quizzes are all over. not too bad overall.
  • if eminem rapped in a different language it would be a lot easier to like him. thing about him is that he's really inventive when it comes to delivery of his rhymes and his beats are pretty original.
  • had a good breakfast today...oj, and a plum. doesn't sound like much, but it's more than usual, and it was quality.
  • there are a lot more beastie boys samples floating around than one would think. the same goes for run d.m.c., but i guess one would expect it more with them.
  • this here page now averages 6 hits a day.
  • real life is harder than the media would like you to think. remember that. i demand more truth.
  • gotta sleep
  • updated movies list.
  • word on the street is that it's going to rain on friday and sunday. not a big fan of rain. maybe i should run around and get really wet rather than let it get me down. probably not a good idea since i felt a little sniffly this morning.

  • 10-24-00 (10:47)

  • updated the archives page. includes last month now.
  • been trying to get around to reading the MLK autobiography...no time.
  • gotta go study. gotta have a good breakfast for once too.

  • 10-24-00 (02:00)

  • been pretty happy lately.
  • there is no way i can be sad and listening to stevie wonder at the same time. frontline has elements of a sad song, but it doesn't make me sad. motivated, if anything.
  • tribe called quest - low end theory is better than i remember. it might make a move on people's instinctive travels. any hip-hop that uses jazz is pretty phat in my book. that's phat with a "ph."
  • need to see the new bjork movie...vern says it was really contrived and didn't do it for him at all. marina and gina upstairs say it's the greatest thing since canned fruit, um or something.
  • vern is asleep so now i can't read for my film class. forethought is a good thing. no worries, there's always the notes and the syllabus to study.
  • i wish we had a public access station in davis.
  • you know, nader made a good point - all the support for the arts in the last 7 years or so is equal to the tax break that the government gave to lockheed martin and boeing for merging. i'm pretty sure it was those two which merged. either way you get the point. if billy ray cyrus and garth brooks are so great why won't the republicans fork out more than 207 million a year? this'll go nowhere.
  • much respect to mark borchardt...he's got such vision and determination. i wonder when northwestern will come out. i hope he stays sober for a while.
  • the big question on the street seems to be: "who let the dogs out?" it's really funny how a song can get so big. it really is like the macarena. one that got pretty big pretty quickly which actually had a point was the "everybody wears sunscreen" track.
  • i got shocked a whole buttload today. once again, that is less than a shitload which is less than a fuckload.
  • from nader: www.tompaine.com
  • what is sex when you have three people? what are laws if they ain't fair and equal...what are the youth if they ain't rebellin'? ...what's america without greed and glamour? -courtesy of tribe called quest.
  • bust a nut inside your eye to let you know where i come from. -courtesy of tribe called quest.
  • been thinking about my music listening habits...i'm going to try and put things in perspective more often now. that is i'm going to listen to hip-hop for a while, rather than skipping around so much. skipping around is fun and all, but i think it'll be cool to get really into my hip-hop albums for a week and then move on to some indie rock - velvet underground, bis, etc. then move onto my jazz and maybe attack each genre chronologically. worth a shot.
  • worth a shot. definitely.
  • epmd are pretty much awesome on their debut album. major fall off after that though.
  • i'm going to study.
  • oh, got to see the last part of the monday night football game. it was a good game that went into overtime. good shit.
  • going to sleep now. it's pretty cool how public enemy can take about a tenth of a second's worth of a sample and use it so well.
  • if i die before i wake (sounds familiar) then someone should annonce to all my loyal journal readers: "Chris Miller has passed away. Shucks. Vote Nader." i hereby make that my one wish. it really is time to sleep.

  • 10-23-00 (23:56)

  • so i wonder how one knows when they've found "the one." back up. is there "one?" are there many? are there none? are there a lot of "close-enoughs?" i know that i know nothing. i think everything becomes more clear about the time you're 90 and ready to die.
  • i know depeche mode are great.
  • the midterm today wasn't as bad as was first thought, but maybe i should reserve that for the day when i get it back.
  • two quizzes tomorrow. film and sociology. shit i should have gotten my sociology book from the reserves. brilliant chris. what a tard.
  • my speeling is pretty atrocious.
  • updated movies list. the soundtrack on this version of metropolis was extremely ill-suited. i'm not sure what was running through the person's mind when they picked it out. the movie is owned by some rich guy who revamped it...color tinting, new intertitles, and the soundtrack - bad idea.
  • bs2000 coming out in feb. beastie boys vinyl sounds of science crazy fresh version coming in november.

  • 10-23-00 (01:17)

  • the yardbirds cd (bbc sessions) is very good because it's the yardbirds, but i like their album version of for your love a lot more than that live version.
  • took a shower today, first time since monday. strangely i didn't start to smell or anything. it was pretty cool actually. now my skin is really dry. (single person) showers are over-rated.
  • speaking of which, it's funny how my guests always get more action in my house than i do. i'm over it.
  • just as i finished that line "too much monkey business" (a yardbirds' song) came on. synchronicity is cool.
  • smokestack lightning uses the same guitar breakdown as one in led zeppelin I.
  • then there is "the sun is shining" which took from muddy waters' you shook me, which was also borrowed by page while with led zeppelin on lz I.
  • the yardbirds are pretty classic 60s rock, they're not great, but they are very very good. they stole their fair share of riffs and covered a couple tunes.
  • i'm getting tired.

  • 10-22-00 (22:10)

  • no movie tonight.
  • heard nader on the radio, but didn't get to see him. he wasn't in the station, he called them for the interview.
  • he was really good. talked about things that no one else talks about. made a reference to the michael moore directed rage against the machine video (although it was sort of an oblique reference). good guy.
  • how 20th century fox could be left out of the 2-cd doors best of set is beyond me.
  • close game in the series today...in the last inning anyway.
  • i think i'm going to install the quick cam soon so it doesn't just sit and gather dust. i'll also be able to take pictures of the new room and my newly shaven legs. mmm, nevermind that last part.

  • 10-22-00 (14:42)

  • couldn't sleep last night.
  • 49ers lost again, this sucks.
  • johnny and christy left. it looks like they'll be moving to davis next year, could be good.
  • nader is in town...in an hour or so he'll be in KDVS, hopefully i'll be there too.
  • i have a midterm monday. two quizzes tuesday. reading would be a good idea at this point.
  • lots to do in the next few days.
  • my new lee morgan cd is good.
  • probably should go rent some more movies since i don't want to keep watching movies i've already seen. 116 movies on the to see list.
  • i'm currently uploading three fantastic beastie boys tracks to loyal fans, share the wealth.
  • over 11 million votes for nader, i predict.

  • 10-22-00 (00:20)

  • saw one snl skit and it looked dumb.
  • updated movies list. third kubrick in a row.
  • rage against the machine has their live album on pre-order at a few online stores...i think that's good news, but it conflicts with the reports that there isn't any release date in the near future....

  • 10-21-00 (01:43)

  • updated movies list. got four dvds in the mail, four for 20 bucks. johnny and christy missed a lot of clockwork orange which is too bad.
  • johnny and christy came today. went to get milkshakes came back watched a movie. oh we played frisbee golf too. had my worst game of the year, vern had his best. tommorrow they'll be gone and i'll be busy.
  • ended up counting the immigrant as one of my movies for the 300...i don't think it'll be the one that pushes me over so even if there is controversy i don't think it'll matter in the end.
  • the ralph nader speech is sold out so no dice there. however there is a chance i'll get to see him anyway. he's going to be at KDVS so i might make a trip down there and see if i can observe his greatness, even for a moment or two. having a KDVS id card might actually come in handy for once.
  • if you know of any good chemicals for getting stickers off glass, let me know.
  • art isn't a science. there aren't rules you can follow to ensure your art is good. in science there are. art isn't about formulas, science is. art is much more subject to interpretation and emotion. therefore i can say that the killing is probably the best kubrick film there is, but it's not my favorite. a streetcar named desire is probably a better film than magnolia in terms of writing and direction, i don't honestly have the knowledge to say this one way or the other; but magnolia is far superior in my books for completely intangible reasons. music is often the same way. nevermind, you know all this already.
  • watched the first 6-7 minutes of a movie online today. actually wasn't too slow at 56K. movie was horrible though.

  • 10-20-00 (01:48)

  • haven't had much time to do stuff i want to do lately. if i had a girlfriend it would be worse i suppose.
  • work can be pretty dope sometimes. this is especially true when cute chicks have nothing better to do than to talk to some guy (me) behind the desk.
  • watched a good video in class today about the media. had seen it before actually, but it was cool to see it again now that i have more perspective.
  • updated movies list. kubrick has a knack for ending his movies so damn well.
  • not having friends is usually not too great.
  • the highlight of my day is when i bike to class and zoom past everyone, that usually lasts all of 4 minutes.
  • i'm going to go to a bar and get wasted now.
  • no one has told me whether they think "the immigrant" should count for my movie count.
  • i should probably be getting to sleep.

  • 10-19-00 (00:30)

  • johnny is officially coming this weekend. friday to be exact.
  • updated mp3 list. got to delete a bunch because of the new cds.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated poll.
  • finally got jimmy smith's "root down (and get it)" it was tough to find until napster had big problems and thus big publicity.
  • went to phil and jon's (and monique's), nothing happening there.
  • next year when i renew my 300 movie goal i'm going to try and repeat a lot of the classics i saw this year. i've got about 105 movies on my "to see" list which should be plenty for next year so i want to make sure and see some of the films i liked a second or even third time next year.
  • without going back to hunting and gathering i don't think people of the world will ever be truly free or equal. then again i don't know if that could happen even with a hunting and gathering social structure. i don't think it could happen with 6 billion people living on this earth either. we need fewer people wasting away in factories where they do the same thing for hours on end without actually producing anything of their own. it takes away from the whole point of production. fuck this world.
  • i want to work in a fast food environment sometime before i die.
  • if you just asked yourself "what the fuck is wrong with chris" then you don't have any clue who i am; you don't really know me.
  • the old saying that "it builds character" ("it" being hard work) is something i discover is more and more true every day. there are many who will never realize this. in this sense i hope bush wins, fucks the country completely and makes people re-realize what hard work is all about. you know all that shit old people talk about constantly? well there's something to it...
  • www.ballotmaker.com it's got some useful info. very good in certain areas...so far it mostly works for CA. it has stuff like the voting record for candidates and who endorses them, etc.
  • for my congressional district there's a republican, a mormon democrat, a crazy libertarian with a beard, and someone who has no information and whose email doesn't work. tell me now - is there any real choice there?
  • www.opensecrets.org
  • so here's the deal - your single vote doesn't matter - this is fact. but on the large scale this thought can lead to problems associated with low voter turnout. thus, i think everyone should vote. BUT, since your single vote doesn't count then you may as well vote for whomever you feel is the best candidate...whether that be nader, gore, peter pan, etc. it really is the most democratic and most fulfilling way of voting, given the current constraints.
  • discovered, by looking at the poll results thus far, that either i have a bunch of leftist people visiting my site or i have convinced a couple people that nader kicks ass. either way it's pretty cool.

  • 10-18-00 (17:41)

  • got 15 cds in the mail today. all for 20 bucks. awesome. updated cd list. after the shippment i now have 10 AC/DC albums. i never thought i'd have that many.
  • i wish columbia house or bmg had the beatles albums in their catalog.
  • tomorrow is going to be a shitty day because i have 6 hours of work and 4 hours of school, all in one solid block.
  • had some good breakfast burritos today. my new food kick is this pasta dish i've been making...lemon juice, parsley, chicken, tomato sauce, zucchini, pepper, garlic, mushrooms, all on top of penne.
  • finished off a roll of film today...need to get it developed soon.
  • rage against the machine are pretty much over now. zach left so that is pretty shitty.
  • found prodigy's first single online today, that is good i guess.

  • 10-17-00 (23:38)

  • there's a little quiz on www.speakout.com which will tell you who you should vote for based upon your answers to, and weighing of, some questions. it's pretty cool. obviously it's got it's limitations, but it got my top three right (of those on the list). it was kind of funny seeing all the republicans on the bottom of the list with such low compatibility percentages.
  • i would urge people to vote for nader just to signal a desire for change...whether they agree with him or not the best way to wake up those stalwarts in dc is to threaten their power.
  • i have hw to do. hmmm.
  • ended up not having to go do the kdvs thing from 1230-0330am tonight...they called me and said they had enough people. lucky guy.
  • i'm something of a freedom advocate so i have been battling over gun rights. what gives me the right to take away guns from law abiding citizens? requiring them to get a license, lock, and wait a few days before they can get a gun is just fine. past that i don't think the government should have the right. oh, except to limit the kinds of weapons. at the same time i don't think hunting should be allowed. i guess i haven't really changed my views now that i outline it all. nevermind anything i just said.
  • no movie today either. i could count one of the charlie chaplin movies we watched yesterday as a movie for yesterday...tell me what you think...it's about 25 minutes, it's on imdb.com, and it's charlie chaplin's mid-teens movie The Immigrant. should it count?
  • i could wear one rage against the machine shirt for every day of the week.
  • if you know of a place to buy re-applyable stickers online then tell me. i'm talking about the kind that adhere using static electricity rather than glue.
  • here's a headline for you:
  • *** Gore watched violent movies

  • WASHINGTON (AP) - Vice President Al Gore's criticism of violence in
    the media hasn't stopped him from buying tickets to bloody
    blockbusters. He listed "Gladiator" and "The Matrix" among his recent
    favorite movies. "I loved 'The Matrix,'" the Democratic presidential
    nominee said in an interview in the Nov. 9 issue of "Rolling Stone,"
    which appears on newsstands Friday. "Somebody gigged me in the
    mainstream media for not liking too much violence in the movies but
    simultaneously liking that movie," Gore said. "Well, you know, it was
    rated for adults. It was very violent, but it was a terrific movie.
    And I can hardly wait for the sequel." Other films Gore named were
    "Being John Malkovich," "East is East," "Erin Brockovich," and "Three
    Kings." Gore said he often watches movies to relax while on the
    campaign trail.

  • how about "gore likes incest...al gore recently admitted to liking "Gladiator" a film which clearly shows one of the primary characters as having an incestual interest in his sister. is this really the man you want running the country?"
  • give me a break.
  • updated the poll.

  • 10-17-00 (00:30)

  • big news today was that i didn't watch a movie today so the streak is over. i could watch one right now, but i don't feel like being up until 0230.
  • today was long, tomorrow will be longer - i'm volunteering at kdvs from 1230-0330. that's am of course. pretty shitty, but i get double hours and i means i don't have to wake up early (before 11am).
  • waking up before 11am should be avoided at all costs. of course when we painted during the summer waking up at 7am was the norm.
  • met some really stupid people at the reserves today. when i say stupid i mean that they seem to not have ever thought about life, society, or anything in any depth. i also met a couple people who seemed to have their head in the right place. that is always an attractive thing. i think i may have converted one of my co-workers to the side of nader. i got another to think seriously about voting. happy about that. i know i got marina to vote for nader too, it's all pretty good.
  • my memory is pretty bad, but when it comes to the hitchhiking trip i think i remember every single detail...i read a bit of my huge summary of it and hadn't forgotten about anything i read. boy what a trip.
  • i wonder who the first artist to say "Californ-I-A" was. i know the beach boys said it. so did dr. dre and the offspring...
  • i should go over my old editorials and revise them...should.
  • despite my not wanting to get married i think that i might take a wife if she agreed with me politically and musically. of course we wouldn't get married until we were 30, but that's okay.
  • asked a few "customers" at the reserves desk in the library if they knew who john coltrane or miles davis were. out of four people only one person said they knew...and she said it reluctantly. very surprising.
  • of all the people since the beginning of written history who lived past 5 years old i wonder what percentage went their entire life without having sex.
  • one of these days i should compile a "best of" from my site, put it all on one page and post it.
  • 49ers lost another close one. i feel for them. i love the 49ers. i wish i could just win the games for them in those last couple minutes.

  • 10-15-00 (20:40)

  • updated movies list. streak - 27 days. 160 new movies, 225 total.
  • covering the jazz show was fun stuff.
  • didn't get around to working on the car today.
  • lou, old friend from freshman year, came by today. that was cool, he's a funny guy.
  • played frisbee golf again today...we're getting it down to where we're +1 or par. one of these days we'll go under par...
  • i want to sleep.

  • 10-15-00 (02:50)

  • there's a great song by the the last poets called "niggas are scared of revolution"...the last poets are pretty damned great.
  • updated movies list.
  • all the chrome molding is on now. put the vw emblem on as well. got some paint for the wheels, going to do that tomorrow i think, not sure though.
  • saturday night live was really good tonight. thom yorke even held up a "let ralph debate" sign at the very end, it was pretty cool. i might get back into snl, it seems like the dark days are over. even the news portion is getting better. i have to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time.
  • used my grandfather's book today to see what movies dimitri tiomkin had composed for...as i suspected it was quite a lot, and also several classics...some of which i have seen recently.

  • 10-14-00 (14:55)

  • ford is making a commitment to increase fuel efficency in suvs. they're going to improve aerodynamics, decrease weight, add another gear, maybe two, and even have variable timing valve opening. it's a change which should have happened long ago.
  • the new racing saleen looking crazy and performs just as well as an f50.
  • there are 10 million people who own honda civics, i think 9 million of them live in california

  • 10-14-00 (00:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • picked up the bug today, looks damn good. put the chrome molding on (except for one troublesome piece). still needs a lot of work, which will be fun for the next months to come, then comes the interior. of course the whole time i need to keep him in running condition.
  • i wish i could change the world more quickly than one person at a time.
  • my life could be a lot worse than it is.
  • i dislike licking envelopes.
  • called the white house today, but was on hold for a while. try again later.
  • i think nader is the closest thing to a great leader my generation has seen. the problem is "we" are doing so well that no one really cares what he's saying.
  • if you're a non-white mother who works two jobs and doesn't have any insurance or benefits then i don't think you think "we" are doing so well. i forgot which white guy it was, but one of them said that illegitmacy was the biggest problem for non-whites. i've got news for you - you could have three husbands who all work 2 jobs each and still be without insurance. because a) no republican would ever allow universal health care to all americans and b) because most of the jobs clinton has created are low wage earning, part-time, and have no benefits.
  • i can't remember the last day i failed to point out to someone the simple fact that cuba has health insurance for all its citizens and the u.s. does not.
  • my ranting doesn't help.
  • going to sub for damany's jazz show on sunday, should be good. lots of listeners i'm sure. 3 hours of solid jazz should be fun to do.
  • i'm definitely a night person. it's too bad i always get motivated at 2am or later.
  • i want to buy this great piece of machinery. i should just get a loan approved and buy it right now. this one is nicer, but a 71 would be a better year.

  • 10-13-00 (01:30)

  • updated movies list.
  • football is coming to los angeles. extreme football, that is. the xfl proves to be interesting at least for the first season.
  • the nba has shifted around a lot in the off season. ewing isn't with the knicks, the kings got rid of corliss, kemp is in portland, rice is in new york, man it should be fun trying to get reacquainted with all the new teams.
  • i like portland's chances again. sacramento looks good again. sadly so do the lakers. it really seems that the west is where it's at.
  • i had a irrational moment the other day. i thought about ralph nader actually winning the election and how great it would feel, then i came to my senses. for those two seconds, though, it was a great feeling. it was a feeling i'm sure many african-americans felt when joe louis won the heavyweight championship, and probably the opposite feeling as when MLK was assasinated.
  • did some more research to solidify my vote...nader's site, bush's site, gore's site. discovered that i agree with nader on every issue he spoke to. if you have 30 minutes then you have enough time to be educated enough to vote for one of the three. i think it's sad that in a country with almost 300 million people we have only 3 who are being considered for president. oops, i mean 2.
  • if you don't turn on to politics, politics will turn on you.
  • there is a girl in my popular culture class who was acting completely retarded today. it's amazing how ignorant some people are. we were talking about popular music (e.g., backstreet boys, blink 182, etc.) and the counter pop culture music (bad religion, radiohead, rage against the machine, etc). she said that all of this talk was annoying and people shouldn't be ragging on n'sync "because they're good and i like them, and they have talent, and i'm happy for them making it big..." she also said that no one wants to be depressed while listening to music. i wanted to tell her that being depressed a couple hours out of the day is a small price to pay for not being ignorant. i honestly think that if all of america was more open to the ideas that these bands purport then 600,000 rwandans wouldn't have died without any help from the u.s. if the price for a little awareness is being depressed then so be it.
  • i wanted to break her face.
  • going to call the white house tomorrow.
  • donated 10 bucks to ralph nader today. also volunteered to help out with various things.
  • wrote emails to nbc, cbs, pbs, abc, fox, and the person in charge of the presidential debates telling them all they should allow nader in the debates.
  • what is wrong with people that makes it so that they need a war, revolution, disaster, crisis of some sort every 20 years in order to enjoy and be thankful for what they have? nader think that "the best way for them (children) to learn is to develop a civic curriculum, civics, where they learn about history, and reading, writing, arithmetic in terms of understanding the reality of the world around them, starting with their own community's history and their own community's problems and challenges." what a novel idea. history is important and people need to know how it relates to things around them...some can make the connection themselves, others can't...teach them how.

  • 10-12-00 (14:27)

  • i'm thinking i want to stay in davis next year after i'm graduated.
  • looks as though i just missed my first two classes. forgot to set my alarm. i was doing well up to this point.
  • a riot be the rhyme of the unheard.
  • it's not rainy.

  • 10-12-00 (02:34)

  • some people annoy the shit out of me so much i couldn't care less about their problems (which usually amount only to gap discontinuing their favorite pair of khaki shorts). other times there are people who seem so damned awesome i wish i could take their weight and carry it myself.
  • music is kinda cool. understatement.
  • sleep is sparse these days.

  • 10-12-00 (00:00)

  • updated movies list. the streak stays alive - 23 days 37 movies. 221 movies so far.
  • watched the debates. bush "won." he won in that he made himself look better than gore, for the most part. hearing both of them talk about gay marriage was depressing. if you want to know the truth about all the claims each spat out during the debates go here. the same dose of truth, for the first debate, is here. the only thing that "impressed" me (if you can call it that) was that bush kept talking about education. there were a couple of awkward moments which were entertaining.
  • when they were talking about foreign policy and how to deploy troops i so wanted one of them to step up and quote the grapes of wrath (Tom Joad) - wherever there's people struggling, i'll be there, whenever a cop is beating a guy, i'll be there... that movie was epic, so was the song, and i'm sure the book is too.
  • new tool album coming out in april i hear. i think 2001 will be a good year for music...rumors of the beastie boys, rage (2-cd set), fugees might work on something...and more.
  • "listen to the facist sing 'take hope here, war is elsewhere, you were chosen, this is god's land, soon we'll be free, of blot and mixture, seeds planted by our forefather's hand.'"
  • "i'm epmty please fill me / anchor assure me / that baghdad is burning / you voice it is so soothing / that cunning mantra of killing / i need you my witness / to dress this up so bloodless / to numb me and purge me now / of thoughts of blaming you..."
  • i just can't stand shallow people.
  • when i get a girlfriend she had better have money.
  • those last two lines sound absurd juxtaposed as they are, but i swear i've heard people say those things in the same breath. it fucking kills me.
  • i've been really getting into the new ratm album lately.
  • i think the first politics i ever got into were in music. it was 1991 and use your illusion II had just come out. the first track (civil war) was my favorite, and at 11-12 years old seemed really revolutionary.
  • much fuss is made about third party candidates and the way in which they run. perot had the same problem back in 92 and 96. everyone claims that the third party candidates take the route of running against politics. people, especially in the media, seem to think this is a bad thing for politics and usually end up charging perot or nader of being too negative (to varying degrees). i think in the current system, running out of a third party almost necessitates focusing on the negative. after all pointing out the failings of the two major parties has historically been the platform for third party candidates. in essense, focusing on negative aspects of politics is in my view the duty of all parties attempting to break into the two-party system.
  • "You have people who are killed or injured with guns and you have law-abiding people who want to use certain kinds of guns for self-defense. How do you blend the two? First of all, make sure the weapons are designed safely with trigger locks. ... Two, strong law enforcement so that they're not falling into the hands of the criminal element. Three, you look at a weapon the way you look at a car. You've got to know how to handle it. You should be licensed. ... And four, there are certain weapons that should be banned. If you do all that, both interests will be protected." -ralph nader
  • "I think homosexuals have the right of civil union. There are economic reasons for that and there are humanitarian reasons for that, and I think the Vermont decision is a good one, and I think homosexuals should be given equal rights and equal responsibilities." -ralph nader
  • he believes in publicly financed campaigns.
  • "We've had 10 years of economic growth, but the majority of the workers are making less today, in inflation-adjusted dollars, than they made in 1973 or '79, which is a remarkable departure from our history. When the economy grows, usually most people are better off. And 47 million workers -- that's over a third of the work force -- are making less than $10 an hour; many of them five and half, six, seven dollars an hour in Wal-Mart, or Kmart, or McDonald's." -ralph nader
  • "...the financial wealth of the top 1 percent of households exceeds the combined wealth of the bottom 95 percent." -fact
  • if you like what nader says more than what the others say then go ahead, dare to be an optimist and vote for nader. oh, wait, no one is that free.
  • one last note - officially picking up the bug on friday. gives me the weekend (assuming it doesn't rain too much) to work on it.

  • 10-11-00 (17:46)

  • if it weren't for vern i might hate radiohead. on both the beastie boys and rage against the machine newsgroups there are radiohead fans who have nothing better to do than proclaim radiohead's dominance, and what's worse is they do it by knocking other bands. it doesn't make too much sense to me.
  • got wind that tom morello is going to vote for nader. another wasted vote!!! sarcasm.
  • going to watch the two-person debate now. it's amazing how fickle people are...i heard that gore lost votes because he sighed and moaned too much when bush distorted his economic plans.
  • do me a favor - if you want to vote for anyone other than those two, then do it. there's nothing worse than people feeling their freedom is taken away because of the two-party system.
  • it's only a matter of time...
    10-11-00 (00:56)
  • updated movies list.
  • life has been taxing. if i wasn't me then maybe i'd just take some prozac or depakote or something and be normal.
  • orson welles is pretty good (understatement). my uneducated guess is that he was influenced by hitchcock, at least moderately.
  • today was long, tomorrow won't be as bad. still no time to pick up the bug.
  • rainy day number two. three is coming tomorrow.
  • heard a rumor that bush is going to try something tricky involving a last minute vp swap. we shall see.
  • i'd like to get a little ahead with the movies so that i can have a buffer going into the thanskgiving and xmas holidays. although both are perfect opportunities to just sit in front of my dad's tv and watch any number of his 500+ movies.
  • according to my records the last time a movie won the big four (best picture, director, actor, and actress) in the academy awards was 1991 - silence of the lambs, before that it was 1975 - one flew over the cuckoo's nest. damn that was a great flick.
  • do everyone a favor and don't vote for bush.
  • people have been calling me "sir" lately. it's not "young man" or anything of the sort, it's like they know about to enter into the post-school world or something. strange.
  • when i die please laugh up a storm and play some good music.
  • DANNEMORA, N.Y. (AP) - A free-lance TV producer was held hostage at a maximum security state prison for more than four hours Tuesday by an inmate convicted of killing a New York City millionaire. Inmate Kenneth Kimes, 25, held a pen to the throat of Maria Zone, and ordered her camera crew, filming for Court TV, to "back off," Department of Correctional Services spokesman James Flateau said. Officials said he demanded that his co-defendant, his mother, not be extradited to California on murder charges for which both could face

  • the death penalty. An officer observing the interview pushed an alarm and called for help, and prison negotiators spoke with Kimes, Flateau
    said. He said Zone was freed by officers who distracted Kimes and then wrestled the inmate to the floor. Zone was not injured.

    10-9-00 (22:34)

  • i don't like having choices taken away from me.
  • updated movies list.
  • b-boys dvd comes out tomorrow, yay.
  • rainy days and mondays always get me down. today was both, but it wasn't too bad.
  • i'm really happy with the way jeff garcia and randy moss played on sunday, despite the loss.
  • now that it's raining i can wear the same clothes everyday. yippee.
  • music is the soundtrack to life, sadly it usually is more often the soundtrack to people sitting at the computer.
  • pEopLe WhO wRitE likE thIs arE re@lLy annOyINg.
  • with all the people in the world you think there would be a higher proportion of interesting ones.

  • this made me laugh, but good lord is it sad.
    10-9-00 (01:56)
  • i think it can be said with a good degree of certainty that any girl who uses a screen name such as "little angel" or "princess" or anything along those lines is useless in society, other than as a consumer.

  • 10-8-00 (22:56)

  • updated movies list.
  • 49ers played some great ball today, unfortunately so did the raiders. i don't like it when my two favorite teams play each other, it sucks.
  • giants lost today. so did the athletics. a bad day for my sports teams.
  • i've got a good amount of light in my room these days.
  • trying to find some good stickers online...tried ebay. if you know of a place that i can get vinyl stickers let me know.
  • actually did some homework today.
  • it's going to rain and get down to 55 degrees on tuesday. that sucks.
  • finally got around to listening to that scorpions album jorgay gave me a while back. i'm surprised that it doesn't suck.
  • went by the reserves today to pick up a book and saw erin there. she seemed genuinely happy to see me. women are so tricky sometimes.
  • mondays and tuesdays are rumored to suck ass for chris this quarter.
  • saw a survey asking how often people think computers need to be replaced 31.7 percent said every two years, 20.6 percent said whenever they break, and 19 percent said one year or less. i said three years.
  • i'm glad my computer hasn't broken in a while.
  • i discovered today that there is such a thing as one-sided bullet proof glass. pretty crazy, very cool though.
  • here's something interesting: If daytime running lights were on all the vehicles in the U.S., we would burn an extra 406 million gallons of gas each year. That's only a couple gallons for each vehicle, but in total it is more than all of the vehicles in the country burn in a day. At $1.50 a gallon, that's $600 million per year. Looking at it another way, an extra 8 billion pounds of Carbon Dioxide would be added to the atmosphere by this law.

  • 10-8-00 (01:08)

  • updated movies list.
  • john travolta is one of the more dumb actors in hollywood. i say this because of the movies he has been choosing lately.
  • the wwf (world wrestling federation) embodies everything that is wrong with the world. women are portrayed as sex objects, stone cold steve austin, after being fired, assaults his boss. when he wins a match he smashes a beer can above his head and drinks it as it falls all over his face. who supports this crap?
  • went to sacramento today about 30 minutes before maaco closed (thanks to the slow buses and my inability to set an alarm while half asleep). it ended up that the car was done being painted, but the fixtures (head lights, running boards, etc.) had not been put on. so rather than wait around for them to do a quick job i told them to take their time and i'd be back on monday or something. car looks good, a lot nicer than it did before. i'll need to figure out a way to swap the interior hardware because they used a later model door on the driver's side. i want to swap the door panel, window crank and vent window crank. shouldn't be too bad.
  • it's cool that there is still stuff to be done. this way i'll have more of a part in making it look good.
  • talked to 43 year old drunk guy who hates his ex-wife on the bus today. also talked to a 25 year old gay guy who likes britney spears, ricky martin, older men and talking to me.

  • 10-7-00 (01:14)

  • looks as though i will pick up the bug tomorrow.
  • updated movies list. also updated all the imdb links and put next to the title if i saw the movie on my dvd player or the big screen. all others were viewed on vhs, tv, or jon's player.
  • looking back on the year i'd say that watching all those movies has been very productive.
  • i've seen 151 new (haven't seen since i was 12 years old) movies. didn't count anything before the age of 12 as being seen because i was too young to understand/remember them.
  • walked a lot today. from home to downtown, then through campus, ran into a couple people, got some errands done. then walked to the video store, visited danielle's house. by chance ended up running into leslie (vern's ex) and her goons. took about two minidiscs' worth of time.
  • nothing means anything in the end. you're wrong no matter what you think. i think that's the point of all philosophy courses.
  • going to rain on tuesday and wednesday. fuck.
  • phil told me my life was exciting.
  • i think that four years ago i wouldn't be able to say that i have enjoyed my stay here on earth, now i think i can - exciting or not, it has been enjoyable.
  • it's funny how different people have different ideas of fun. of course there is only one right way, i'll assume that my way is the right way.
  • sarcasm can be so fun sometimes. if you don't think so then you're wrong.
  • okay, enough of that.
  • i wish i was friends with mark borchardt.
  • it seems as though some critics are giving american beauty a lot of respect because of its controversial subject matter. controversial? it's amazing what people think controversial is. i don't think i'd even call kubrick or stone controversial and they've done some movies which trump american movie in terms of controversy.
  • there are some albums i can listen to no matter what mood i'm in. nevermind would be one of them.
  • the guy who directed welcome to the dollhouse (Todd Solondz) is rumored to be working with mike schank on a new movie.
  • i should sleep now that it's 2:40.

  • 10-6-00 (03:20)

  • i've been tooling with the idea of getting a job at the local video store. an idea.
  • updated movies list.
  • listened to a couple doors albums about eight times last night while trying to sleep. the doors are pretty damned great.
  • some girl ran into my bike while i was cutting through the bike circle today. she fell and i kept going. i felt really bad, but for some reason i didn't stop. i must be an ass or something.
  • my sleep schedule is never going to get back to normal, so it seems.
  • had a really good sandwich for dinner today.
  • nothing much to report.

  • 10-4-00 (19:40)

  • getting to and from school is so easy now that i'm so close to campus. it's fun to weave in and out of the freshmen at high speeds. it takes about 4 minutes, at a leisurely pace, to get to the furthest point on campus.
  • put the september updates where they belong.
  • called kvie to see if i could get a commercial to be run, apparently they don't do that stuff.
  • i don't like my war class, the only class i would take instead of it is full so i'll have to stick it out.
  • i hear they're going to make .kids and .sex in the near future.
  • got my work schedule.
  • word on the street is that phil got a job.
  • the other word on the street is that georgia, who ousted vern and i, has decided to live in chicago. all for naught i guess.
  • updated movies list. yet another movie i have already seen, but didn't realize until i already had rented it.
  • on average it rains four days in october in sacramento. i'm crossing my fingers.
  • i can't think of much to do other than watch movies lately.
  • if i listen to music then i'm going to be on the computer at the same time. i don't like being on the computer, it's not fun.
  • can't wait to get the bug back and start work on that.
  • i can't remember the last time i had to format my harddrive. i probably have forgotten how to do it by now.

  • 10-4-00 (23:58)

  • last month marked the third full year that i've had my webpage up.
  • updated movies list. in the last two days i've seen a bunch of really small "movies" from 1893-1927, but mostly around 1906, in my film class. it's cool to start from the very beginning and see what people did "back in the day." in many ways they were more creative then. then again they had more room to be creative than we do now. if i ever became a director i'd like to start as a silent film director and go through the same evolution...although much more quickly. i think it would be a good exercise. if you become a famous director and decide to do the same thing then maybe you can mention my name.
  • my popular culture teacher isn't exactly the best teacher for the course, but the subject is interesting enough to make up for it.
  • my american thought (political science) teacher, on the other hand, is probably the best teacher i've had in college. he's really exciting, funny, real, and controversial. he says pretty much whatever he wants which includes cursing and saying really challenging things. he's got mental problems (which he has admitted), but as a result is more on the ball (in his thought and theory) and more inclined to say what he is thinking than most. he's the most unprofessional and effective professor i've met. i'm taking notes for my future teaching days.
  • the paint place called to inform me that they need to get a new door for me so that's kind of a pain. i might take the bus there tomorrow to check things out.
  • tolerance and brotherhood strengthened by solid and liberal education.
  • there is a girl in my film class whose eyes are pitch black. she's god's daughter.
  • watched some of the debates today. nothing too great.
  • i've watched at least one movie everyday since 9-19-00, i think that's the longest streak of the year so far.
  • are you free? stop buying what they tell you. stop thinking that buying things makes you happier.
  • consumerism sucks. i'm a part of it.
  • lasting happiness comes only from producing things yourself and helping others.
  • the newest stp album is good enough to own.

  • 10-3-00 (02:35)

  • three more today. updated movieslist. it seems all i do these days is sleep and watch movies. fine by me.
  • i hear the fugees are going to start working together for another album. yay.
  • went to the offspring website and discovered that they're not going to be releasing the entire album online like they said. sony stopped them i guess.
  • had film class and war class today. film class looks good and i got to see the general which has been on my list of movies to see for about a year now, just haven't been able to find it in davis. the war class seems dumb.
  • phil left his bike unlocked the other day and the inevitable happened. i'm sure some money will fall from the sky and his financial problems will be solved.
  • going to be watching a few films i've already seen in film class. 300 movies is a lot for a year, i think it was a good idea.
  • i have quite the "movies to see list" building up

  • 10-2-00 (01:30)

  • sundays are very boring.
  • updated movies list. 206, and still behind.
  • hopefully i can work it out so that i've seen all the movies on AFI's top 100, i've seen almost all of them so far.
  • tomorrow i have the rest of my classes.

  • 10-1-00 (03:14)

  • updated movies list. as it turned out i watched two horror flicks and a documentary about the making of another today. three total.
  • got the signed american movie dvd in the mail. it's great. has the two filmmakers, mark, and mike all commenting during the film. then there are a bunch of deleted scences, coven (the short film), and of course the movie without commentary.
  • had planned on going to a party today when i realized that i don't give a shit about anything invoved in that party. had a better time watching american movie and the u.s. basketball team beat france.

  • michael johnson ran his last olympic race, it was good.

    9-30-00 (02:17)

  • no class today.
  • went and helped old friend's brother by making sure his computer worked before they paid the people who fixed it. didn't even know i had this friend until she called and asked for the favor.
  • was in sociology class the other day and the teacher asked if anyone had heard of karl marx...just about everyone raised their hands. then he asked if anyone had heard of marx as a social theorist, same result. then he asked if anyone had heard of karl marx and communism - i was the only one to raise my hand. this was in a class of over 100 people. i wonder if people thought it was a trick question or what.
  • updated movies list.
  • watched more of the olympics. i think a lot of the olympics is a joke. i know for a fact that if you picked five of the best basketball players in los angeles, coached them together for a year and put them in the Olympics that they would win all the games they played. my point is that the "dream team" which is representing us now isn't the best the us has to offer, isn't really a team, and shouldn't have to win by 20 points against a team which has trained together for years and really does have the best that country has to offer.
  • i need to learn how to be more firm when i say "no" to people. that, or people need to take no for an answer more often.
  • watched a video today which showed me how to tune-up the bug. as soon as i get him back i'm going to start tuning him up and hopefully finishing up final touches on the outside, then start on the inside full bore.
  • i think led zeppelin is a pretty good band.
  • the frat next door is loud and annoying. then again so are most girls.
  • i think the only time that pcs were ahead of macs was when they thought that computers could be pieces of furniture. the new imacs make that statement with all the new colors they're coming out with. ibms have always had the cream color and the black color. i actually new a couple people who bought the black monitors, cases, mice, keyboards, etc to make their computer more of a fashion statement. macs just took it one step further.
  • i'm going to try and stop complaining about things which i can reasonably change. i therefore reserve the right to complain about the government since i cannot reasonably make a significant change. and so forth.
  • jones got a bronze in the long jump. oddly she got it even though she had the second longest jump, the reason being that she was tied with someone else. the rule is that in the event of a tie the person with the longer jump prior to that jump will be the leader. that rule cost her the silver and me 25 cents.

  • 9-29-00 (01:21)

  • saw the women's soccer team score the best goal i've ever witnessed. with about 20 seconds left in regulation they tied the game. they ended up losing to a (according to andres cantor) lesser norway team. cantor is a broadcasting legend at this point. he yelled "gooooal" for 22 seconds when cameroon beat brazil.
  • watching the russians play the americans in basketball. there was a little bit of a squabble at the end of the half. i'm for brotherhood and amiable relations most of the time, but there has to be a time when people can be somewhat uncivilized and let things loose. i think sports are a great venue for this. that's why i don't have much of a problem with people occasionally fighting during sports. this is an unpopular view, but i think to deny one's urges is to deny the very thing that makes us human. the catch being that there should be a time and place. sports provide this time and place for me.
  • the 200m race was a disappointment because it should have been called back because of a false start. as a result john capel ended up losing. without a doubt had the start been a fair one he would have won by at least 2 tenths. such is the olympics.
  • the bronze medal winner in the decathlon - chris huffins - seems like a really really cool guy. happy for him.
  • class was good, both my classes seem fun and interesting.
  • found out that becoming a government teacher is one of the harder subjects to find an open position in. might need to take up to three tests. it's all going to be a drag, but i have a long time to do things step by step.
  • only one player on the entire us olympic basketball roster has won any championship - gary payton got a gold in 96. no one else won in the college finals or nba finals. i'm really surprised by how many people on the "dream team" are basically just second rate players. eventually the rest of the world will catch up, eventually.
  • going to watch high noon now.

  • 9-28-00 (02:00)

  • classes tomorrow from 12-3. 3-? figuring out about being a teacher. ?-? helping phil with his bed. that sounds bad.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated schedule.
  • i think it's really cool that pearl jam is releasing 25 cd sets to their fans - all live stuff that normally would be bootlegged for 25 bucks a pop. i never understood why more bands didn't sell their live material.
  • it'll be cool once the cd players which recognize mp3 files are cheap. they're about 200 bucks now, but then again each cd can carry about 750 minutes worth of music.
  • i want to watch the basketball game versus russia tomorrow night. should be fun.
  • speaking of basketball - i hope everyone got the chance to see vince carter dunk over (literally completely over his head) a seven foot player. jumped over him, dunked the ball, celebrated. it was one of the best moments in the sydney olympics.

  • 9-27-00 (01:48)

  • updated movies list.
  • waking up early tomorrow to do a favor for vern, then shooting over to phil's to help him out with his life, then i have a meeting for work.
  • olympics were really good today.

  • 9-26-00 (16:24)

  • didn't watch magnolia today, but i listened to the last third. there are some movies/albums that really get rolling at certain points. the b-side of abbey road, the middle of paul's boutique, and the last third or so of magnolia are all examples of everything clicking well and rolling along perfectly.
  • took in the bug today at around 1030, took the bus back. it'll be done sometime next week.
  • there are too many hot chicks out and about these days.
  • went on campus and asked about graduating on time, being a teacher, etc. need to come back thursday to find out about teaching credential programs.
  • i'm officially going to start purchasing beatles albums on cd. my abbey road lp is a little warped in one point and makes a tick throughout the album.

  • 9-26-00 (03:08)

  • updated movies list.
  • malcolm gets about 8 coats of paint in the next week.
  • freshmen have all moved in, it's a pretty sight.
  • got five more movies today. i think this year has been very good in terms of covering the classics. i've seen lots of movies i had not seen before and a few which i had, but didn't fully appreciate until the second viewing. at the end of the year i'll count how many new movies i've seen.
  • school starts thursday.
  • goto library job wednesday for orientation type stuff.
  • saw michael johnson cement his dominance in the 400m. it really is too bad he has no competition. there would be a sub 43 second 400 if he was paced for the first 250. then again i've never thought too highly of pacing, though the europeans do it all the time.
  • only 12.5 gigs free on my secondary hard drive.

  • 9-25-00 (03:37)

  • updated movies list.
  • women's diving champ is from the u.s. - that rocks.

  • 9-24-00 (06:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • "since i don't have you" by the skyliners is probably the saddest song ever.
  • i think vern's going to be gone all day tomorrow.
  • tomorrow is church day so there will be even less to do.

  • 9-23-00 (04:57)

  • just retrieved jesus from phil's house. saw the popo coming right towards me while i was in the bike lane. killed the engine and thus the lights, but i'm sure he saw me. i retreated into the bushes and looked for brake lights, saw none. cranked him up again and jetted the rest of the way home. jesus guides, jesus saves.
  • not sure whether to sleep and try to wake up at noon or so and watch two movies before the olympics or to watch a movie now and sleep later into the day.

  • 9-23-00 (02:15)

  • i'm going to start being more tough in my ratings of recent movies because there are far too many thumbs ups.
  • updated movies list.
  • my days consist of this: wake up fairly late (usually from 1-2pm) watch a movie, eat, play frisbee golf, watch olympics (7p-12a), watch movie, check email, update page, sleep, repeat.
  • the 50m men's freestyle was awesome today - got to see the american's get two gold medals in the same race - a tie. they were both underdogs too. very fun race to watch.
  • saw michael johnson, jones, and greene win their respective races which means they all qualify for the quarterfinals.
  • running boards came today, now all i need to do is to drop off the bug for a week or so.
  • finished my wrench sleeve holder thingy. i think i'm fresh outta projects, except for malcolm.
  • i think my first project in that category will be making some kind of mobile toolbox which should include needed parts as well as tools.

  • 9-22-00 (02:05)

  • updated movies list.
  • just watched the us basketball team beat lithuania by "only" 9 points. i think its so sad that people will be criticizing the US team for having beaten a team by only 9 points. a) they won. b) they're playing a team that includes an entire country's best players. c) they're playing a team that has practiced together for years more than they have. d) this year's dream team is missing the following nba players: shaq, kobe bryant, david robinson, patrick ewing, tim duncan, reggie miller, scottie pippen, glen rice, mookie blaylock, terrell brandon, eddie jones, penny hardaway, grant hill, john stockton, karl malone, chris webber, juwan howard, latrell sprewell, keith van horn, etc. that's a small list of some of the greatest players in the world all of whom are not (but could be) playing for the US team...take any five of them and i'd bet that team would beat any team in the world. all this and yet people, when they hear of the "upset" will cry in horror "how could the US be so close to losing?"
  • people take things for granted.
  • played frisbee golf today, got two birdies, it was a good round.
  • it's amazing what ignorance does to people. it's also amazing how exciting sports can be when you actually understand everything that goes into them. the ones that don't generally enjoy basketball are the ones who claim it is just a matter of "throwing a ball into a basket."
  • i don't know, but i think ignorance is bad.
  • if there's one thing i can't stand it's intolerance.
  • the exorcist is being re-released, that's pretty cool. watch it if you haven't already.
  • i think M is one of the greatest movies under 100 mins long. paths of glory is in there too (87 mins).
  • the person upstairs doesn't like it when i play music at 3 in the morning. freak.
  • i wonder if anyone took that last part seriously.
  • saw two movies i had already seen, but enjoyed both of them more the second time than the first.
  • need to rent the awful truth, this is spinal tap, barry lyndon and some others the next time i go to the rental place.
  • i'm tired and hungry.

  • 9-21-00 (02:07)

  • "we keep comin they can't wipe us out, they can't lick us, cuz we're the people...we'll go on forever"
  • updated movies list.
  • it's amazing how much of an impact railroads have had on making the world more "white." they facilitated westward movement and manifest destiny more than any other invention. at the same time they could become great equalizers - literally putting small towns on the map by virtue of being close to the rail. i'm sure there are books on just this subject.
  • grapes of wrath was really really good in a lot of ways. i finally know exactly what the song "ghost of tom joad" is all about. i more or less knew before, but seeing that last scene with henry fonda cemented it.
  • one of the great exchanges was between a farmer whose land is being taken away by "the man" and the messenger who gives him the bad news. kind of need to see it to appreciate it.
  • finally fixed the dining room table today, found some wood, nailed what needed to be nailed and now it works great. if only we had some chairs.
  • i need more light in my room, but refuse to buy something that comes for free 12+ hours a day.
  • made a quasi LP case by cutting off the tops of a cardboard box, works well enough and was free. boxes are normally very expensive - i was surprised to learn this.
  • started making my wrench sleeve a while back, need to make a lot of stitches, but the overall design is laid out and should work well. i wanted to have a place to put all my metric wrenches without buying a special case. so i cut off the leg of one of my old jeans and am using it to make a long piece of cloth with slots in it for wrenches. i will end up putting all my metric wrenches into their respective slots and then rolling up the whole pant leg which should fit nicely in my toolbox. verdict isn't in since i haven't sewn it all up yet.
  • bob costas was funny today and set the record straight when some retard said that misty hyman's victory over o'neill was "the greatest upset in olympic history." i'll admit that it was quite an upset since o'neill hadn't lost in the last 4 years and it was pretty fun to watch. costas pointed out that the u.s. beating the russians in 1980 in hockey was more of an upset. he actually phrased it more along the lines of "that was quite an upset, but as for the greatest in olympic history...? well, there was a certain hockey game in 1980." that's the beauty of bob costas - he's got a good deal of style.
  • the beastie boys/rage against the machine tour is officially canceled.
  • i like what the preacher in grapes of wrath says about "good" and "bad."
  • word on the street is that johnny might be coming to davis for grad school type activities. that would be neat. he might even come this weekend; that, too, would be neat. if he does i might get more LPs for my "LP case."
  • where are the free market advocates? i haven't heard anyone talk yet of capitalism supremacy in the context of athletic competition (esp. the Olympics).
  • our ant problem has decreased significantly, however they still creep up on us occasionally while we sit around.
  • seen two of the ten movies i rented...need to see 3 tomorrow.
  • i think that the triathlon in this olympics was a joke because it was too short. i like the ironman far more.

  • 9-20-00 (01:05)

  • updated movies list.
  • went to kdvs and had the show today, it was decent.
  • afterwards we went to work and tried to do the impossible.
  • as soon as the running boards come in i'll take in malcolm to be resurrected.
  • talked to the management today about getting a covered parking space. they are such white hoedunk white people, it's quite funny. they're actually really nice, despite cussing constantly, talking about "orientals" and their trash emptying habits, etc. at first they explained that they not only didn't have any open spaces, but open covered spaces are reserved for tenets who have been here for a year or more. i explained to them that i was getting the car painted and talked to the guy about volkswagens for a bit (he once owned a 1968). they're going to clear aside a spot for me which should work out well.

  • 9-19-00 (00:10)

  • at the just 4 hours ago i would have told you that my day was completely open, free to work on malcolm, wake up late, watch movies, the olympics, etc. now i have work in vacaville and a kdvs show to do in the morning. i was actually looking forward to not doing anything. that'll have to wait till tomorrow.
  • our air conditioner works a lot better than i had first thought.
  • finally got around to doing some laundry today.
  • had a bbq today and finally ate that trip tip that has been sitting around since my grandmother's visit. it was really good.
  • offspring is pretty cool in my book. news.
  • went golfing today, that was cool. my unorthodox shot is pretty effective.

  • 9-18-00 (01:38)

  • updated movies list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • there is plenty to report about from the oakland trip, but i can't remember any of it.
  • we went to a dim sum restaurant. that was a first for me.
  • sarah tried new foods, that was also a first. yay sarah.
  • jon wants us to work tomorrow, i think not.
  • got two rare beastie boys albums...one a demo paul's boutique cd, the other a mike d solo album featuring all country music. both are good, the country album is surprisingly good - everything country could have been - funny and good.
  • saw a couple of nice bugs, got/gave a couple waves to others passing by. in one section of traffic a hottie asked me what year malcolm was...as it turns out she had a 73.
  • watched some of the olympics tonight.

  • 9-17-00 (19:31)

  • went to oakland. malcolm didn't even try to turnover while i was there and about to leave. i don't think it's the starter, maybe the battery or something. at any rate it made it back and forth without any big problems.
  • went into san francisco and checked out some the the touristy type locations.
  • got 74 hits last week, that's a lot.
  • haven't seen any of the olympics so far. plan on working on the car, watching movies, and the olympics for the next week or so.

  • 9-14-00 (23:48)

  • finished painting today, probably have a few touch ups to do, but it's basically done.
  • went to dentist - oh joy.
  • chatting online can suck because sometimes you are so bored and the other person is busy and as a result will be really passive in their chatting.
  • going to oakland tomorrow.
  • want to work on malcolm on monday.
  • i need to rent a bunch of movies one week and just go crazy...i could get 10 for under 9 bucks at 49er video...should, could, would.
  • the beastie boys dvd (2 dvd set by the way) is going to be so phat. multiple camera angles, songs remixed in dolby 5.1, live video mixing, band/director commentary, still photos, 18 music videos...i'm so ready for it. i'm getting all bubbly in my stomach, shit yea. they say it's probably the third best dvd ever...what are the first two?

  • 9-13-00 (22:08)

  • work progressed fairly well today. worked 9 hours, that's 23 so far for the job - i think that might be a lot, then again jon didn't work very much the first day because of errands.
  • malcolm performed well, but when i started up the car after dropping off jon it lagged when i stepped on the gas, this was the same symptom as when i needed the valves to be adjusted. hopefully it will run well for the next 170 miles until i can adjust them.
  • i wish i knew more about my car, i need someone who really knows there shit to show me everything on the car.
  • work tomorrow until about 1pm, then go to the dentist. phil is coming to help work, i think we should finish by 1pm, not counting packing up.
  • the internet is cool, but i really don't use it very much. i get bored of it quickly...i don't have enough places i like to goto on a regular basis so my rounds are usually pretty quick.
  • the doors album i got (l.a. woman) is pretty cool. it's not a best of but it has a good sampling of their stuff - blues, psych, straight rock - it's nifty and solidifies their position - above pink floyd and below metallica.
  • well it's september 13th, tupac died on this date, as did bill borchardt. as a side note - phil also had sex with cynthia on this date. my intention, as you know, was to pour out some alcohol (as is customary) for my fallen brothers. i went to buy alcohol yesterday but safeway wouldn't take my credit card check. today i went to state harvest market (the nearest market to the new place) and they didn't have any hard liquor. when asked why they said "we don't sell hard alcohol; the store is owned by christians." i shit you not. fascism isn't good. i don't like alcohol, but i think people should have the choice. so i will pour out the alcohol for them another time.
  • it might be a sign that i'm not destined to ever buy alcohol.
  • 5.0 was on my tail today, i was lucky and was able to ditch him. it was close and got the heart racing - i plan not to have it happen any time soon.

  • 9-12-00 (23:12)

  • well the boss man didn't call us today telling us that our work sucked so i guess that means we're good enough to work tomorrow.
  • malcolm gets to drive tomorrow. i hope he does well this week...got to go to vacaville tomorrow. sacramento on thursday. oakland on friday. back to davis on sunday. i'm going to try and adjust the valves when i get home after oakland. hopefully next week will pretty much free for me to work on him and square away the paint job gig.
  • it might rain tomorrow, that would suck big time.
  • didn't watch a movie tonight, darn.
  • saw a really horrible "story" about internet entrepreneurs on dateline tonight. i'm not sure why we watched it. they used pink floyd's "money" in the background. it was really wrong.
  • my fan works really well on the receiver, it's dope.
  • no time.
  • worked on clearing out the room a bit today, it's getting there.
  • school starts in two weeks.
  • updated my schedule, i think it looks pretty good so far.
  • wanted to take race relations (sociology, but it was canceled) want to take corporations and society (sociology) but i think it conflicts with some other class i'm taking. i'll be done with political science after this quarter and only have 16 units left for the sociology minor. i might need to take some kind of science class in order to graduate. figure all that out later.

  • 9-12-00 (19:30)

  • work sucky again. hopefully we can finish this job up tomorrow - i need money like none other.
  • busy again, kinda sucks.
  • got a doors album, a police album, and the magnolia soundtrack. i'm happy with the orders too bad columbia house won't be getting their money for a while.
  • need to buy some alcohol so i can pour it out for my fallen brothers - bill borchardt and tupac shakur.

  • 9-12-00 (01:54)

  • let's not talk about work.
  • mary and cute friend kelly came over today, mary wasn't nearly as immature in the company of kelly as she was with katie. watched a movie.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • work tomorrow could suck.
  • updated poll. i think it's a tough one and the "why" would be more interesting.
  • installed a fan for my receiver. it was free, has a nifty switch so that i can use it whenever i want, it's hidden, not too loud, and work really really well.
  • got platoon and some cds in the mail today. i order them when i have money and get them when i don't. such is life.

  • 9-10-00 (22:45)

  • back from the trip.
  • work really early tomorrow.
  • got to hang out with jesse and omar from the old track team. it was fun and made me realize that i don't have friends like that anymore.
  • updated movies list.
  • the trip was good, but there isn't much to say about it.
  • dentist on thursday, oakland on friday, busy week.
  • stp and red hot chili peppers had a concert today, oh well.
  • rage against the machine is playing la on the 12th and 13th, oh well.
  • ac/dc is playing with someone else good this weekend, also in la. oh well.
  • watched mtv2 while we were staying at occidental college...pretty cool station. cable is the devil.
  • room is still messy, need to sort that out tomorrow after work which starts early, but should end very early too.
  • guess i missed football today.
  • can't afford food.

  • 9-6-00 (02:57)

  • we leave tomorrow around noon for the trip to la. going to try and see as many people as i can while there, we'll see what happens.
  • phil's birthday is thursday, actually moving stuff in santa monica on friday, jon has a ucla football game on saturday, leave sunday...should be hectic.
  • watched a bunch of movies today.
  • updated movies list.
  • dvd player has been performing well overall. there have been only two or three minor glitches so far. verdict not in yet though.
  • got the mouse out of the house today, without killing it.

  • 9-5-00 (03:57)

  • been using icq and aol im more often lately. whoop whoop.
  • there is a mouse in the house. may or may not still be in my room. live and let live i guess. although i must admit the first thing i did was get my machete and flashlight.
  • my room is starting to take shape.
  • leaving for los angeles either the 6th or 7th.
  • all my duct tape is missing. duct tape is the shit.
  • FAIRFAX, Va. (AP) - Jonathan Taylor Spielberg and Steven Spielberg have one thing in common: a talent for fiction. That talent made Steven rich and famous. It could get Jonathan Taylor deported. He allegedly duped a Catholic high school into believing he was the nephew of the famous filmmaker, and the Immigration and Naturalization Service is seeking send him back to his native Iran. Spielberg, 27, legally changed his name from Anoushirvan D. Fakhran in 1997. In the fall of 1998 he enrolled at Paul VI Catholic High School, claiming that he was 14 and that Steven Spielberg was his uncle. School officials uncovered the scam in January, and Spielberg pleaded guilty to forgery for submitting phony forms to the school. He was given two years' probation. Federal agents took Spielberg into custody last week. He faces deportation because his forgery conviction violates his status as a permanent resident.
  • wow, not even vern will be able to pass for a 14 year old at 27.
  • bought more crap today for the dvd player so that it would work despite copyright bs. it ended up being free because i whored my name out to sprint long distance and msn. there was a hot chick working at radio shack.
  • i should buy water from now on, it's better and encourages drinking more.
  • speaking of drinking i need to buy some gin and peppermint schnaps to pour out for my fallen homies - tupac and bill borchardt who both died on september 13.
  • i'm sure i'm going to be playing plenty of frisbee golf this year since the course is about 20 yards from my front door.

  • 9-4-00 (21:39)

  • it's amazing how consistently inconsistent computers really are. sound comes out of my computer now. whatever.
  • i need to get a computer power supply so that i can hook it up to my huge fan and cool my receiver which is now housed in a particle board slot.
  • room is more or less finished in terms of the big stuff. now i need to fill the furniture and closet. both closets in this place are too big. i might put my dresser inside or anything vern needs stored away.

  • 9-4-00 (20:00)

  • found a site that has a new beastie boys live show up every week on mp3. it's great. the beastie boys even say "sharing with friends is okay, selling for profit is not."
  • bookcase is up and somewhat decent looking. some of the shelves are a pain to adjust.
  • i'm not getting any sound from my computer. really really really really annoying. cds play off it, the line in works, but i can't play wave files or mp3s for that matter.
  • i think i have the mental problems of a rock star, without the talent.

  • 9-4-00 (15:00)

  • wise is the person who knows when to stand alone and when to thunder with the herd.
  • i hate it when people say they are kidding when they really aren't. it's worse than just lying.
  • jon and monique are back together again.
  • vern finally bought the vespa, 2600 big ones.
  • we might not be going to la now, at this point that is fine by me.

  • 9-3-00 (22:23)

  • pretty much moved in finally.
  • updated movies list.
  • i have no money, but keep spending it.
  • money causes too many problems.
  • i care about too many things and don't care about some things that i probably should. it's not wise to care about things because levelers will always drop on new dvd players, shelves will always be too long or too short, and cars won't always work.
  • my phone number is the same, my room is bigger, rent is bigger, boredom factor is bigger, this year will be interesting.
  • moving sucks.
  • i need to start asking my friends for more favors.
  • i also don't think i'm well equiped to have friends.

  • 8-30-00 (19:39)

  • BYU grooming codes:
  • Men
  • A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
  • Women
  • A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles and colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than two per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
  • mission statement..."All students at BYU should be taught the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Any education is inadequate which does not emphasize that His is the only name given under heaven whereby mankind can be saved. Certainly all relationships within the BYU community should reflect devout love of God and a loving, genuine concern for the welfare of our neighbor."
  • i don't think i've eaten anything today.
  • i want to move sooner rather than later.
  • went to the video store and talked to emily. she moves on friday i guess it's better that way anyway.
  • i've got movies to watch, but i don't feel like watching them right now. i feel more like a big burger with some seasoned fries and an oreo cookie shake or maybe one of those fresh fruit shakes from hamburger hamlet. hamburger hamlet was cool while it lasted.
  • i've listened to wyclef's new album a few times today, the same goes for rage's first album. the first half of wyclef's album is better than the second.
  • played some quake today. watch out because it might make me go on a killing spree. how ridiculous.
  • got the two fenders from jc whitney today, that means i have everything i need to take the car in to get painted.
  • my standards are too high for the now atrophied mister willie.
  • rock and jazz both have performers who are considered the greatest innovators genre. they have an artist, or group, that stands out as having really progressed the art over a good amount of time with consistency. the beatles and miles davis both did far and away more than anybody else had ever done. i wonder if that will happen in hip-hop or techno. there are greats in each, there are consistent performers in each, there are fathers of each, but neither seems to have a far and away stand out group that match up to miles davis in jazz or the beatles in rock.
  • public enemy has done a lot of things to advance hip-hop but they aren't as consistently great as the beatles were. afrika bambaataa did a lot to start new school hip-hop and even techno, but wasn't at all consistent. in this sense the beatles are pretty amazing. if you think about everything miles davis did for jazz it's like four lifetimes' worth. kraftwerk are basically the fathers of techno, but didn't have anywhere near the same output as miles davis or even the beatles. just try and name a hip-hop or techno act that has come out with 13 albums...miles davis came out with closer to 30.

  • 8-30-00 (02:32)

  • there are some pieces of art that just hit the right spot. there are great pieces of music that never hit that spot, but are still great. then there are the pieces of art that are so poignant that they hit the spot everytime and will live forever. i think this is why simon and garfunkel, pink floyd, tupac, nirvana, et al. will live in infamy. something about artists like that which will inspire and move every generation from now on. the same is true, of course, for film. it's a wonderful life is a classic example...magnolia i hope will be looked upon in the same way, one flew over the cuckoo's nest....
  • there are those, too, that have elements of social commentary which will be historical landmarks of the time. bob dylan, public enemy, pink floyd, nirvana, devo, bob marley, dead kennedys, u2, krs-one, et al. in terms of movies i think "in the heat of the night" falls in that category. speaking of which i updated movieslist.
  • there are some very redeeming qualities of plato's republic. families are separated at birth so you must (in theory) function as if everyone is your brother and sister. i like this.
  • i come up with some wack shit sometimes. i honestly don't know why i started thinking about plato/socrates.
  • what happened to white people that makes them suck so much?
  • if i become a teacher i'm going to have to avoid such questions. honestly though...what lead white males from europe to have such an overwhelming desire to colonize, control, and convert non-whites? is it inherent within all and just a matter of whites having advanced quicker than others? that is, if non-whites had reached industrialization before europeans would they end up trying to colonize? no one knows i guess, but i'm sure there are brilliant people out there with views on it and i bet you they don't agree either.
  • so there are brilliant conservatives and brilliant liberals. brilliant republicans and brilliant democrats. so where does that leave us?
  • good news - my car shipment is slotted to come sometime this week so there shouldn't be any trouble because of the move after all.
  • my phone number remains the same, as well as the song. i think vern will get that one and maybe johnny.
  • often my music allusions go over peoples' heads. it's almost like when my grandparents start talking about movies or books, good lord what a sight to behold.
  • now that i think about it i pretty much have only one side of my family. i wonder what would have happened if i had been raised in alabama with my other grandfather. nature or nuture? i'm guessing i'd own a gun by now. i'm sure i would have bagged my first big game by now too. a nice deer or something. i would have skinned it, cooked it up, and put its head on a piece of stained wood. one day it would hang over my fireplace and mary-anne and i would sit on our rocking chairs, me with my pipe, her with her knitting materials. we'd sit there and rock.
  • honestly - why is it okay to kill lettuce, but not okay to kill deer? why is it okay to eat cow, but not dog?
  • i'm against domestication of animals. if you must have a cat or dog then you should get one off death row, i mean the pound. what's more, you should treat this animal like a member of the family, anything less is inhumane. when i'm 60 and can give enough time to pets i will get a dog from the pound and let it eat off the table. it will eat from the same t-bone as i. it can sit up on the chair for all i care, or maybe i'll just lay on the floor and eat with it. just the dog and me. ahhh, that's the life. i'll have a hearing aid and a fake set of teeth. i'll be sterile because i drink too much mountain dew and play the bass on my stereo to loudly.
  • cars are the coolest piece of engineering you see everyday.
  • this is emily's last week. i might see her when i drop off the video tomorrow.
  • i don't know where my rubberband is, i need to get some more.
  • jesus came over today. that's hay-sus (roommate from freshman year), not god's son jesus. hay-sus was in a foreign country on a "mission" (presumably from god). while he was there he helped orphans, he prayed for them, and "interacted with them." i was tempted to ask how many converts he got, but socialization kicked in (it rarely does these days). i want to go to a foreign country and feel real good about changing the way people live by showing them the light, the way, the western way, the way of god, etc. it would give me such a happy feeling inside. especially if i thought i was doing a noble thing by showing them that the afterlife is all that matters.
  • don't go crying for an afterlife while they steal this one. i think malcolm x would agree.
  • i think smoking too much crack has made this update more exciting than i had anticipated. maybe i should sleep.

  • 8-29-00 (22:00)

  • got my new portable cd player, it's really inexpensive and works well. i have it hooked up so that i can play cds and listen to the quake sound effects at the same time which is nice. it doesn't sound as nice as when it goes straight through my receiver, but it's decent enough.
  • played some golf today with vern, vern's cousin (allison), and jon. that was fun. we went on the driving range and then did some practice holes on the putting green. i'd say that allison is cooler than most any other girl i've met while in college. that goes to show you how lame the selection has been this year. allison is also 14 so maybe she hasn't been soiled yet.
  • in other news: we cleaned much of the house today. the kitchen is still a bit dirty.
  • phil comes up tomorrow around 9pm.
  • looks like we might be able to get vern to come down to la now which will be cool, i think we'll have fun. it's everything a road trip should be.
  • i should just pretend i have a girlfriend from now on. i should have mock phone calls in the middle of movies. i should stay on the phone for hours and then come out with a long face and tell everyone how we've been on the rocks lately. then the next day i'll we'll have great make-up sex and i'll be cheery again. note to friends: from now on 6 hours out of the day will be spent with "cassandra" sorry if you wanted to hang out.
  • i think david lean needs to have hired a good editor for his movies.
  • we picked up another paint job today. we'll just tell student works that we forgot about it, but we'll paint it anyway. i think we should make some profit on this mutha.
  • i think nader will go down in the books like debs.
  • i'm going to vote nader. it's retarded to vote gore just because it's going to be a close race. my vote doesn't matter either way so i may as well vote the way i want to vote. at this point i want to vote anything other than the major two so nader seems the logical choice, just to make a point.
  • 113 thousand votes separated nixon and kennedy.
  • i don't want kids, ever. i think people should stop breeding for a couple years.
  • i re-realized today that this world sucks nut.
  • jim kurring (john c. reilly in magnolia) is the absolute shit. i love hime like none other.
  • i think i'm my own best friend. not sure if that is pitiful or really cool.
  • freedom is tricky business.
  • i realized yesterday when i was warming up my car that malcolm is the shit. he sounds so damned good.

  • i am a tard
    8-29-00 (00:54)
  • didn't do anything of much import today.
  • vern were deciding what we should do when mary (jon's second girlfriend) and her friend, katie, walked in. jon is SF, but they didn't care so we went to jamba juice, border's, and then saw a movie back at home. i'm going to send their parents the bill in the mail.
  • tomorrow is slated to be hectic. lots of cleaning. a few errands i should run, one being getting a refund for phil's abandoned train ticket.
  • soundgarden is better than i remember.
  • looked at a "top 1000 albums ever" book today. those lists are always fun because i never agree with them...nor does anyone so they are the center of debate. at any rate, this one was put out by virgin megastores and had zero hip-hop albums in the top 130. they had a few techno albums (prodigy's two big ones, chemical bros...) they had jazz, blues, even country all within the top 130 albums. the 131st album was public enemy's "it takes a nation of millions to hold us back." i think it's sad that the best hip-hop album, to them, couldn't crack the top 130.
  • for the record: i think the beastie boys' "paul's boutique" is a better album than public enemy's, but they're both great and i can see how pe's album would be chosen over paul's boutique.
  • the first four were revolver, the white album, abbey road, and nevermind. i like the beatles, but they're overrated.
  • one last note on this crappy list: led zepplin didn't make an appearance until after prince (the artist) in the mid-30s. there aren't 30 albums better than led zeppelin IV, there are maybe 10, at best.
  • i revised my favorites page so that the cd section is easier for me to do. i have it separated in groups now...top ten, top thirty, etc. there are more than 10 in the top ten, that means some might be tied. it's called an easy out. as opposed to your mom, who is an easy in.
  • that one was too easy.
  • owning all the beatles albums will fuck up my whole damned system. i can avoid them now because i don't own them on cd, but once i do then they're going to demand i high place on my cd case and a high place on my rankings list.
  • luke finally updated his fucking fucking fucking website.

  • 8-28-00 (01:32)

  • wyclef's new album is different. not as good, but it's growing on me. some of the beats are off the hook, crazy mad ill, if you know what i mean. kenny rogers makes a cameo and wyclef combines country and rap, it's actually good. that's why wyclef has skills. both wyclef cds have cd-text which is cool because my cd player supports it.
  • went to the video store twice today. as it turned out the video store girl was there both times. i told her about my 300 movie goal and told her about my charming personality, we had sex. actually we only talked for a couple minutes. this is her last week working there so time for me to do nothing is limited.
  • made some apple pie tonight, it's almost all gone.
  • updated movies list. stacy came over, we also had sex.
  • i think i'm beyond having a relationship. i say beyond because i realize that they're pretty much a waste at this point.
  • if jon comes back home tomorrow then we'll clean the house, if not, then i'll have no part in it. or maybe i'll just get fed up with it and clean anyway. i want not to unless everyone is present. we'll see.
  • phil says he's coming up on wednesday.
  • vern says he doesn't want a five day vacation because 15 bucks a day plus food is too much to pay.
  • there are some things in life i will never understand.
  • streaming video on the internet is a joke, especially when you only have a modem.
  • i think clinton is in the upper half of the presidents, but i think he did his fair share of idiotic things. "welfare reform" not being the least of them. there is an article called "the worst thing bill clinton ever did" it's about welfare reform. i have mixed feelings on nafta. creating jobs is good, creating minimum wage, part time, non-benefit yielding jobs is not. the rich are still getting richer, the poor - poorer. americans are still without health care, though that is more the fault of republicans, i think.
  • "acting like you drink alcohol, when all you do is throw up."
  • i barely could recognize jon voight in catch-22...man has he aged.
  • the only woman in paths of glory happened also to be kubrick's wife. she did a really good job in the movie too.
  • i just realized that bill borchardt died exactly one year after tupac. i'll have to pour out some extra juice for another fallen comrade.
  • kinda updated my favorites page.

  • 8-27-00 (01:22)

  • search for one-eyed jimmy is on tv. it's a funny movie.
  • watched patton. updated movieslist.
  • if a war movie ends in the army rejoicing then i think the whole movie has missed the fucking point of war.
  • i'm very interested in the history of war, though i know very little about it. i'll do something about that tomorrow.
  • 130 movies left to watch, 126 days left in the year. i really have slacked off this last week.
  • today was spent alone, but was not entirely lonely.
  • put a kvie (local pbs station) sticker in my car today. it's one of those that sticks because of static electricity rather than glue. works for me.
  • i should watch two movies tomorrow and get a couple more for monday.
  • scott won't be here monday so i guess cleaning will be delayed.
  • i really hope we get our security deposit back, if we do i'll splurge and buy some textbooks this quarter.
  • november 7th is the new release date for fatboy slim's album. we'll see about that.

  • 8-26-00 (21:45)

  • there's a toyota truck commercial that shows a pickup truck going off on some trail bumping about and such. eventually is stops and deposits a green liquid that has been accumulating during this trip on the trail. the liquid is then stored in a container labeled "adrenaline." the commercial isn't anything great, but if one could bottle adrenaline surely prodigy's "music for the jilted generation" would be the source for infinite amounts of the said adrenaline.
  • played quake while listening to prodigy at a very loud volume, it was excellent.
  • i haven't really eaten today. had a sandwich which was good.
  • bought some chrome cleaner for my car...holy shit it works really really well. polished up the bumper, which was once rusted beyond recognition, to a nice shine. did the same for three out of four hubcaps...the fourth is damaged so i may as well buy a new one. best thing about this chrome cleaner is it's cheap and goes a long way, even though i spilled much of it on the ground. retarded.
  • i wonder if vern got the scooter. i'm thinking he didn't since he hasn't called or emailed. that would be cool if he did though.
  • i think my car is the project i've been seeking out for so long...it's something i can work on every weekend if i want, it's something that will need work for quite a while, it's something rewarding, and it's something that is varied enough (interior, exterior, mechanical, audio, etc.) that won't get boring. on the down side it costs money, lots of it.
  • the niners keep losing close games, it sucks nutsack. i'm sorry i mean it sucks scrotum.
  • the raiders kicked ass over the seahawks so that's retribution for the niners. yay.
  • ted stossel (sp?), the idiot from 20/20 - not connie chung - the other idiot, was going off about how society takes drug use among politicians lightly yet prosecute people for possession of drugs harshly. he's right in that there is a hypocrisy there, but he's still a moron.

  • 8-26-00 (15:19)

  • here's what kind of weirdo i am: today i was worrying that i wasn't being a fair owner to my stereo equipment. i tried to figure out what i could do to be a better person to my receiver and cd player. i am worried that they have a consciousness and if they do then i am basically enslaving them. i finally realized that there isn't much more i can do to be a better person in regards to my treatment of my stereo equipment. i don't let other people use it, i blow the fan towards it when it is hot, i don't abuse it, i don't leave it on all the time, i dust it regularly, i don't overload it, i'd say i'm pretty nice to my stereo equipment...i hope he thinks the same thing.
  • i think more people could relate if i were talking about my car...the fact is that i treat almost all my possessions with the same love as i do my stereo equipment and car.
  • there isn't much in life that one can control. something i feel i can, to a certain extent, control are my possessions. you can't control what your friends are going to do to you, what people think of you, the weather, the mistreatment of people across the globe, who becomes president, etc. you can try your best to control yourself and your possessions. the problem is that most of the time your possessions end up owning you... as long as i can stay away from that then i'll be okay in that regard
  • i think all of this babbling has wasted too much of everyone's time.
  • i burned the hell out of my finger tip last night.

  • 8-25-00 (23:17)

  • really didn't feel like watching "giant" tonight.
  • went to safeway and say this hottie who was in a couple of my poli sci classes, driving by in her jeep while listening to moby. i turned around and walked right by her as she was going to her car. instead of talking to her about moby or my chiseled chest i just kept walking. dumb.
  • then i got to the safeway parking lot and saw the video store girl in a jetta with her friend. she waved, i waved back. nothing there.
  • then i finally reached safeway and saw a guy who i could swear went to my high school. rather than asking him i shopped on my merry way.
  • it's 11pm on friday night. vern is at home, possibly with a new scooter, jon is at his tahoe home, scott is either at work or at a bar. this is what separates me from the rest of the college world.
  • my cd case looks a little nicer from now that the clear stain has dried.
  • my room is a little cleaner now that a bunch of my crap is in boxes.
  • i might be selling one of my gay monitors tomorrow for 10 bucks.
  • updated mp3list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • not only are relationships not for me, but dating isn't for me either. wow.
  • i can't convey to you how boring this all is right now. moving out in about 5 days, no one is around, all the packing that can be done has been done, cleaning will be done on monday, don't feel like watching a movie, icq is boring, a girlfriend would be nice in this situation.

  • 8-25-00 (19:04)

  • we stained the front door of our last job, that was interesting because the son was there with his friends one of which was a hot chick.
  • afterwards we went to the last ever payroll friday and said goodbye to everyone. i wore my "pimp the bitch" shirt and jon wore his "you're all whores" shirt. it was funny to us, but probably not to them.
  • vern is in santa clara looking over a scooter, he may come back on sunday with a new vehicle or not; we shall see.
  • got the new wyclef album, listening to it right now, sounds good. he's a really great producer.
  • people aren't meant to be happy, rather to pursue it (happiness) constantly. with all this industrialization and excess freedom and leisure time people get far along and then realize that happiness can't really be achieved by the methods society has set up.
  • the message is an exceedingly great song in every way possible. nothing pops out as a better song in the 80s, not right now anyway.
  • simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.
  • i've got three movies to watch...two are over 3 hours long.
  • i've also got some stain that i want to use on my cd case.
  • 20:40...stained the cd case, now i'm getting high on my own supply. i mean on the stain fumes.
  • i'm going to watch at least one movie today.

  • 8-25-00 (01:31)

  • the new rage against the machine video premieres tomorrow. it has a bunch of footage of various people like oliver north, clarence thomas, monica lewinsky, bill clinton, the big seven ceos (of the big seven tobacco companies), etc all raising their right hands to an oath. of course the obvious implication is that they're all the same in that they all have lied. it also cuts between gore and bush both saying, almost verbatim, the same things. the end of the video says that 50% of the american people won't vote because of a lack of real choices. it's a great video. if anyone can get it in any movie file format i would be forever indebted.
  • marc gave me a couple short shorts to read, which he had written. i liked them overall.
  • the last poets is a great black jazz poetry style group.

  • 8-24-00 (19:58)

  • finished our last job today. we were plenty underbudget too which means we have finally gotten our shit down.
  • there was a bmx style bike at the house. it had no brakes, but worked okay other than that so we gave it a whirl in the backyard. i have finally learned how to lift the rear wheel while riding. lifting the front wheel has always been easy, but lifting the rear wheel was a feat i had never reached until yesterday when jon learned me how. it's pretty dope to finally be able to do that. now all i need to do is lift the whole bike from the ground in one deft maneuver....
  • tomorrow is payroll friday. one last look at the capitalist scum that comprises student works painting.
  • i'm trying to get rid of worthless shit that has been accumulating in my room. got rid of a butt load last night, but still have some choices i need to make.
  • moving in just 7 days. starting school again in about 30.
  • a road trip is in the works for sometime early september. not sure if i mentioned it already. at any rate it could be cool, but it could cost a tidy sum as well. if we could figure some way to disable the odometer then we could get many miles for free and therefore make the trip much easier on everyone's pocket book. another problem is where we will sleep while in la. we shall see how/if it works out.
  • i'm pretty down with queen. even though they're pretty much a singles band they're pretty good.
  • vern is saving me 250 bucks by letting me use his monitor. whew.
  • paid for more insurance yesterday, quite a chunk. i think i'm going to start whoring myself out in september.

  • 8-23-00 (22:07)

  • wasted a couple hours of my life watching that survivor crap.
  • i'm on an elo trip.
  • there's a funny picture of vern on johnny's website. good fun.
  • luke and ryan should update their page once in a while.
  • we worked pretty quickly today. tomorrow we'll be done.
  • tribe called quest just about defines good hip-hop.
  • amazon is having a very tempting sale on a shit load of classic rock. (remember that shit load is more than a butt load, but less than a fuck load). at any rate, pretty much all the beatles albums are 12 bucks, same with led zeppelin, pink floyd, etc. i could get all the beatles albums and only be a couple hundred in debt. ha.
  • the jump feature on winamp rocks.
  • the poll results are shaping up to be somewhat interesting. some optimistic soul thinks i've already gotten laid. if only...

  • 8-23-00 (17:47)

  • cooked up my apple sausage a couple days ago and it was pretty damned good.

  • 8-22-00 (21:32)

  • phil is gone.
  • work was short today. this is our last official job and will probably end up being our last job of the summer.
  • there is talk of a trip down south in a rented uhaul truck. it would cost a lot though. phil seems to be moving in sometime in early september, last i heard.
  • i think feast or famine is a good way to live one's life.
  • 23:57...
  • marie has an ebay feedback rating of 17210 now. crazy.
  • don't bring me down is a great great song. elo, of course.
  • packed a bunch of shit tonight, that was good to do.
  • paths of glory is a great movie.
  • i think i have a bad memory. names definitely don't stick.
  • been getting a lot of rare nirvana lately. i want all their singles. singles are hard to come by...same with just about every band. music stores only keep the recent ones, online they either don't have them or rape you on the price. you should make a music store online that sells just singles.

  • 8-22-00 (01:32)

  • couldn't go to sleep last night, it sucked.
  • my tooth is a bit sore still, but overall good.
  • didn't work today because the rover had some heat problems. i was okay with not working.
  • watched 3 movies today and worked on the bug. phil helped me install some insulation. it'll help keep the car at a more steady temperature, which will be very nice in davisesque weather. it also should help dampen some road noise. it was cheap and a worth while project.
  • updated movies list.
  • looked online for a dvd player and a camcorder...just for shits and giggles. can get a really nice camcorder for 400 and a versatile dvd player for under 300.
  • insurance bill came today. also got a letter from bill clinton, finally.
  • anne heche broke up with ellen. i'm sorry, but i have to laugh. just as i laugh at macaulay culkin claiming he has met his "soulmate."
  • work tomorrow, this time for real.

  • 8-21-00 (01:47)

  • meet vern's brother today, didn't think that was ever going to happen.
  • played some kind of ultimate football game in the pool today. it was fun. phil's head meet my tooth though. my tooth is still sore which sucks.
  • rented two movies, watched zero. i'm officially behind schedule now which also sucks.
  • i could get a decent camcorder for under 300 bucks and a pretty nice one for under 400.

  • 8-20-00 (17:32)

  • today has been extremely boring except for the hour that tiger was playing some epic golf.
  • we have work tomorrow. i won't be able to sleep tonight.
  • i should rent a long movie or something.

  • 8-20-00 (03:23)

  • the day was boring again.
  • phil brought up his video camera so at night we filmed each other doing stupid things...from mock "cops" type stunts to riding on jesus at midnight. it was fun.
  • arla is gone from safeway forever and i missed saying goodbye. that sucks.
  • there isn't much to do on the computer these days.
  • my stomach hurts.
  • i can't wait to move and start over.
  • i want to build something.
  • i don't listen to soundgarden as much as i once did.
  • got another run dmc cd today. haven't had time to hear it though.
  • moving is going to cause problems for all the things i've ordered which haven't come yet. i'll have to sort all that out sometime next week.
  • somewhat sleepy.

  • 8-19-00 (02:34)

  • updated movies list.
  • went golfing today.
  • went to the dentist the other day.

  • 8-18-00 (13:50)

  • phil is here.
  • it's coming up on the time to start cleaning and packing up. moving should be a good thing.
  • haven't been watching many movies lately which is pretty stupid, i might go watch one today.
  • we've done absolutely nothing lately. jon is usually with mary at night so the rest of us sit around and grumble while watching tv.
  • i wish i hadn't woken up so early today...it would have been far more exciting to just sleep till 6pm or so.
  • phil says he's going to live in davis next month...with jon and monique. that would be interesting.
  • rage against the machine put on a surprise concert in front of the democratic national convention to protest the two party system...while Ozomatli played a riot ensued. i think ratm is cool.
  • still bored.

  • 8-16-00 (00:02)

  • phil comes tomorrow
  • i have work tomorrow
  • bought some supplies for the bookcase i'm going to be making.
  • updated movies list.

  • 8-15-00 (04:09)

  • woke up at 4pm today, that was fun.
  • updated movies list.
  • today was pretty much useless.
  • watched bridge over the river kwai finally. it was really really annoying throughout most of it. there isn't anything more annoying than pompous brits. i think william holden saved the movie. actually the ending saved the movie more than anything else. wasn't quite worth 2 hours 40 mins.
  • we have work wednesday. phil might be coming up tuesday night or maybe wednesday night.
  • jon got kicked out of davis, but then got back in again. no surprise in either direction there.
  • updated editorial page. i doubt it makes any sense at 4:30am. then again war doesn't make sense anyway.
  • i should probably sleep before i get anymore screwed up.

  • 8-12-00 (23:32)
  • i judge many things by their best or worst. this is why magnolia holds such a high place in my heart or why dan marino will never be a great quarterback in my mind.
  • led zeppelin albums are like potato chips - you can't have just one. whenever i listen to a led zeppelin album i want to listen to another after the first is done. i'm listening to led zeppelin I and soon i'll be listening to led zeppelin III.
  • mom came up today.
  • updated movies list.
  • somewhere in this world there is probably a person named jacob matthews. i wonder what his story is.
  • baked an apple pie today, it tastes good.
  • need to get a new monitor soon because the one i use now is borrowed. i should sell my other semi-working monitors as well.
  • i'm better suited to live in the 60s. political movements, great music, free love, good cars, etc.

  • 8-12-00 (01:03)

  • updated movies list.
  • there was a hot chick at the video store today. i didn't make much of an effort, such is my life.
  • doc came over and slept through half of the movie.
  • today was very boring.
  • updated stupid poll, answer honestly it should be interesting.

  • 8-11-00 (02:07)

  • so there's a dilemma arising...nirvana wants to move ahead of black sabbath, metallica wants to move ahead of nirvana, the doors just moved ahead of guns and roses. pink floyd wants to be ahead of guns and roses and the doors and will likely do so. some of the problem lies in the fact that i have all the good black sabbath albums, all the nirvana albums, all the metallica albums, all the guns and roses albums, and almost all the doors albums. this shifting is very important because it all takes place within the top ten. i can foresee pink floyd moving up big time just because i haven't gotten several of their albums still. then of course there are the beastie boys and rage against the machine, both bands have not finished making albums so they could make a run on each other, or even led zeppelin.
  • led zeppelin, beastie boys, rage against the machine, black sabbath, nirvana, metallica, the doors, guns and roses, pink floyd, ac/dc, ccr, deep purple, stp, jimi hendrix, rolling stones, red hot chili peppers, elo...
  • that wasted a lot of space.

  • 8-10-00 (19:16)

  • seinfeld is coming up soon.
  • this week has pretty much sucked large hairy nuts.
  • worked today which will be nice when i get the money.
  • didn't learn very much today because i was working. talked to old man who paints his own tractors piece by piece. he seemed cool. he has a son who does autobody work, but is too busy to work on anymore cars.
  • i want to get an internship at an automotive repair place. i think cars are extremely cool.
  • bought a vw magazine last night with money i have only temporarily.
  • doc has been visiting a lot lately, this is good. not as good as pink floyd's "dark side of the moon"
  • gave my sister simon and garfunkel's "bridge over troubled water" - she better recognize its greatness.
  • got three more cds today (in mail) two by the doors and one by eazy-e. cdlist updated. my ac/dc and doors collections have rounded out quite well in recent weeks.
  • nirvana is begging to pass up metallica. with metallica's recent decision to sell their souls i might oblige nirvana's wish.
  • i should cook food and watch tv.

  • 8-9-00 (20:42)

  • if one says 'fuck' too often then it loses its meaning...the same applies to thank you, sorry, please, love, and many other words.
  • updated movies list.
  • there are some movies that may be flawed in their construction, but when you look back on them all the good things stick out...those movies are the kind i really like. serpico and vanishing point are of that type.
  • bought a hammer and crowbar today.

  • 8-9-00 (14:04)

  • looked on the library of congress page and it seems that ted kazcynski's book was never released, although it was supposed to be published last year. i guess i should have expected it.
  • i woke up about 10 minutes ago and have already learned about super and turbochargers on cars...very cool stuff.
  • the new porsche 911 turbo kicks some major ass. 0-60 in 3.9, 192 top speed, excellent handling, gas mileage which is better than a lot of suvs and it's twin-turbocharged. it's also cheaper than equivalent aston martins and ferraris.

  • 8-9-00 (01:18)

  • here is an article about how to fit in at kdvs...it's pretty much right on; so much so it's sick.
  • updated movies list.
  • got chased by the po-po (police) today while on jesus. eventually i stopped and he yelled at me to come toward him. i told him i was going back home to get a coupon for blockbuster video. he told me i needed to have a motorcycle license and helmet for jesus. i played dumb and asked him more questions along this line to seem concerned and ignorant. he answered them like the knowledgeable and nice officer that he is. finally he let me go without any problems...i was free and he felt like a good man/cop.
  • donated 120 bucks to kvie (local pbs station) today. i think i get a book in return. it's only money.
  • i have realized that i will be forced to spend a lot of money in the next months...books, first and last months rent, furniture, other moving in/out costs, etc.
  • i learned more today than i did yesterday.
  • it seems people have an idealized view of their relationships. macaulay culkin sure did. people always have people in their life they think will remain friends for a very long time, usually that doesn't end up being the case. if someone is realistic about this then it's considered bad, i've never understood this.
  • i'm still trying to find kazcynski's book...it seems as though it never existed....the publisher says it has halted publication of it. sounds like the man to me.
  • the kitchen is clean again.
  • we haven't worked since friday and i have no idea when we are going to work again. although jon asked me at midnight if i was willing to work the next day (the next day being 8 hours from when he asked me). of course i said no.
  • the good thing about not being in power or having many friends or having many plans with the friends i do have is that when i make an impulsive decision it doesn't affect anyone. one more reason not to have a wife.

  • 8-7-00 (23:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • Macaulay Culkin and his wife are splitting up, it's amazing how predictable that was.

  • 8-7-00 (19:12)

  • chris on being a DJ: i've thought about not being a dj next year. being a dj, for me, is about playing music i enjoy. if i have a co-dj then it should be a cooperative effort. when being a dj becomes more about catering to an audience or worrying about what my audience does or does not enjoy then it isn't as fun for me. this is somewhat against what most djs believe. last quarter the radio show wasn't as fun as it had been in the past. my co-dj played his music and i played mine, there was little or no cooperation. thus i think i will not become a dj next year unless i have my own slot or we have a late night slot which will open up our show a little more to experimentation and probably be more fun.
  • i can foresee senior year being very crappy.

  • 8-7-00 (17:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • updated cd list. tower is constantly changing their layout around, kind of annoying, but i like how it looks now. picked up the new rage against the machine single - on the cover is fists of freedom picture...the classic 1968 olympics medal ceremony picture. i also picked up coltrane's 1965 ground breaking free jazz album - "ascension."

  • Tommie Smith and John Carlos after placing 1st and 3rd in the 200m race at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics.
  • the home shopping network was selling 500 and 1000 dollar bills on tv the other day. i think the 500 was going for 1000 bucks and the 1000 was going for 2500. that's pretty sad.
  • i have about 100 bookmarks and i use about 5 of them on a regular basis.
  • so lieberman is going to run with gore. i guess that's good in that gore is more likely to win now. anything to ensure that gwb doesn't get elected is okay by me.
  • "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security..."
  • "They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends..."
  • Declaration of Independence
  • i learned a lot of stuff today. i also fixed my toilet bowl, finally.

  • 8-6-00

  • "i'm an average nobody, i get to live the rest of my life like a schnook." - goodfellas
  • updated movies list. 154.
  • in vanishing point the DJ talks about the "last american hero...the super driver of the golden west..." it's a great little speech. guns and roses used it in "breakdown" (one of their best songs) and when i think about it i know i have heard it in another song somewhere else. jon thinks it was in a techno song, i'm not sure, but either way it's a good sample.
  • checked out my counter information to see who has been visiting my site. it was the first time i had done so in a while. i found six hits from ethiopia so i'll assume those were monique. pretty cool to have a hit from ethiopia on my site.
  • fed the fish next door. that was the highlight of my day.
  • obi wan died today, phil will be crushed when he hears.
  • "set the controls for the heart of the sun" - great track on ummagumma, the live album.
  • i like having a lot of hard drive space. 13.4 gigs free is a good amount. oh and then there's the 2+ gigs free on the other hard drive. i sent phi his hard drive last week, that was useful while i borrowed it.
  • not sure why, but i updated my everything list. it has all my mp3s in one fat list. really it's useless except for being able to see how many mp3s i have including the beastie boys stuff. 841 with 56hrs 44mins worth of stuff.
  • i think that moving will be a good opportunity to slim down, like johnny. i have a lot of stuff that i probably don't need. i might get rid of some useless furniture and build something that is more suitable, not sure yet. i need a place to put my movies. my bookshelf has only two shelves, it's kind of dumb. i need to think vertically.
  • luke and ryan's page is hardly ever updated. i wonder if they'll update it while in college. i wonder if luke will still be going out with jenny. i don't have much faith in any relationships at this point.
  • johnny updates his webpage more than expected, that's good.
  • "it's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings" - nirvana
  • i'm moving in less than a month.
  • i'm too critical of peoples' music tastes. i hope i'm not an old man who claims that the only good music is led zeppelin and pink floyd. that would be elitist and close-minded, that would be bad. i don't know anyone who has enough knowledge of music to seriously criticize music based purely on artist merit. i don't know what makes good music good or bad music bad. and i wouldn't have it any other way. the last thing i want to do is tell someone that their favorite band uses syncopation awkwardly, has no sense of chordal progression, and lacks any semblance of cohesion.
  • kdvs has a good group of people, unless you get them started on music in which case they will often times be very judgemental and elitist.
  • mike d watched strangers on a train recently while recovering from surgery. the tour will happen in a few months, i'll be there.
  • bs 2000 pt. 2 is coming out later in the year. hell yes. rage against the machine is coming out with a covers type album sometime, but i try not to find out exactly when because these things seem to always get pushed back. zach de la rocha is supposed to be working on something too. then there is the oct. 12th beastie boys dvd. so i guess i'll need a dvd player by oct. 12th.
  • not only is mike d watching strangers on a train, but he is also listeing to Jagjit Singh. so i went to amazon.com (per the link on the beastie boys site) and read the reviews...one review is from "A music fan from New York, USA"...I'd be willing to bet 50 bucks and my left nut that this "music fan" is mike d.
  • that 50 bucks and my left nut quote is from planes, trains, and automobiles...del griffith (john candy) says it when betting that the plane is landing in chicago...sure enough it ends up in Omaha...from there neil page and del griffith attempt to get to chicago via planes, trains, and automobiles in time for thanksgiving.
  • so here's the theory...people usually care about your criminal record up to a few years ago...when you apply for a job they often only ask if you have been convicted of a felony up to 5 years ago. i think the same should apply for your sex life. so in my case i've pretty much never done anything with a girl because all wrong doing has been cleared off my record. sure there were two relapses, but i'm no longer a felon.
  • i don't like paying for anything i can do myself. i don't think i'll ever hire a maid, i don't want to pay for car washes, i won't pay anyone to paint my house, now that i know how to do it myself. maybe one of these days my time will be so precious that i'll have to pay someone to do these things, but i'm hoping not. i think it is fair to measure how enslaved one is by how much their time is worth. enslaved to what is the only difference. one can be enslaved to the family in which case it's not so bad, it's actually expected. if i say i don't want to have kids i'm automatically weird. this is for obvious reasons. where we let go of our natural desires and where we hang on to them is interesting. it's good to have kids, it's bad to want more than one sexual partner.
  • paths of glory had some really kick ass dialogue, esp. in parts. jim thompson worked on the screenplay. my dad has a shit load (more than a butt load, less than a fuck load) of his books.
  • winamp has a fuck load of skins. johnny made one of them.
  • no work tomorrow, in fact i don't really know when we're going to have work again.
  • i can't foresee myself pursuing a woman any time soon. i really haven't seen anybody worth pursuing in a long time.
  • i watched more tv than i wish to admit today...luckily about 4 hours of it was worthwhile because of the two movies i saw. i still felt very bored by today.
  • hopefully tomorrow it's cool enough to sleep in past 12.

  • 8-6-00 (01:12)

  • updated movies list. i now own 5 kubrick films. paths of glory was great. saw it about 10 years ago, but obviously i didn't remember much of it. when i give my critiques i should start getting really arty. paths of glory was a tour de force of film making. it reminded me of a winter's walk along the snowy plains of siberia. i especially enjoyed kubrick fervent adhesion to themes of...what a crock.
  • jon invited mary over. we played basketball. then they went to watch a movie. i built a house out of q-tips with kim (jon's sister).
  • i made a cobbler today. it is decent, not as fluffy as could be. too much butter and cream used in the dough and i used baking soda instead of baking powder. all things considered it actually came out pretty well. serve warm with a dabble of vanilla.
  • i'm going to return my video card. i installed it and cute ftp would crash when i opened it. this is unacceptable so fuck that. i will not have contamination of my precious bodily fluids. ha ha ha kubrick.
  • the great thing about the simpsons is that the more you know, the more you'll laugh. it always has references to movies, tv shows, pop culture, etc. i like that.

  • 8-5-00 (00:25)

  • woke up and went to work by 1pm because we didn't have much work to do. ended up leaving the job site at 9:30pm because we had much work to do. packing was a bitch. vern wasn't there because he's in santa cruz again so the going was slower.
  • saw about 50 hot chicks in the pizza parlor today and i realized that i'll never get a girlfriend and will forever be single. a jefferson airplane tune rings in my head...
  • moby's "play" is really great, but you knew that.
  • my mom is cool, so is my grandmother.
  • my feet are really tired. my injuries never get better because i'm on my feet all day and walking on uneven surfaces. going up ladders and coming down on hoses isn't helpful either.
  • bought a ankle brace.
  • scott bought a motorcycle. 650cc, 601ccs bigger than jesus.
  • i'm going to hopefully make some apricot/blueberry cobbler tomorrow.
  • our kitchen is worse than i had ever thought possible.
  • phil might come up in not too long for another visit.
  • no movie today, bad news. paid yesterday, good news.
  • got a video card today. or should i say, it came today. install tomorrow?
  • i want to play basketball, but i probably shouldn't for a while so that my ankle can fully recover.
  • that's about all there is to say.

  • 8-3-00 (23:43)

  • no matter how much you hope to or think you do control your life, you really don't.
  • updated movies list.
  • talked to johnny today, that was cool.
  • i'm glad i have a new basketball now.

  • 8-3-00 (17:53)

  • if you think about something then you generally care about it. if you don't think about it then it might be safe to say that you don't care about it. the time spent caring about something might indicate how much you care about it. most people who care about their family and friends think about them and what they have to say. if someone tells me that i do something that really bothers them or hurts them then i do the following: determine how much i care about this person. determine how much i care about the think that bothers them so. if the thing that bothers them is an integral part of my personality then i will most likely not change. i weigh how much i care about the person, how much i care about the issue they've addressed and then decide whether to elminate that behavior from my interaction with them or not.
  • i had a friend who did not like it when i said a certain word around him. i determined that the word was not of enough importance in relation to his friendship so i dropped it from my vocabulary when around him. when i do slip up i say sorry for it. because he told me about being bothered and because i responded in a rational fashion i was able to keep his friendship and make my interactions with him all the more smooth and fun.
  • "love, love, is a verb. love is a do word." if this is true then really love is just an extension or way of demostrating your care for a person.
  • it makes me think that caring has a lot to do with life. how much one cares about a situation determines how they deal with it. the other part of that would be their perception of the issue's importance. republicans perceive gun safety as less of a problem than democrats. based upon that and how much they care about gun safety in relation to other issues, or the amount of money they get, they decide what to do about gun safety.
  • some people decide not to care about things. they are apathetic. apathy is a disease in a country where people die, starve, and suffer every day without people caring. because people don't care they often don't vote. they also don't perceive participation manifested in voting as a worthy activity. this is a factor in people not caring about voting.
  • malcolm x cared almost too much. lincoln cared so much that it showed on his face. stress is caused by caring. i don't care too much about my grades so i don't stress about it. one must choose what they care about and to what degree. i care about friends and family because, after all, what is a friend who doesn't care?
  • hopefully you care too.
  • what's cool about people like johnny is that if they care about something they'll tell you. there's not much mystery, not much guessing. it makes things a lot easier. i try to be like that by telling people how i feel more often than i used to.

  • 8-3-00 (00:34)

  • today was a short and very very hot work day. tomorrow we hope to finish this job and rest on friday.
  • i should sleep.
  • went to the spa tonight which was relaxing.
  • there has been some talk of doing a few under the table jobs and with the money going to ibiza for a couple weeks. it would be a good experience, but it would cost a grip of dough and there are many obstacles. we shall see.
  • got three movies in the mail today. killing, paths of glory, and one flew over the cuckoo's nest. three greats.
  • bought a basketball, small binoculars, and an ankle brace today.

  • 8-2-00 (01:11)

  • jon invited mary over tonight to watch a movie. she came and we did a really crappy job of being entertaining. it's no wonder i don't get any chicks. sad.
  • work is a little later than usual tomorrow. good.
  • tired.
  • sloop john b. is probably my favorite beach boys tune.
  • updated movies list.

  • 8-1-00 (18:03)

  • finished up the same job we finished up this time last week. that was fun. last week the problem was that we needed 4 gallons of paint and only had 3. this week we bought 4 and used 3, go figure.
  • people say ummagumma (by pink floyd) isn't very good, but i think they smoke crack.
  • eating out today, i waste a lot of money on eating out people. i waste a lot of money on eating people out. i waste a lot of money on eating out, people. people, i waste a lot of money on eating out.
  • this is a waste of time.

  • archives are where they always are.

    7-31-00 (22:58)

  • july has been a long month. filled with birthdays, broken cars, lack of money, then surpluses of money, then again a lack of money, painting, and re-painting.
  • it's really hot here which sucks fairly large sized balls. in fact it's almost 11pm and still 86 inside the house.
  • i want ever other day to be a day off. we got a good amount of work done today which is nice. tomorrow we re-paint the interior of the same house we did last week. it's always fun to redo work you've already done.
  • no movie today which isn't good news.
  • tomorrow is food at the mexican restaurant where we will seen mary and onita. should be great fun.
  • tired.

  • 7-30-00 (22:44)

  • updated movies list.
  • there's a program called gnutella which i finally got around to getting. it's like napster only it allows you to search for more than just mp3s. it has a feature where you can see what people are searching for...a new search comes up litterally several times a second because there are so many people online. it ranges from music to operating systems or games. one problem with it is that it kills your bandwidth very quickly.
  • one of the cds i bought yesterday was a hip-hop crew which i met in kdvs one time...the cd is actually pretty good, it was only 2 bucks at rasputin.
  • woke up at 2pm today, didn't do much today. i did look at the sending unit on my car, it seems to work, it might be that the cable is sticky. i know how to change brake and shifting cables on bikes, maybe it's the same routine with the gas tank on my car.
  • cleaned my room yesterday, but it's messy again. i just have too much stuff. i think i might start trying to simplify like johnny.
  • my new phone battery is working well. i also have three backup phones in case this new battery decides to suck it up.

  • 7-30-00 (02:40)

  • parties are definitely not for me. the party we were supposed to go to was canceled so we went to some stupid one in davis which featured a keg, lots of stupid guys, and few decent girls. vern walked home. i drove kim (jon's sister) and jon to jack in the crack. while we were there we saw two girls who couldn't get inside because only the drive thru is open after 1am. i told them they could get in the car and order something with us. then we drove them home. meanwhile we all talked about the weather or something.
  • after we dropped them off jon and i decided that we should turn around and knock on their door in order to acquire their phone numbers. we are dorks. so we went back to the apartment where we dropped them off and rang the doorbell three times. no answer. then we went to another apartment they said they were going to rent starting in september. jon rang the doorbell, again no answer. we saw a jack in the box bag in front of the door so we knew we were close. then kim saw them walking up ahead. we drove up to them and asked for their numbers. they didn't really seem too taken aback by it even though we had dropped them off 5 minutes ago and were now almost aimlessly wandering through arlington apartments trying to find them. it was borderline stalking, but it worked. they don't have phones yet since they're just moving into these apartments so they gave us the apartment numbers were they would be staying and asked for our numbers.
  • all in all it was an interesting ride, but i highly doubt anything will come of it. this is what i call the game. the game is retarded. i don't think i'll ever meet a person like me at a party. being different is sometimes a liability. such is life.
  • i wonder how much of that story made sense. i'm so drunk right now i can barely write coherently.
  • if you believe that i'm drunk then you don't know me.
  • johnny gave me the quick cam, a mini-telescope, a flannel, a couple tools, and more. i'm going to go to santa cruz more often.
  • we went to the flea market again and i got a great deal on some metric wrenches (not socket)...craftsman too. i also got a couple bungee cords. it was a smaller showing today than it was last sunday, but it was still decent. i wish they had flea markets in davis.
  • it only took 3 hrs 10 mins to get home...taking the long way and with some traffic.
  • i will have a respectable tool set in no time.
  • tired.

  • 7-29-00 (19:49)

  • santa cruz was good while it lasted.
  • got the car back fine, old volks home is a good shop...they installed a license plate holder for free too (after i asked for it).
  • updated the poll.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cd list.
  • i guess i'm going to that party tonight. if i don't like parties there must be something wrong with me.

  • 7-28-00 (00:00)

  • job went well today. going to santa cruz to pick up malcolm tomorrow.
  • prodigy is supposed to come out with something in august, but i doubt it will happen...run dmc was supposed to come out with something last november. such is the music industry.
  • napster is gone. i'll just wait for the next one.
  • really tired. tomorrow will be long.
  • updated movies list.

  • 7-26-00 (21:26)

  • scott is never home.
  • everytime i listen to the crystal method i like them more. today we listened to it while working. having a boombox at work is really nice, i'm glad i bought it.
  • called the bug place and the car is fixed...valves were tight and some screw in the carb was blown out. i told them to work on the gas gauge while it was there. i like them more than the sacramento bug place. jon has offered to take me to santa cruz on friday since he's going half way anyway so i can pick it up and not have to ask johnny to take care of it for me. that's cool.
  • johnny will always tell you what he's thinking, this is a good quality.
  • updated movies list. 145 movies watched (155 to go) and 158 days left.
  • "Beastie Boy Mike D has unfortunately made good a little early on his promise in the new Rolling Stone that his band would be "severing (their) body parts and putting them back together" for the Rhyme & Reason 2000 tour. Complete details are still forthcoming, but Mike D was injured this Saturday in New York while riding his bicycle home from rehearsal, damaging his clavicle as well as several muscles, tendons and ligaments. The full extent of his injuries has not yet been determined. However, a specialist has recommended that he refrain from all physical activity for the duration of a two to three-month rehabilitation regimen—or risk permanently losing the use of the injured shoulder. More information on Mike D’s condition will be available following further surgery and treatment later this week. Announcement of re-scheduled dates, refund and exchange information, etc. will follow soon thereafter."
  • that sucks in a big big way.
  • got a letter from my sister today (she's at camp). that was cool. it seems as though people have been asking about me at camp...i've got to go next year.
  • i'm renewing the quest to have a duplicate to every cd i own...i'm behind by quite a bit, but i've gotten a good start, and now i have 80 minute cds to work with. i have about 85 cds to copy. joy.
  • sleep now.

  • 7-25-00 (21:22)

  • pretty damned long day.
  • reminder from yesterday: updated movieslist.
  • today we had a one day interior which was interesting....went pretty well for the most part, but jon thought we would be able to do the job with 3 gallons instead of 4 (his original estimate). so we had the 3 gallons custom mixed and went to work. he was gone most of the day and when he came back we informed him that we'd need more paint so he made the trip and got more, same formula and all. after going through about half a gallon we noticed that the new paint seemed a little bit lighter...we tried our best to make it look less obvious, and really did a decent job considering the situation. interior isn't as warm, but has more shit to watch out for that you can't fix...like the stairway carpet which gets paint on the side of it. hopefully we won't have to do that crap anymore.
  • we hope to find a few under the table jobs that we can do. because 50% or so of everything we book goes to student works we usually end up coming overbudget. if we charged less, but didn't kick back any to student works then we could make money and give the customers a better deal. if we do it that way we won't have worker's comp and they won't have the 3 year guarantee. it's a trade off, but the quality will be the same. we shall see.
  • after work we did a test patch for the most annoying woman ever. finally we got away from her and went to the mexican food restaurant. mary and susie part II were there and just about to close, but they let us in. we were the only customers in there for a while which was cool. they gave us guacamole without us asking and gave jon his milk just like he likes it without him asking as well. after three visits it seems we are regulars already. mary invited us to the party again (this weekend) and gave us directions, so that's pretty sweet. they were cleaning up most of the time, but mary sat down with us and talked a bit. i told her i wanted her to have my children and she slapped me. just kidding, just kidding. mary says "just kidding" a lot. finally we were all done with our food and the check came...last week we ordered the exact same thing and it came to 20 bucks (which is actually about 10 bucks less than it should have been for what we ordered), this week the total bill was only 15 bucks. so we gave her a 10 buck tip. they're pretty damn cool to say the least.
  • santa cruz: i was cruising along with about an hour left in the trip when i feel a lack of power and then look down and see the engine is dead. i pull off to the side and look at the engine, nothing out of the ordinary. i look at the oil and it looks like it's completely gone (it's dark so i can't really tell, even with the flashlight). i add more oil and discover it still looks empty, this is because the oil is so new it's not black yet and i just added more oil than i will need for a long time. i start the car and get back on the freeway, but there is a big time lack of power. i get off on the next exit and pull into a gas station, look at my vw book for some advice. it seems like a problem with the generator because the red light is coming on, but that doesn't make sense. for a while i try and fiddle with that. i buy a cresent wrench in the hope that i can fix the problem. really i wasn't doing much of anything because i don't have an extra fan belt or any shims to make the belt tighter. in fact the lights aren't dim so it's probably not an electrical problem. AAA can tow me 5 miles which is really useful in the middle of nowhere at 11pm.
  • vern and i make another run for it. we encounter traffic...now the car is running, but it's not liking the fact that it is. it's lacking lots of power and if i take my foot off the pedal it tries to die so i have to keep going fairly fast. there is no way i'm getting over highway 17 into santa cruz because it's a fucking cliff that can't be climbed in this condition. we stop in los gatos and call johnny for a ride the rest of the way.
  • while we are waiting for johnny this drunk old lady talks to us about god, being true to yourself and other such pearls of wisdom. the thing that stuck out was that she said "always be true to yourself"...or as mike d says it: "be true to yourself and you will never fall"
  • the next day we go on a bitchin' 15 mile mountain biking ride on some really good trails, plenty of good downhills, which meant the intial 3 miles sucked because they were straight uphill the whole time. it was worth it. i want a mountian bike again. vern bit it big time and i got close a couple times.
  • i can't remember what else we did that first day, but i know we did a lot. i hung out with marc for a little while, he's pretty damned cool.
  • the next day we got the bug towed to santa cruz...luckily johnny's girlfriend (christy) had a AAA plus card which allows you to tow up to 100 miles without charge. thanks. we also went to fry's. we played some football and we won.
  • that night that we played football vern wasn't around. i met a bunch of luke's friends which was cool because now i actually know who ryan, dorfman, and gabe are. we ate pizza and then played trivial pursuit. once again the team of chris, johnny, christy and anyone else won.
  • luke's friends are cool. marc is an amazing specimen, but very cool.
  • johnny gave me about a million items including my first craftsman tool ever...a single 5/8 wrench. very cool.
  • i went to the flea market which was extremely cool. i got burned. it was cool to see how much shit i could have picked up for so damn cheap. i must go there again some time.
  • we went to a drive-in theater and watched two movies, this time with vern.
  • monday i went to the bug place and showed them where my car was parked. at the flea market i bought one item - a vw manual by haynes. i looked around in it and concluded that the problem was probably having to do with the valves, the bug mechanic - who was pretty cool - concluded the same thing and quoted me at 60 bucks. it might be more because they might need replacing, who knows. it's only money so i don't care too much.
  • santa cruz weather is lame, but they have shitload of bugs (probably because they are trapped in the valley) and thus many bug shops.
  • christy is pretty damned dope as well.
  • we went to a bike store because johnny is thinking about getting a new mountain bike. it looked like the big sur (gary fisher) was really nice and within his price range...so was the rockhopper fs-a1 comp. something like that. i rode steve's which is basically the same bike and it was really good.
  • i've been updating for 35 minutes.
  • beastie boys and rage tickets are on sale on thursday at 10am for the SF show...hell yes. don't know the opening acts yet, but i don't care too much. i think they will come to sacramento as well. i'll be there and here.
  • doors rock your left nutsack. so does johnny.
  • johnny drove us to the train station in san jose...it took us about 4 hours to get from there to the house...the train stopped and changed cabooses and overall went too slow.
  • having a 20 gig hard drive is pretty damned plush.
  • wake up do it again tomorrow.

  • 7-25-00 (01:42)

  • much to say, much sleep to be had, will update more tomorrow.
  • updated movies list.
  • i think just about everything in life is common sense.
  • i think common sense is learned and not all that common.

  • 7-19-00 (23:03)

  • didn't go to work today because of the unhappy customer.
  • there is more swelling on my ankle than i had thought, but it was okay enough to play on yesterday.
  • updated movies list.
  • while we were in the movie theater parking lot three guys in a lexus gave us a stare down, so i looked back. they backed up and followed us. the guy in the passenger seat started mouthing off about this and that. i kept looking at him. finally they gave up, called me gay, called jon's sister an ugly bitch and then drove off. it would have been fun to finally get into a fight. oh well.
  • have to give jon and sister a ride to airport early tomorrow morning, i've known about this for about 15 minutes.
  • malcolm started up on the first crank today. oh, i hereby dub the bug malcolm.
  • i should sleep now.

  • 7-19-00 (00:14)

  • dennis miller is going to be announcing monday night football games next season, that should be cool.
  • went to play some basketball with the kdvs types, that was fun.
  • when i got back jon informed me that the idiot customer called us up and cancelled our job because even after coming back we were not up to par. that guy needs to get the stick out of his ass.
  • going to santa cruz this weekend should be fun.
  • beastie boys tics are on sale through sept. 5th now...they'll be in texas by then. it looks like they're going to end somewhere in california. shit yea.
  • updated movies list.
  • e-mail works again.

  • 7-18-00 (20:19)

  • so everything that we did yesterday was deemed unacceptable by the customer. today we "fixed" it and he will tell us if it is acceptable or not...if you ever get your house painted don't complain to the painters about their prep work, it's just stupid.
  • after work we went out to eat at the same mexican place as last thursday and said hi to mary. she invited us to a party next weekend which is pretty nice so we'll be going to that i'm sure.
  • bought a boombox for the job site today.
  • updated cd list.
  • i can't get email for some reason.
  • there have been many problems this summer and i haven't melted down yet; odd.
  • the job we are at right now has two dogs and four horses, the dogs hate us, but the horses are cool. we've been taking breaks to hang out with them, that's decent.

  • 7-16-00 (22:38)

  • updated movies list.
  • i wonder if anyone reads my comments on the movies i see, or check to see which movies i see. it's really only for me anyway.
  • i think i will buy something for my computer.
  • johnny updates his page a lot more often than i had thought, that is cool.
  • phil formatted his computer for the 50th time in his life. that's actually probably and underestimation...underestimation sounds like the last few painting jobs we've done.
  • speaking of which...jon is leaving on thursday so i hope we finish this job by then. we get paid friday which will be nice and jon picked up two more jobs this weekend so we'll have work at least through july and part of august.
  • september will be hot.
  • i discovered that there are 168 days left in the year and i have 164 more movies to see...
  • perfect dark is a good N64 game, probably the best of its kind in fact.
  • i'm going to miss not having a N64 next year. vern and i are going to build a lot of furniture.
  • all of a sudden i have a lot of money, but that's how it is with me...either i'm broke or rich.
  • johnny and vern's friend (marc) was cool when i met him, i forgot to mention that earlier.
  • i have two phones and both are sucking in a major way these days.
  • i'm running out of hard drive space and my video card is slow. i'm going to get new ones of both, this way i can return the 4gb hard drive to phil and finally run quake or other such video intensive games more smoothly. i'm not much of a gamer, but it'll be nice. i've had the same computer for 4 years now...in that time i've added one free hard drive, given one away, gotten a new cd writer, a new tower (the old one was over 6 years old), and one new 24x cd-rom. all in all i've spent about 300 bucks on the thing in about 3 years. that's pretty good considering a) how much other people spend on theirs b) how much i use it.
  • intel has the 1.5 gigahertz cpu out now, that's stupid. mine is .2 gigahertz. i'll stop being such a dork.
  • dj shadow is pretty damned cool.
  • sometimes i look at my cd collection and can't find anything to listen to, lately i haven't had time to listen to all the things i want to...i want to listen to about 10 cds at once right now.
  • vern has me wanting to build things now.
  • i opened the frig today and a bottle fell and broke, then i was filling the washer because no one else does and a glass broke, then i was making some chicken and it fell on the ground, then i was getting some ice cream and it fell on the ground. i ate both, naturally, but it was a drag. my blood sugar level is low.
  • there are a bunch of shoutcast servers i want to listen to right now, but dj shadow is better, sqaub teen calls, so does pearl jam, tool, fugees, source material comp., apollo four-forty, and more....
  • funny how the old nintendo owns all other game systems, same with super nintendo and gameboy, but n64 gets smashed by its competition. however, when n64 does it right, they do it really right.
  • well it appears as though i will have to own a dvd player soon - the beastie boys will be coming out with a massive collection of video and audio in october on dvd, it must be done.
  • not much more to say, i think i should sleep anyway.

  • 7-16-00 (01:39)

  • updated movies list.
  • didn't do much today.
  • jesus took a long time to start up today, but finally did.
  • shot around on the basketball court today, it sucked. my ankle isn't recovered yet.
  • i think dogs are better humans than humans are.

  • 7-15-00 (00:26)

  • updated movies list.
  • day started off at around 8am. got to the site where jon's car had broken down. the gas station was literally ready to tow it, but we showed up barely on time...the owner said she might bill him because the tow truck had been deployed...so we get AAA out there and a really nice tow truck driver takes us to two different places until we drop the jeep off at a place which will look at it and be able to fix it no matter how complex the problem is (something a jiffy lube type place wouldn't be able to do).
  • finally we got back on the road towards work. we picked up some trash from an old job site and dumped that in a dumpster. then made our way to our last job site and took a ladder from there to our very first job. mind you, we did all of this in a honda civic hatchback. we did some touch ups there and left by 2:15. from there we just went to walnut creek (an hour drive) to drop off our checks so that we can make payroll for next friday. we went home after that. in total there was about 3 hours of work and a shit load of driving done.
  • we still need to do the semi-gloss trim on our last job, other than that we have one huge job booked for next week. hopefully we make some bank from this next job.
  • after work i went to work on the bug...took out the choke and made sure that was installed and setup correctly. reassembled the choke, started it up and it ran relatively well. from there i adjusted the mixture screw a little, then the idle. did all this when the weather was warm. after all the adjustments it seemed to run rather well and, more importantly, actually started without much trouble. i just tried it again, in much cooler climate, to ensure that it was running well...it started on the first crank. i'm not sure why the people who work at bugformance didn't do the same thing i did...bastards.
  • in more news...while we were in dixon (small town outside of davis...also where we met mary while waiting for the car to cool down) we ran into about 4 people and 3 of them were extremely nice. eugene, who worked at the auto shop where the car is now, wished us a good weekend, said he'd call us when the car was done, etc. i think dixon should be renamed to "the home of courteous people"
  • here is a mockumentary by chris miller which is currently in the works...skinny white jesus (your savior) standing in front of the camera outside, squinting in the sunlight, the cameraman asks "what does carpentry mean to you?" jesus, in all sincerity, replies "carpentry is an art, a skill, it's a way of life..." he goes on to describe how difficult carpentry is and all the tricks of the trade he has picked up...he's not bragging, but there is a definite air of pride in his work. as he continues to talk about his pride the voice is laid over images of him working in the shop pounding nails into boards while constructing barns or what not...all of the action within this montage, though, is of jesus completely screwing up...jesus hammers his thumb and jumps up and down in pain...jesus tries to saw a board and the saw won't budge, etc. it would be really funny i think.
  • i'm going to hell.
  • i want to tape our painting experiences...there would be some classic footage.
  • sleep.

  • 7-14-00 (01:53)

  • must leave in about 6 hours.
  • today was epic. it took 6 hours to get home from 20 miles away...the car (jon's) overheated about 80 times, i changed the oil for him, we replaced coolant, flushed the cooling system, nothing worked. then it wouldn't even turn over...the battery seemed dead. it was a joke. stopped off at a mexican place and had chips for dinner. met mary. finally scott gave us a ride home.
  • my car hasn't been worked on yet, maybe i'll have time on saturday.
  • we have 5 more jobs booked, after that there won't be anymore painting, unless we start marketing. yay.
  • we are overbudget on every job we do which is sucky. jon picked up the wrong paint (flat instead of semi-gloss) so we have to redo much of the job we did today, tomorrow.
  • this whole venture is a nightmare for everyone. vern and i are getting paid less than 8 bucks an hour because we are overbudget. jon isn't making any money because we are overbudget. one reason we are so overbudget is because his estimates were a little too wishful. some of it is because of stupid mistakes. some of it is because of amateur technique. i think that our next big job will be under budget because we've made just about every possible mistake.
  • it was in the low 90s today. vern turned black. he'll have skin cancer very soon.
  • associates credit card wants me to pay them 285 bucks...they smoke too much crack...i owe them nothing. when i have a spare moment i will tell them just that.
  • updated movies list. from a couple days ago
  • need to sleep.

  • 7-11-00 (22:22)

  • ran errands, shot around on the basketball court, and nothing more.

  • 7-11-00 (00:01)

  • we finally finished the job from hell today. what a fucking day. out of the house for almost 15 hours
  • hopefully i get a lot of shit done tomorrow
  • there isn't much to talk about because i've been too busy to think. the man has a very smart plan - keep the worker to busy and tired to think or rebel...throw in two weeks worth of vacation to prevent uprisings.
  • i might be too tired to do anything tomorrow. days off are good. we have two interior jobs this week, that sucks, but they should be high yield, assuming we do them right.
  • the doors are dope.
  • wether by choice or not i've somehow kept myself as clean as a christian (in actions) through 21 years of life. that's pretty sad.
  • if the world was created in a matter of days and science has proved that those "days" really mean billions of years then sinning for just a second would probably be as bad as sinning for years. i wonder what the rules are on that. god? hook me up with the 411.
  • i could buy some beer if i wanted, that's an additional freedom i never had, but it really doesn't mean shit to me. funny how to some it means a lot.
  • no movie watched today. maybe tomorrow. if i woke up tomorrow i could get a shitload done...i probably won't though.

  • 7-10-00 (00:23)

  • updated movies list.
  • time to sleep.
  • might get tuesday off, that would be nice.

  • 7-9-00 (21:00)

  • going to be watching high sierra tonight, that should be good. rented 5 movies for under 5 bucks which is a good deal.
  • i'm happy with my cd purchases because i got a good balance of stuff. 5 hip-hop albums, 2 by groups i already own albums by. two jazz cds which i know will be good. two black sabbath albums which finishes up my black sabbath collection. one doors album which rounds my collection of their stuff a bit more. same with velvet underground, beach boys, and bob dylan. then there's the one dick dale cd which was a sure gamble.
  • i'm really out of the loop when it comes to anything having to do with music or computers because i haven't tooled around on the internet finding out about either.
  • the doors are pretty damned cool.
  • i tried to figure something out regarding math today and it took me forever. point: my math skills are non-existent.
  • jesus has a 49 cc engine i discovered.

  • 7-9-00 (16:36)

  • updated the trip page because vern got me those scanned pics of his and i finally got around to having some spare time. all the pictures are in black and white, some are grainy and some have little developing errors on them. there is one action photo of me taking pictures of the overturned cars which looks pretty cool. it's nice because vern seemed to take pictures when i was not so the trip is more filled in now...includes pictures near susanville, in dunsmuir, and in mt. shasta
  • woke up at 10am today then, after eating, i went to sleep for another 5 hours because i was bored.
  • nothing much to say. haven't spent much time in front of the tv or computer today so that's good.

  • 7-9-00 (00:06)

  • updated movies list.
  • tired, it feels like it's 3am.
  • up to 130 movies.
  • the guy at our job site offered us beer after we were done working. then he thought we might be too young. do i look young?
  • got to delete 7 more mp3s.
  • sleep time

  • 7-8-00 (19:53)

  • got 15 cds today in the mail for 35 bucks. oh yea. updated cd list.
  • work today wasn't too bad, we have one side to go and will do that on monday.
  • ankle is even better.
  • i really need to take my car in because there is something definitely wrong with it. morons. it could be the thermostat, the volume control, or the choke...other than that i have no idea, but i'm banking on it being one of those (all attached to the carb). if it's either of the last two then they should fix it for free. bastard morons.
  • i shaved this morning.
  • arla, safeway checker, remembered my name and birthday. too bad she's like 30 and married.
  • need to go to dentist, car shop, dmv, car paint place, damn i'm a busy guy these days.

  • 7-7-00 (23:19)

  • i'm officially a working man. it's 11 and i'm ready to sleep.
  • updated movies list.
  • we probably won't finish our job tomorrow unless we make it a long day.
  • my ankle is actually better today than i thought, but twisting makes it suck big time. walking, though, isn't bad.
  • love is knowing tupac.
  • rode jesus over to marina's with vern on the back. we watched blues brothers and smoked pot. it was crazy fun. i wonder if anyone actually thinks i smoke pot.
  • i haven't shaved or showered for a few days, such is life.
  • i think i could stand having the right girlfriend, the wrong girlfriend will most definitely turn me asexual.
  • bill withers was born on july fourth
  • in blues brothers there is a little boy who tries to steal a guitar but is thwarted by ray charles...the actor just happens to be (drumroll) De'voreaux White aka Argyle in Die Hard...i KNEW i recognized him, had i seen his face for a few more seconds i think i could have figured it out.

  • 7-7-00 (18:12)

  • so i hear that the beastie boys and rage are coming to SF on sept. 15th. yay. stp, no doubt, common, and some other bands are among the few who are opening for them in other cities. i'm still hoping for dj shadow to open for them in SF.
  • today we got one side done, we'll probably have to come back on saturday and part of sunday to get this shit done, what a house.

  • 7-6-00 (23:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • filled up jesus today (.63 gallons) for $1.23. we'll see how many miles i can get with him. rode jesus with vern on back to drop off blockbuster videos, what an easy job it was.
  • one of these days i'll get the tags for jesus. one of these days i'll renew my driver's license. one of these days i'll start up the bug and see what i can do about all that.
  • getting 7 or more hours of sleep is actually possible tonight.

  • 7-6-00 (20:22)

  • 21 emails today, jesus.
  • speaking of which...my scooter now has a name - jesus. yea.
  • finished one job, on to the next. this is the job from hell. the guy (john johnson) hates us. there are 200 pound rocks placed with 6 inches of the wall. there are high eaves and walls to contend with. a redwood deck which will need to be completely masked. fuck this job. oh and there are also two lolitas who tempt me every moment.
  • i'm glad it isn't too hot. we'll be working on saturday for sure.
  • last night i got in bed and bumped my head against the dresser, my head hurt. what a crappy day that was. today was no bonus either.
  • we were 10 minutes away from making the last job perfect, but i guess we got lazy.
  • my ankle sucks. suck this last two days.
  • so you thought you might like to go to the show...
  • i have no time to do anything lately.

  • 7-5-00 (23:30)

  • updated movies list.
  • played basketball and injured my left ankle...not as bad as the right foot injury a while back....as i said - i knew when i woke up that this day was going to suck.

  • 7-5-00 (20:07)

  • knew today was going to suck. turned out that we need to do 2-3 coats on the trim for it to look decent so obviously that takes a lot longer to wait for a coat to dry and then go over it again, and again.
  • phil isn't afraid of speaking his mind. scott also says anything he is thinking.
  • a bunch of people called me for my birthday which was cool, thanks.
  • for some reason i have 18 messages waiting.
  • the guy across the street from where we are working has about 5 girls who are on his jock, it's amazing. one in the door with tight shorts...they go outside and kiss and hug and such. then 15 minutes later he drives up with another girl. 30 minutes later another girl shows up in her car. i want to be him.
  • so i can buy alcohol and go to clubs now. don't care really.
  • hopefully i'll be visiting santa cruz this weekend or next. more likely next, that way vern can come and maybe hook up some gas funds. we shall see.
  • i'm not on the computer very much these days. i'm very happy to not have any school work.
  • phil said something positive today, it was a landmark in the history of our long relationship.

  • 7-4-00 (23:32)

  • another day another dollar spent
  • updated movies list.

  • 7-4-00 (01:45)

  • i found out yesterday that i don't have to work today which rocks.
  • jon got me a scooter, it's a toy scooter really, but it gets up to 25mph and it's in decent enough shape to ride around. it's big time boss. i've gotten plenty of looks already, even one from a cop. yay.
  • my license expires today, shit.
  • updated movies list.
  • i'm going to sleep a lot tomorrow.

  • 7-2-00 (00:02)

  • arla, the safeway checker, is the bomb. she actually knows my name and she likes my hair.
  • went to oakland this weekend and was spoiled silly.
  • work tomorrow a little later than usual.
  • hit 90 mph on the bug while phil was sleeping, it rocked. the bug has trouble starting in the cold weather which is really stupid because i just took it in. think it's something to do with the choke or air/gas mixture. such is life.
  • tupac is a big time homie. rap is great.
  • updated movies list.
  • tired.

  • 7-1-00 (00:42)

  • june was the anti-march in a lot of ways. june was very long and fairly white. old shit be here
  • i honestly don't see any kind of relationship happening with a woman for at least another 3 years.
  • i don't think i'm going to oakland now. my sister won't be there and phil is here so it makes things kind of dumb like that.
  • tonight was filled with stupidity.
  • updated movies list. this is the first time i can ever remember having seen a movie three times within a week.
  • vern still hasn't gotten his share of the pictures from the trip to me so that's not going up any time soon.
  • i can't think of any other rap artist who created songs as epic as 2pac.
  • tired. tired of lots of things.

  • 6-30-00 (00:51)

  • phil is coming tomorrow, that's a surprise. i guess i'll take him to oakland and to paint with us or something.
  • played basketball for the first time in a while today.
  • the tool album i got is really good.
  • i'm surprised 80 minute cds work on my writer. i read, granted it was three years ago when 80 minute cds first were made, that your writer had to be a certain kind to write to 80 minute cds. now they have it down so that they're cheap and work on all writers. dope. i can finally make a copy of jilted generation, load, et al.
  • tired.

  • 6-29-00 (17:51)

  • finished the job today around the time i had anticipated.
  • i'm tired.
  • we get tomorrow off so that's nice.
  • i'm going to oakland on saturday that'll be a trip.
  • don't know what to have for dinner tonight. probably just breakfast burritos.
  • get paid my last library paycheck next wednesday and get paid my first painting paycheck next friday.
  • this last house we painted had shit as the trim color so i have shit all over my hands. i think the shit was actually called loam, but it looks a lot like shit.
  • i'm tired.

  • 6-28-00 (22:57)

  • updated movie list. saw american movie again. what a great great great documentary. really brings out the whole range of human experience. from happiness, laughter, anger, sadness, etc. a must see.
  • bought a cd last night for 18 bucks then got 5 bucks from scott to make a copy. only problem was that i had to buy 80 minute blank cds because the cd is 77 minutes. money doesn't concern me.
  • i wish the world was a lot better than it is. i wish people like bill and marc borchardt got the respect they deserve. my dad's cousin, luke, is a funny guy. he basically lives like a bum. never has a shirt or shoes on. lives with his mom still. is usually dirty looking, with a full beard and head of hair, but he is really an inspirational guy. never have i seen such a full-spirited and fun guy.
  • it's tough not to discriminate, but it must be done (not discriminating, that is).
  • big news of yesterday was rage against the machine and beastie boys (my two favorite intact groups) will be touring this summer. there is no chance in hell that if they get anywhere on the west coast i will miss a show.
  • is there anything wrong with eating skin that is flaking off your own body? i say no.
  • when it comes to parenting i would be very laid back
  • i should hang out with johnny more often.
  • my ankle hurts for some reason. i think i already said that. dumbo.
  • don't know how many times i've said this before, but - truth is stranger than fiction. non-fiction is just plain better than fiction, movies and books. it's hard to go wrong with non-fiction. obviously i like both, but it's amazing that people don't really watch non-fiction movies or read non-fiction books. maybe entertainment is more important than information or something.
  • i think spike lee is boss.
  • sleep time.

  • 6-28-00 (19:57)

  • today we painted. yay. got paint in eye. gay.
  • bitch at blockbuster gave us a hard time.
  • i think most people overestimate how much they will miss someone.
  • my ankle hurts.
  • i want the 49ers to win the superbowl.
  • updated cdlist.
  • i think cds are the perfect size.

  • 6-28-00 (00:02)

  • only five hours today.
  • went out and had chinese food i couldn't afford.
  • got the bug back and it rocks, i spent a lot of money on it, but i don't care.
  • saw a movie. updated movielist. 120 so fart.
  • tomorrow we paint the house, oh joy.
  • marina asked me if vern and i would come over and see a movie with her and her friend, i said yes. i ended up forgetting all about it. i think this is a good sign.
  • scott went up to a random girl, sat next to her, and talked with her. he got her number. scott gets employee of the month honors.
  • i'm always tired.
  • vern shaved my head today shorter than i've ever had it. it's also really blond. i look funny.

  • 6-26-00 (23:30)

  • got less than 5 hours of sleep last night.
  • it's 84 degrees in the house now.
  • i got burned, i need more sunscreen.
  • today we got up and left by 7:15. got to the bug shop and finally got the car in. i decided to just get a tune-up, it's going to cost more than i wanted to spend, but there's not much i can do about it. i don't know how to check the timing, compression, service the air cleaner, and all the other shit that they are going to do so i just got it done with them.
  • so i dropped off the car and then jon (who had been tailing me the whole way) was going to drive us to the paint store, buy some paint, and then take us to the job site to get started. as it turns out his transmission would cut out after he got to 50 mph so we couldn't really drive on the freeway. so we took the car to several places and, having not had it checked out by anyone, ended up filling it with transmission fluid to see if that might help. at around 12pm we were finally back on the road and driving well over 50 mph
  • we got to the paint store and then to the old job site where vern and i finished up the last part of the house under budget. this is good because it means more money. the job was budgeted for 18 hours total and it ended up taking more like 13 (between the two of us).
  • while we worked, jon went back to davis where he picked up a friend with a triple-A card so he could get his other car (the land rover) towed. the land rover's gear shift had broken while in sacramento a few days ago and he never got it taken care of. today he finally got it towed home. the car we were driving today was a spare car his parents weren't using.
  • obviously this day was long and fun-filled.
  • finally we got home at 9:40 after having dropped of the equipment at the new job site which we will begin work at tomorrow.
  • we rented a movie, but it started kind of late and i'm really damn tired. miller's crossing is the movie, i done seen it before, but that was when it first came out like 80 years ago.
  • i have to leave tomorrow by 8am, i really hope we get home at a reasonable time. tomorrow we work on a wood house which should be extremely fun to prep.
  • i need more fluids and sleep.

  • 6-26-00 (01:04)

  • i have to leave to get my car in the shop in about 6 hours. i'm glad i'm getting it taken care of though.
  • updated movie list. we are using monique's tv so now i have a chance to catch up during the summer for my movie goal.
  • my hair is light orange because of the "sun-in" lemon juice shit, it's kinda cool.
  • waking up early actually isn't as bad as i thought.

  • 6-25-00 (21:40)

  • life's a journey not a destination. if this is true then i'm probably doing myself a disservice by not experiencing the party life and the drugs and alcohol that go along with it. why don't i do those things? after all it is perfectly normal - most people my age do it. maybe my answer when people ask why i don't do those things should be "because martin luther king didn't"...then i'm just a follower. hmmm.
  • one wants to be an individual, but one wants to have the feeling that what he does is normal. i think the easiest answer is that each person is going to live their life their own way, experiencing different things and having different sets of beliefs, but no one way is better than the other. that should probably have some kind of qualifier though. like no one way is better than the other as long as living your life your way doesn't infringe upon another's way of life. there's a lot more to it than that though.
  • if life were a destination then it would be a little more simple. i think the whole process is made easier by religion or by leaders. it's too hard to figure out how to live life by yourself.
  • be true to yourself and you will never fall. that makes things a lot easier.
  • if i start believing in god and religion and i live my life according to his standards then i will feel that what i'm doing is the right way. this would be a very contenting feeling. it's easy, then, to see why so many people choose religion as a guide for living their life. the bible has proven itself a guide for millions because it holds so many answers within.
  • i think most people don't like being surrounded by stupidity, it's just numbing and overall annoying. then it becomes an issue of what one deems stupidity. for me i often think of people being drunk as also being stupid, although this is not a rule - rather an observation. so why is drunkenness so stupid to me and should it be? because drinking and drugs was of great import in the destruction of my family i might be more inclined to reject it. however, not all drinking and use of drugs is towards this end. so i would be taking the easy route to denounce all use of alcohol and drugs. maybe i could make an argument that anything mind altering is unattractive to me. love is mind altering, so is caffeine (i've shunned coffee, but obviously not mountain dew)...thus i could be seen as a hypocrite, to shun alcohol and drugs, but not caffeine or love or other mind altering things (even music maybe?). when you break it down enough even our economic system is mind altering - capitalism makes people think in terms of efficiency. what separates caffeine, love, sports, music, drugs and alcohol? i might say varying degrees and the direction in which they point your thoughts. caffeine obviously doesn't have the same effect as heroine and love doesn't normally alter your mind in the same negative direction as pcp.
  • as everything in life there is not always a concrete rule, there's always an exception to the rule, and the rules are made arbitrarily.
  • taking the car in tomorrow, jon is giving me a ride from the shop to work.
  • i'm checking my grades right now. this could ruin my day or they might not be up yet.
  • had breakfast burritos with bacon, a smoothie, 4 small ego waffles, and some juice today. in case you care.
  • i think i forgot to write about a little final school day story. i take my last final and get the paper back. i look at the grade and it's not very good. i read the comments and it says "where are pages 7 and 8?" i look and sure enough two of my pages are missing. holy bat shit. so i run to the computer lab and download the paper from my webpage (good thing i put it online by then) print it out and slide the complete copy under my TA's office door hoping that she gets it and changes my grade. i just checked and i got a B in the class. i passed the two classes i took pass/no pass and the fourth class (the one with the take home final) doesn't have a grade posted yet.
  • i like the use of the floor tom in the beach boys' pet sounds...they use it a lot and i don't know what it is about it, but it has just the right amount of reverb and sounds really nice.
  • so here's the plan as far as i can figure it out so far. my grades pretty much suck overall so getting into grad school would be trying and not too fruitful. so after college i take a quarter off and live in some girl's pants then i go and get some teaching credentials and start teaching government in high school.
  • phil got back from mexico and, well, he had a crazy time. bad boy.
  • no more tv means no more movies for a while. this sucks. the summer was supposed to be the time for catching up on my 300 goal.

  • 6-25-00 (01:31)

  • updated movie list.
  • people are strange, when you're a stranger. faces look ugly, when you're alone. jim morrison rocks.
  • tired, i am.

  • 6-24-00 (21:32)

  • 7-11 changed their slurpee lid...it used to be a perfect circle on top of the clear plastic dome. now the perfect circle has turned into a circle made of a bunch of straight lines (like an octagon, except with more sides to make it more circular) - this makes it so that when you put the lid on top and fill it there will be space to allow the air to escape. the old way had a circle dispenser and a circle opening so that it made an airtight fit. i think they changed it because what would happen is that the air wouldn't be able to escape and so the lid would pop off, usually making quite the mess. these are the kind of things no one notices.
  • got a toolbox today.
  • for some reason i want a 4 track recorder, hopefully it's just a phase because i have absolutely no use for it.
  • phil is in mexico right now, probably drinking, definitely getting it on with chicks. lucky guy.
  • i have no idea how i'm going to get my car in the shop this week. unless we finish before 430 one day this week i don't see it happening. their hours are 730-5 so that pretty much sucks ass.
  • not sure why led zeppelin owns all of the rock genre, but they pretty much do.
  • these damn bugs ate into my skin at the last job site, it has proven to be very annoying. if better judgment didn't prevail i might cut off parts of my leg to get rid of their bite marks.
  • good news with the car is that i bought another nut and screwed it on with much trouble, but it is far less sluggish (probably not sluggish at all) than it once was. this means the carb isn't leaking. still i'd like to take the car in because i am going on a 150 mile round-trip trek next weekend.
  • in the yellow pages there is an auto repair advertisement for "negro's auto repair" hmmmm.

  • 6-24-00 (14:27)

  • well the parts section of the car place is open, but not the service section. white.
  • kurtis blow is cool and apparently gets sampled a lot more than i had thought...out of five songs i've recognized at least 3 different portions of his songs which have been sampled by other artists. crazy.
  • beastie boys sampled kurtis blow several times.
  • run dmc make a cameo on a kurtis blow track. i'm tired.

  • 6-24-00 (00:46)

  • updated movie list.
  • worked 12 hours today, that might be illegal.
  • taking car in tomorrow.
  • i'm extremely tired.
  • put some lemon juice type stuff in my hair and now my hair is blond/orange, cool.
  • got burned on my arm a bit, not too bad.
  • updated cd list.
  • tomorrow i plan on sleeping a lot.
  • this goes out to all the homies who do manual labor - i give you big time respect.
  • workers of the world, UNITE!

  • 6-23-00 (00:02)

  • updated movie list.
  • car is a real trooper. discovered today that one of the two nuts holding the carb to the intake manifold is off and nowhere to be found...an obvious problem because the gas/air mixture leaks and its richness is compromised. pretty sluggish when it first starts up. this is a sticky situation so i'm going to take the car in for a bit of a tune up on saturday...it shouldn't be any big deal...i'll have them put the missing nut on, check the compression, and other 6K mile check up type stuff. once that is taken care of i'll adjust the valves, maybe fix the e-brake, try and work on the heater...but this all for the future.
  • i feel like my birthday has already passed.
  • i'm tired, it was a long 10 hour day today.
  • i had breakfast burritos with some bacon in the mix, yum.
  • this has been a really long month.
  • my car really rocks considering gas was spurting out of the carb, missing a nut, the air filter is probably 8 years old, and it still goes 80 mph.
  • there are these idiots who come around asking for magazine subscriptions...they're always frat boy material. one came up to me not too long ago and beat around the bush trying to build a rapport. he asked where i lived and i said los angeles, he asked where, i said in the valley - sylmar. he said 'oh there are a bunch of mexicans there, huh?' i said i guess so. he said 'you must have a bunch of mexican friends then, huh?' i said 'yea, something like that'...then he tried to sell me the magazines, i said 'no thanks, we had some fool come by a little while ago asking the same thing.' he said 'what did you say? fool?'...i said 'yea, i said fool'...he said 'that's what the mexicans say a lot, huh, fool. right?' i said 'i guess'...from there the discussion was lacking excitement, but i was very ready to slice into his head with my machete. what a fool.
  • i'm actually staying somewhat burn free despite being in the sun all day. my scalp hasn't burned either, this is good.
  • got my penultimate uc davis library paycheck today, that'll help.
  • xoom server has been better, good.
  • the world has been thoroughly screwed over by people who think white. superiority, divine purpose, lack of brotherhood, these things (among some others) makeup whiteness. atomic cafe, the movie i done seen today, was testament to this. it's amazing how dangerous someone is when they feel they are sent by god, or carrying out god's orders. those who say the bible is the word of god will say that hindering the gospel is a sin. i wouldn't want to stop them from converting millions of non-whites on their homeland. hmmm.
  • sleepy.

  • 6-22-00 (00:00)

  • system is lagging a bit, hmmm.
  • car worked pretty well on the way to the job. tomorrow work starts at 8am. shit.
  • today wasn't too bad at all, i found away to stay cool and shield from the sun at the same time....wet rags be doing wonders.
  • updated movie list. i'm up to 115 now, well behind schedule, but catching up lately.
  • pink floyd really owns.
  • i think my next few cd purchases will include pink floyd (meddle or piper at the gates of dawn) and tool's first cd.
  • i was going to go golfing with my dad the day after father's day because he didn't have work until 1pm that day, but at 10am the land owners, i mean his boss, called him into work. that was very capitalistic, managerial, impersonal, and white. ahhhh, capitalism.
  • i hope my sister doesn't become too spoiled, that would be very white.
  • time to sleep.

  • 6-21-00 (00:38)

  • looks like i don't have as much work as i might have thought tomorrow. i also don't have a ride to get to work, so the bug will get its first real taste of the summer.
  • updated movie list. again.
  • my dad's new car is pretty fun to drive, it's a cabriolet 92. i'll have to say that unless i get a porsche i can't foresee myself getting anything other than a volkswagon.
  • i had some other things i was thinking about, but either i forget or don't need to write about them.

  • 6-20-00 (19:57)

  • updated movie list.
  • so i went home, that ranged from shitty to surreal.
  • i'll leave out the details.
  • went out with phil one night to cruise around on 3rd street, that was cool. plenty of street acts. rewind...before we went there we were going around running errands on the bus (because neither of us had a car) and saw a few fights...mostly among homeless people. one man one woman. one time we saw a woman beating her male partner with his cane. later we saw them in westwood, still together. the battle of los angeles (the rage against the machine album really makes more sense now). i see the rest of the world heading the same direction as los angeles, thus the battle of los angeles is the same as the battle for the rest of the country's well-being.
  • so we're in santa monica, on third street, and it's getting a bit late and so far we haven't had any luck with the ladies. we decide to head home. we see this one hottie stumbling along and phil asks her if she needs an escort for the night. it was pretty damned funny. phil's not usually the type to do that. she, in her drunken state, says yes. so we walk on each side of her towards her place. she happens to live on the same street as phil. she keeps repeating the same things over and over and asking us the same questions, it really was quite funny. we get to 11th and wilshire (about two blocks from her house and three from phil's). there is a bar there so of course she wants to go in. neither phil or i are old enough, but she gets us in. she buys each of us a beer, i give mine to phil. we're talking about bullshit mostly. now to me she looked like she was maybe 24, at most i would have said 26. but she asks how old we think she is and i say 23. turns out she's 30. good lord. seriously she was extremely hot, model type. i was really surprised that she was 30. finally we get out of the bar and head towards her place. the whole time we are walking, or in the bar for that matter, she is hanging on us, hugging us, etc. it was the original cock tease. i had no misconceptions though, so i really never had it in my head that i would be getting any. ha ha. finally we drop her off at her place and she lets us in. we talk and when she is ready to go to sleep she asks us if we want to stay the night because her roommate is out of town. we say no. she later invites us to go to mexico with her because there is a huge volleyball tourney there and she and her four girlfriends are going to go there for the weekend. hmmm.
  • the upshot is...i can't go because i have paint training, but phil is going. she gave us her phone number and we did the same. she'll probably never call me because (as she later told phil) she didn't think i liked her...
  • my dad has about 1950 books, i counted.

  • 6-15-00 (05:50)

  • i think it's natural to desire leadership. i desire a social leader. i desire a malcolm x, a MLK, a che guevera, someone please step up.
  • i've almost finished all two liters of my mountain dew, this can't be good.
  • i'm about done with this paper. i've taken a shower, packed my bags, etc.
  • this paper isn't quite what the teacher wants because i don't have one of the articles it is supposed to be based on. the library doesn't have it and i didn't bother buying it so i'm working around it, infering a lot, bullshitting some, theorizing more.
  • i've gotten more scars on my forearm the last few months than i have in the rest of my life combined. scars of all kinds build character. that which does not kill me makes me stronger.
  • 06:20, just finished.

  • 6-15-00 (04:45)

  • more than half done with the second one.
  • got this shit from a website (it be about tobacco, in case you can't figure that out):
  • Indeed, prior to its 1996 about-face, the FDA had long held that cigarettes were not “drugs” within its purview, unless the manufactures made health or therapeutic claims—something that not even the tobacco companies were ready to assert. In 1996, the FDA reversed itself, ruling that nicotine is a “drug.” To justify its change of position, the FDA extensively documented the dangers associated with tobacco products, noting that “[m]ore than 400,000 people die each year from tobacco-related illnesses, such as cancer, respiratory illnesses, and heart disease, often suffering long and painful deaths,” and that “[t]obacco kills more people each year in the United States than acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), car accidents, alcohol, homicides, illegal drugs, suicides, and fires, combined.”
  • The FDA recognized, however, that it was forced into a paradoxical position.  The FDA’s core objective is to ensure that any product within its regulatory power is “safe and effective.” Given that it had just documented the dangers associated with tobacco use, how could it possibly declare cigarettes and other tobacco products safe? It seemed that if the FDA claimed jurisdiction over tobacco products it would have no choice but to ban them altogether.  Yet, a little known federal law prevents such a ban, largely for economic reasons: [t]he marketing of tobacco constitutes one of the greatest basic industries of the United States with ramifying activities which directly affect interstate and foreign commerce at every point, and stable conditions therein are necessary to the general welfare.
  • The only way out of the paradox was for cigarettes to be both very dangerous yet also “safe,” and the FDA’s lawyers rose to the occasion.  Everything, realized the lawyers, turned on the meaning of “safe.” Cigarettes, said the FDA were “unsafe, as that term is conventionally understood,” but were indeed “safe” when the effects of an outright ban were considered. According to the FDA, in determining whether a drug delivery device such as a cigarette is “safe” under the Food, Drug, and Cosmetics Act, the agency must consider “not only the risks presented by a product but also any of the countervailing effects of use of the product, including the consequences of not permitting the product to be marketed.”
  • very interesting stuff. rhetoric is a funny thing.
  • …the FDA found that, because of the high level of addiction among tobacco users, a ban would likely be “dangerous.”  …  In particular, current tobacco users could suffer from extreme withdrawal, the health care system and available pharmaceuticals might not be able to meet the treatment demands of those suffering from withdrawal, and a black market offering cigarettes even more dangerous than those currently sold legally would likely develop. … The FDA therefore concluded that, ‘while taking cigarettes and smokeless tobacco off the market could prevent some people from becoming addicted and reduce death and disease for others, the record does not establish that such a ban is the appropriate health response under the act.’ … Thus, in 1996, the FDA ruled that cigarettes and other tobacco products, despite being addictive and dangerous, were “safe” when compared to the much greater dangers associated with prohibition.  Thus, the FDA could have its cake and eat it to; cigarettes were “drugs” within its jurisdiction, yet safe enough that they could be regulated rather than banned.
  • could be interesting stuff for mary jane advocates...it might be interesting to see if lawyers for legalization of certain drugs try and use this precedent in the opposite direction...the black market makes mary jane's effects worse than if it were legalized, therefore it is a matter of societal health to legalize and control mary jane. worth a shot if you are an advocate.
  • it's funny because malcolm x said that nicotine is as addictive, if not more so, than any other drug out there...and he had done just about all of them.
  • i'm tired.

  • 6-15-00 (03:15)

  • mountain dew is starting to kick in. just in time. almost done with the longer paper, bout a half page left.
  • the deal with putting "a" or "an" before the following word is this: if it has a vowel sound following it then you should put "an" if it's a consonant sound then you put an "a" before it. so: half an hour. i have an apple. i have a dick. about a half page left. it's common sense, but most people don't think about it this way. many say you always put "a" before the word if it has a vowel as the first letter. and never before a word whose first letter is a consonant. half an hour proves to throw off this theory. but with my theory it works because "hour" is pronounced "ower" (with a short O, more or less).
  • that was completely unnecessary, but i think it makes sense and if i become a teacher that's one of those things i'll try to impart to the young ones.
  • the more i think about it the more i want to be a government teacher with a loose curriculum. i'll teach the comunist manifesto (except i'll spell it right when i teach it) and other such works.
  • fly on little wing.
  • i added the pol sci 112 paper to the list.

  • 6-15-00 (00:04)

  • listen, to the situation my son, i'm as serious as cancer, all fun is done.
  • really though i have two papers, one 3-5 and one 5 pager, and one final all to be completed by 10am tomorrow. the final is from 8-10 and the papers are really my take home final. then i ride a bus to the airport and catch a wave out of here. twelve hours from now i will be taxing in a plane on my way to home.
  • it's the time in between that matters.
  • last night was super fun. today we had more fun. chlorine, water, sugar, hmmmm.
  • i'll go over my parenting theories quickly. once your child reaches a decent age and he reaches for the hot stove i warn him once, the second time i let him burn himself.
  • on choices: i don't shelter my child from the world's views or the many many choices it offers. i set him up to choose the best one when he encounters them. hiding your kid from reality is a bad thing. of course there are age and maturity requirements for when this happens. hardship builds character, but one must know that their family has always got their back.

  • 6-14-00 (02:09)

  • haven't had much spare time. worked a bit on the take home final, but not enough.
  • johnny is here with marc, his friend from santa cruz/new orleans. we had fun running around.
  • i'm really tired.
  • i have to talk about my theories on parenting the next time i get a chance.
  • the use of "white" doesn't seem to be flying well with most people.
  • played some ball today, went to work, checked out a bunch of videos from the reserves. tired.

  • 6-13-00 (02:13)

  • long day. i went to oakland today to see the aunt, that was fun.
  • they have horrible freeway exit signs around there.
  • be aware of your environment. think about things going on around you. it's hard to do, but it will reap many benefits. i even go so far as to think about the ants i step on. or about the life stories of people i pass in their cars.
  • when i started the car today i thought about how the gas and air was mixing in the carb and then there were explosions because of the compression and all that craziness....it's mind boggling. if you think about too much shit around you it really gets crazy.
  • it's late and my head isn't working.
  • speaking of which i have work tomorrow. johnny is visiting tomorrow too.
  • i have to work on my take home final soon. damn.
  • this is a crazy world. this update was stupid.
  • we need more brother/sisterhood in this world. that's one thing the government should fear. if the people had a sense of brotherhood (different from patriotism) then there is virtually no limit to what we could do. there must be some unity in order to enact real change. we can't always rely on the "talented tenth" to get shit done. where is the talented tenth now? making money in dotcoms i guess.

  • 6-12-00 (01:19)

  • all praise it due to allah for my life, but also to vern/aaron for watching the car while i went to kragen and to scott for the use of his tools.
  • it's odd because the one person i wrote to who i didn't expect a letter back from (trent lott) was the first, and so far only, person to write back. i wrote to the president, governor, senator majority and minority leaders, house majority and minority leaders and the speaker of the house. of all these i least expected the speaker and the senate majority. obviously trent lott is the senate majority leader, but still wrote back. i figured that i would get an automated one from the governor and president and then maybe actual responses from the rest. of course it means nothing the same way my singular vote means nothing. it does mean something in other ways though.
  • updated movie list.
  • i've seen 105 movies this year. far off schedule, but then it's been an uphill battle the whole time. maybe over the summer i'll get some help with other people renting a few movies. when i go home i plan on spending much time in front of my dad's tv watching pay per view and some of the harder to find videos he owns or has taped off AMC and such.
  • saw a biography of W.E.B. DuBois just now. it's amazing that he lived for 95 years, from the 1860s to the 1960s, what a difference. that's just crazy to me.
  • i'll have to agree with malcolm x - there must first be some black-black unity before there is black-white unity. it seems that too often the leaders of the black community spend time fighting each other rather than the system. booker t. washington - well not much to say about that guy. not that great of a leader from what i've heard.
  • i also must agree with malcolm in that i too love to learn, however i don't like reading as much as he did.
  • played some basketball today, just shot around really.
  • how long? not long, because what you reap is what you sow!
  • i think the "i have a dream" speech should be called the "let freedom ring" speech. he says "i have a dream" eight times in the speech and they are mostly toward the middle part of the speech. he says "let freedom ring" seven times and they are at the end of the speech. also, "let freedom ring" sounds more profound and universal than "i have a dream." just a thought.
  • i got 78 hits last week, i'd attribute that to the trip de la MM page being completed. maybe i should go on more trips in order to increase traffic. or not.
  • i should get to sleeping if i'm going to go to oakland tomorrow.
  • i wish tupac, kurt cobain, malcolm x, and MLK were still alive today.

  • 6-11-00 (22:20)

  • i hardly ever go on icq these days.
  • i took out my carb today and cleaned/disassembled it. it was fun and educational. i adjusted the volume control (mixture screw) when i shouldn't have. what happened was i had really bad instructions from this place online. it told me to take out the main jet screw and when i looked at the illustration it didn't match up at all to the actual carb. so from there i just started undoing all the screws i could find. sadly one was the volume control. then there was the fuel line. i had to get a new tube because the old one was clamped on with some really badly designed clamp that didn't allow for adjusting at all. so i went to kragen and asked the guy for some fuel tubing, he had no clue what i was talking about. finally i got the message across. he took me in the back so i could pick which size i wanted. the tubing he was cutting was smooth, without the sheath on the outside like my old fuel line. i asked if it was the same stuff and he said "yea, it's the all the same." then we went to the front to checkout and he couldn't find the tubing prices on the computer, finally he got the manager over to look and while she was showing him how to find it she looked at the tubing and said "didn't you want fuel line?"...i, of course, said yes and she said "oh this is vacuum tubing, it'll get ripped up on the fuel line." then we got the right fuel tubing. she explained later (and i talked to the all-knowing phil about it) that fuel tubing needs extra reinforcement, that vacuum tubing doesn't have. hmmm. so finally i get it all back in the car and ready to go. i pump some fuel into the carb and it fires once and then cuts. i give it a little while, give it some more gas and crank it again. it starts up, really slowing, so i give it more gas. when i let off the gas it dies though. so obviously that volume control screw is off. so i adjust the step on the throttle, crank it up, adjust the volume control and now it's working fine.
  • then i watch the pacers play like they should in a easy win over the lakers.
  • while i was working on the car vern was working on aaron's (a KDVS DJ and fellow classmate) hair. did a fairly good job i must say.
  • while vern was working on aaron's head, uhm, hair i mean, jon was working on painting a house.
  • now none of us are working.
  • i had a crazy fresh dream last night.
  • i'm probably going to go to oak town tomorrow to visit the aunt, just during the day.
  • maybe when phil is up here i'll do some more daring stuff on the car. when i have some tools maybe i'll adjust the valves and such. that reminds me, i added a couple things to the wish list i have.
  • i also might paint my car this summer if i can find some decent, and cheap, paint. just a thought.
  • if i was smart i'd get my take home final out the way now.
  • johnny will probably come up on tuesday and wednesday. yay.

  • 6-11-00 (14:04)

  • it's sunday so there is nothing to do. people have finals tomorrow so there is even less to do.
  • scott went to folsom lake to have some frat boy type fun. sounds good if i like girls but i don't. i'm officially asexual now. i think it'll help my studies and religious pursuits, so all is well.
  • had some crazy mad blts yesterday, had 12 oz of bacon in all, that would amount to (pre-cooked) 360% of my daily allowed saturated fat. i'd say at least half of that was cooked off so i'm not too bad off.
  • i had potential plans to go to my aunt's house in SF, but there hasn't been any response yet. maybe they are at church, or not.
  • then there is the potential camping trip. i have a tent and sleeping bag so i might just go to some wooded area, pitch camp and sleep. but that doesn't happen until later, if it happens.
  • damany (another KDVS jazz DJ) is playing the great charlie mingus track - haitian fight song - a track i just played last week. what a great track.

  • 6-10-00 (18:47)

  • done with two finals and have two to go. i have five days with nothing to do.
  • cooked up some bacon and had me a blt, without the t.
  • had work today.
  • reporting isn't as fun as editorializing, if there is such a word.
  • i think album II of pink floyd's the wall should be album I and album I should be album II, it works better that way.
  • got back that crappy essay. i got a C+ and the TA, who writes like an invalid, wrote on there: "you really need to proofreed before turning work it." - hmmmm, who needs to proofread? it was actually funny reading over some of the comments this guy gave my paper. ho hum.
  • trent lott, senate majority leader, was the first (and so far only) person to have written back to me. he said he agreed about education and the environment being very very important and said that nuclear proliferation was a problem he thought would be best solved by increasing U.S. defense systems. what can i expect - he is a republican. the important thing is that he wrote back rather than sending me a form letter, and actually signed it too. all this from some mississippi senator who has no allegiance to me.
  • going to watch a movie tonight even though i have zero funds.

  • 6-10-00 (00:19)

  • this is the second friday in a row that hasn't sucked. yay.
  • i got a whole load of food stuffs from my awesome grandmother whose birthday it also is.
  • looks like i'm going home for the five free days i have.
  • i have a final tomorrow. it's amazing how little initiative i have to study. imagine if i was a senior, wait i will be a senior in less than a week. crazy.
  • i've been toying with the idea of a second major and thus an extra year of school. hmmmm.
  • "does anybody here remember vera lynn, how she said we will meet again some sunny day."
  • updated movie list.
  • watched a "speeches of MLK" video last night. i have a biography on WEB DuBois video here to watch, probably tomorrow night. it's due tomorrow, so i'll have to renew it while i'm at work.
  • maybe i can snatch up some hours the next four days or so while i'm waiting for my last final. it kinda sucks that i have four days between my last final and the final tomorrow. there is, of course, the take home final that needs to be done sometime by the 15th also. ho hum.
  • there is so much crap i'm supposed to know by tomorrow. this is the same teacher as the final i already had...for that class she gave us a one page review sheet, for this class there are six pages of stuff we are to review. crap.
  • this world definitely needs more feelings of brotherhood. that's something that i have flashes of, but for the most part i don't really portray it in my actions. i gotta do so more often.
  • vern said he never gets phone calls and within the last day he's gotten two on my line and two on his. hmmm.
  • i have lots of stuff to download, it gives me and my computer something to do. yay.
  • fuck the lakers. fuck rick fox. fuck the triangle offense. fuck rik smits. fuck the staples arena. viva la democratic socialism.
  • had some handsome fun with the water balloon looncher. that was dumb....had some fun with the water balloon launhcer.
  • "are there any queers in the theater tonight? get them up against the wall! there's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me - get him up against the wall. and that one looks jewish and that one's a coon!..." -pink floyd, the wall

  • 6-9-00 (03:50)

  • just watched malcolm x on a whim, it's a bit late now.
  • the 60s were amazing.
  • i wish we had great leaders these days.
  • the following was written about Malcolm X' autobiography: "a lifetime spent learning the obvious"  June 30, 1999...Reviewer: A reader from Florida. First of all, what kind of autobiography is written by someone other than the subject of the autobiography? That would be like me writing the autobiography of President Clinton. The proper word here is biography NOT autobiography. Poor Malcom. He spends an entire life learning the obvious. I was not impressed. Of course, anger is a dead end. Of course, the Muslims aren't all they would like us to think they are. Of course, a life of petty crime is a dead end. If he had actually shut up for a while and listened to other people, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble, and maybe still be alive. But some people are so dense they will not listen but need to hit their heads against the wall over and over again. These are the unteachable ones who need to reinvent the wheel rather than borrow it.

  • 6-8-00 (17:08)

  • well the gig is up, no one noticed that the updated on the 4th wasn't written by me, in fact it was written by luke. there's no way i could make an update as funny. there's also no way that i would borrow a foreigner cd from anyone, nor would i say foreigner is better than elo.
  • today it rained. that was white.
  • updated the wack ass poll
  • i finished malcolm x' autobiography. i've got so much respect for him. it was worth spending 6 months on, any less would have been an insult. i'm going to read the epilogue by alex haley next - it's about 80 pages so that'll be fun.
  • i was accosted by a christian today who said my only path to heaven was by admitting i'm a sinner and that jesus is my savior. i'll do that later. he also said that the bible is unflawed. i think his thinking is flawed, but that's okay (ala stuart smiley).
  • fuck the lakers to hell. i bomb your place. die.
  • i've nothing to do.
  • seven hours from now will be the celebration of a great woman's birth - recognize.
  • you must also recognize the greatness of roger waters. syd who?
  • 6-8-00 (01:28)
  • my computer either restarts itself or someone is using it, either way it's pretty white.
  • had a final today which was white. got back a test grade which was not very white.
  • malcolm x is boss.
  • i'm tired. we had some fun with the water balloon launcher tonight.

  • 6-7-00 (01:50)

  • i have a horrid fear of bitches. packs of them. it's happened before and it'll happen again. the first time the bitches first hit me in full force was in 6th grade. i was in between schools at the time because i had been kicked out so i had to go to some daycare place in culver city. there were about 4-5 girls there all about my age who had been there before me. they made me feel as welcome as a rat among cats. they really did tear into me in every way possilbe, except physically. they would make me think i was cool with them just to play some horrible joke on me. or they would just make fun of me for no reason. perhaps the worst thing about it was that they could always resort to the "we're just kidding, lighten up" excuse. that's always the kicker because it adds insult to injury. from that day forth i saw that i must never again get caught in the bitch pack again, it's too trying of an experience. i doubt that anyone knows, really knows, what it was like. girls can definitely be worse than guys, no doubt. i wonder what it about women that allow them to come in packs like that. it was honestly an emotional gangrape. there's one thing that's also for sure, you don't ever want to get a girl pissed off. if i ever get a girlfriend i know one day i'll piss her off and that'll be the end of a lot of things. fuck that shit.
  • the above came from nowhere, but it's all true.

  • 6-7-00 (00:00)

  • played some crappy basketball today. most of it was crappy anyway.
  • i have a final tomorrow which will be great fun.
  • so i'm at the part of the book where malcolm x goes on his pilgrimage and discovers that being white is a state of mind and a set of actions, i discovered this not too long ago, and much earlier in my life than malcolm x did in his. i'd say that's worth something.
  • i sent out a grip of emails today. that will prove to be a sound investment.

  • 6-6-00 (00:59)

  • i think it's good to have hardship, it builds character and perspective. there is also a difference between knowing a perspective and having actually experienced that perspective. i know what it must be like to live in a third world country without any money but i've never really experienced it. seeing it would be one step closer but not the same as experiencing it. i'm glad i lived in a bad part of la for a while. i actually feel bad for people who were always sheltered from that kind of stuff.
  • i much prefer reality over peace of mind and white two story houses. at the same time reality is best served in occasional doses.
  • people get excited by different things, for me it's mass action by the people. i get goosebumps when i see people taking matters into their own hands, it's just really awesome to me. in the latest rage against the machine they do a skit of a mock "who wants to be a millionaire?" - it's called "who wants to be filthy f%$&*@# rich?"...at any rate there are questions about various things like "how many people live in the U.S. live in poverty?" ... at the end this black guy dressed in rags wins the jackpot and they are shoving money into his arms and he's holding all of it and then throws it all back at them, from there a riot ensues. it was pretty exciting stuff. i like it when people decide not to sellout, in this case he just happened to start a bit of a violent protest at the same time.
  • if anyone gets me a cell phone for my birthday i'll be sorely disappointed.
  • even thought i'm not much of a folk fan, it can have it's moments. i can definitely see how a whole generation could be so moved by bob dylan, he's pretty damned boss.
  • 21 in less than a month, moving in less than 3, graduating in 12.
  • this quarter has gone quickly. time is very strange. an hour can seem so long sometimes, but a year can seem like nothing. it's hard to believe that my mom had my sister when she was still in her twenties.
  • i always think of being old as any age past 40 because physically you aren't as sharp anymore. but there's a full 20 years between 40 and 60. this is obvious, but it's strange to think that that is for me a whole lifetime. at the same time you don't really change much between 40 and 60. you might change jobs a couple times you probably won't be retired. by far the first 20 years are the most exciting. and the 10 after that are interesting, but after that it seems a lot harder to "one up" what you've done before. by the time i'm 40 i will have seen every classic movie on my list and then some. i will own all the classic albums i want. i will have hitchhiked, lived in a van, finally gotten laid (hopefully), and more. what comes after that? maybe by that time i'll be a self-actualized person thanks to my self-help books and tapes and will be better equiped to find my true love. or not.
  • speaking of finding true love, i really had rather not find that shit until a lot later. i'd rather not be tied down at twenty something. what a drag that would be.
  • in utero is a very solid album which ends extremely well.
  • i've updated my extensive wish list somewhat lately. i can't come up with too many things i want as presents.
  • updated movie list.
  • sleep time.

  • 6-5-00 (16:38)

  • what do you say to a kid who asks you "why can't everyone be equal?" .... "why doesn't socialism work?" the answer is because people are stupid.
  • work early was tiring.
  • this is the last week of class, yay.
  • about 90 percent of my emails are sent to four people.
  • 80 percent of the country's wealth is owned by the top 10 percent of the people.
  • 45 million people don't have health care.
  • you care so much you wrote to your representative this month and voted in the last election.

  • 6-5-00 (01:34)

  • the first minute of pink floyd's dark side of the moon is so perfect, builds just right.
  • updated movie list.
  • check out the trip page
  • check out the poll
  • i really like war movies because it really speaks to man at its best and worst and most irrational. great stuff. of my top six favorite movies i own, three are war movies. dr. strangelove, great escape, and full metal jacket.
  • dr. strangelove is so great. it ends with the timeless vera lynn tune "we'll meet again" which you old coots will remember. pink floyd of course has a song dedicated to her on "the wall"...actually a lot of the same anti-war themes in the movie as on the album. great minds think alike.
  • i could see pink floyd eventually passing up metallica on my list.
  • i was reading cosmo today because i wanted my mind to be numbed. i can't possibly impart to you how retarded and demeaning that magazine is. i honestly think it does more to demean women than porn does. inside the magazine they had a story on how to attract guys...one of the pointers was to suck in your stomach. there was another part that listed "six things every cosmo woman carries"...a cell phone was one of them - "so you can always be clued in"
  • the mcdonalds commercial that shows a group of young kids coming to the counter and labels them future mcdonalds staff is sad, at the same time there are things to be learned from working at such a place.
  • onto more important things. ha ha.
  • blazers handed the game to an overrated lakers team. the blazers didn't do the little things it took. had it been homecourt they would have won. had they gotten a few calls that they probably should have, they would have won. there were several instances that i saw where people weren't boxing out correctly or were making mental mistakes.
  • pippen played well, but missed a 3 pointer that would have made him a champion. it would have given them back the lead, silenced the crowd, and given them some momentum. i wish larry bird was still playing so he could ball the lakers up.
  • here's the thing with post-michael jordan basketball...there's a real lack of great players who can create for themselves and their teammates who also use their head. once bird and magic left there was a void, then jordan stepped up in a big way. now the only people left who have the whole package are stockton and malone. kobe bryant has more talent than either of those, but doesn't have the mental aspect down yet. yet. i hate him. there was a point late in the game when the lakers were down by 16 when i thought for sure kobe was going to try and take over himself. he didn't. i was impressed and i'm sure he got props for that from phil jackson later on.
  • played some basketball today and had some good plays. basketball is a lot about confidence. confidence in yourself and your teammates. today it was there.
  • i'd like to be on the basketball or track team just as a coach's shadow.
  • pink floyd really is boss.
  • i have to wake up at 9am tomorrow that sucks. i think i have a final on wednesday. i'll be playing basketball on tuesday. i wish i was taller or had more hops, ups, verts, etc.
  • levi, this guy we play basketball with, said today "i give you props for that one chris" today. i about broke down and cried.
  • when people remember my name i take it as a huge compliment.
  • this world is really stupid quite often, but i guess we have to ride the wave.
  • almost forgot, but not sure why...got the water balloon launcher and today we tested it out in a big way. damn it makes those buggers fly. got my aim down pretty well too. they were going over 120 yards i'd say.

  • 6-4-00 (16:00)

  • i borrowed Marina's Foreigner CD and listened to it 3 times while I was updating the pics. ive decided that their laid back and romantic songs own ELO on my list.  i will listen a few more times before I make it official.
  • the problem with Capitalism is that not everyone can be rich. whats up with that?
  • dreamed last night I was swimming in the Ocean and I didnt have any feet. I instead had 4 hands.  I was scared but then again I was very happy.
  • last night I was pretty bored so I went and practiced my strokes on the back wall. Id say im not quite proficient at painting but close to where I want to be.
  • i cant believe I spelled proficient right on the first try.
  • went and looked in the mirror and found that I am indeed white. White.
  • ryan doesnt update anymore. I used to think he was cool but not anymore.
  • for whats it worth, Safeway's Mountain Dew is better than real Mountain Dew. That will save me some precious money.

  • 6-4-00 (15:00)

  • i had a dream that the blazers won today.
  • if the trip page isn't loading all the pictures for you then you can right click on the place where the pic is supposed to be and choose "show picture" or you can just click reload...sometimes the browser will timeout because it's trying to download all the pics at once rather than one at a time. if you use internet explorer it shouldn't happen. it should also take about 3-4 mins to load all the pictures and text on a 56K.
  • i think i might add some more text in between the pictures to compensate for the long loading time. that way you'll be reading stuff while waiting for the pictures below to load. it took me 5 mins to load the color page and all the pictures came up.
  • mom thanks for teaching me that noise is pollution.

  • 6-4-00 (04:24)

  • watched a movie.
  • wasted a lot of time working on a page dedicated to the trip. mostly worked on doing shit with the pictures, resizing, changing to black and white, etc. i think i made it so that people will be able to view them nicely on most computers and shouldn't take too too long to load up.
  • today was pretty boring.
  • i go the water balloon launcher and we tried it out a bit. with some adjustments we should be able to make it perform nicely. fun stuff.
  • music makes you happy even after your girlfriend dumps you, your best friend dies, and your frat brothers pass out.
  • so check out the trip page, it's nothing great, it's just there.

  • 6-3-00 (22:49)

  • here's how i'll break it down. my favorite led zeppelin album is the one i'm listening to at the time. the same applies to the beastie boys and pink floyd.
  • here's what sucks. when you've got about 4 friends. one is gone and the other 3 commit to doing something on a saturday night then they all back out on saturday night. or it could be that i'm overreacting and it was just a loose agreement, not a commitment. that's what my wife will say as we're filling out the divorce papers.
  • i'm never getting married and neither is george clooney (he said so in a recent interview).
  • i guess one good thing about being attached to your girlfriend at the hip is that you won't break agreements to get together.
  • johnny hooked it up, i now have all the pictures from the trip on my computer.
  • on another brick in the wall i thought they were saying 'no thoughts of chasm' really they're saying 'no dark sarcasm'...i like mine better.
  • oh right, the pictures. they might be up soon. maybe, maybe not. i could back out of that at the last second you won't know till it happens because i'm like that. tough luck for you.
  • guess i'll go pay cut throat rates at the only video store that is open now. 4 bucks for a new release is insane.

  • 6-3-00 (01:12)

  • johnny is hooking me up big time with the scanned pictures from the trip, he's the bomb. this of course means there will be a few more pics up soon enough. and whenever vern gets around to finishing off his roll and getting those scanned those will be up as well.
  • jon is going to be painting with us i guess. the bug will be happier.
  • let's talk about the over-reaction syndrome. the DOW goes down by 250 points and people have heart attacks. next month it reaches a record high. shaq makes 11 free throws in a row and people dub him "mr. automatic" (as in he's automatically going to make free throws now). next game he misses 6 in a row. these are true stories and just the tip of the ice berg. i think people need to check themselves. as epmd put it "you gots ta chill"
  • oh yea, there's this song called "your time is gonna come" by led zeppelin (my favorite band) and it fucking rocks. it seems like john paul jones and george harrison are very alike in some ways. john paul jones was on the best rock band ever. george harrison the second best rock band ever. both played bass. both were unsung greats from the band. as it turns out - two of my favorite beatles songs were written by george. by george! and of course the great john paul jones plays organ, piano, and mellotron. john and george, i salute you.
  • the first three songs on side b of led zeppelin I are so perfect in composition, style, sequence, everything. good lord. the two worst songs on led zeppelin I (not that there are any bad songs, but the two that are weakest) weren't written by led zeppelin.
  • played some late night b-ball which was fun.
  • even more fun was watching the lakers get the heads handed to them by the blazers. i hope to the almighty lord below that the blazers kick some laker bootay on sunday at 4:30pm PT. they have the tools, they've shown this. they have the heart. they have the coaching and ability in every way, it's just a matter of the right people stepping up at the right times to keep the lakers in check. look for shaq to score big. pippen needs to get off offensively and so do at least two people from the bench - maybe bonzi wells and detlef. damn it's going to be fun.
  • let me listen to music, play basketball and watch sports for the rest of my life and i'll be happy.
  • capitalism is bad because it breeds a mentality which is not at all conducive to democracy or healthy social living. it calls for competition in situations which determine quality of life. competition is fine when it doesn't involve losing your job and the consequences that go along with that. socialism, although not likely to work in real life, at least doesn't work because of people's limitations. namely it doesn't work because people don't have 'incentive' to work, or don't feel that they do. it at least attempts to breed a sense of community and equality. capitalism feels to me to be so primordial in its nature. yet it seems to have worked better than any other economic system so far - on a large scale. i used to say that industrialism screwed the world up - the environment has suffered, the working class has suffered (i don't see anymore workers guilds with the same power as back in the day), and division of labor which is part of the industrial revolution has made humans cogs in a machine. well i was wrong - it wasn't the industrial revolution, it was the system that encouraged that revolution - capitalism. i love being able to have a stereo system and a computer, but when it comes down to it those things, and many of the things we take for granted, aren't rights when there are people out there who don't have clothes, shelter or food. we haven't gotten to the point where health care, food, or shelter are rights. this is sad to me. we may regard them as rights, and surely we do take some steps to ensure people have opportunity to this end, but meanwhile we allow bill gates, et al., freedom to run around with gross amounts of money. i love freedom, but i say that freedom isn't a right until people human rights are granted - those being food, clothing, and shelter. it's not as simple as picking yourself up by your bootstraps. it's not the peoples' faults. it's a societal problem and i wish people would start to recognize that.
  • "breathe, breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care. leave, but don't leave me. look around, choose your own ground. long you live and high you fly. and smiles you'll give, and tears you'll cry. and all you touch, and all you see. is all your life will ever be. run rabbit run. dig that hole, forget the sun. and when at last the work is done. don't sit down, it's time to start another one. for long you live, and high you fly. but only if, you ride the tide. and balanced on the biggest wave. you race towards an early grave." -roger waters
  • rick fox is a little girl. rik smits needs to get game. lj ain't that hot. pat ewing needs to get some knees. r. miller isn't going to win a championship. l. bird should coach next year, but won't. s. pippen needs to step it up. kobe is a little bitch. shaq is a big bitch. rick fox is still a little girl.
  • i woke up this morning and thought the day was going to suck. i'm really happy it didn't. this is why you need people.
  • winamp finally released something new.

  • 6-2-00 (00:37)

  • i done been up for 62 hours with only 3 total hours of sleep. no problem.
  • i should sleep soon, but first:
  • updated movie list.
  • i hope that i am one day able to get action without acting like a woman about it.
  • i hope that if i die people will laugh a lot and bumb some block rockin' beats interspersed with mellow, but equally good, songs.
  • pet sounds is good. brian wilson went to a shrink in the same building as mine back in the day. i think he was a bit more fucked up than me.
  • thanks mom for teaching me to turn off lights when i'm done using them and to only turn on lights when i need them.
  • i should sleep now.
  • give me liberty or give me death.
  • check out the last picture from the sky i will be posting for a long time:

  • This is where I did much of the hardcore running while on outruns (4th and San Vicente in Santa Monica)
    The arrows on the left show the route we would run to do the "channels" - all up hill for 900m, they sucked.
    At the end of those we often would see Sugar Ray Leonard - this was when he was training for Macho Camacho.
    The arrows on the right were called "islands" a perfect half mile flat run (one mile round-trip) which extends to Montana Blvd (off the map)
    The "X" on the bottom of the picture is where I saw Jamie Lee Curtis in a tight little workout number. mmmm
    Just to the right of the "X" is where the Santa Monica Track Club coach hung out a lot. We would talk once in a while.
    Obviously the Santa Monica Track club is pretty big in running circles - they still own one of the world records for relay. Carl Lewis, Leroy Burrell, etc. were all part of it.
    The biggest street in the picture, running diagonally across is San Vicente. O.J.'s woman lived four miles up and off of this road.

    6-1-00 (16:44)
  • i just took some ecstasy, no telling what the side effects could be. -dr. dre
  • i get all the news i need on the weather report. -paul simon
  • i should get my water balloon launcher by saturday. -chris miller
  • updated cd list.

  • 6-1-00 (10:15)

  • well 2.1 spacing is close enough to double and 12 pt arial is close enough to 12 pt times new roman and 10 pages is close enough to "about 12 pages" so i'm officially done with my paper. i hate length requirements, i prefer guidelines. it's all in the thesis choice. we'll see if i get docked for picking a small topic and not writing very much. at this point i'm not too certain i care.
  • i have work and then class and then i'm done with the day.
  • i don't look forward to the radio show like i used to.

  • 6-1-00 (07:31)

  • hmm it's a 12 page paper i found out. i'd say i'm about half way done thanks to a longer than expected nap.
  • it's interesting stuff, but there's only so much one can say while sticking to the thesis. maybe i should expand the thesis. maybe i should just finish this paper and turn it in.
  • i need to take a shower and shave.
  • i've had 7 - 12 oz. cans of mountain dew within the last 36 hours...nothing compared to last year.
  • i'm about half way done and 90 percent out of ideas.
  • this paper sucks and i hate it.
  • i put the past updates where they belong.

  • 6-1-00 (01:50)

  • just the two of us. just the two of us and two more. just the three of us. just what the fuck?
  • well my midterm went well and i dumped the paper off without dying.
  • one last paper to go - 10 pages. i'm on page zero. reminds me of a public enemy song - "she watch channel zero"
  • this paper will be harder to write and will expand me brain a bit more, mate.
  • i'm tired and sleepy now. most of the day i was only tired, but not sleepy. during work i was neither.
  • work was dope once vern pulled himself away from the idiot box incarnate. there were some fine ladies with which to do nothing special. i think that women at this age are meant to annoy. to me they are the unattainable fruit. i don't think i really want any fruit right now anyway - it give me the runs and thus slows me down. i'd rather be able to run around the fruit trees looking, but not sampling. running is good. the runs aren't. women cause diarrhea.

  • with this level of creativity flowing i should get to writing this paper.
     

    5-31-00 (08:42)

  • well it's all done, printed out and all. shit that was a little bit of a bitch.
  • i should study for my midterm now.
  • i have work/class until 11pm tonight.
  • i have a 10-12 page paper due tomorrow. i love being a student.
  • in total (appendices and title page) the paper was 20 pages. the meat of it was 16 full pages. that be the longest crap i done taken since that bbq back in 96. i don't know what i'm talking about.

  • 5-31-00 (05:43)

  • i'm more than half way through and coming along easily. i've wasted lots of time by doing nothing in particular. i've got about 5 hours so maybe i should just finish this shit up.
  • why don't you vote?
  • why do you vote?
  • uh, check out my poll in case you haven't already.

  • 5-31-00 (02:51)

  • i'm about 5 pages through this piece o' shit and on my last guns and roses CD.
  • i wonder what my life and the world will be like when i'm 60.
  • i'm all about working under pressure.
  • i'm all about not proof reading my papers.
  • i'm all about eating more chocolate tonight than i should have.
  • i'm all about moving pink floyd ahead of ELO.
  • i'm all about getting more pink floyd and them moving them ahead of the stones, STP, deep purple, the doors, ac/dc, and CCR. it could happen.
  • i'm all about updating my wish list.
  • i'm all about coors commercials that have almost nothing to do with beer.
  • i'm all about coors commercials that talk about "the catch" (joe montana to dwight clark).
  • i'm all about telling you what "the catch" is if you don't already know.
  • i'm all about ridiculing your ignorance before i tell you about "the catch"

  • 5-30-00 (22:56)

  • haven't started the paper yet, but i think i'm done writing the questionnaire and tabulating the results thereof.
  • jon just discovered that the paper was due tomorrow, i wonder what he was thinking. it's all good though because he's got 17 hours to write it up. i, however, have 12 because i need to attend all my classes 1) because of a group project in the first class which counts toward our paper grade and 2) because there is a midterm in my second class. thus i must be done by 11am.
  • it's guns and roses all night. last week it was led zeppelin all night. after i'm done with guns and roses, which will happen in another 2.5 hours or so, i'll have to move onto black sabbath or nirvana, not sure which yet.
  • so that water balloon launcher that hasn't come yet didn't come because i didn't put in a mailing address when ordering it. this was the first time i had any problem with buying something online and it was my fault.
  • oh, i called my bank and asked for contact information for the charge to the water balloon company and this guy gave me the run around about needing more information than i was giving him...i told him i needed the phone number of the company that billed my account...he said he needed to know how much the transaction was for and when it was, i told him it was about 3 weeks ago for around 25 bucks. without looking it up he said "i'm going to need more information than that" i told him that the exact charge was 24.95, then he said that he wasn't getting anything coming up for that amount...the whole time he was a real asshole. so i asked for his manager. i told the manager the same thing "24.95 about 3 weeks ago" then he said he had a phone number for the company and he gave it to me. what the fuck was that other guy's problem? he was being a dick for the sake of being a dick.
  • i hate the lakers with a passion. the officiating staff was horrible - they made three really bad calls, two late in the game. the blazers still won. i really hope they win the series, but i doubt they will. i have always had a distinct dislike for scottie pippen. this changed when he came to portland. here is his chance to prove to me that he's a solid, clutch player who can shine in the clutch. he showed it today, but he'll have to do it again in game 6.
  • if we got abc i'd watch the NHL finals...dallas versus new jersey, should be fun stuff. i haven't watched hockey in a long time.
  • i have plenty of mountain dew.

  • 5-30-00 (17:25)

  • watch the basketball game or start working on my 15 page paper? i think we know the answer to that.
  • Time

  • "ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
    you fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
    kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
    waiting for someone or something to show you the way
    tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
    you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
    and then one day you find ten years have got behind you
    no on told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
    and you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
    and racing around to come up behind you again
    the sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
    shorter of breath and one day closer to death
    every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
    plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
    hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
    the time is gone the song is over, thought i'd something more to say"
    -Pink Floyd (Roger Waters)

    5-30-00 (11:25)

  • got a haircut the other day, from vern...i saved myself 11 bucks.
  • paint training was yesterday. would have earned about 50 bucks after taxes had it been a job. this summer should be interesting.
  • i have quite a day ahead of me...15 page paper is due tomorrow i also have a midterm tomorrow. then there is a 10 page paper due on thursday. the next two days will be fun.
  • i'm going to update my wish list soon.
  • i have work soon.

  • 5-29-00 (03:45)

  • reasons sundays suck:

  • everything is closed.
    nothing to do.
    church goers dominate the landscape.
    no mail.
    no class.
    no work.
  • i think i like the week more than the weekend, i really do.
  • just got back from a late night movie thanks to steve...he opened up the theater after hours and had another free showing.
  • updated movie list.
  • going to paint training in a few hours. i'm going to be tired.
  • if i had unlimited money i'd get some fillings for my teeth and get my car in good working shape. i don't have money though.
  • called my dad he never called back. happy birthday.
  • fuck the lakers.
  • one email today. white.
  • it's too late to worry about anything but sleep.

  • 5-28-00 (01:27)

  • i just realized (thanks to my mom's reminder) that tomorrow is my dad's birthday.
  • updated movie list.
  • yea today was officially boring.
  • pink floyd is moving up in my book. the wall is great, it bears repeating.
  • had like three dinners today from 6pm-11:30pm. that's a bad way to eat i think. i've got lots of food. had artichoke, breakfast burritos, pasta, and sausage today along with a smoothie. tomorrow i'll only have one dinner. maybe i should wake up in time for lunch. i probably will because the game is on.
  • it's a good thing that the one channel we get is nbc which carries the basketball games, if not i might blow up the world or something stupid.
  • i'm going to sleep. it's two thirty.

  • 5-27-00 (22:19)

  • this day has been really very boring. it seems everyone has a life but me. even work was boring. basketball was so so.
  • watched one movie there is another playing but i'm not watching.
  • i should start my papers today and get them over with. ha.
  • i'll just watch the fucking movie, shit what a cop out.

  • 5-27-00 (02:30)

  • i was just talking about religion the other day and today i watched dogma which talked about religion a lot.
  • updated movie list.
  • saw portland lose a 14 point lead. that was sad shit.
  • played some basketball today which was fun.
  • the show was run of the mill.
  • i've got work tomorrow which kinda sucks because i wanted to sleep all day.
  • i don't do very much while i'm on the computer. i'm not on the computer very much either.
  • i don't like elitism. i am a part of it...say when it comes to music i sort of am (to a much lesser degree than most kdviates), i am sometimes with food, but my point is that thinking you are better than someone because of your standards isn't good. on the same note i'd like to say that anyone who thinks that britney spears has real musical talent should have something bad done to them. ahhh yes, the duality of man. contradictory chris. the ubiquitous inner battle.
  • hard to believe i spelled ubiquitous right on the first try.
  • i want a girlfriend to love and hold. oh wait, nevermind i'd rather not feel bad for going out with the guys, get jealous when some other guy starts hitting on her, or get dumped again. calvin klein - contradiction.
  • i'm hungry, but it's late and i'm tired.
  • i should eat breakfast and lunch rather than two late dinners. i don't really have time in the morning though. i don't make time, that is.
  • i don't think life is a science, but i wish it was more predictable and consistent like science. i'd like to know what breakfast has historically made my days the best. in sports they have all these funky stats - when glen rice gets more than 6 points in the first 3 mins, ate pancakes for breakfast, and is playing on the home court his team wins 90% of its games. if it were like that then i could find out what things i should be doing each day to get the best chance at life happiness and alignment with god. or something.
  • problem with most webpages out there is the lack of updating.
  • i'm tired.

  • 5-26-00 (00:48)

  • i just watched a movie for 2hours and 9mins...it was the fastest 129mins in my life. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is the cool hand luke of mental hospitals...great.
  • updated movie list.
  • everyone's gone, that's rare for a thursday night...at least in this house it is. jon is with some friends and i have no clue where the other jokers went.
  • i'll have pictures from the trip up in no time...johnny is scanning them right now for me. go johnny.
  • i think it's cool that jon doesn't drink anymore.
  • there seems to be a christian movement on campus. this week is officially "jesus week"...how such a thing happens i don't know. i really (i'm serious) want a satan week if they're going to have a jesus week. sure jesus was a nice guy and supposedly a martyr, but satan stood up for his beliefs...individuality...he didn't submit to god, i think satan is pretty bomb ass for not rolling over and taking it in the rear from god. to me satan doesn't represent pure evil he just represents individuality and not feeling guilty for fucking up. Billy Bibbit in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest felt guilty for something and if you've seen the movie you know the outcome of that. fuck jesus week.
  • oh then there's the "i agree with jessica" craze. these people on campus are wearing these eye-sore shirts (neon green) that say "I Agree With Jessica" on the front. in the aggie the story behind the shirts is this: Jessica ?Smith? is a christian and is happy that she is, so happy that she's making some speech about why she's christian...pretty fucking ridiculous if you ask me. so i was walking with a friend of mine and we saw some happy looking person wearing one of these shirts and he asked "oh where did you get that shirt"..."he he, i got it on the quad =)"..."oh, are they handing them out?"..."he ha he, well, yea they cost seven bucks"..."that's a rip off" turns his back and walks away, i do the same while still in disbelief...then i burst out in laughter. so i know i shouldn't be such an ass, but good lord it was funny and she was so cliche that it couldn't have been scripted better.
  • i'll get off that topic. apparently we have a girl on our track team who runs the 800m in 2:09...about .5 sec slower than our school record. she's third in the nation too. what gets me about this is that i ran a 2:12 senior year and that was when i barely trained...i made up partially for not working out by almost throwing up after every race because i pushed myself so hard, but it's still surprising. i thought for sure our school record would have been better than that.
  • i just looked on a few sites and discovered that the women's 800m times for most colleges, even division I schools, aren't much better than 2:09...this really surprises me, i'm used to having my times be worse than college women by more than just 3 seconds. damn if i had joined track as a woman i would have won the division II national title no problem. 3 seconds improvement could have happened within the first year. i'd be the freshman phenom. of course if i ran as a male then i'd get my ass pretty throughly rocked. if i ran track i'd probably be running the 3000m anyway...not enough speed for the shorter ones, not in college anyway. damn i really miss track. so many memories. i loved just swooping on fools in that last 150-200m, just taking them down. things were good junior year. then some bitch asked me if i wanted to be her boyfriend and my track coach left. both fucking sucked.
  • i need to start running again. i solves lots of problems.
  • i want a sticker that says "question authority"
  • i'm going to run now.

  • 5-25-00 (17:26)

  • so i'm at home listening to pink floyd's dark side of the moon when i got this credit card bill in the mail and i've never even used the card so i called the fuckers up and this guy answers. i tell him the situation and he says he'll look me up in the computer. then he says 'i hear some dark side of the moon there, right?' i say yes and he says that he was just listening to it last night. i say that's a weird coincidence because so was i, as i went to sleep. the world is funny.
  • tired still.
  • i had mashed potatoes and sausage last night, it was good. first time i've made mashed potatoes by myself. with a few exceptions most of the people i know can't really cook for shit. my mom did a pretty decent job of learning me about that stuff.
  • i think i'll make a sandwich now.
  • sandwich is done. just signed up for classes. it's cold inside. i want to play basketball.
  • didn't get the kdvs job...the chicks did.
  • This is the rest stop where we got our ride back home from.
    "X" is where I asked Katie for a ride. The arrow marks where we were walking from.

    5-25-00 (01:07)

  • today's long day is just about over. it was even cooler outside today and thus the a/c was only on for 12 hours. discomfort builds character.
  • paper is finished, outline is finished, next tuesday/wednesday nights should be extremely white.
  • i slept on the grass outside of class today for about 40 minutes, man that was nice. i was so tired i was able to do it, but it was damn nice.
  • work was fun for the last half or so. today was pretty long, but not too shabby. got paid so that's good.
  • i want to sleep outside a few nights just because. i'm going to sleep now.

  • 5-24-00 (09:28)

  • done. tired. hungry.
  • i should do my group outline now.
  • did it...what's really gay is when you start running out of everything at once. laundry detergent, shaving cream, printer paper, stamps, sanity...i bought 100 stamps the other day.
  • i think the united states postal service kicks ass.

  • 5-24-00 (04:45)

  • i'm tired. i'm done with two pages. i have an outline due tomorrow in another one of her stupid classes. damn i hate this teacher.
  • i have work tomorrow until 11pm...i'm going to be dying.
  • the sun rises soon enough.

  • 5-24-00 (03:40)

  • "in the light" is an awesome song.
  • "bron-yr-aur"...acoustic tour de force.
  • we had an election today. well it was really just a vote on a bond measure...for schools...i voted, of course. and i voted yes, of course. i asked the people who were working at the ballot location how many people they had...7...pretty damn fucking sad, it was 5pm. fuck you for not voting. you're over it.

  • 5-24-00 (02:03)

  • i should start. ha.
  • at any rate, led zeppelin is so godfucking good it's impossible to express it using language. just imagine listening to beethoven's 9th...the power, the beauty, a mere mortal produced, arranged, conducted, and wrote the whole thing. led zeppelin is the same way. four guys who did what they did best and they made it all work together. they did it in an industry that eats people up and spits them out in a matter of a year. they did it for 10 years...and what stopped them? john bonham died in 1979, that's what. it's like what stopped the real iron man's (lou gehrig) streak? he got lou gehrig's disease, no joke. the beatles were great, don't get me wrong. fuck the stones, ccr, the who, were all great bands, but led zeppelin...well led zeppelin is just led zeppelin.
  • scott explained to me a bit on how to count music...i think i actually understand a bit of it...as long as it's 4/4 i can count it. some good that does, but it's kinda cool to know how to do it.
  • i should start this paper.

  • 5-23-00 (23:51)

  • living in davis gets me 24 more minutes of sunshine in my day...the sun sets at 8:18 here and 7:54 in los angeles. i think that's cool.
  • it's a lot easier to make yourself happy by making others happy first. it's too much work to get really good at something in order to boost your own self-esteem. buying stuff for yourself usually doesn't have the desired effect. so, i've concluded that it's a lot easier to just make others happy thereby making you happy. making people laugh is always nice.
  • i talked to the guy who lives in his van today...i saw him at kdvs. he's dope. we talked about the van and how i was thinking of doing the same thing, we talked about the hitchhiking trip and he said he wanted to do that, and we talked about music a bit.
  • spring in davis lasted 2 weeks...it seems.

  • 5-23-00 (22:54)

  • i've got 13 hours to write 10 pages...hmmm. i should get to it then.
  • played basketball today and that rocked. some people still don't know my name, but i'll keep having to step up my play until they do. i've noticed that a lot of them watch people play rather than moving without the ball...that's the biggest thing, i think, that separates the recreational baller from the competitive one. i think i'm actually getting to the point where i'm not afraid of having the ball. it used to be that if i had the ball all i would think about was my missing a shot if i took it or throwing the ball to the wrong person or getting it stolen if i tried to dribble.
  • we had a bit of a tournament today in basketball. we split up into 4 teams of 4 and then played two games. vern and i were on the same team with another good player and one really tall guy who was basically our rebounder. we clicked really well and won all our games, it was good to be on a winning team.
  • this paper is white, gay, dumb and stupid.
  • had my last day of bike class.
  • this quarter has gone by relatively quickly, so far. next week will be interesting.
  • according to precedent i should get action within the next week and a half.
  • led zeppelin will be my soundtrack to this paper...from led zeppelin I to in through the out door...in chronological order. i should start now.
  • Disneyland in all its glorious whiteness
    5-22-00 (23:19)
  • someone breaks their finger...is this a horrible thing, a mildly bad thing or no big deal at all? i think it matters HOW the person broke their finger. life is interesting like that. if i broke my finger while helping out some asshole who still thinks i'm his friend move then it would suck and just add (in this case) injury to insult. but if i broke my finger while having wild sex with some hot french model then i would probably reduce it to a testament to my pimping style. in both cases the end result is the same, but with distinctly different feelings towards the injury. read "how to want what you have."
  • the GM at the station called and is giving me an interview for the asst. publicity director position. vern got the call too. this is despite my turning in a last second application. in fact i turned in one for vern too, thinking that he hadn't turned one it....we thought the deadline was friday and then (on thursday) both realized it was due that day. having left our cellphones at home we had no way to contact each other so he turned in one for himself and emailed me to do the same. i turned one in for me and then another for him. i'm sure it looked odd to see two for vern being turned in. such is life.
  • i got so much done on my paper. wait nevermind i watched a movie.
  • there's a kenwood car cd receiver/radio that can decode mp3 files...so you can burn a cd with mp3 files on it and it'll play the files. that means up to 10 hours worth of music on one cd...being played in your car. nice shit.
  • our TV sucks big time...we get one channel. the lakers game wasn't televised up here i guess. it's quite white because i really wanted to see portland kick their ass. maybe i shouldn't say that since i have no idea who won yet.
  • the high for today was 99 degrees, most of the day it was in the mid-90s. crazy shit.
  • if you're in santa cruz you can probably look for it to be in the mid 80s tomorrow.
  • more pictures from the trip, and otherwise, to come, but for now - feast your eyes on this one...once i get the pictures from the trip...including vern's pictures...scanned i'll make a page dedicated to the trip.
  • webpages are great to document your memories. better than journals...well easier anyway.
  • here's the kicker! right along that bend is where the train wreck happened. the box represents our position when the train stopped. the rest of the train stretched a long way south along the track. but the actual break in the link happened just about 6 cars ahead of us at the leftmost part of the bend in the rail. the "X" marks approx. where we hiked to after i saw the conductor approaching. you can see why vern didn't want to run across the highway - there's a blind spot either way you look so you can't see if a highway patrolman is coming. 1 mile north of here is Lamoine - if you remember, it's the town where we first went, but it had no services. from there we hiked south about 6 miles along the 5 until we reached a rest stop. this photo was taken in 1994. you can see the river, the rail, and the highway...you can imagine (until i get the pictures posted) what the actual scene looked like. whoop whoop.
    5-22-00 (18:17)
  • so i have a massive paper due on wednesday i should probably start the groundwork today.
  • skipped my first class. i feel so guilty. i suck. i'm over it.
  • i went to the official california webpage and saw some cool stuff. the best thing i saw in my brief stay there was the small business financing plan they had setup. there are a lot of resources out there for people if they just know where to look. knowing where to look it the problem.
  • i put up a really nice little picture which has much significance in my hitchhiking trip...check that out. more to come.
  • there's this guy who i see fairly often at the library when i'm working there. we chit chat once in a while as i check out books to him. the other day i saw he made a skateboard out of two skis. pretty cool idea and very similiar to the idea vern, johnny, luke and i had when we made verns' old skis into a sled that fit four people. i thought that was pretty cool. then i read the paper today and see an article about a guy who stole my idea to live in a van while going to school. damn bastard! well it turns out that he's the same guy. next time i see him at work i'm going to talk with him about it. this guy is officially the coolest person in davis and really needs to be our friend.
  • i'm going to finally change the poll.
  • i like to have my room be a messy sometimes because when i'm bored or feeling like my life is out of order it gives me something good to do.
  • i'm going to go pretend to work now.
  • This is just north of Dunsmuir. Highway 5 runs right through this picture and you can kind of see the Sacramento River running alongside the train tracks, which as fate would have it, actually have a train on them. We (vern and i) were dropped off inside that box i've made. This is where the cop told us getting out of Dunsmuir via hitchhiking is very unlikely. As you can see the train tracks run right by where we were. We ran down that there hill and jumped into one of the stopped trains...the rest is history.
    5-22-00 (01:40)
  • marina's bbq was today and lasted a lot longer than i thought, but it was cool.
  • got to see the knicks beat the heat. if you would have asked me at the beginning of the series i would have said the heat would win in 7 games, i was wrong.
  • oh gas prices have gone down like i thought they would, but it took a little longer than i thought.
  • my dad's a crazy guy, i've realized this after thinking about all the crazy stuff that happened back in the day.
  • made another apple pie, this time it was for marina's bbq.
  • why when some girls tell stories about their friends do they refer to the female friends as 'girlfriend'...e.g., "my girlfriend and i once went to the superbowl..." if i tell a story about a male friend of mine and i going to the superbowl i wouldn't say "my boyfriend and i..." or "my guyfriend and i..." i've always wondered about that.
  • i'm going to be busy the next ten or so days. it should be funny to see me try and run around and finish all these papers and still live. ha ha i can laugh at my own misfortune. or my own poor planning. ha ha you are so funny stupid white man with no view of your future. ha ha me laugh at you stupid whiteness.
  • check the pic. more 2 cum.
  • duh.
  • Dodger Stadium, we would sit in the first tier by the left field pole.
    5-20-00 (23:15)
  • i'm going to watch a movie now because it's about that time.
  • i put in this massive map of west la...it brings back many memories. despite living 26 miles away from here i spent most of my time here.
  • more (quantity) and more (quality) pictures are to come...
  • 1. O.J.'s House
    2. My High School
    3. My Elementary School
    4. Dad's House
    5. Santa Monica Pier
    6. Pacific Palisade High School, our rival
    7. Westwood Village/UCLA
    8. Phil's House
    9. Mormon Church
    10. My Junior High
    11. Westwood Village
    12. 4th Street - ran here many times.
    saw sugar ray leonard and some baywatch chick here a few times too.
    13. This way to mom's house (about 20 more miles)

    5-20-00 (21:44)

  • Malcolm X called the 60s march on washington the 'farce on washington'...this is a surprising take on something that is usually seen as a major civil rights moment. he backs it up well though. what started out as a grassroots movement by poor blacks from the south turned out to be an event co-sponsored and co-organized by white people in government. as malcolm x put it the poor blacks were not seen amidst the now fully integrated crowd. they were told where to march, what to sing (only one song 'we shall overcome'), and even told not to make their own signs because signs would be provided for them. i'm not sure i'd call it the 'farce on washington', but it seems it did lose some of its luster once it lost the grassroots element to it it became less monumental.
  • malcolm x knows what's up, but...well he's a very interesting guy let's just say that.
  • mlk was shot while he was lobbying for a group of janitors...this was one example of his branching out to the economically disadvantaged, rather than just blacks. fast forward 32 years and tom morello of rage against the machine is in los angeles fighting for a janitor's union. fyi.
  • "blacks are too fucking broke to be republican" -ice cube.
  • i got a bunch of great pics from terraserver. well two are great and the rest are just kinda cool. forthcoming...

  • 5-20-00 (14:05)

  • i don't understand why people think it's so bad to wake up late. sleeping is one of the best things in our lives yet everyday we wake up artifically early, whether it be out of guilt, work load, people banging on the walls, etc. if you like sleeping so much why don't you do it more often?
  • i think that if i had a girlfriend i'd write on my webpage less often.
  • i saw the strangest bug in the reserves yesterday. it was very odd looking. maybe it's a northern california bug or something. you get to a certain age and you think that you've seen all the bugs california has to offer, then while shelving books you see something like this.
  • i have work at 3p today. at 3p tomorrow is marina's bbq, should be fun. tonight will be like last night. tomorrow morning i will be woken up by the phone ringing or by someone banging around in the kitchen. such is life.

  • 5-20-00 (01:31)

  • watched gladiator tonight. updated movies list.
  • show was cut 45 mins short, but was still good nonetheless.
  • slept today.
  • watched gladiator.
  • got some email.
  • i got another kdvs t-shirt the other day - it's blue. yay.
  • shit i have nothing to say.
  • the james brown track picked out on fatboy slim's collection is decent, but the best thing is that fbs used a bunch of public enemy samples when remixing it. well not a bunch, but enough for it to be noteworthy.
  • CLM remains constant.

  • 5-19-00 (00:27)

  • tonight was extremely boring.
  • i wrote seven letters - to the majority and minority leaders of both the HOR and Senate (4), one to the speaker of the house, one to governor davis, and one to president Clinton. it was going to be about the NPT Review Conference which is about nuclear proliferation, but i discovered that it ends tomorrow so it's a bit late for that. so, i made the letter about education, the environment, and nuclear proliferation in general.
  • i know how johnny feels about using energy - i feel bad when i drive the car or leave lights on because of what it does to the environment.
  • my tongue has a gluey taste.
  • i think we should have an annual turn off your television week.
  • they made some grooving music back in the day.
  • all the people at kdvs think vern and i are gay lovers or siamese twins. on the message board on the kdvs site two of the DJs who play b-ball were talking about the games we played. one went over each person playing and talked about their performance - he lumped us together as one entity. the other DJ was talking about the games in general and stopped to talk about noteworthy performances, when he mentioned me he referred to me as "Chris (of Chris and Vern repute)"...the other DJ said of us "Chris and Vern: And while I'm talking about frustrating, let's talk about the indie rock duo of Chris and Vern. I swear they're telepathically linked somehow, because each knows what the other's doing at all times. Somewhat counter-productive if they're on opposing teams, but when they're together, oh boy!"
  • basketball is the best thing i've got going this quarter.
  • so all the major shows for the season are over now i think. i watched the friends finale, but only to mock it. i think i laughed with it twice and at it many more times than that. what a retarded show. i didn't even dare watch nER. oh and then there was 90212 which was last night. i say 90212 because as you can see from one of the pics below my dad lives right across the street from b.h.h. and his zip is 90212 and i'm pretty sure the school has the same zip code. at any rate that finale marked the end of a generation. 10 years, damn. i'm not sure what they'll call the 90s generation 20 years from now, we'll see. probably something like the GAP generation...it fits in more ways than one...income gap, gap clothing, and i'm sure there could be others.
  • i wonder what congressmen would say about the growing gap between the rich and poor. i'll assume most of them know it exists and most of those would acknowledge it's not in the best interest of the country. yet nothing significant has really been done about it. principle versus policy.
  • memorial day is trashed because of paint training. gay.
  • the last two years right around memorial day i've gotten a reminder on why one should stay away from women. i wonder if this year will be year number three.
  • i saw this chick driving around today and she had a bunch of stickers on her rear windshield, some were of her favorite bands (most of which were pretty white) and some said things like "don't pretend you don't want me"...another said "it's not pretty being easy"...she was hot and i did want her, but i still wanted to run her off the road. good looking chicks can get away with so much. it really is sickening.

  • 5-18-00 (22:13)

  • so far this is one of the most boring thursdays of my life.
  • i called johnny, but the line was busy. i called stacy and she was watching TV. i talked to vern and then he started playing equally mind numbing video games.
  • so it's just me and my music.
  • La Casa De Flores - my house next year.
    Emerson Dorms - my home freshman year.
    A nice park for various activities, including frisbee golf.
    5-18-00 (18:56)
  • nothing exciting happened today. i went to work and then school, just like i'm supposed to. then i came home and took the car for a drive.
  • now i'm back and really hungry, but i don't know what i want to eat.

  • 5-18-00 (02:19)

  • work was five hours long today, but it went by fairly quickly. had more fun with the patrons. i showed them satellite pictures of my house, the library, O.J.'s house, Beverly Hills High, etc.
  • watched boogie nights. ate a lot of food when i planned on just going to sleep after work.
  • highlight of the day was my shirt...i wore my "Let the fucking begin." shirt and got many stares and compliments.
  • day was long now i should sleep...here are some pictures with little side notes. more to come.
  • when it comes to girls i definitely have problems.
  • Here's a picture of my dad's neighborhood, it's far more interesting than my mom's side of town:

    Here's a picture of SMC (Santa Monica Community College).
    This is the track where I broke 5 minutes in the mile.
    "X" is where I crossed the finish line...those were the days.

    This is my old High School, as opposed to my new one.
    There were real Indian burial grounds there.
    "X" in this case marks the spot where we would play basketball quite often.
    It also marks the spot where a guy pulled a gun and asked us (some guys
    and me on the track team) if we had any problems with his crew. We said no.
    5-17-00 (00:05)
  • played a few really good games of ball today. this was after i had my bike class. i wrapped my handlebars with new tape and touched up the brakes a bit today. next week is the last day and we'll be working on the shifters.
  • tuesdays are boss.
  • vern won't be at work tomorrow so the whole chemistry of the night shift will be different.
  • GWB's social security plan is much like anything republican - stupid and bad. that's right i'm a spigot, i mean bigot.
  • i've got shit due tomorrow, this is white.
  • basketball owned. it really was fun. under my strict supervision and daily beatings vern has become a competitive player. the best day in my life is when the pupil will beat the teacher.
  • this apple pie is more boss today than it was yesterday. it's also my dinner. making pie, without taking into account timeis cheaper than buying a pre-made one by less than 50 cents. i wonder if chicks will always knock on my door if i make an apple pie. if so i'll make these things more often.
  • i almost forgot to do it, but luckily i remembered sometime while i was eating my sandwich  - i signed the lease today so i'm officially living in la casa de flores next year. hopefully with vern.
  • i checked out two things from the reserves today. one is this keywords in culture and society; it's got some cool little definitions in there. the other was a video about toni morrison, but it turned out to be entirely about beloved. it was boss.
  • it's weird how magazines come out with their june issues in april sometimes, rarely does it come out in the last week of may. at least with the monthly magazines i've gotten this is how it has been. it would be a really bad idea to do this with sports magazines. although sports magazines usually aren't monthly. i digress.
  • "i mean have you even heard our stuff? it's that good! we're guaranteed a record contract..."
  • "i don't know this industry jargon mp, yp, but i do know that, granted - the tapes themselves are yours, but the magic on those tapes, that heart and soul, that's ours!"
  • man that scene was absolutely brilliant, it owned, it was boss, it was bomb ass, it rocked the house y'all.
  • i just found a 12 plus inches long hair on my keyboard which can mean only one thing.
  • invention i can't develop because of a lack of skills...a regular size and weight baseball that when hit opens up and flys significantly less because of the air resistance created by the now open "wings"...it'll make batting practice with two people a lot easier. i got this idea while watching two guys in the park trying to have a batting practice. once the ball lands you just click the wings back in place and it's ready to be thrown again. i think it would be cool, but there is probably an easier way. like making the ball softer or something. if you develop this idea i get 60% of the profits.
  • person a - "how do you spell profit?"
  • politician "P-R-O-P-H-E-T, ha ha. vote for me."
  • i think any major decisions made by a man should be made very soon after having emptied the chamber, done the deed, etc

  • 5-16-00 (01:11)

  • i said i should, so i did. i made an apple pie and it kicks ass. well it's not that great but it's decent enough to pass.
  • i've never been so wanted in my life. the davis census office keeps calling me and offering me different jobs.
  • so i'm standing around cutting up apples for my apple pie and i hear a knock at the door. i decide not to answer it because if it's anyone we know they'll just come right in. then i think that it might be a census person who has been rejected all day, so i go to answer the door and tell them we already mailed ours in. to my surprise it's some chick who says she has a survey she wants answered. i say come on in and then i go to the kitchen. i tell her to start asking away...she asks some questions and i go off on a tangent about society being in the shits, she laughs and agrees. this is around 8pm. it turns out she lives in avalon and is just filling out the survey for the management. so now she's helping me bake the apple pie and we're talking about this and that. 9:20 rolls around and i tell her that she should come back around 1030 and watch american graffiti with us and have some apple pie. she says she'll do that. instead she stays the whole time, until the pie is done baking. then we watch the movie and eat some pie. huh huh. she left around 12:45, but it just goes to show that little good ole southern hospitality goes a long way. oh we had sex too. that's twice tonight.
  • it looks like we're (vern and i) are going to have plenty of work to do for the summer. jon scored big last night so we'll have plenty of houses to paint. we're also probably going to be the only crew painting for him so the money should be big time.
  • i do more when i don't have time to do things. like the night before i have two papers do i'll usually clean the bathroom, clean up my room, balance my checkbook, write two papers, make a mix tape, and update my webpage a shitload.
  • i just discovered that there will not be a paper due in my sociology class, yea. there will be 25-37 pages of writing due within a day of each other though - May 31st and June 1st. i'll worry about that later. muhahaha.
  • i think it's really dumb to put The Who under "t" in an alphabetical listing. it seems no one would do this, but i found a major music site did just that. even did it with the beatles. white.
  • "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which one will go first ­ rock'n'roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me." -John Lennon
  • boss, owns, and white...all my new terms. today sucked = today was white. today was the best = today was boss. michael jordan dominates = jordan owns.
  • something about the truly great - when the truly great step onto the field, court, whatever - you know everything is going to be alright. when jordan was on the court and it was crunch time you knew everything was going to be okay. he's like the ultimate father figure. i remember feeling the same way when the A's had the Eck. the Eck would come in in the 8th or 9th and the game was over. put it in the books, he was that good. of course there was the one exception, but kirk gibson can suck me nuts. you get my point. i hope.

  • 5-15-00 (18:34)

  • perspective is one of the most important things to have in life. with age and time perspective comes. problem is people need perspective earlier. history is important.
  • tried to sign the lease today, but the office was closed and other problems. went in later and the guy was still around so i reserved a room. while i was there i saw marina's place. we had sex. it was nice, but i don't think we'll do it again. ha ha ha. ok.
  • the world is my expense, the cost of my desire.
  • i listened to music while i was in my boring classes today. it was a lot more worthwhile that way. you just run a earbud style headphone up the shirt and through the sleeve then you lean on your hand. no one is the wiser. you can do it in a small class and get away with it no problem.
  • had some guest speakers in class today from cps (child protection services) they were cool to hear from. they actually had faith in the system. it was a different angle than i got to see from working at the shelter. all the people at the shelter were ones the system had failed...
  • did i say that i ordered a water balloon launcher already? well i did and it should be coming soon enough. that'll be fun to fuck around with.
  • with all the apples i have i should make an apple pie. that would be good.

  • 5-15-00 (00:20)

  • if you spend enough time on the internet you can sound smart in most areas. this is one reason i should increase my internet time. i'm online a lot, but hardly ever on the internet. for being online so much one would think that i would spend more time on the internet learning new things and keeping up with the news. the truth is i haven't been to a news site while at home in months. in fact of the bookmarks folder i use most often there isn't a news site in sight. i guess it's really important to know what's happening out there. oh well. ho hum.
  • rain is stupid.
  • updated movie list.
  • our archived radio shows are officially online so you can check that out anytime at www.kdvs.org.
  • (also) a rage against the machine lyric: who controls the past now controls the future, who controls the present now controls the past, who controls the past now controls the future, who controls the present now?
  • i like being able to do things when i want to do them, without having to wait for a girl to finish up in the bathroom or whatever. i also like it when people suggest things with the intention of actually following through. i try to follow through with my suggestions as much as possible. not following through is like your dad saying we should buy you a drum set and then forgetting about it. it's white. it's like saying we should have equal rights and then not doing anything about it. it's like saying we should buy a video game and then doing it years later. i know lots of people with swell ideas that never become reality. it's like saying to your girlfriend after you break up with her 'we should stay friends...'
  • i think the only way true change happens is by focusing on the negative while being aware of the positive. so far in his autobiography malcolm x hasn't said anything to the effect of "i think it's great that black people aren't slaves anymore, at least we can thank allah for that!" rather he has focused on the negative. i don't think any less of him, but that's me. i think striving for perfection is good. saying good enough usually isn't.
  • i'm listening to the jazz portion of our show from last friday. i'd say it's pretty bomb ass. i should go in tomorrow and make a list of songs we played. i should.
  • books. monique once got on my case because i've been reading malcolm x' autobiography for the last 5 months. why does it take you so long to read it, she asked. i think a book of such import is to be read over a good period of time. it allows one to assimilate all the information. think about it for a while. a fiction book is, in my expert opinion, okay to read in a day. a non-fiction book which details the life of one of the top 10 greatest leaders of the last hundred years should be given more time. if i read it in a week i don't think i would be doing the book justice. i'm glad i've taken this long to read it. i carry it to school with me every day and read a few pages a week. i think of it often. if i were to read it in a shorter time i would not think of it as much. i would move onto another book and then think of that one.
  • updated cd list.
  • i wonder why i have no drive to do school work. ever. the only time i do is when i have to, the day before a paper is due or such.
  • we sign the lease and put up the deposit tomorrow...as long as the open spots haven't already been taken, that is.

  • 5-14-00 (00:35)

  • last night's excursions were fun. tonight we made mexican food and watched a cliche action movie.
  • monday we will hopefully sign the lease for la casa de flores.
  • i was in work today and i read part of a pretty interesting book 'how to want what you have'...it's ripe with all the normal psycho babble and self-improvement BS, but that doesn't mean it didn't make good points.
  • i think it's really bad to start thinking that you are better than other people. it leads only to temporary happiness. the most happy people i know don't ever have feelings of superiority. i know lots of couples that feel superior in their relationships. people are funny like that. it's easy to feel superior when there are people out there that just listen to whatever music is fed to them or accept anything they're told, but it's a mistake to do that. i do it too.
  • went to bored.com today and found a nice site that has satellite pictures of the world...below is my house in 1994, the pictures are the same, except i doctored the second one to make notes...
  • it's funny how irrational some aspects of our living are. if there were one emotion i could remove it would be that of annoyance. vern today said that he was annoyed when people asked where he purchased certain items. he said it was fine to ask someone about their sources of information, but not to ask where someone bought something. they both boil down to asking for information yet one annoys him and the other he is fine with, and actually practices himself. this is not rational, but i understand it. there are certain people or things that people do that just annoy the hell out of me, for whatever reason. it's usually not a rational thing, but it's there nonetheless. this is why i'd like to get rid of my being annoyed, i think i'd get along with people better if i was not so easily annoyed.
  • what is within a person's control and what is not? it's amazing to me how much of our lives are not within our control. i'm not talking about the decisions our representatives make for us regarding taxes and such, i'm talking about our history. all those who were abused as kids did not make that choice yet it will forever affect them. whether it means they seek out destructive relationships to simulate that past experience or whether they become disillusioned with the world and become social outcasts. the guy in your fifth grade class who was picked on constantly because of his weight did not choose to be fat. but now he has self-esteem issues which will carry over to his relationships with friends and, if he's lucky, girlfriends. it'll make all his future interactions different than if he were the cute guy that all the girls liked because they think he looks like a cute little teddy bear. did i choose not to have a dad for the most important years of my life? i'd say not.
  • what then is to be done about it? blacks in this country didn't choose to be born into slavery for hundreds of years and then still be discriminated against after emancipation. black didn't choose to be segregated until the 1954 Brown vs. Board ruling. that known, what is to be done. not everyone comes to the table with a clean slate. with african-americans i'd say it's easier to help them by using affirmative action and other programs/pieces of legislation to give them more of a chance to enter a more normal life. but for people with other types of history baggage what do we do? i don't know. be nice to everyone i guess. give everyone a second chance maybe? judge people on their heart not so much by their actions? ask yoda. anger leads to fear. fear leads to hate. hate leads to suffering.
  • This was taken in 1994, back when the neighbors still had an RV parked in the front...

    5-12-00 (23:41)

  • the last 2 mins of full metal jacket is probably the best last 2 mins in a movie. from the mickey mouse song and its meaning with the burning buildings in the background to paint it black by the stones...great.
  • updated movie list.
  • i'd be having more fun if i was drunk and having sex...so why don't i?
  • 03:52...went to a couple construction sites and looked around. that was fun.

  • 5-12-00 (19:26)

  • some days you are willing to play the game. then there are the other days.
  • i could watch a movie at chem 194 but that would be too much trouble and it would be lonely. watching movies in theaters by yourself is white.
  • saw scott's band play again. it was the same as the last two times only not as loud.
  • making fried rice today. i like uncle ben's more. i think i've already said that.
  • i don't like fridays. they used to be the best days of the week. track meet, friends, victory, fun, and then i would go out and watch a movie with my dad. now i do half a radio show, go home, decline peoples' offers to go to parties and write on my webpage.
  • i played basketball by myself today. surprising to see that there wasn't anybody there at all.
  • is anybody out there?
  • i guess i'll play some computer basketball now or something.

  • 5-12-00 (02:17)

  • played some more video games. wasted more time. it was so frustrating because we were playing this one level for so long and couldn't beat it if our lives depended on it. then we finally beat it. testosterone was certainly running high, with me at least. rage against the machine was playing in the background too.
  • temptation is an awesome song.
  • i think when people use the excuse 'i was raised that way' they're being slightly white. some people were raised to have their eyes open...great for them, but that's just dumb luck really. i think that regardless of how you were raised you should question certain things you do or do not do. it was tradition in my family to burn three books every saturday, but now i've begun to question that tradition...obviously this is an exaggerated example, but watch out because it could happen to you....
  • i have no idea how dating works. i have no idea what is wrong with all the women out there. i can see myself being single for the rest of my life more than i was able to see myself with any past relationships for the rest of our lives. rugged individualism. i want a van. after i graduate and get some money i'll take a nice bit of a trip around the country, in my van.
  • i remember when the internet wasn't shit.
  • i remember when nirvana was alive.
  • housing situation will be decided tomorrow (today)...we think.
  • they're trying to make nukes that don't require plutonium or uranium...'pure fusion nukes' is what they be called. just drop a few tons of anthrax in the atmosphere and get it over with.
  • how much can you know about yourself until you get into a fight?
  • when ignorance reigns life is lost.

  • 5-11-00 (23:22)

  • updated movie list.
  • black sabbath's first album is epic. most of the great bands i'm into have at least one song that is, in my terms, epic. led zeppelin has stairway and kashmir, but there are others that could also fit...black sabbath has warning...metallica has to live is to die and a few more...even guns and roses has november rain...rage against the machine doesn't really have one that sticks out in that way...beastie boys' car thief and maybe namaste could qualify...soundgarden has black hole sun, the day i tried to live and more....deep purple has the 20 minute space truckin'...creedence's heard it through the grapevine seems to do it in that same way, for me...just about every pink floyd song...the list goes on. my point would be - it's hard to be one-dimensional and still kick so much ass. even thrash metal acts like metallica need to show a softer side.
  • tomorrow will be long i think. first show in two weeks. yip yip.
  • i got paid on wednesday that was nice. i have a feeling i already mentioned that.
  • i really should take the car into the shop and get it checked out, while i have the money. ha ha ha.
  • i was going to play basketball today, but then i got tired so i slept instead.
  • this webpage is going through the motions lately. hmmm.
  • vern and i are going to apply for a job as core staff at kdvs, that would be time consuming, but rewarding. oh, i got more respect in the last game so vern and i are officially members of kdvs. of course we always were, but i personally never felt like i was a part of it until i started balling it up. kdvs is weird like that. i almost felt like the new guy for a whole year...b-ball has pushed me into the realm of an established member of kdvs.
  • i'm thinking of getting a column in the aggie, it probably won't happen, but i figure i could give it a whirl. not sure what i would write about, but it may get me some female action.
  • i had a dream that vern smoked and just passed it off as a way to stay warm. funny thing is that vern agreed that would be his excuse if he did take up smoking.
  • bored.
  • there are a lot of hot chicks in my sociology class. i think saying chick is the same as saying guy. some might take offense.

  • 5-11-00 (02:13)

  • squab teen cd is pretty bomb ass.
  • wasted hours tonight on the video game, i sucked.
  • day was filled with boring stupid class with the same stupid teacher. tomorrow won't suck.
  • friday will be packed. i have the show, scott's band to watch and a food fight to start.
  • nothing really exciting happened today. work was a bit boring without erin, but still wasn't as bad as a bad night at the shelter.
  • www.myfreecar.com - they pay to advertise on your car if you drive more than 29 miles per day...capitalism at its best.
  • CLM goes down $1/16th today.

  • 5-10-00 (01:57)

  • played mad b-ball today. it was dope. this time vern joined in. overall i played pretty well. i had some good crowd pleasing passes too.
  • work was good. i didn't go to class.
  • i did go to bike class though. that was cool because i learned how to true a wheel...make it not wobble. i did that for both my front and rear wheels. next week i learn brakes and shifting adjustments then i think i'll be done.
  • long day today, longer day tomorrow.
  • talked to jamie for the first time in a long while, that was good.
  • get paid tomorrow. one step closer to being complete.
  • got a free cd today. and it's a good one too. this girl at the station had 50 copies of a CD that we have at the station. apparently the record label wanted her to distribute them to people who like the music. i liked the cd when i heard it as a current so i jumped on that. i also got a compilation 12" (vinyl). updated the cdlist.
  • somehow some of the pit from a peach got into the smoothie tonight, that was white.
  • in regards to dirt accumulation, i maintain my mouse relatively well
  • my feet hurt, but my injuries are fine. CLM goes up $3/4 today.
  • i shall fall into slumber. kill whitey.

  • 5-8-00 (23:51)

  • played lots of video games today...jon bought a vigilante 8 for the N64 just a few days ago and since then we've been playing it. he's owned the thing for 3+ years and this is the first game he's owned.
  • purple by STP might very well be better than core, tough call either way.
  • i haven't had the counter on my webpage for like a week so that's a bit stupid of me.
  • the plan is to know where we are living by friday...it's crunch time.

  • 5-8-00 (17:17)

  • today sucked pretty bad. got to work late because of slippery road conditions. cut myself while reaching for a paper towel. oh and when i was coming into class i was finding a spot to sit looking around the classroom. i saw two so i walked down the aisle and as i was approaching one of them this girl took the one in front so i was going to take the one behind her and as i turned to sit another girl who was sitting next to the open seat put her folder down on the desk. i looked at her and said 'are you serious?' she said yes and that she was saving it for a friend. i then went into another aisle and found a different seat. more stuff like that made my day lovely.
  • because america's youth has been neglected i propose a stock program with kids. in essence children will be offered up as corporations which you can buy stock in. rather than dividends and profits in terms of money you will get peace of mind and thank you notes. my IPO will be 7/4/2000. initial bidding is probably going to start in the low teens because of recent injuries that might affect my future as an athletic star. however those might be counter-balanced by the renewed hope given by a new living situation.
  • i didn't win that writing competition, that's a surprise.
  • learned about the two stroke engine today while on the internet. that's more than i learned in class today. two stroke engines are less efficient and pollute more, but they're light and powerful. interesting stuff i must say. i wish i new more about cars and engines and all that stuff. i want to take an auto class before i die. i want to juggle before i die. i want to be able to jump a bike, even a bmx, before i die.
  • subbed for someone at work today that was decent, but may have been the cause for all my troubles...i'm not used to waking up at 9am.
  • it didn't rain today, but it was cloudy. white, but not albino.
  • i just had an extended conversation with one of the christians next door about prop 22...interesting to say the least. marriage is only between a man and a woman he said. once that was said i knew there was no convincing that could be done. i pulled out all the stops and he agreed on most points, but still went back to his main assumption. i said prop. 22 is yet another casualty of religion.
  • religion - the thing that controls the masses and has been a rallying point for those associated with the ritual waste of Sunday mornings, the assimilation of cultures, mass murders, and genocide.
  • watson, the other half of watson and crick, was on campus today. one girl said "i think he's the guy who invented the DNA structure"...uh that's god, not watson. watson only discovered the structure.

  • 5-7-00 (23:48)

  • updated movie list.
  • woke up late, did nothing. today was a real big waste. it rained some more which is extremely dumb.
  • i did get the remote control car out today. that's the first time it's seen action in a couple years. i'd say it's about 7 years old too. still works great. radio shack does some things pretty well. make remote control cars for the average joe is one of them.
  • had two sausages today.
  • i slept in my sleeping bag last night for no real reason. that was warm.
  • it's not supposed to rain tomorrow.
  • everything good is borrowed, everything great is stolen...something like that.
  • i really have nothing to write about. how boring.

  • 5-7-00 (01:23)

  • saw a movie today. that's a first for a long while. updated list. planned on watching gladiator today, but didn't.
  • napster is being white lately. quite white.
  • it rained today, that's white.
  • kosmic.org is gone now...they're on mp3.com to save money. this is also white.
  • woke up semi-early today and checked out a few places to possibly live...one right next to where i lived freshman year. so if we choose that spot then we could potentially get a meal plan and eat with freshmen again. that would be interesting. i called the library girl and asked to come over she said okay, but when we showed up there was a note on the door step saying that she had just left and to come on in and check it out - the door was unlocked. but her roommate answered the door and he let us in, i think he had just woken up. we kinda checked the place out, but not really because we felt like we were intruding. it was an interesting place. felt to me like we were underground, but it had wooden beams and such so it gave it a nicer feel. it's a three bedroom place so we'd need to get another roommate, that's a problem. then there is the place near tasia's (library girl) called greenbriar apartments. it's the ghetto of davis, litterally. run by the overweight white woman with crooked teeth a mexican husband and five kids...i'm not kidding i saw them all. it was an interesting sight, but a real one. other than those there are ones we looked at before...the indian run place closer to downtown and campus than tasia's place, but not as close to the freshman dorms place - which is also where marina lives. that place is a little dark, but i think lights will help a lot. it's spacious and rent is cheap. it's right next door to the landlords which is white, but our bedrooms are separated by the living room so i would be able to bump the system if i wanted to.
  • i've got a bunch of sausage i have to figure out how to cook nicely. i'm think sausage and pasta - maybe penne? then there's the hot dog type use...other than that i'm lacking great ideas.
  • how many more times...i'm hooked on that song.
  • gotta sleep.

  • 5-5-00 (22:56)

  • the kings got a thorough whipping. they didn't look like they felt they could win. just didn't have it at all. fuck the lakers.
  • up here it was funny how they covered it - the whole time the kings were getting their asses kicked they cut to laker fans on their cell phones. made LA look really bad. sacramento fans are much better than LA fans, this is a fact.
  • got my ass rocked in basketball today and kinda twinged my other ankle, it was really stupid. i'm going to play on tuesdays (KDVS) and that's it.
  • no show today - baseball again. that'll be the last day, i believe.
  • i've been listening to led zeppelin I a lot lately. paul's boutique is the best hip-hop album ever.
  • next week i should get two paychecks...i've been waiting to pick up the last one so i can get both in one fell swoop. should be nice.
  • got my sleeping bag today. it's a long one so i'll fit in it comfortably (vertically) and it's pretty compressible so i got it down to a pretty small size using my compression stuff sack. you care, again.
  • for someone who is such a musical retard i sure do love music a lot. lots of times i won't even notice certain elements of a song. i don't usually listen to my music very carefully. i sit back and let it do what it's going to do. after time i will notice more and more, but for the most part i won't listen to a new song and say "ooh i like that piano track in the background"...i also don't know anything about music theory. i also don't know very much about all the stupid sub genres of techno and such. i don't know very much about popular music either. when i go on the internet i don't look up recent info on such and such an artist. yet people still ask me about music, it's a bit funny like that. it's nice to have people think i know something, but it's also discouraging when i disappoint them; which i will do very often due to my lack of musical knowledge.
  • "Everyone has one special thing" ...that's what they say in boogie nights.
  • "cause you know why a you see H".... that's the end of one of adam yauch's rhymes. besides the great delivery there is the fact that the last part actually spells his last name - YAUCH...i just noticed that. i've had the CD for about 5 years and i just noticed that. that's how dense this album is.
  • i'm harder on myself than i am on my friends...that's bad considering how hard i am on my friends.
  • johnny stopped by on his way to somewhere i forgot where. speaking of forgot, he forgot his shorts.
  • i'll give whoever is willing to do it one dollar if they do a word count on all my archives...just the archives, not the editorials or anything else, just the archives. it should be interesting to see how much crap i've typed out...well most of it was typed out, some was cut and pasted from other places...like those retarded poll results from the history channel.
  • maybe i'll be a teacher. maybe i'll be a political writer. maybe i'll steal the lock boxes from construction sites. according to someone who knows they keep a good deal of expensive things in those boxes. maybe i'll become the punisher...a vigilante with my own comic book.
  • my rice cooker did a decent job today. i think uncle ben's rice is better than the expensive asian crap.
  • one man's ceiling is another man's floor...what goes around comes around...i think the beastie boys are prophets of the highest kind.
  • most of the greatest music in the world is or was influenced by black people. you better recognize. kill whitey.

  • 5-4-00 (23:48)

  • here are a few poll results from the history channel website...If you could reelect a past president in 2000, which of the following would you choose? Results:
  • Abraham Lincoln 27.0
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt 19.5
  • John F. Kennedy 19.1
  • Ronald Reagan 34.3
  • Which was the greatest amendment to the Constitution?
  • Results:
  • The Nineteenth (gave women the right to vote) 6.4
  • The Twenty-first (repealed the Eighteenth, which prohibited alcohol) 7.9
  • The Thirteenth (abolished slavery) 21.6
  • The First (gave the right to free speech) 64.1
  • Which African American do you most admire?
  • Results:
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. 40.8
  • Muhammad Ali 9.5
  • Oprah Winfrey 8.2
  • Colin Powell 41.4
  • 02:49...
  • that last one is pretty damn sad. so is the first one. the amendment one is sad because more people voted for the repeal of number 18 than did for giving women the right to vote.
  • might not have the show tomorrow, again because of baseball. we shall see.
  • went to a construction site tonight. man there was some good stuff. pick axe, nail gun, bolt cutters, rope, duct tape, ladders, etc.
  • i don't like my bellybutton.
  • i hope work is cool tomorrow.
  • more people read this shit than is good for me. i can't write a lot of stuff here because i might offend someone or it might elicit an email from a worried mother and the like. i've thought about writing stuff, but then not uploading it but i think i'd lose my motivation to keep writing. this way people will get on my case if i stop.
  • i once had a friend named justin, when we changed schools and started in a new school he told me we couldn't be best friends anymore, i was 7. i once had a friend named ryan, one day i came home to discover money, my hat, and some of my mom's things had been stolen, i was about 11. i once, only once, had a girlfriend. god told her i was a bad person, i was 18.
  • there is something very interesting about music. sometimes i'll be listening to a song and feeling a certain way and then robert plant will come on and say 'this is a song about hope...' then stairway to heaven will start. coincidence?

  • 5-4-00 (16:58)

  • to all my friends: there seems to be a problem i have or a problem that follows me regarding the ending of my relationships. if you choose to call off being my friend please don't do it because of religion or your girlfriend. thanks. -chris
  • movies versus books...i like movies more. they're easier to get through. they can tell as much, sometimes more than books. they can use sights and sounds. they leave less to the imagination - this can be both good and bad. in the time that it would take a slower reader to read war and peace i could have viewed dozens of movies and learned, felt, discovered, laughed more. movies offer more bang for your time. this does not make books obsolete. they are cheaper, better for reference, and nonfiction, but on the whole i'd like to state here that i enjoy movies more. don't take this as an attack on books, writers or book readers. i have many people close to me that love, write, read, and have sex with books on a regular basis. this was just on my mind.
  • great news! aol and coke are joining forces. oh joy.
  • i got three emails today - one about news, one junk email, the other from johnny. my quantity and quality of mail has decreased in recent times. that's white.
  • i just had my midterm and it went fairly well.
  • how the fuck do i have 33 votes on my poll all of a sudden. that's really strange. 2 people said they don't know who the fuck chris is. interesting.

  • 5-4-00 (00:07)

  • more fun at work today. i think the customers like working on the riddles while waiting for their books.
  • two months from now i'll be legally able to kill myself by drinking too much. i'll legally be able to look cool at parties.
  • i'm thinking about getting a tent now. it's the kind of thing you keep for most of your life. it's super useful at times. and for under 200 bucks i can get a really nice one that'll house two people and their gear. i guess i'll do that once i'm out of the red, but it's nice to think about how i'll be bettering myself later. ha.
  • i spent too much money on food last month. i went a little crazy, it won't happen again. sorry.
  • i've been listening to pink floyd and led zeppelin I and III a lot lately.
  • metallica makes good music, but i think it's white of them to go on napster and try to find everyone who is illegally distributing their music. don't they have anything better to do? i think cutting their hair was the worst thing they could have done. they definitely sold out - it's official.
  • if guns and roses had one more album they would be above metallica.
  • nirvana threatens black sabbath. i want another beastie boys album to come out.
  • www.mulletwear.com
  • there's a poll on the beastie boys site to the effect of "which band would you like to see tour with the beastie boys most?"...at first there were about 70 bands, now there are about 10. rage against the machine has an overwhelming part of the vote 22% compared to the next band with 12%. i hope this is a sign that the beastie boys will be touring soon.
  • there's nothing quite as great as walking the walk. rage against the machine and the beastie boys both do just that.
  • i find that i pretty much only wear rage against the machine shirts. i think it's because i do the light color load more often. this is because i don't have many socks and it's usually too hot to wear dark clothes. you care, trust me, you really really do.
  • "These guys are old school metal heads who used to stand for rebellion," says a Santa Cruz, Calif. fan, Darren Littlejohn, who branded the band "MegaMillionica." "Now they're so corporate I want to puke. Is Lars [Ulrich] not going to be able to eat this week if people share the music on the Internet? How can Metallica be so freaking conservative and yuppified now when they started out with Kill 'Em All? Listen to that album and consider this: Metallica has sold out, turned their backs on who they were, and their

  • original fans."
  • Some fans expressed their anger during the chat, and to that, Ulrich said, "For the doubters out there, Metallica will carry on for the next 20 years. Whether you're around for the ride or not, that's your problem, not ours."
  • marie's cds on ebay is over 10800 now. crazy.
  • The outspoken rapper says downloading music has caused a much-needed revolution in the music industry. He writes, "Companies like Napster are creating new fan interest in the acquisition of music, as well as establishing an infrastructure that previously was non-existent for unknown artists." He goes on to say, "This is a prime opportunity for artists to understand that they can operate beyond the naïve slave or limited employment positions of the old music business templates."
  • chuck d kicks your ass.
  • it's funny how just after i mentioned the metallica stuff i found it on the beastie boys newsgroup.
  • in the immortal words of sosa (from scarface) "just don't fuck me."

  • 5-2-00 (23:21)

  • do you know who rocks the house? Chris Webber rocks the house. that performance was big time. now the kings are 2-2 against the lakers. it all comes down the last game. man the kings fucking kick ass. i hate the lakers and kobe bryant more than ever now. biggest problem is that shaq won't be missing his shots when he comes home...it's gonna be close. very close.
  • i feel born again, not christian. now that i don't have a place to live for next year i'm forced to reinvent my life. i see good things on the horizon.
  • one of those good things is the homework that is due tomorrow. i should start it now.
  • how great is pink floyd?!
  • there's this really hot chick in my poli sci 112 class (that's the good one). well i sat next to her today and she said something to me. that was a highlight.
  • the other highlight was at work. first off i work with another hottie and we're cool. but the cool part was when i was checking out a book for this girl who i had talked with a few nights ago. vern and i actually were talking with her during work because it wasn't busy. she's also a hottie. at any rate she asked me how i was and i said pretty good except i have no idea where i'm living next year...she gave me the phone number for her landlord because she is going to be moving out next year and she lives in a three bedroom place. after giving me the phone number she told me where it was and then wrote down her address. after that she said that she may as well give me her phone number too. then she told me i should call her or something. who knows what she meant by this, but i was pretty taken aback. i saw her later, after my bike class, and we talked for about 10 mins about nothing in particular. i gotta start asking these people over.
  • it seems like i have very little time these days. tuesday i'm gone from 12-8p then i'll usually play some basketball with KDVS, not today of course because of the kings game. wednesday i'm gone from 12-11p because of class and work. thursday 12-4:30, friday 12-5p, monday 12-6...this is a lot less time than last quarter. i picked up 4 more units, 15 hours of class and the bike class.
  • i have a midterm thursday and homework due tomorrow. i still haven't started.
  • money, get away. get a good job with more pay and you're OK. money it's a gas. grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. new car, caviar, four star daydream, think i'll buy me a football team. money get back. i'm alright jack keep your hands off my stack. money it's a hit. don't give me that do goody good bullshit. i'm in the hi-fidelity first class travelling set. and i think i need a lear jet. money it's a crime. share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my pie. money so they say. is the root of all evil today. but if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're giving none away.
  • it's weird - i'll probably be living with vern next year a couple months ago i thought he was the last person i was going to live with because of the whole england thing...of course he could still go, in which case i'd have to find some really hot chick roommate. woe is me.
  • the new garbage album deserves its props.
  • anyone have a good mnemonic device for subjectively vs. objectively?
  • my hands are dirty ever tuesday and wednesday. yay.

  • 5-2-00 (02:13)

  • well happy hard shit on a stick. that just came into my head...sorry. any way there's no way in hell i'm living with jon and monique next year so i'm either bunking up with vern and someone else or finding a place on my own. this is a really good opportunity for me to get depressed. ain't going to happen.
  • i'm lucky to have a friend like phil. i friend who has never, nor ever will screw me over.
  • pink floyd is great.
  • remind me what a good relationship is again. friend or otherwise...
  • Marx knew what he was talking about.

  • 5-1-00 (23:26)

  • i went to the library and had my walkman on. while i was going through the sensors my headphones gave out a high pitched sound at a low volume. it was a little weird. "radio is silent yet it fills the air with noises."
  • i had something i wanted to say. dammit.
  • i have a new poll.
  • when i sellout, start working 9-5, get married, and have 2 kids i won't have any time for myself. that will suck. i'm glad i don't have a girlfriend who is around all the time, i'd regret it later.
  • there have been time when i've wanted guns and roses to be lower in my rankings, but the fact is that they kick ass.
  • oh, led zeppelin is above the beastie boys now. it was a long time coming, i just officially moved the cds the other day.
  • there's something about "no shelter" that really grooves. great song. view the world from american eyes. americanize.
  • have i ever said that music is the shit?
  • made more guacamole yesterday. yum. useless information.
  • i'm taking two classes on a pass/no pass basis. god i hate this teacher. i think i already talked about this today. she's from stanford. i now hate stanford.
  • i was just served the ultimatum - i am allowed to stay with jon and monique, but they will be inviting georgia (a girl for whom i have a previously stated dislike) or i can go out on my own and find a place. i won't dwell on how shitty the situation is.
  • i wish i had a van.

  • 5-1-00 (20:52)

  • well somehow my weekends are being taken up really quickly. pretty soon i won't have any weekends for myself.
  • i need to take the car in for a little check up. more of a preventative type thing. maybe that should happen when i have money. maybe debt doesn't matter.
  • didn't play basketball today, but i did return the white sleeping bag.
  • the day that i went to rei to buy the sleeping bag i saw a train passing by...that would be the same rail that we took out of davis...it was pretty cool because i remember looking out of the train and seeing rei and costco while we were on the train. even better than that, though, was that while i was looking at it i saw someone inside one of the box cars. it rocked. on the way home i saw two hitchhikers as well.
  • i had a midterm today.
  • i got my grandfather's book today. pretty crazy stuff.
  • i officially despise my pol sci 164 and 170 teacher...same person...same lectures...different classes...same annoying habits of staying off the topic. she's always talking about the paper. she's always talking about polling methods and statisical methods. is this poli sci or what?
  • april updates would be here.
  • i'm going to the library.

  • 4-30-00 (23:12)

  • KDVS is going to start archiving old shows. i think it'll be online in a couple weeks. it's going to be really really cool because then you can listen to any show at any time - all over the internet.
  • who am i living with next year? i have no idea. all of a sudden there is a big debate. there seems to be a need for a different situation. such a soap opera it's stupid.
  • everything in life is about finding and mastering the delicate balance. in basketball on defense you must defend the jumper and stay up on the man, but at the same time you have to defend against the drive, so you need to be back a little, but not too far back or they'll bust the jumper....in overhauling your headset (on a bike) you have to make it tight so that the wheel doesn't rock back and forth, but not too tight because otherwise the wheel will "index" too much. the same is true in life. one must sacrifice one's own wants, but only to a certain extent. we create political structures to insure that our interests will be looked after - we win some we lose some. so many choices, but it's impossible to have everyone win.
  • i struggled with myself on whether or not i should kill one of those huge bugs rumored to kill mosquitos. i've heard they do kill mosquitos, i've heard they don't. it was huge. was it really a nuisance? should i have let it live? does killing it make me any less of a person? will not killing it come back and haunt me later - for example, will i wake up one night choking on it's body? these are the kind of useless battles only retards and philosophical geniuses have. i'm somewhere in the middle i guess.
  • charles manson once wrote a song entitled "your home is where you're happy"...later the lemonheads covered the song...i'd say this is possibly applies to what we have here.
  • i forgot to eat dinner tonight.
  • i planned on doing four things tonight: watch a movie, eat dinner, do my homework, goto a construction site and check things out. i haven't done any of them.
  • i remember when i had two really really great friends and several other friends. sure all, except phil, were from the track team, but it rocked. now is a much different situation. it gets sad when you start thinking that your better days are behind you. ebb and flow, ebb and flow...

  • 4-30-00 (19:47)

  • luke never updates his webpage these days. johnny's gotten better.
  • played basketball today after watching a thrilling game between sacramento and the lakers. behind the phoenix suns, sacramento is my favorite team. they're so fun to watch. i hate the lakers again. in my high school years i had started not to hate them...that didn't last too long.
  • i have some school work to do. that's very white.
  • it's funny how just when you think your housing situation is secure things start to fall apart. at this rate, living with a random person isn't out of the question.
  • i don't get very many e-mails these days. i get even fewer phone calls.
  • i really should just do my work now and get it out of the way.
  • vern and i made smoothies again today. they were damn good. it could be the new thing for me. first is was tacos, then there was a brief stint with mushroom burgers, then there was tacos again, then it was breakfast burritos for a long time, then fried rice, now it could be smoothies. with fried rice and smoothies i get away from the cheese fat. with smoothies i get away from oil and fat altogether. i'm using the same blender that we had in our house for about 20 years. i swear it's older than i am, but it still works fine.

  • 4-30-00 (01:02)

  • updated movies list.
  • went to rei today to buy a lifer type of sleeping bag...one i can use anywhere for at least the next 10 years or so...found what appeared to be a nice durable, warm, mummy bag. got home and it rolled up to be about the size of my dick. in other words - waaaay too big to tote around while hiking and such. so i'll be returning it. the sleeping bag i have now is good (not a mummy) and works for most purposes like sleepovers, cold nights and such. but for the road i need a heavy duty synthetic fill one. one can spend upwards of 700 bucks on the really awesome ones.
  • also in terms of things i already have, but want to get the professional type - camera. i'm looking to get an oldie, but goodie, canon AE-1 or some such manual camera.
  • obviously the offroading trip has been cancelled. jon's rover quit today...good thing it happened in vacaville, not buttfuck CA.

  • 4-29-00 (01:55)

  • went to a party today. saw scott's band play.
  • people can agree on principle but not policy. since we're going to waste money no matter what, i think we should waste it on education rather than 1,000 dollar toilets for the army.
  • we're going on the off-roading trip tomorrow.
  • i got paid wednesday, but i didn't know that till now. i'll pick up that check on monday i guess. first paycheck in about 5 months.
  • went bowling today, that was fun. got a haircut.
  • updated cd list.

  • 4-28-00 (02:03)

  • april has come and almost gone seemingly fast, but not really. weird like that.
  • vern actually wrestled today. that's a first. go vern.
  • i got big time props today from someone at kdvs. he was telling me how some of my moves in basketball were really good, etc. it was cool. i finally have gotten respect up in that mug. it's about time. vern will be representing next week with me. we shall dominate, or something.
  • there is a plan in the brewing for a massive food fight. we'll see.

  • 4-27-00 (18:01)

  • the other day i was looking through some pictures from the hubble space telescope...i found some pictures of dying stars, nebulas, the like. the next day on the front page of the NY Times there was a picture of one of the very same nebulas i was looking at. there was a story on the hubble space telescope. it was uncanny because it was the first time i had looked at the ny times in a long time and it was the first time i had gone to nasa.gov in even longer.
  • ditz of the day was this girl in the library who was writing an email to her mom. she wrote: dear mommy, i am coming in a minute. then she spell checked it...she actually had misspelled something. to end her email she started to write love crystal. she made sure to have the love crystal part on the right hand side, then she added love always, crystal, then she deleted that and started it over again until she ended up with love always your daughter, crystal. she spent quite a bit of time on this email which, in sum, said "be right there." i don't know if it was extremely sad or extremely inspiring....
  • i was meeting with some mates from my poli sci class to do a group project. the fact that we have weekly group projects is a tad high schoolish if you ask me. i'm not liking this teacher...i digress. a man came up to our table and asked if we were registered voters. they all had blank faces, either not knowing why he was asking or dreading the next question...i finally answered "of course we are" then i asked what petition he wanted signed. he said that it was one to make educational bills pass easier. of course i knew what he was talking about and requested the paper to sign. after further clarifying with my less astute poli sci majors they ended up all signing it. after he left i said something about having to do our part. one girl said she felt like a hypocrite. i thought it was kind of a sad situation that they didn't know about it, considering it was on the last list of ballot measures. of course it was denied because most of CA doesn't care enough about education.
  • friends who only come over when they need to use your oven or borrow your baseball mitt aren't friends anymore, even if they claim to be.

  • 4-27-00 (01:48)

  • updated movies list.
  • i miss watching movies with my dad.
  • i was riding my bike on the wrong side of the road, as i always do, and some idiots in a car were driving toward me. i saw the driver cup his hand around his mouth about to say something and as i got closer i heard. 'ahhhicklyahhhhh' or something like that. all i could think about is how dumb he was. it's called the doppler effect bud - there's no way in hell i could understand anything he would have tried to say. physics is cool.
  • i was on campus for 11 hours. my poli sci classes taught by nina van dyke suck big nuts. so far i hate both classes she's teaching. that's the first time in college that i've really not liked the class...except maybe linguistics.
  • i replaced the bottom bracket on my bike today in under 30 mins by myself. that's hardcore. i've always liked doing things by myself...with my hands...ha ha ha.
  • i've been online for over 24 hours. guess what...no telemarketers have bugged me with in those 24 hours.
  • work rocked today. led zeppelin rocks more.
  • at work, i made patrons answer riddles in order to get their books. it added some spice to the normally boring transaction and it's a higher level of flirting. i think everyone is entitled one stroke (ha ha) of genius in their lifetime...that may have been mine.
  • fear is your only god. so so so true.

  • 4-26-00 (02:17)

  • busy days eat the updates.
  • had bike class today, overhauled the bottom bracket. fun stuff. tomorrow i'll make a cheap upgrade which usually would cost a small fortune after the labor.
  • played mad (this means lots or much...) basketball with the kdvs people. it was fun. i was one of the better ones there which isn't surprising considering the kdvs populous (largely social rejects who have put on extra weight while surfing eBay in the basement we call Freeborn Hall)...at any rate it was fun and the first game was really close. the last two gaymes were white. these two tall white fuckers came and dominated the game, they were on the same team which made it suck even more. the best part of the game was that now a few of the kdvs people know i'm not vern. foot held up pretty well. hampered some of my playing. tweaked it slightly once, no big deal.
  • updated movies list. find a link yourself.
  • work wasn't too bad. tomorrow will be better.
  • tomorrow will be very long.
  • equality and freedom conflict big time. interesting. tired.

  • 4-24-00 (23:58)

  • with the exception of karl marx all of my five homies died unnatural deaths. i hadn't really thought of that till now.
  • i might play more basketball, this time with the KDVS folk, tomorrow. i also have the bike class and 3 hours of work. yay, long day. wednesday is longer and less varied.
  • some think i should get drunk for my 21st birthday. i think i have less mind numbing plans. not having plans is less mind numbing. i don't think a stripper would be a good idea either. what kind of college man am i?
  • my movie goal is dying very quickly. woe is the movie goal.
  • i'm listening to "Russia's Most Beautiful Tunes" right now. it has a few tracks reminiscent of the tetris theme songs. i can't believe i spelled reminiscent right on the first try.
  • i'll be bowling on friday. i'll also be wearing my "let the fucking begin" t-shirt. it must be done.
  • beethoven is good. great. the best.
  • i'm not knowing what to write next. i wonder how many hours i've spent writing shit on this page. i wonder how many words i've typed on all the archives...damn lot. i looked at some of my oldest archives, have i always been such a dork? i need to get a life.

  • 4-23-00 (23:54)

  • there is something about sports that really kicks ass. raw competition is something i really miss. i think people who never played sports definitely are missing something. there is something to it, something almost spiritual. really great stuff.
  • it'll reach 80 again this week, yip yip.
  • luke hasn't updated his webpage in a while, that's white.
  • pbs had more quality programming today. i think i've found my hobby. i seriously haven't been watching tv enough. when i get bored i usually sit in my room and think with the music on. so when i'm not at school or work i'm sitting, thinking and listening to music...well almost. i should fill some of my time with pbs viewing. it's not a cop out because it's pbs. i have found the answer to life.
  • banned from the end of the world, a good song....i could go on but it could get wicked crazy, man.

  • 4-23-00 (18:00)

  • played some basketball today. i only tweaked the foot a bit on one play. it was only vern and i shooting around so it wasn't much.
  • woke up at almost 2pm today.
  • i don't ever want work to dominate my life.
  • more great pbs programming today. and the kings game, man they need a good coach really badly.
  • nothing really exceptional has happened today. i want to play some more basketball. listening to my new cds, they're mellow and round out the lower part of my collection nicely. hip-hop has been stagnant and so has jazz, i'll need to make some purchases in that direction fairly soon. i still have plenty of each genre to pick up.
  • i definitely don't miss the uncomfortable silences of relationships. ahhh, being single.
  • absence of proof isn't proof of absence.
  • i'm thinking of incorporating "white" into my vocab more often. for example:

  • person A: i just lost my job and my boyfriend dumped me.
    person B: kill whitey
    OR
    person A: i wonder why there are so many potholes on the streets...
    person B: damn white people
    OR
    person A: i'm thinking of living in the forest and choping down a bunch of trees, destroying the animals' homes, and buying a shotgun.
    person B: please don't be so white.
  • this is amidst my increasing awareness that white people have screwed this world up pretty bad.

  • 4-23-00 (04:00)

  • saw the greenhouse effect show again tonight. damn it rocks.
  • updated cdlist.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated mp3 list.
  • politics are so essential in this world. politics really interest me.
  • it's probably too late to say anything significant or significantly insignificant.

  • 4-22-00 (22:22)

  • had 6 hours of work today. that was decent. then i came home, watched pi and went to sleep for 5 hours. that was stupid, but made me busy rather than idle.
  • i don't think it's true that the quality is better than quantity when it comes to friends. i think, rather, that you need both. it can be argued that i have up to 3 good friends in davis with which to do things. but if they all either have girlfriends or other friends to hang out with then it pretty much leaves me shit out of luck. therefore, having a few close friends isn't enough.
  • the census bureau gave me another call today. offered me a full time position doing clerical work. fuck.
  • found some really cool stuff on the internet about nukes, including a website that supposedly has a list of all the US nuclear weapon stores. it was a smaller list than i expected. the largest bomb they listed was something like 15MT too, so i really doubt that it was a full list. it also had information on a few submarines with nuclear capabilities. that seems to be where much of the power is at. one submarine had a combination of warheads which added up to over 800MT worth of explosives. the bomb that was dropped on hiroshima was 15KT. 1/1000th of a 15MT bomb. that's pretty crazy. the nagasaki bomb was 21KT. they named them too. something like little brother and big daddy...something along those lines.
  • i might take my poli sci 170 class on a pass/no pass basis because it's so freaking annoying. this is the first teacher who i'd say hasn't interested me (intellectually). there are times when she interests me in other ways, but that's probably messed up.
  • i completely revamped the mp3 list (doc version). it doesn't matter, but it was something to do.
  • i had some really good tacos today. i chose not to go next door and partake in their easter celebration.
  • i'm not sure with what weapons world war III will be fought with, but world war IV will be fought with sticks and stones. (sic) -albert einstein.
  • thomas pynchon is the author. i checked him out, i saw a bit of a connection.
  • i got a book from the reserves today called 'blaming the victims' or something like that. it's by this guy something Ryan. the first pages were good so i checked it out. because i work at the reserves i have graduate student privileges and i can check out books to myself. dope. at any rate it's a pretty cool book.
  • it's funny how some people will wonder how an electric bill can be so high - because you leave the lights on all the time. the same symptom applies to 'oh my god why are children killing themselves in schools?' maybe because their parents suck, there's no structure, no sense of community, etc.
  • when people see kids strolling along the sidewalk during school hours smoking crack or whatever, nine times out of ten people will just walk by or drive by and not say anything. in the good ole days people would crack the whip, whether those kids were theirs or not. when i see kids out during school and i'm biking along i usually ask why they're not in school. i remember one time when i was a young bastard, it was after school and we were walking along, one of us was smoking, all of us were looking quite cool (sarcasm). someone pulled along side us and asked if that was a cigarette. we said no, it was the fake kind. he reprimanded us and drove on. had 20 people done that i think it would have been better than if no one had done it. i honestly don't think we would have thought of ourselves as any cooler because people were stopping.
  • i'm not sure how valid an argument it is to say that by keeping weed illegal we increase use because people will do it just "to rebel." the thinking behind this argument is that by making it legal some people won't start it because it's not legal. 1) if that were true, then they'd probably start something else that was still illegal...something probably worse 2) i think more people would start because it is legal. by making something legal you alter the norms and people on the fence would probably give it a try. that's my take.
  • it's funny how people who have no clue what they're talking about when it comes to pot will say it's pretty much harmless, and can even help people. those people obviously never had a friend whose life was screwed because of that shit. or had a family which was destroyed by it.
  • i remember there was actually a bubble gum in the shape of a cigarette. it even had powdered sugar that would look like smoke when you blew on it. crazy stuff. i think they still have the gum that is shredded and in a pouch, just like chewing tobacco. odd.
  • should the majority rule all the time? i think any realistic and thinking person would say no to this. but we actually had someone trying to argue this in class the other day. if the majority always ruled then we'd still have slavery. well then you could rephrase the question - should the majority always rule, except when it infringes upon another's rights? still the answer is no.
  • two examples which explain much about group politics, that i always use are: dairy and tobacco. the dairy example is this - not too long ago dairy farmers weren't doing so great. so they went to the government and asked for more subsidies. the government raised some kind of tax specifically for milk. it translated into a few cents per a gallon. a huge difference for the farmers. a slight raise for millions of consumers. if there was a vote on this issue it probably would not have have passed. i think you can see how this is applicable. in the long term, though, it is to the advantage of society. if milk farmers go out of business there is a decrease in supply, an increase in price (more than the tax), and people are out of jobs. this brings up the problem of measuring intensity in any democracy. one person one vote isn't ideal, this case is evidence of that. i think most will agree that if 51% of the people think prop. 9999 should be passed, but their convictions are very weak on the subject and 49% of the people think prop. 9999 should not pass, and they feel extremely strongly on this, then 9999 should not pass. that is a different issue, though.
  • the second poli sci example that kicks ass is the tobacco one - it shows how with knowledge (scientific proof) an issue can be passed despite massive opposition. the tobacco industry had a strong hold on the political system for a long time. but as more and more knowledge was introduced and small groups and entrepreneurs fought the hold began to slip. eventually it has come to the point where we can now run commercial which state that the tobacco industry are murderers. cigarettes kill 1 in 3 people, etc. this might not seem significant unless you understand how powerful some groups can become in washington. this example has always inspired me because it shows that in politics one can change the set of norms. one can alter the balance of power. i wrote 12 or so pages on this in an essay a while back. it's really interesting stuff.
  • this has become a "why-chris-is-a-poli-sci-major update"
  • i was watching this enthralling (ha ha) show on pbs the other night on greenforest gases. it was great. pbs has some really excellent programming. i'm definitely pledging the next time i see them asking for money. at any rate, it was interesting to see some of the coal and oil industry leaders trying to deny that greenhouse gases emitted by their companies have had an adverse affect on the environment or have added to the 'greenhouse effect.' it reminded me of the tobacco industry...'i believe cigarettes are not addictive...i believe cigarettes are not harmful,' etc. this program will be played back 100 years from now and kids will just be amazed that these industries can actually say the environment will be better off with 3 times the CO2 we have now. there is actually a project that is testing this. they have a forest and they pump 3 times the CO2 there is in the air now, into the forest - to simulate conditions 100 years in the future. it's pretty cool stuff. the forests are growing 25% faster with the extra CO2 and the the coal industries are pointing to this as great news. but there is more info on absorption limits of CO2...it takes up to 100 years for the ocean to absorb the stuff....much much longer than most pollutants. so they think there are definite limits in regards to how much CO2 the world can absorb safely. of course there is the problem of us cutting down all the fucking trees which doesn't help absorb the increasing amounts of CO2.
  • the really neat stuff was when they debated about whether the climate is really changing or not. because our climate records only go back about 100 years it's harder to make a valid case. 100 years ain't shit on the world's clock. so how do they find out if the temperature is really rising? monks up to 500 years ago kept a detailed account of the weather...based on when the lakes froze over and when they thawed out, when the cherry blossoms bloomed and how much...all these things put together from all over the world got an accurate record of climate up to 500 years back...amazing, but not enough. so then they went to the arctic and looked at a cross section of ice from canada and all over the place. the cross section showed how much the ice melted in the spring, etc. so they looked at those layers, that was really neat. then since they need to check all over the world they got cross sections of trees. the layers are different thickness' depending on precipitation, weather, and climate. then they did the same on coral reefs in the ocean. based on the thickness of each layer they could tell what the climate had been up to 1000+ years ago. it was amazing how much detective work they did. they graphed the data and noticed that ever since the industrial revolution (remember my denouncing it so many times?!)...the climate has been getting steadily warmer, esp. in the 1990s there has been a big peak in temperature.
  • so does this have anything to do with the levels of CO2? they check the same cross sections and did analysis on the CO2 levels and showed that the levels of CO2 have also been increasing since the IR. there was a guy who did a study in hawaii that showed that CO2 travels all over the world, rather than staying in one place. so if you drive your car today, they said, the exhaust will end up in Antarctica within a year. crazy crazy stuff. it was a great great show.
  • that's all.

  • 4-21-00 (21:21)

  • my dad says i write a lot like a certain author, thomas something.
  • i got some good veggies today. made some guacamole. yum. accented the tacos quite nicely.
  • "One of the greatest casualties of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society ... shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • weird how this poll has already gotten 7 votes (one being mine). 5 out of 7 like FDR the most. i'm sure one of those is from my super smart grandmother.
  • i was watching 'who wants to be dirty rotten stinking filthy rich' the other night. i mean 'who wants to be a millionaire'...and i thought who i would call up if i needed a question answered (in case you don't know about the show - if you are stumped by one of the questions you can place a call to one of your friends or family and ask them if they know the answer - it's called a 'lifeline') at any rate, i would probably only need two people to choose from in order to cover just about any general knowledge question they could ask - my grandmother and my dad.
  • it was actually pretty cool because one time there was a kindly fellow who was at the last question (1 million bucks) and had his one lifeline remaining (to call a friend or family member) after the question was asked he decided to use his lifeline because he, to our knowledge, did not know the answer to the question. he decided to call his dad hoping he might know it. when he was connected he said "dad i actually don't need your help, i just wanted to let you know that i'm going to win a million dollars" then he turns to regis' bleached teeth and says - "the answer is B, that's my final answer"...he won.
  • i burped and it tasted like guacamole, yum.
  • i wonder about myself.
  • i have work tomorrow

  • 4-20-00 (22:50)

  • i want to write a lot here, but i can't because i'll scare off my audience.
  • at 19:05:40 the weather was perfect, in every sense of the word.
  • i'm definitely not suited for any type of deep relationship with a normal person. it's just a fact.
  • johnny explained to me why atomic bombs which explode in the air do more damage. interesting. humans are dumb. white people are the worst. i like monkeys more. i once asked a friend what the best thing in the world was. he said people, i said music. he was wrong. without people there wouldn't be music, right? what's the worst thing in the world then? people.
  • i went to safeway today to buy things i didn't need. before i got in a guy asked me to sign a petition. we talked for a brief moment about what the petition was for. i read it over then signed it. as i was signing it he asked another guy if he was registered, the guy said yes, then the petition guy said would you like to sign this piece of shit? the guy just kept on walking. i finished signing the shit and gave it back to the guy while saying that's the problem these days, people don't care. he chuckled and i walked on. 10 minutes later i come out of safeway and he comes up to me and asks would you like to sign this petition. i said you got me already. he said oh. fuck this world.
  • the thing with me is that something like that actually affects me. it's really strange. sometimes i'm quite callous. but most of the time i'm overly sensitive.
  • i guess i'm watching pi today. i saw it about 3 times over the winter break, i'd kinda like to see something new. but my girlfriend will give me a hard time if i back out of it. oops, i mean roommate.
  • i want a lobotomy. life is a lot easier and more fun when you're not thinking. fact.

  • 4-20-00 (17:38)

  • my life would really suck if i didn't have any music. "in utero" is the second best nirvana album.
  • got my tax return. uhm that helps just a bit. i spent it all in one day on debts. yay.
  • the relationship game is utterly retarded. as a species which is supposed to have been around millions of years we sure haven't come very far. we are still very illogical. we still kill other people. and we still play games and call it courting. retarded. i prefer being knocked over the head and dragged to some chick's cave. what an absolutely dumb world. dumb in so many ways.
  • i think i believe in fate, to a certain degree.
  • the census bureau has offered me the job. they called about 10 times in the last few days. too bad i already have a job. if i didn't i could start making like 11+ bucks an hour. oh well.
  • i have a new poll.

  • 4-19-00 (23:46)

  • on campus from 12-11pm...work went quickly. hot chicks asking for books helps.
  • ELO is big time.
  • i should go to sleep because it's been a long day.
  • i read a couple pages out of a textbook today. leaps and bounds.
  • it's so tempting to buy a bunch of music online and not worry about it. damn that would be cool.
  • is man a social animal? that's what aristotle said. i don't know if i buy it. at least in my case. i wasn't ever really a social person. i may have moments, but my one-on-one skills are lacking. hi. what's your major. what year are you. oh, cool. uhhhhhh....
  • we need to stop spoiling babies...you need to walk by the time your one week old...i hereby declare.
  • i wouldn't know how to go about getting a girlfriend.
  • i want more music books. it's easier to jump into a music book than a poli sci book. history books usually aren't user friendly. and that about sums up my big interests. i guess a movie book would be cool, but it seems those would be harder to write and put together well. i could be talking out of my ass.
  • i heard some "hip-hop" station while i was on campus today. it was the worst attempt at artistry i've ever experienced.
  • i picked up a book while working today...that's one really cool thing about working at the library...books are all around, many of them suck, but there are plenty of great ones. this one was about nuclear war. shit man, it's a really good thing we didn't get bombed. a 5psi load (which isn't very much) does a shitload of damage to an average home or apartment building...a 1MT bomb, dropped 15-20 miles from your house would yield a 5psi load. that's only a 1MT bomb... and this assumes it's dropped on the ground rather than exploding in the air. not sure why they would do that...i didn't get that far. this doesn't even go into the radiation...jeez. a 100MT (megaton) bomb...oh and they have bigger ones i'll assure you...will creat a crater that is 2.1km wide. holy shit. the fireball, just the fireball will be 5.2km wide. 5km is 3.12 miles. shit shit shit. there will be heavy damage within 23km...that's a lot friends. then there's the moderate and light damage. oh and the wind which is traveling over 2000mph will do quite well to carry the radiation even further. the following is for a 20MT bomb...far less than the explosion info from above...a 20 MT bomb goes off up to 120km from where you live then you have about 2 hours before nuclear fallout hits yo ass. when it does you're blood cells are going to start dying. you have a good chance of dying. you'll definitely be puking for a while. if you're really lucky then you'll lose your hair, get skin spots, and be out of commission for 40 days. lucky guy. if you're any closer you'll probably die within 30 hours...a slow, painful, shitty death.
  • so that's what i learned today. tomorrow maybe i'll choose something less grim.
  • i didn't get shit for email today.

  • 4-19-00 (02:55)

  • there's a book in the library called "who is hiring who"...obviously no one is hiring english majors. to my knowledge it should be 'who is hiring whom'
  • watched two movies today.
  • i'm tired and have to wake up at 11am tomorrow. updated my schedule to reflect work...not sure if i already said that.
  • my bike class today pretty much kicked ass. i disassembled the headset assembly, degreased it, regreased it, and reassembled it. dope.
  • moby is pretty cool for chill music.
  • i should go to sleep.
  • check this out.
  • updated movies list.

  • 4-17-00 (22:25)

  • i wish i was like you - easily amused.
  • everything good is borrowed, everything great is stolen.
  • i revised the fallen homies list...you'll notice Che isn't on the list anymore, but Kurt Cobain is.

  • Malcolm X     Feb 21, 1965
    Karl Marx      Mar 14, 1883
    MLK              April 4, 1968
    Kurt Cobain   April 5, 1994
    Tupac             Sept 13, 1996
  • i wish that i could fit in like everyone else. i really wish i could just sellout and become a social being. i have moments where i'm able to do this, but for the most part i'm different from other people in ways that prevent me from really being a part of whatever it is people are a part of.
  • i also wish that i didn't know about how fucked up this world is. things would be a lot easier that way. or maybe if i didn't care it would be easier too. i think prozac would help me not think about that stuff, but i'm not sure. i know a 'relaxing' beer when i got home would do it for me. this is too depressing to talk about here.
  • it's funny because one doesn't usually get depressed when one is busy. so when one is depressed and inactive people usually say something like 'get out there and do something'...run, workout, watch a movie, etc. hmmm, great advice on the surface. but it's interesting because in essence one would be running away from the truth by 'going out and doing something.' i think being popular hurts your chances of thinking about things that matter. there are also two levels of thinking about such things. there is the surface level where one looks at his environment and sees that shit is falling apart. people all over are dying, starving, killing each other, etc. the surface thinker sees this. the deeper thinker sees this, knows this, and feels this. i'd say that spending time alone, just thinking about this, makes one more apt to be the latter. this is not to say that either the surface or the deep thinker must be popular or alone, but one's environment surely plays a part. of course there is the problem of using the word 'popular'...in this case i would extend it to mean, simply, busy. busy to the extent that it prevents one from thinking long and hard on such subjects.
  • long and hard.
  • there is a big difference between knowing something and feeling it. just like in 'white men can't jump'..."you can listen to jimi, but you can't HEAR jimi..." there is a difference.
  • i've never liked noise. when i close the door you will find that i rarely slam it closed. the same applies to cupboard doors. when throwing away glass bottles into the recycle bin i cringe as the glass bottles crash together. most people don't give a shit and just slam the bottles onto each other. what a freak.
  • girlfriends are like drugs in so many ways, but i guess they're better.

  • 4-17-00 (19:00)

  • today sucked. rain is super gay.
  • someone called me the other day and asked me a bunch of poll questions. it was interesting because we're learning about different polling techniques, etc. in poli sci. the questions mostly revolved around local politics. i didn't tell her to fuck off like i might normally do to a telemarketer type.
  • i think my check book may be really really wrong. very very odd.
  • people are stupid. people are strange. i don't like people in general. i have very little faith in people.
  • i'm a man divided.

  • 4-17-00 (00:30)

  • kdvs fundraiser is over. i was there to see it end. we ended up reaching our goal. we made $35,643.12...that's pretty crazy.
  • sundays are extremely gay.
  • car had some trouble today, don't bother asking.
  • updated movies list.
  • i'm over 400 cds now. whoop whoop.
  • today was so damn boring.
  • i exaggerate everything that happens. i don't vocalize my exaggeration, but i pump things up in my head a lot. that's bad.
  • i was typing out the word "good" earlier today and instead i typed "doog"....is that bad?

  • 4-15-00 (22:03)

  • today was picnic day. luke and his girlfriend came up so that was cool, they're gone now.
  • it was kinda gloomy outside which sucks. i picked up my music from kdvs from the pledges i made so i'm listening to that now. i picked stuff i'd never heard of so it's a gamble.
  • other than that nothing really exciting happened today.
  • the new winamp is out, yay.
  • phil won't be able to scan the pictures so getting them online is going to take a while longer. hitchhiking pictures i mean.
  • i'm fairly bored right now. kinda tired too. i'll check the mail.

  • 4-15-00 (01:34)

  • updated movies list.
  • kdvs rocks big time. it's nice being part of something that isn't easy, spoon fed crap. jeff wigand probably felt the same way and i think the movie did a great job of showing that. i watched insider again.
  • yes today was weird. arla, friendly safeway cashier, is very cool. too bad she's 30 something and married or else i might....
  • i bought some deodorant today and some food. i got the old skool brut brand stuff. reminds me of the old days. that's that.
  • i'm thirsty.

  • 4-14-00 (5:58)

  • i wonder how many people read the updates starting with the most recent, rather than going to the last update they read and then scrolling up in chronological order....one can only wonder
  • beatles are close to led zeppelin, i guess that poll sucks it though.
  • today started out really shitily. guess that's not a word, don't care. i had some really intricate, detailed, and long dreams which made the night go slowly, that was nice. the dreams were kinda sucky. they all had something to do with my dad.
  • then i take my bike to work. i got busted for riding on the wrong side of the road. extremely gay. i was made a public spectacle. it was fun. so that's two tickets in about a month. fuck the law.
  • work wasn't bad. my fantasy basketball is moving along, i'm finally in second place. you care.
  • then came the kdvs fundraiser. everyone who was up here and cared called in. including a couple girls i solicited (for sex) earlier in the week. that was nice. Doc even pledged. i would have been surprised to make 400 in the two hours...for the following reasons...i don't think we have a massive following. we follow a spanish rock program. we have two genres of music and give each one hour each...they're jazz and independent rock so they're pretty different. but we came through in a big way. we made 580 bucks without pledging any money on our own show like some djs do. i was kidding about the soliciting for sex part, i usually don't do that.
  • so the beginining of the day sucked big time and it got better from there. i was really surprised that we got so many people pledging.
  • our jazz set rocked the house in everyway possible. as soon as i played gil scott-heron the phones all rang, that was pretty nice. then the indie rock followed through with more energy and some epic tracks. i got most of it on tape so that's nice as well.
  • i was planning on watching magnolia with marina, but she was going to see it with another friend of her's so i decided not to. then, of course, i got an e-mail saying her friend ditched her and i should meet her there. such is life. the movie just started.
  • early metallica tracks were composed really well. that's all on that.
  • i'm hungry.
  • i haven't used my checking account in almost two weeks. i wish the debt records were erased...watch fight club.
  • i guess the nfl draft is coming soon. those were the days. i'd wake up and the draft would be on tv, my dad would be watching it and

  • 4-14-00 (01:43)

  • highlight of the day was my dad calling. that was quite the surprise. he thought the hitchhiking trip kicked ass, i'd have to agree. i talk to my parents less than anyone else i know.
  • spending money and buying things is the easiest way to feel like you are bettering yourself. once you have everything you wanted, though, you realize that buying stuff isn't really long term happiness. f.r.c.
  • i lost my notebook a couple days ago and realized it today...shows you how much i study...when i returned to the classroom it was still there, two days later. that's pretty cool.
  • it looks as though i might be changing my homepage address again because xoom sucks so much.
  • my 300 movie goal is sucking. no one else rents movies and it's not like i want to watch the same 20 or so movies that i own.
  • i think i'm a good voter.
  • stacy broke up with her boyfriend (Otter Quaking Aspen is his name) from boston...saw that one coming for the last 6 months.
  • here is some really screwed up shit...listen and learn what true love is.
  • i've woken up at 11am everyday this week. that's the most consistent schedule i've had in years, literally.
  • when i sellout, which i will, it'll be pretty shitty having to wake up everyday at 8am. oh well, such is life. i can't wait to grow up.
  • foot is to the point where i can jog, but i can't really cut very well. lateral movement is limited. swelling is still there.
  • savoy brown is good.
  • life is pretty dumb, but it's worth doing it for 60 years or so. kill me when i can't walk anymore.
  • i once had a computer that crashed. then i threw it outside and beat the shit out of it.
  • i'd like to rule the world...give me one term of 50 years...i'll straighten things out. yea right.
  • the regular price for cds sucks. since i made my gas price prediction the price for gas at the closest gas station went down 9cents...not 11 like i thought. and it's really only at a couple stations that it's fallen so much. weird. i've gotten like 30 bucks worth of gas in the last week...jon's party in new york was one reason. did i say new york? well it wasn't quite that far away.
  • i wonder if someone else started writing these updates for me if anyone notice a difference...that is to question whether i have a distinctive enough 'style.'
  • my room is messy and i don't care too much. my car is messy too. maybe i'll change the oil sometime next week. i guess that doesn't have anything to do with the interior. are you actually reading this crap? why?
  • i carry on lots of conversations in my head. it's a good way of thinking i have friends or something. it also makes me question whether i actually had the conversation or not.
  • reality is really dumb.
  • i can't wait till they have drugs and shock treatment (not literally shock treatment, more just some kind of electrical treatment) which will change the way everyone thinks. after all it's all just chemicals and electrical impulses that determine what we think or do...weird to think that tiny bits of electricity are making my brain operate my fingers and such...i think it's cool that my car blows up in a metal case called an engine which rotates the rocker arms...wheels spin...car moves.
  • of the last three times i've been to work, i've gotten ink on my clothes twice. today was the worst. i picked up a book and brought it near my stomach to open it up and stamp it. after doing so i looked down and saw my shirt had a long blue pen mark on it...reaching down to my shorts even. it happens that the book had a pen in it as a bookmark...the pen was open and poking out, towards me.
  • i can't remember ever buying a pen. i know i bought a pencil once.
  • rational people don't vote. rational people probably don't try to fall in love either. i thought man was supposed to be some really logical being.
  • i remember now what one of the cool things that happened today was...i was sitting at a table outside the MU cafeteria type place. i was with 3 other losers who were supposed to be collaborating with me on something related to school. some chick came outside and started cleaning up the tables she had a pretty bad job ahead because all the table were trashed like never before. bottles, trays, and such all over the place. while cleaning the crap up a friend of hers came up and they began to talk. she started going off about how "people are pigs...people are such animals...we're so dirty..." etc. it was great. my loser classmates laughed at her. at any rate she's going off about how people are such losers and her friend is just listening and then a cell phone rings. he looks at her and then answers the phone. their conversation ends and he goes on to get brain cancer. poetic justice.
  • the best part about run lola run was when she would pass someone on the street or such and then it would focus in on the person she passed and the text 'and then...' would pop up...from there it would do a montage of pictures which document the rest of that person's life. ranging from winning the lottery or dying a violent death. i want to do something like that.
  • so two people are talking and one interrupts the socially aware conversation to answer his fucking cell phone. (in german) "und then...." a picture of him talking with another girl, she's beautiful, but angry, she's wearing her favorite gap khaki shorts and a calvin klein tank top. her jaws are clenched and he is emotionless. new picture, he's getting it on with another chick. his head is tilted up, eyes half open, mouth gaping, wow he's cool. next picture, he's rolling key low G style, one arm on the wheel of his explorer, the other holding a cell phone to his ear, his oakley sunglasses complete his ensemble, he's smiling. playboy bunny ears hang from his rear view mirror. next picture, he kisses his bride, he's wearing a smashing tux and her veil is pulled over her head. next picture, five o'clock shadow reigns prominently over his face, he sits in his favorite chair, beer in hand, looking at his 51" panasonic flat TV. kids at his feet, one looking longingly at him, the other transfixed by the television. colored building blocks litter the floor. in the background is the wife, adorned by her other wedding gown - the apron. next picture, she's crouched in the corner by the door, he hovers over her, shirtless. the plaque above the door reads 'home sweet home.' next picture, his head through the explorer's windshield, a cell phone covered in brains lies on the dash. under his car, lies his daughter's bike. next picture, a block away from the accident, his wife pregnant wife is playing peek-a-boo with little davie.
  • someone died today. someone was born today. which is worse?
  • when i was young i remember i had head spasms more often than i would have liked. wonder if it did any long term damage.

  • 4-14-00 (00:09)

  • this week has been up and down. the kdvs fundraiser is moving along. tomorrow is our show so that's gonna possibly suck.
  • my first day at work was decent. yay.
  • i think some cool stuff happened today but i forget what it was.
  • the xoom server has sucked my fucking dick. fuck fuck fuck. forget this shit.

  • 4-12-00 (21:27)

  • work today was gay. that's that.
  • i updated my schedule because i finally got my work hours.
  • i'm really busy right now so i don't have anything to write about. this is your run of the mill bs update.
  • one cool thing that happened today was in my last class. there are two chalkboards...the side one is rarely used. on it there are announcements and such from frats, clubs, etc. today it read "the student's eyes don't perceive the lies"...of course only about 1 in fifty people would recognize it and even fewer would be able to cite it's exact origin...i'm one of those. it's from the rage against the machine song "take the power back"...it was pretty nifty to see someone write it on the board. i wouldn't have chosen that particular quote had i written one up, but i'm down. next week i might write a better one up and see if anyone says anything about it. i'm thinking "for all the diamonds they'll use a pair of clubs to beat the spades"...we'll see.
  • that's all

  • 4-11-00 (19:05)

  • work didn't suck today. i actually have started to get a hang of this minimum wage job.
  • i have to work at kdvs from 12-3am tonight and the next night, that should be fun. if i'm really lucky they'll have some pizza left. dubious though.
  • democratic political theory was really interesting today.
  • picnic day is on saturday, can't wait.
  • kurt cobain rocks.
  • insert witty phrase here.
  • updated movies list.
  • people haven't really answered this poll question as much...probably because it's at the bottom instead of the top.

  • 4-10-00 (18:19)

  • i got the pictures from the trip developed. you don't want to know how much it cost to get developed. obviously i won't be trusting vern when it comes to where i should get my film developed. good lord.
  • at any rate, i might get them online one of these days, hopefully i will.
  • screwed up at kdvs by missing my shift for the fundraiser. i suck and i'm not organizized. spelling is purposeful. watch taxi driver kids.
  • class wasn't anything spectacular. i learned some stuff i guess.
  • the pictures really are epic. i'll have to get them up. maybe phil can scan them.
  • not anything to write.

  • 4-10-00 (00:55)

  • Gil Scott-Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.mp3...this is your LAST chance to get a great song...
  • the other day a friend asked how often i cry and what i cry about. one thing i cry about a lot is how fucked this world is. after watching a movie that makes me think about it or listening to music that points it out, etc. this world sucks. not just davis, not just inner cities, not just the u.s., the whole world.
  • i like non-fiction books a lot more than fiction. i've seen a lot more crappy fiction films than crappy documentary films. aka don bonus, roger and me, and hoop dreams are the first documentaries that pop into my head.
  • i just went cruising (incidentally the bug started up on the first crank) around davis. i was looking for a homeless person who i might feed. i didn't find any.
  • i did lose my parking space. next door there are five people and five cars. upstairs there is (officially) one person and two cars. obviously a minor problem.
  • one cd away from 400. updated cdlist.
  • updated movies list. michael moore officially rocks....as if the rage video wasn't enough evidence.
  • i love tupac.
  • when i turn 21 i'm going to buy 5 bottles of booze and save them to pour out for the following fallen homies:

  • Malcolm X       Feb 21, 1965
    Karl Marx        Mar 14, 1883
    MLK                April 4, 1968
    Tupac               Sept 13, 1996
    Che                  October 9, 1967
  • fuck that green jesus.
  • money doesn't concern me very much lately. sure it can be a reason not to go to a movie or eat out, but i don't really worry about getting money for later. worst comes to worst i liquidate all my assets (except music related items), buy a van and live there. fine by me.
  • if we are the united states of america then we're americans. not to say people from mexico can't also claim to be american, but there is nothing else we can call ourselves, but that's only after you actually think about it. europeans call us american, not just us. it's not us being self-centered. calling your country "great" is having more of an ego, in my opinion.
  • i'm tired. ooooh, double entendre.
  • for as bad as my foot looked and felt that first night, it's amazing that it has healed so quickly.

  • 4-9-00 (22:05)

  • training at work today made me feel retarded.

  • 4-9-00 (17:32)

  • why are sports exciting? if you ask that question then you obviously haven't ever seen jason williams play. you didn't see the 3 pt. shot by tim hardaway with .2 second left on the clock to beat the Knicks. you've never seen joe montana play. good lord sports rock.
  • jason williams is one of the top five most exciting basketball players i've ever seen. even when he screws up it's fun to watch. just saving a ball from going out of bounds he'll make a behind the back pass. he's amazing.

  • 4-9-00 (14:46)

  • jon's party wasn't too wild. food was really good. stayed at a four star hotel. watched fight club. a black woman and a middle eastern guy served us...that was a bit gay.
  • came away with plenty of soap and shampoo.
  • xoom server has sucked lately. not my fault.
  • i have more training tonight and then again on tuesday.
  • computers are dumb and so are people.
  • the bug ran relatively well. i want to throw money at the bug because it deserves it.

  • 4-8-00 (02:09)

  • tomorrow is jon's big birthday bash so i'll be putting some mileage on the car. kinda sucks in that respect.
  • show was stressful, but i probably did it to myself.
  • rather than haggling with myself or people my age i will appeal to the older, wiser population. to all old people: in regards to drinking and/or drugs what is the best stance to take...try some just to have fun and hope it doesn't get out of hand, stay away from it altogether, get really into it and clean up the mess later, or other...this is a short essay answer. i ask you because i know where i stand and i know where my peers stand, but the fact of the matter is that we're not wise enough when it comes to this stuff so i leave the question to you.
  • had a nice long chat about film, music, crazy christians, etc. that was fun.
  • the clipboard i got from jon not too long ago was one of the best impromtu presents i've gotten. i've NEVER owned a clipboard, now i do.
  • foot is doing a lot better.
  • i'm tired

  • 4-7-00 (01:58)

  • as humans we are very conditioned. we see shit on the floor and we say 'oh gross' we see violence and we cringe or say it's bad. it's not always a bad thing, but it's definitely there.
  • if there are 15 people in a society and they get 300K a year in income to assign however they decide what will happen? well if they employ a system of democracy then there are innumerable possibilities. one likely one is that 8 of the 15 (a majority - remember majority rules) will vote to have the money themselves which would leave the other 7 shit out of luck and the 8 will have all the money and since this is (of course!?) a capitalist society they will thus have all the power. what happens if the minority 7 bribe one of the eight...then another faction will have formed...it's all politics. of course they could vote to divide it evenly, but everyone is self interested and any majority rules so each will fear other factions forming. either fear or self-interestedness will lead to 7 people being screwed over. when these seven people are screwed over they won't have any faith in the new form of government...after all it doesn't work for them. it's amazing democracy works especially with a capitalist mentality/economy. it's sad that an economic system translates into a mentality. capitalism gradually leads to a bipolarization in the income distribution. the rich get richer and the poor - poorer. if you can't figure this out by looking at the world then maybe you should read or maybe even just watch the latest rage against the machine video...the top 10% of the nation own 80% of all wealth. the top 1% own 40% of all wealth...this said since market economies and democracy go hand in hand it should follow that eventually this underprivileged majority will wake up and, in the spirit of true democracy, have a revolution. now in the meantime revolutionaries who crack into the system...like FDR or...uhm...uh...well maybe LBJ was planning on doing it...at any rate, people like this will redistributed income as best as they can...social welfare programs, programs for the arts, etc. despite what you see on tv the majority of real artists (not puff daddy and john grisham) are not in the upper 10% of the nation. if not for FDR we may very well be on the verge of a revolution. i can only wonder how much longer people will accept the DOW as a measure of the nation's well-being. in case you have any doubts...the gap between rich and poor is growing...substantially.
  • updated movies list.
  • the world can be such a piece of shit. i really think that things, whether they will or not, should change in a major way. the very term conservative implies the opposite of forward thinking. in something as changing and volatile as society how can anyone perscribe to an ideology that advocates stagnation. we need forward movement in our thoughts...politically, socially, and economically. conservatism may work in an agraian society, but we're about 200 years past that now. i hate industrialization, but we can't hide in our shells hoping that leaving things alone will help. adapt, be liberal, change the system. institute social programs, social welfare, expand education, redistribute income, etc. and godfuck republicans.
  • i'm tired, i have the second part of training tomorrow, and the show and a little encounter with a friend. next week on friday (4-13-00) between 3-4:30pm you should call (530)752-0728 and pledge money to KDVS. support vern and i. support alternative, free form, non-commercial radio. support a public radio station that plays jazz, independent rock, country, classical, hip-hop, rap, techno of all sorts, folk, blues, avant-garde, world music, industrial, noise, punk, metal, etc. so many genres i don't even know why i tried to start listing them. we play it all, we broadcast on the internet, we don't run ads from disney, nike, coke, gm, nokia, air touch, intel, microsoft or anyone else for that matter. we don't have commercials...hence the title - non-commercial radio. don't let the system capture your voice. be heard.
  • godfuck this world.
  • i'm not depressed, just aware.

  • 4-5-00 (21:03)

  • was biking back from class today and some guy pointed at me while he was coming out of avalon...just pointed and kinda pumped his fist once toward me. it was weird. then i realized that he must have been looking at my shirt. rage against the machine. fear is your only god. obviously he knows what's up.
  • mondays and wednesdays are going to be really long. 6 hours of class is kinda gay. this quarter feels a lot like high school. during high school going back to school was a drag. it was an actual end to break...up until this quarter i've never really felt like going back to school was an actual ending to being on a break. it's weird like that. i think the long mondays and wednesdays are to blame.
  • i woke up an hour early today because i set my clock an hour ahead. that is, the clock read 11am, but it was really 10am. i stayed up and got stuff done. hair cut. signed up for the bike class. and talked to my new boss about training. good recovery after the first impression of 'hey i'm working for you today and i'm coming in here with a broken foot. good luck getting me to start work - ever!' so i start training tomorrow. 10 am.
  • over under sideways down - yardbirds own.
  • i was tired, now i'm not.
  • i can actually fake walking. in a couple days i'll be able to walk for real, without pain. damn i'd have to say that i'm really proud of my body's ability to recover.
  • i'm going to start pointing out stuff that the government does well. i think the census bureau, for the mass of job they have, has done a really great job so far. their campaign seems really well planned out. everyone and their mother has seen the commercials and everyone and their dog has heard of the jobs they're offering. good going guys.
  • luke had a good one on his page the other day...he said something like 'i got into two things no one else thought i would - uc berkeley and jenny.' go luke.
  • el condor pasa (if i could) is one damn awesome song. my mom did a good job of making some of my musical tastes quite a bit on the woose side. peter, paul, and mary, simon and garfunkel, carpenters, etc. i'm down with it though. i'd rather be a hammer than a nail...i'd rather be a forest than a street.
  • okay xoom sucks nut so bookmark the mirror site...back on geocities...i updated it almost as much and it's far more reliable.
  • updated mp3 list.

  • 4-4-00 (23:53)

  • got a funny, but surprisingly good, cover of eazy-e's 'boyz in tha hood'...it's done by some white guy with an acoustic guitar, if you can believe that.
  • i'd like to buy a shit load of music. i'd really like that.

  • 4-4-00 (17:56)

  • got four cds today, only one is a full length...the rest are singles. i updated the cd list.
  • good thing is that the new rage against the machine video is on the first half of the 2 cd single set...so i got to see the full version of that. it really rocks.
  • the moby single has a remix by beastie boys michael diamond so i had to get that. and the last cd i got was the latest air album.
  • it's amazing how fucked up my foot was two days ago. i could get up. couldn't put any pressure on it. now i can almost walk on it. one reason is that i've been favoring it so much and i've only been on it a total of 1.5 hours.
  • 1.5 hours when read sounds gay, but writing out one and a half hours takes too damn long.
  • so i have three moby singles from the same album...funny.
  • peace.

  • 4-4-00 (02:06)

  • updated movies list.
  • the world offers such a contrast of ugliness and beauty.
  • changing who you are is hard.
  • i'm going to sign up for the experimental college bike maintenance class tomorrow.
  • spelling is not my forte. in fact i think i suck at it.
  • i can't wait to start making money. went into work to sign some papers and i felt like such a gimp. what a first impression...hi ms. supervisor...this is my first official day of work and i can't walk...you can count on me!
  • i think my foot rocks so much. i anticipate a quick recovery...i'll over-favor it whenever i have to walk just to make sure, but it's leagues better than it was last night. last night after i had it elevated for a long time i got up to make some dinner and as soon as the blood started rushing into the foot it felt like a real bitch. like one of those really mean bitches who just won't shut up.
  • i love women, don't worry. i love women very often in fact. har har. my words are so different from my actions it's quite the mystery. is the pituitary gland on the same side of the brain that controls speech? if so i'm assuming it would be the opposite side as the part that controls actions. sometimes i really think that if i was studied i'd be found to be some kind of medical anomaly. maybe i'm just being self-centered.
  • if i was a god loving type then right now i'd be thanking god that this injury wasn't as severe as possible. i'd also be thanking jesus, my savior, that i was given the opportunity to feel what it's like to be injured so i may learn to be more sympathetic of injured people in the future. at what point do you stop thanking god? how about when your people are far and away the most underprivileged in the world...earning less than 100 bucks a year in a third world country ruled by chaos, facist government, disease, and the struggle to convert to a market economy which breeds even more competition in an already cut throat environment...no i'd probably thank him then too, because at least i'm not dead...or am i?...or maybe really being dead would be better?!
  • i just pulled a thom yorke, noam chomsky, zach de la rocha, che guevara, malcolm x, chuck d, et al.
  • rustle, rustle, crumple. fart. pause. fart. "ahhhh" - vern in peak performance during trip de la hitchhiking.
  • i think my grandmother called tonight. man i was so out of it. it's really strange how you go on autopilot when you're awoken from a rest.
  • i shall be taking a rest soon. this update consumed 22 minutes of beautiful opportunity.

  • 4-3-00 (21:22)

  • well it's been ten hours since i took the drugs the doctor gave me and my foot isn't too bad right now. my body rocks big time. at this rate i'll only need to take the drugs a couple times and can sell the surplus to a junkie. money...yea.
  • took a nap today and now i'm not sure why i'm awake. if i could i'd just go back to sleep for 12 hours.
  • three classes today and i have the same teacher in two of them...one 10 pager and one 15-20...great.
  • one class tomorrow.
  • it could be argued that people only do things with selfish motives...even helping others could be seen as doing it to make themselves feel better. take it or leave it. i don't think it's always true, but i haven't come up with many exceptions where this doesn't hold some truth, in general.

  • 4-3-00 (00:55)

  • only one piece of news for today...i fucked up my foot in basketball today. jumped for a rebound and landed on some oaf's foot. i got the rebound. i heard a pop and now i can't walk on my right foot. i've iced it and kept it elevated. it hurts. at least it's not the ankle. according to monique it's probably not a break. who knows.
  • first day of school tomorrow, i've got 6 hours of class and 8 hours of being on campus. have to go into work to sign some papers. this sucks big time.
  • updated movies list.

  • 4-2-00 (10:52)

  • well i woke up to the most fucked up dream in a long time. i was with phil and we had to kill a band of nips...vietnamese people, but i was calling them nips in the dream. he was hesitant to kill them, but i knew we had to because they had killed one of our friends. it pretty much sucked.
  • in less hefty news - it's going to be a scorcher today.
  • traded some cds with vern so my cd list grew a bit. i think i got the better part of the deal, but there's no need to argue...ha ha. if you knew which cds we traded that "joke" might make more sense. i even got to delete an mp3...fun stuff.
  • today's going to be long. i'll play basketball and finally watch all of streetcar named desire.
  • tomorrow i have class and my first day at work, but i think it's just to sign papers.
  • intent is a funny thing because it doesn't always matter, but should it? don't ask me, but at least i thought about it.
  • what's the best way to end a long relationship? quick like a band-aid? slowly hinting at it so they're prepared? quick, but with support afterwards?...there's no easy way, that's for sure. obviously this has nothing to do with any present dilemma of mine. ahhh, being single.
  • Gil Scott-Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.mp3...this is your LAST chance to get a great song...
  • in case you missed some of the last few days...last month's updates are here.
  • that should be about it.

  • 4-2-00 (03:16 - after taking into account the daylight savings shiznit)

  • well johnny made a surprise visit. that's cool even if it's just for a day. we had fun despite our usual debates on the merits of certain sports, etc.
  • april fool's day has come and gone...whoop whoop.
  • grades came in and i did well enough to stay in school so that's good news. it's so frustrating when you study hours on end every day (just ask my roommates) and you still don't achieve as highly as you might wish. ahhh, being a slacker is great.
  • i have no care for grades whatsoever. no sure i ever really respected that whole system. any system that allows me to care two nights a quarter and still pass with B's isn't such a great system. if i wanted to become a doctor i'd be so screwed...multiple choice tests and all. man i'd eat it big time.
  • watched some quality PBS national geographic programming tonight...that was really good. animals are so damn cool. humans, white people in particular, absolutely suck ass. "fuck this world"
  • leonard nimoy reminds me of my grandfather.
  • i'm getting more bugs in my room...maybe it's the heat. it's getting warmer everyday now. man winter ended damn fast...summer is going to suck big time. my two biggest expenses will be gas and sunscreen, followed closely by gatorade or water. the summer could turn out to be a big time dud or it could rock...depends upon the bourgeoisie...uh, i mean jon.
  • i think gas prices will dip about 10 cents in the next two weeks, but then go up again after that...that's what i'm banking on anyway. i agree with johnny and vern that gas should be up around 3 bucks a gallon, but it needs to happen over a year, at least. oh and minimum wage needs to increase to 7 bucks/hour and taxes need to go up too. no one will ever win on a platform like that. dishonesty can be good.
  • the world offers such extremes...the beauty of life, the colors of nature, the rock formations in utah, etc. then, on the other side of the spectrum, is the human race - chain saws, 18 wheelers, industrialization, burned out inner cities, racism, hate, blah blah blah. then there's music and art and national geographic...and anything else the republicans want to cut funding for. ahhh, fuck this world.
  • heard ok computer by radiohead today...i liked the lyrics more than the actual music part, but that usually takes a while to grow accustomed to anyway. it's got potential. thom yorke either is mentally fucked or sees quite clearly...depending on where you stand.
  • i guess a lot of things depend on where you stand. to some the four or five monks who burned themselves in protest were just crazy. to others they were modern martyrs. whatever you do don't ask my retarded ex-roommate jordan. i don't think thich quang duc is white enough for jordan to think of him as a martyr.
  • well that's all for now...i've lost an hour of sleep and i must wake early tomorrow to bid johnny farewell. just think about things people. please just think. think about beauty. think about ugliness. think. don't think like me. don't think like this, don't think like that. just think; do your own thinking and i'll be happy. ahhh, thinking.

  • Thich Quang Duc
    Saigon, Vietnam on June 11, 1963.
    A protest against the American backed Ngo Dinh Diem.
    This photo won the 1963 Pulitzer Prize and was on the cover of Time.


    3-31-00 (22:02)

  • television has reached new lows. saw this show called 'making the band' or something to that effect. basically it's about how boy bands like the backstreet boys and 'nsync are made by getting some good looking decent singers together and teaching them how to dance and be idiots. in this show they had 8 losers who are trying to be in a boy band; only 5 will make it - here is where the drama begins....oooooh. at any rate, 6 of these guys are complete assholes, some cheat on their unsuspecting, innocent, retard girlfriends, some have their heads in the clouds. 1 guy was on the fence...he had some redeeming qualities like, get this, compassion for his fellow man...however, he still fraternized with the rest of the idiots. the last 1 of the 8 was a fluke - he loves his girlfriend, doesn't look at other girls, hates the other retards, doesn't want to "sell out," etc. i was amazed by him. at one point the guy went outside to be alone and one of the fellows in charge of this fantastic operation walked outside and told him to stop "isolating" himself from everyone else. when the cool guy said he didn't want to sell out the manager guy told him that "adapting" is not selling out...it's a great tool in life. i think the only tool in question is the guy who is encouraging this young man to forget his values and begin fraternizing with mongrel retards.
  • let it be known - i don't proofread my page before uploading it. it's amazing how much mail i get from people correcting my spelling. i guess i should learn to take criticism better or something.
  • today was sooo exciting.
  • made a small change to the poll, check it out.
  • free jazz is fun stuff. the next jazz album i want is coltrane's 'ascension'...it rocks. jazz has always amazed me in that so many greats can work together. some of the groups put together by davis would be like having all of the guitarists to ever have been on the yardbirds working together at once. for those not understanding: it would be like have all three members of TLC singing with britney spears, christina aguilera, and celine dion...hmmm, although in jazz it would mean gathering people with talent. on davis' LP "kind of blue" the personnel include davis, cannonball adderley, coltrane, bill evans, and more. the examples don't end there either...i'd say jazz is the most collaborative western genre i know of. hip-hop would be second. here's the example i might have been looking for: in the mid-late sixties if lennon and mccartney (of the beatles), richards and jagger (of the rolling stones), page (at the time, of the yardbirds), and hendrix had all gotten together then, besides not having a bassist or drummer, you'd have a collaboration of the greatest artists at the time. this is what it's like in jazz - all the greats coming together.
  • i think that last paragraph was really scattered, but i'll never know because i don't proofread this stuff.
  • spring quarter started today i guess. i wouldn't know i don't have classes on friday.
  • kdvs fundraiser is coming up april 10-16 so that should be fun. it's always the most fun week of the year in kdvs. last year at that time i was hit by a car. i suffered a few scrapes, mostly minor, a torn backpack - in two places, a bent wheel, and a skewed brake lever. those were fun times.
  • the day was filled with boredom...i got one email worth any notice...the rest were either junk or kdvs bs.
  • i need to do more editorials because. just because. i just did a little ditty on selling out. check it out or suffer.
  • over the past month i've become far more self-conscious when writing on this here page...mostly because people critique it. whether it's positive or negative feedback it has caused me to chiggiddy check myself. if, for example, i was a best selling author i might have a lot of pressure to perform well. if i was a piece of shit author who got hate mail all the time i'd have pressure to do better or possibly might feel so bad i wouldn't write anymore. the same applies. and with my uncanny ability to blow things out of proportion i've created both scenarios several times.
  • not sure why i shaved today.
  • i think cat stevens put it best - "just another saturday night and i ain't got nobody..." well it's friday, but the theme holds true.
  • i was watching drew carrey, a sometimes funny show on fox, and there was a certain part that struck me...he has four best friends, two of them formed a relationship beyond friendship and started dating...ahhh, drama. at any rate, drew goes over to the girl half of this new relationship and conveys (quite funnily) his concern that now he (drew) and the other guy (we'll call him jack) are the only single ones of the group and will feel left out. he also says that it'll be weird because she won't be able to relate him when he complains about being single anymore. she responds "don't worry drew you'll find someone"...then drew flashes back in time to several points in his life when he has heard this before...from his mom, from an old girlfriend, from other friends, etc...the point being 'yea right, i've hear that load of crap before'...after that she says to drew 'and besides don't worry, we'll always be friends'...again drew flashes back to ex-girlfriends, etc. who have said this very phrase before. i can relate to drew, not because i'm a fat guy with glasses who makes beer in his basement, but because i, too, have heard such phrases several times before. the next person who says "don't worry chris, you'll find someone" is going to lose a leg. it's like saying "don't worry chris, you're gonna die"...sure i know it'll happen, but i don't know when.
  • in matters of money the same uncertainty always looms. however i've learned that in regards to money it's not much of a big deal. worst case scenario i'll live on the road for a while...jump trains, hitchhike, etc. up until a week ago everyone would have laughed at that...but now it's a distinct possibility. i could do it and i could live. it's nice knowing that it's an option. damn that rocks.
  • this month's updates have been the longest ever. despite the spring break i still got a good number of hits. march really will live in infamy.

  • 3-31-00 (17:54)

  • finished show...it was two hours instead of 1.5...it will probably be like that for the rest of the quarter because we won't be able to get pacifica radio going.
  • played all jazz. free and avant-garde. it rocked. in the first 1.5 hours i played all relative unknowns so i guess that's good.
  • not much to do these days.
  • so i watch tv and see these idiots jumping around to gay music and i assume it's another witty commercial mocking pop culture...nope it's a gap commercial. when will the backlash against imbecility come? there was a backlash against political correctness...when will there be one against the gap and britney spears?
  • highlight of the day was getting the same wrong answer as all three jeopardy contestants on final jeopardy tonight.

  • 3-30-00 (23:10)

  • this month has owned in just about everyway possible.
  • i've decided to get all the beatles albums, including the past masters set, on cd. at first i was going for the vinyl only approach, but after much thought i've decided it will do well to break up some of my rankings...should be interesting to see where i decide to fit them in.
  • downloaded lots of free music today. yay

  • 3-30-00 (17:50)

  • saw some of the "sleep now in the fire" video by rage against the machine...it's online...it rocks. you have to see it. wish they had a full version to download online.
  • today has been really boring.
  • got the mail today. returned my videos. which reminds me updated movieslist.
  • damn this sucker is nice.
  • bored still. maybe i'll eat.

  • 3-29-00 (21:05)

  • saw about 30 seconds of some new star trek series. they had the doctor singing as if in an opera...is nothing sacred?
  • i have a massive list of cds i want to get...boy i can't wait till i get some moola.
  • i only have 10 pictures to take on my second roll before i can get them developed. another thing i can't wait for.
  • meet the new boss, same as the old boss....we won't get fooled again
  • i just remembered (not sure why) this one time when my dad and i went to the nuart (an indie theater in LA) to watch a movie...forget which one, but we got to the car and i was going on the passenger side and he was opposite me. i looked inside the car and said 'uh dad there's a guy in your car'...he looked in there and sure enough there was someone laying down in the car. so my dad opened the door and said 'hey bud come on out' the guy didn't wake up so my dad dragged him out and then he started to wake up...he had no idea what was going on so my dad kinda helped him over to a corner in the parking lot. it was crazy stuff.
  • i got the live version of guerilla radio in NY...before they started touring. it rocks of course.
  • that's that.

  • 3-29-00 (00:07)

  • CCR's ramble tamble is absolutely epic. ahhh, CCR.
  • think i'll put the polls on the bottom from now on, just because it looks better that way. ahhh, aesthetics.
  • lots of people on icq today. potential for soap opera type chats too. bad stuff. ahhh, love.
  • 1969 and 1970 were probably the two best years for music...this is my humble opinion which means if you come up to me and say "how could you not include 1964?!" i'll probably spit on your glib smily face. that would be really nasty, but you get the point, no? ahhh, random acts of violence.
  • so i've put the poll on the bottom, it's a newbie...there will  be a quick link up above from now on. ahhh, change

  • 3-28-00 (22:04)

  • u.s. debt.
  • updated movies list.
  • 60 movies so far...way off schedule, but i'll have time to make it up.
  • got 8 more maps from AAA today. so now i have or, wa, nv, ut, mt, id, az, nm, south ca, north ca, central ca, bay area, los angeles, seattle, portland, and a western region map. it rocks.
  • been getting some odd hits lately...from georgetown, houseware.com, etc. weird.
  • vern went home today. i ride solo on friday...i'm going to play all jazz, yippee.
  • i want to pump some dough into the bug once i get a steady cash flow
  • CCR rocks.
  • saw an advertisement for ask jeeves.com on an orange at the supermarket...it was sad. capitalism is sad.
  • get busy living or get busy dying.
  • our trip absolutely owned all spring break trips ever. i don't think even jack kerouac was on a train that derailed.
  • the fox show 'the family guy' rocks big time. it could be another simpson-esque long running, animated, irreverent, bundle of laughs and social commentary.
  • later this week it'll reach 80...wow it really is spring. picnic day is coming up. picnic day is always good and i always wear my rage shirt. ahhh, spring.
  • when i was a youngster i remember hearing lots of simon and garfunkel in my mom's car...also heard a lot of peter, paul, and mary. i downloaded lemon tree last night...i've heard the song about 1000 times and this is the first time i was able to understand the lyrics...ahhh, love.
  • i should end all my sentences the same way...ahhh, repetition.
  • freebies are cool...ahhh, freebies.
  • yet a third person liked my back from the trip update...ahhh, compliments.
  • i'm running out of interesting things to say....ahhh, writer's block.

  • ahhh, Carl Lewis
    3-28-00 (00:54)
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cd list.
  • girls smell really good...katie (the last one to give us a ride) smelled like a piece of heaven. ahhh.
  • bought music for the first time in over a month. even got 3 tapes for the car...miles davis with john coltrane, simon and garfunkel (bridge over troubled water), and ravi shankar (the genius of ravi shankar)...he rocks big time.
  • also bought a "i love tibet" sticker and put it on my car. my car is quickly gaining personality. two stickers and the rage against the machine shirt over the seat.
  • speaking of rage against the machine shirts...i got two in the mail today. i never ordered them. must be a mistake. one i already had the other i didn't. so it looks like i somehow got lucky. i think i have about 10 rage shirts now. that rocks.
  • so far 2 people have said i should try and publish my description of the trip...interesting.
  • i don't want to go back to school.
  • jonique paid for dinner tonight. we all ate while vern and i told the story of our trip.
  • i'm trying to learn the harmonica...i've got the first part of kum-ba-yah down now. it's pretty funny.

  • 3-27-00 (01:43)

  • March 2000 has been the best month of my life. Losing my virginity would really be the best way to end this month.
  • i don't know where to start.
  • so there has been the change in weather. random phone calls. then there was the great tractor driving experience. there's the increase in my anemic social life. then there's the great "hiking" trip with vern.
  • up to now it's been referred to on this page as a hiking trip. now that it's done though i can unmask its true identity. for those who didn't know, vern and i planned on going to seattle this spring break using a combination of the rail system and our hitchhiking thumbs. the following is a summary of the last four days...it's a bit anticlimactic since you know that i'm alive, but here it is anyway. it's going to be long.
  • i'm tired so excuse any grammatical or spelling errors.
  • night one: we're given a ride (from jon) to the closest place in davis where we've seen trains stop. 8pm. vern and i see a line of stopped cars, but not hooked up to any caboose. jon wishes us good luck and leaves. vern and i get into the first empty and open car we see. we scope out the scene and decide to wait for a train to come along. surely enough after about 30 minutes one comes a long...right next to ours (there are about four tracks side by side). it's going entirely too fast to hop it. we start down the tracks and look for a position where the train might slow a bit more. we come to the train station and see a train coming, but it's still going too fast to hop. so we walk about 1200m and wait along an empty bridge hoping that it'll be slowest along here. a scrappy looking guy comes along. mind you it's about 11pm by this time and dark as ever. he walks right up to us. my hand is in my jacket pocket holding my switchblade. when he's two feet away from us he asks "you guys seen a drunk guy walk across these tracks?" we both say no and he asks again, but slightly differently. i say that i saw a guy a few hundred yards up the tracks, but he didn't look drunk. so then the guy leaves vanishing into the bushes. a couple times he comes out of the bushes and walks across the tracks back and forth. meanwhile only one train comes and it's going too fast. we abandon that idea. we walk towards the freeway hoping to catch a ride out of davis so we're not tempted to spend the night at home. no such luck. we head back to the original open cars and settle there. it's well past midnight so we settle down and decide to spend the night in davis...sleeping in the box cars. vern sleeps quite well. i do not sleep at all. at around 3am two trains pass us really fast. then a little later a hear some screaching...no it's not vern's ass. then i feel a thump and a jerk of the train. this wakes vern up and i'm fucking freaking out. i was really scared because i heard footsteps outside and here we are in our sleeping bags ready to be butt-raped by the hobo gang. at any rate the train starts heading east, with us on it. this lasts about 40 seconds, then we go back west again for 40 seconds, then we stop for 5 minutes then, without any thump or warning we head east again, this time we're not stopping. vern and i get out of the sleeping bags. i'm fucking scared off my ass and have no idea what to expect. we see sacramento come and go then roseville then we stop, this is around 4am or so. for the next 2 hours or so we just wait to start going again. there are trains on either side of us so we figure we're at a train depot of sorts.
  • day one: at sunrise we get out and check around. the 80 freeway is to our left and about 10 more train tracks are to our right...it's a union pacific station is what i'm thinking. so we cook up some coffee and some oatmeal. it was the best coffee i've ever had and the oatmeal was better than a niners super bowl win (well almost). we hang out for 4 hours at this graveyard of trains trying to hop onto a train heading east...all to no avail. meanwhile we are carrying our packs and canteen while dodging the union pacific staff who looks over the trains. eventually we take to the road. we hump it to the nearest freeway entrance we can find. at this point my shoulders are killing me...i'm definitely not the backpacking type and i'm running off of absolutely zero sleep. oddly though i've got energy. my shoulders, however, are sore. so after a couple miles of trekking through roseville we find a good on ramp. we set down our stuff and stick out our thumbs. it felt really weird doing something like that...either you see it in the movies or you see bums do it. it's not something you see yourself doing so it felt surreal, but then again so did the train ride. one car passes and doesn't look. then another and then the third car (a black child molester type van) pulls over. we run to it and ask the guy where he's going. he says east which is good enough for me. i've got my switchblade and vern's got my other one too, so we're set. i try opening the back door, but it doesn't work. so we both go through the front door which could have been bad because he could have waited for one of us to be in and then just floored it. at any rate we both get in and we all talk about regular stuff. he's a painter who just got laid off and he was in the marine corps...fucking great suicide material...even better murdering spree material. he tells us he'll take us to some town just a few miles up because the cops there aren't as mean as the roseville cops. we get to that exit and he decides he'll take us further - to auburn...uh okay, that works we say. meanwhile he's swerving all over the place, cutting people off and missing exit signs by just a few feet. he takes us to auburn and dumps us near a foster's freeze wishing us good luck. thanks, bye. his name was daniel c. miller and i thought he was a really stand up guy. my hope for humanity, oddly, increased after meeting him. he reminds me a lot of my dad's cousin (whose name escapes me now, but he's the bumish one who is probably the most happy person i've met). we bum it at foster's freeze for a bit admiring some hotties and resting a bit. then we take off for another highway 80 onramp. we get to one about 1200m down the road. shoulders still sore. we wait there for about 40 minutes. at this point we had signs made out saying "north" and "east"...for about 25 minutes we used those and we had no luck so we wrote on the back of the north sign "we vote" the implication being that we're not bums, we're honest, voting citizens just trying to get a ride. so we get a ride from a kinda gay, but really nice guy in his early twenties who is going about 15 miles up the road to colfax. we get there and all we see is a subway sandwich place and a cheap gas station. (side note...the highest price for gas i saw was $2.21 for the 92 octane). we wait there about 30 minutes or so, maybe more...it's a really small place, but someone pulls up and offers a ride. she looks pretty nice and opens the trunk on my way to the trunk i see a single sticker on her car window "Beastie Boys." i offer her my soul and all my money. no, i put my stuff in the trunk and ask her 'what's your favorite beastie boys album'...she thinks a little then i ask "paul's boutique?"...she says "yea, that has to be it actually."...great album i say. so she takes us really far, up to donner summit. it's butt ass cold up there and i'm wearing shorts. before that, though, we talk about the beastie boys and what she does...she's a teacher for 11th grade in oakland. she (tracy is her name) really likes john coltrane (my favorite jazz musician) and she likes radiohead too (vern's favorite band). so, needless to say, we both loved tracy and offered our bodies in return for her favor. she accepted and we had wild sex in the car. never mind. so as soon as we get to the rest stop at the top of donner's summit i put on my pants and vern looks for a ride. in the middle of putting on my pants we get a ride...so we hop in and get a ride down to reno, much better elevation, much better traffic flow. this guy was a civic engineer in the making and was looking for a job. he listens to smashing pumpkins and has a nice kenwood receiver so he's pretty down (for those of you who aren't hip: that means he's pretty cool). we're in reno and we're bums. it rocked. reno was a complete shit hole. in fact nevada is complete shit...all of it. we get on a freeway onramp and wait. lots of hicks in their old chevy and ford pickups. finally a latio guy offers a ride so we get in the back of his truck - ooh, scary. we get a ride about 20 miles down the highway to this little piece of shit town. all it has is a gas station and a taco bell inside the gas station. we clean up in the bathroom and i change into my pants...bums are allowed to do that without being in the bathroom so i just did it outside. then we get to the onramp and wait for a ride. we were really close once...a guy was with his girlfriend and we gave a really nice sweet smile which didn't impress him (he was driving), but she jumped on him and begged him to stop...oh well.
  • night two: as FATE would have it we did have someone stop for us - washoe county sheriff. she gets out and asks where we're going, where we're coming from, if we have any outstanding warrants, tells us that hitchhiking in washoe county is illegal (wow it is!?), and then asks if we have any weapons. uh, yes ma'am i have this illegal switchblade straight from europe...actually i didn't tell her that. i said we had swiss army knives and that's it. after looking at our ID she asks vern how old he is...he says 21 and then she says 'this picture makes you look 12'...never were more true words spoken! after looking at mine she asks 'where is rajah st.'...uh that's where i lived you stupid bitch! actually i just said that it was near magic mountain in southern calif. she says she used to live in sylmar...in case you don't know about sylmar it's a pretty small place in los angeles county so her being from there is pretty amazing.  then she says we have two options: "i can arrest you and you'll have a place to sleep tonight, or i can give you a ride to border town about 8 miles up the road." uh we'll take the ride. "ok then i'll need to pat you down to make sure you don't have any weapons" so we think - oh shit don't do that. luckily she says "you can put whatever swiss army knives or whatever into your bags and then i'll pat you down" we got really lucky there. she pats us down...so i guess you could say i got some action! she puts the bags into the trunk and we get a ride to bordertown. what a fucking dump. we eat dinner there because it's really really cold and we want to be inside as much as possible. this is another place with only a restaurant and a gas station. we sleep outside right off highway 395. i sleep a combination of 1 hour the whole night...i've found out that i'm claustrophobic...that mummy sleeping bag (which is only kind good enough to keep the whole body warm) just stifles me way too much. i was awake pretty much the whole time. even vern only got about 4.5 hours of sleep that night.
  • day two: we 'woke up' at around 6am. there was frost on our sleeping bags and our backpacks...a bad sign. i checked the diner, it wouldn't open till 7am. so we made some coffee with our little stove and pot...really a nice contraption actually. that coffee was the best coffee i've ever had...even better than the day before. i cursed the whole morning until the diner opened up. i was so ready to go home i was so tired i was so cold. we ate pancakes and took our time in the diner. dan (one of the bus boys) got us water the night before and i think he recognized us. dan is a great guy, i can tell. he works hard and tries to be a stand up person. i wish i could have given him some money. at any rate we leave there around 8am or so and hit the onramp...it's not much of an onramp and it only feeds from the bordertown so the traffic is very limited. so we run onto the actual highway (395 north) and try and get people to stop from there...of course they're going 80 mph so they will not likely stop. we see a group of four kids from minnesota stop by the CA border sign, but their car is full so they bid us farewell and good luck. about 3 hours later a chick pulls over and offers a ride about 8 miles from susanville (which is where we wanted to go) naturally we take it. she was nice and i slept in the car for about 2 minutes...my head bobbed all over and it was a pathetic sight. so we get dropped off. we eat and then start walking toward susanville while asking for rides. we see 2 highway patrol cars total, but one keeps going back and forth looking for speeders. then a sheriff passes us, then later he comes back and stops by us. i'm playing the harmonica when he comes up. he asks the same questions and all that. another sheriff stops and joins the orgy. after they figure out that we're cool they let us go and say good luck. we hitchhike some more and eventually get a ride from a good looking girl named denise. she's from montana and recently moved to sacramento. we tell her about our radio show and all that. she was awesome too. she gives us a ride to susanville. we stop by a gas station and find out where the 44 is...it's the one that goes toward redding, which is right on the 5...so we can head back home. we weren't tired of it, but we were definitely tired. as you might be able to tell, the day goes by very slowly...it seems like a week, at the same time we always had energy to do it. it was much fun. at any rate we stop off at a grocery store along main st...which feeds to highway 44 (redding) and 89 (shasta)...both leading to highway 5. we wait there for about 20 minutes and the small town folk actually seem to like us, but no ride comes. then a couple scraggly looking young fellows in a VW scirocco. they say they're going to medford oregon...perfect...runs right through shasta. i kinda would have liked to go to oregon just for bragging rights, but it could have been raining, who knows...so they move a BUNCH of shit out of the back seat and clear room for us. it's a tight fit, but it works. there's a potato at my feet. who knows how it got there, how long it's been there...they were bigger bums than us. first thing they ask 'do you guys like country' second thing they ask 'do you guys smoke herb' third thing they ask 'why not'...it was funny. we ended up listen to kid rock. around lassen, it was snowing and we saw a wolf, that rocked. later they pulled off onto a back secluded road and stopped...scary. they got out and so did vern and i. they lit up and really nice about being downwind from us...overall i'd say these guys were really cool. then one of them introduces himself as travis. his friend is off smoking by the front of the car and says that his name is dumbass...that's what they call me when i'm at his house so that's what you can call him. i thought that was funny. then he snaps out a knife and picks his teeth with it. that was a bit scary, but actually not as much so as you might think. i think it has something to do with the knowledge that allah is on my side, or something. so we get back into the car and have a nice safe ride up to shasta. we wish them a good trip, say thanks and they do the same. in shasta it's freezing cold so we lobby really hard for a ride. one girl passes us and as she passes i give the 'ah come on look,' with a droopy face, and she turns around and asks where we're going. she is perfectly flawed. that is to say that she's not a model and some might think she's nothing special, but i was hooked right away. man i had a feeling about her. anyway, she was going down 89 (where we just came from) so we didn't get a ride from her. i never saw her again, but one day maybe i will and we'll have babies together...i'm a hopeless romantic.
  • night three: night settled in quickly and it was super cold. we ate over-priced mexican food. then we rented a motel for 42 bucks. that kinda sucked, but without a tent it had to be done. oh, after coming out of the mexican food place these drunkards gave us shit for not being white enough or something. i pulled out my knife and cut off their tongues. no, but i wanted to. drunk people are retarded. i had more fun hoping on one train than you'll ever have destroying your liver - fuck you! okay enough commentary.
  • day three: we woke up the next morning in a nice motel room rented out to us by an some indian guy. funny family i must say. so we hit the road at around 11am. we ditched our shitty canteen and just used our two 1 quart bottles hoping the reserve one gallon canteen wouldn't be necessary. we didn't get a ride for a long time and when we did it was from an unshaven guy who only went down the road 6 miles, to dunsmuir. we listened to wrapped around your finger by the police - that was cool. once in dunsmuir...another shitty one gas station town, we waited around for a long while. a sheriff came by and gave us the same stuff...blah blah blah. he said that one time a guy waited in dunsmuir for 5 days trying to get out...he said it was really hard to get rides out of dunsmuir...good luck he says. we were right over a train underpass...we saw a couple go by, but too quickly. then one stopped. so we ran down the hill and looked for an open car...but it started to move so vern jumped up and looked into one of the bins...he was on and i was jogging along side it waiting for him to decide. he said it was dirty, but it was up to me...i said do it. so we got in and got very dirty...it was extremely rusty and dusty inside, but we were moving again. we were moving fairly well and right along the sacramento river and the 5 freeway. it rocked...took lots of pictures along this stretch. we stopped briefly a couple times. then a bit of dust starts to kick up...no idea what it is, but it's just a bit, then it's more, and then it subsides a bit again...not much later we start to slow down pretty quickly...not a jerky stop like a slam on the brakes, but a quicker than normal stop...nothing jarring though. so we peek our heads up to see a box car off the tracks and on its side. as i look at it more and see the dust clear i see a small flame developing. i'm not fucking joking. then vern and i are fucking amazed and just in awe. we look at it more and more and the flame gets really big. we hope it doesn't start a forest fire. we hope it doesn't explode, etc. up ahead we see a couple cars on the track are tilted a little bit to the left and another to the right. so then the flame dies down a bit and i tell vern to hang tight i'm going to check what's up and if the train starts moving again that i'll hop back in....so i run about 7-8 cars ahead where the burning car is and i see the sight of a lifetime. i see the over turned car. i see springs that once comprised the shocks on the ground spaced out...i see the other cars in front of us off the rail and tipping over...i see the rail is literally broken, not bent - broken off. i see the wooden spacers are no longer a foot apart from each other...now they're all squished together or broken in half. i see a lot of wack shit. i get vern and we get our stuff. i take some pictures and then see a guy up ahead bending down...he may or may not have seen me, but i tell vern to start walking so we walk the opposite direction...luckily we're on the other side of the train. we see a path towards highway 5 so we take it. it's on a big hill because the river and the tracks are both in the bottom the canyon. we make it to the 5 north. i suggest running across so we can get to the 5 south and hitch a ride from someone, but instead we walk a mile up the five to a small town with NO services. no water, no gas, no anything. then we bust out the map and see that the closest town is 6 miles down (south) the road. figuring getting a ride out of a town with a population of 2 is going to be tough we head south. about 2 hours later we're about 6 miles down the road...i think our original calculation of 6 miles was off, but it was okay because a mile before the town was a rest stop.
  • night four: we had just literally walked 5 or more miles with our packs on our backpacks on and it turned dark. we were walking alongside the freaking 5 south. no one stopped. no one cared. it was crazy. so vern goes to the bathroom and i watch our stuff. i see a hottie go into the bathroom. then vern comes out of the bathroom and the hottie comes out just after him. i stop her and ask really nicely 'i'm sorry, but are you heading south by any chance?' she says yes and i ask if we could possibly get a ride...vern adds that we're students and we can show her our school id cards....she looks at them and i add that we've just walked like 5 miles and we're tired, we just want to get as far south as possible. she says it's kinda weird and she's never done that kinda thing before. 'are you going to kill me? because my mom would be really mad if you did' she laughingly asks...we say no...she says okay i'll give you a ride. i felt bad for using such sympathy tactics, but it had to be done and i was determined to not dissapoint....thus i decided not to kill her, or something. we talk a bit and she seems really nice, blah blah. eventually she says she's having trouble focusing (she forgot her glasses) and asks if anyone has their license... i say i do. then she asks if i can drive stick. of course i can. so i end up driving her car. it was pretty crazy. felt like a role reversal. her name's katie and she's super cool. vern offers to pay for some gas, but she declines. so we wrap the five spot around one of my masseuse business cards and put it in her bag. along the way she even falls asleep. i love being trusted. it's so great. eventually i take her pretty close to where she's going and it's right where we need to be because it's only 20 miles from davis and right off the 80 freeway which feeds into davis. so i get out of the car and before she takes the wheel i ask if she's okay to drive, she says yea. i was hoping she would have given a 'uh, well, yea i guess' type response. that way the benefits could be two-fold...first i'd drive to davis and second she'd spend the night and we could discover that we were meant to be, or something. neither happened. so here we are in vacaville and it's about 10pm. so we call jon and scott, neither are around. shit. so we go to denny's and eat. megan, the hottie waitress serves us. afterwards vern asks 'what time do you get off?' ...3:30am 'where do you live' she gives and odd look and then says in town. then we explain that we're just trying to get to davis...she wishes us good luck. then we finish up and try calling for a ride home again. freaking phone calls cost 75 cents and freaking gas stations won't give change unless you buy something and freaking gas stations don't freely dispense water and air (i didn't want any, but it's the law now that they provide free air and water in CA gas stations)...at any rate we eventually got scott to give us a ride home.
  • that's about if for that trip. it was crazy, it was exciting, it was tiring, it was worth more than a 2000 dollar vacation at club-med and it offers far more bragging rights. i've found a new respect for trains, bums, and hitchhikers. i know i'm bound to get mail from people telling me i'm crazy or stupid, but kindly reserve that for another time.
  • this month rocked in every way possible. i think finding a girlfriend really would be the best end to it all.
  • it's 4am so i should get some rest. i think this has been the longest updated, ever.
  • i got 25 emails and about 5 were worthy of anything.
  • i'm really happy i got a job.
  • i have no idea what to do tomorrow. i'll wake up at 3pm and just waste the day away. i think hitchhiking with a friend is the only way to travel. i want to hitchhike to LA next. it's free. it's fun. it's fun. oh and it's fun too.
  • fun, fun, fun till daddy took the t-bird away. beach boys rock.
  • sooooo tired.
  • oh, the new title of the page is coined from the phrase we so often used...while watching mtv the one night in the motel to the multiple rejections along the trip. sometimes people can suck a lot, but the people who gave us rides really restored a lot of my faith in the general promise of humans.
  • hopefully i can get a bunch of the pictures onto the page...not sure how much more it is to get them on disk.
  • i really wouldn't doubt that the train wreck would be in the local papers. it was just near lakehead near lake shasta...so look out for it.
  • goodnight. thank you train out of davis, dan c. miller, colfax guy, tracy, civic engineer hopeful guy, bordertown lady, denise, travis and dumbass, unshaven guy, train out of dunsmuir (even if you did die), and last, but definitely not least, katie.

  • Mt. Shasta, without all the snow.
    3-23-00 (16:30)
  • done with finals.
  • got an 85 on my other paper...that's about what i expected.
  • i got the job at the reserves desk so that's pretty nice to know.
  • see ya around.

  • 3-23-00 (00:09)

  • fantasy basketball is getting more exciting...i'm only 290 points away from the next guy. whoopy (goldberg). i'm a dork.
  • dj shadow fucking owns. i don't think i've ever used "owns" like that before, but it works and maybe I should start.
  • luke's page be on the down tip for me, still.
  • i'm a weirdo, it's official.
  • i should study for the final tomorrow.
  • the more i think about it, and the more jon rubs it in my face, the grade for that paper is amazing. a 94/100. i don't understand how it happened. i didn't even proofread the biznatch. crazy stuff. i still suck in school. but even school losers like me can have flashes of brilliance.
  • this is funny.
  • summer should be fun filled.
  • i should find out tomorrow about the job. i hope i get it, if i don't then i'll have to start begging for change.
  • i haven't purchased a CD in a month. i'm going through withdrawal. i'm stuck at 387 cds and it's annoying me.
  • remember to walk tall.
  • i wondered why i write on this webpage every damn day so i read the "why i make this page" link and remembered why. it's funny to read old updates of mine and see how much/little i've changed over the last couple years.
  • it's funny to think about the past sometimes. how i went from the trouble maker in elementary school to a trouble maker who doesn't get caught. just kidding. but really, it's odd how some of my friends have changed once they get into college...drugs, drinking, religion...all in the same category if you ask me. it's interesting and to be mulled over for hours on end. but not now.
  • Gil Scott-Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.mp3...you'll have to rename the extension to ".mp3"...the song rocks - it's well worth the download.
  • the revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal, the revolution will not be brought to you by xerox, there will be no pictures of pigs shooting down brothers on the instant replay, there will be no slow motion, green acres and beverly hillbillies will no longer be so damn relevant and women will not care if dick finally got down with jane because black people will be in the street looking for a brighter day...the revolution will not be right back after a message about a white tornado, white lightning or white people...the revolution will not go better with coke, the revolution will put you in the driver seat, the revolution will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised, the revolution will be no rerun brothers - the revolution will be live.
  • i can't wait for a revolution. you can kill a revolutionary, but you can't kill a revolution.
  • We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system.

  •    This revolution may or may not make use of violence: it may be sudden
       or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We
       can't predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the
       measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in
       order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of
       society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be
       to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis
       of the present society. (4)
  • Freedom means having power; not the power to control

  •    other people but the power to control the circumstances of one's own
       life. One does not have freedom if anyone else (especially a large
       organization) has power over one, no matter how benevolently,
       tolerantly and permissively that power may be exercised. (94)
  • It is true that some restrictions on our freedom could be

  •    eliminated, but GENERALLY SPEAKING the regulation of our lives by
       large organizations is necessary for the functioning of
       industrial-technological society. The result is a sense of
       powerlessness on the part of the average person. (114)
  • History is made by active, determined minorities, not by the majority,

  • which seldom has a clear and consistent idea of what it really wants. (189)
  • The revolution against technology will probably have

  •    to be a revolution by outsiders, a revolution from below and not from
       above. (194)

    3-22-00 (16:14)

  • i had my first final today - not so bad.
  • remember the paper i did on the cuban embargo? remember how much i thought it sucked. well i read it over again and it's not so bad as i thought. i guess the TA agreed. he gave me a 94 out of 100. i don't know what my deal is with papers. i better start recognizing.
  • in other news - one more final to go.
  • if i die my sister gets almost everything...my cds, my computer, my audio equipment, etc. phil can get all my clothes, movies, and my car. my dad gets my switchblades. my mom gets my dresser and books. vern can get my playboys, my bike, and any offbeat shirts i have. jon can get all my format cds and whatever else might be on them, oh he can get the four kosmic cds i made too. scott gets my beaner and rage shirts. monique can have my gold dick candle. anything else not listed goes to my sister. my debt goes to the man.
  • want to play basketball. do you wanna play with me?

  • 3-21-00 (22:32)
    "Women constitute half the world's population,
    perform nearly two-thirds of its work hours,
    receive one-tenth of the world's income,
    and own less than one-hundredth of the world's property.
    United Nations Report, 1980"
    -------
    gays can't get married
    i can't buy a cuban cigar
    less than a year ago i wasn't able to send any packages over 2 lbs. to Iraq

  • subbing went well. afterwards i went to a final review session.
  • after the review session i talked to marina at the art gallery.
  • i'm officially broke. vern and i went shopping for the last items (food) for our trip. this'll be super interesting.
  • should find out tomorrow about the job. should fail a final tomorrow. should get some action in the sack tomorrow, uh or not.
  • played basketball today. it's been really windy which sucks, but as long as the sun is out i'm happy.
  • you can't be in a bad mood while listening to stevie wonder. the guy just plain rocks.
  • our show today (the one we subbed) really rocked. i did the jazz, vern the indie rock. i found a couple of gems in the compilation section. our last couple shows have been really fun. i'm glad it hasn't lost its luster. some idiot told us to stop talking...we were talking about politics. that guy probably should die.
  • finals week is always a tad gay.
  • listening to air.
  • woke up at 5am today...this is all out of order, i know. at any rate...woke up early then i took a nap so i won't be going to sleep for a bit. i'll probably do myself a favor and study, or the like.
  • interviews always suck for me. the last one was pretty good though. the bad part for me is when they ask 'is there anything else you'd like to add or ask?'....uh, uhm, uh, i didn't learn to talk to other people until i was 16 so forgive me if i say "no."
  • there are so many cds i want to purchase. i got a phone bill today, those things always come at the damnedest times. i'm selling my soul, if there are any takers.
  • i want to stay in school for the next 10 years.
  • luke's page hasn't been working for me or vern...router must be down.
  • johnny's last update's title could have a double meaning....hmmmm.
  • i'm a dork who used to love computers. i was thinking to myself "what do i know more about than most people"....sports, certain areas of music, political science, and computers. the last one seems so contrary to who i think i am. i spend a lot of time on the computer, but it's usually to update this piece of garbage or get music. right now, for example, i'm downloading the last 77 mp3s off of www.kosmic.org - a free techno, ambient, electronica web site. at the same time when the gigahertz cpu comes out i know i'll google all over it.
  • brakes on - best song on the cd.
  • updated my spring y2M schedule.
  • you can kill a revolutionary, but you can't kill a revolution.
  • it might rain on saturday. gay. lay. bay. say. nay. pay. yay.
  • here's the problem, as it appears to me...to politicians it's all about maximization of votes. how do you maximize votes? by passing things backed by the people with the most concentrated interests. for example - big car makers have a lot to gain by having the gov't raise tariffs on foreign competition. who looses? the consumers, of course. that's you and me, and until we are able to be as organized as the special interest groups we'll continue to take in the rear. of course they maintain a certain level of happiness for us so we don't get too stirred up, but for the most part we're exploited. one way we can get around this is through the introduction of knowledge...this is something that jon will be learning a lot about because he'll be taking pol 175. this was the case in the tobacco industry. with the introduction of the proper knowledge and adequate backing of it the big interests have, for the most part, lost out. it's amazing that it took so long, but at the same time i find it amazing that it actually happened at all. need proof? there are commercials on the idiot box which state 'smoking kills' - tobacco is the only product that kills one in three customers...and so forth. it's all pretty interesting stuff. and that is why i'm a poli sci major - because this shit interests me.
  • shine on you crazy diamond
  • i still want a damn clipboard.
  • i got a positive comment on my rage against the machine t-shirt today. it was cool. it's the one that on the back says this.
  • if i get the library job next quarter my schedule could be really packed. i might also take a class on bike maintenance, that would be cool.
  • i drove a tractor, that's so funny. man what a nutty ride. freaking davis entertainment.
  • Gil Scott-Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.mp3...you'll have to rename the extension to ".mp3"
  • so they want to give reagan a medal of honor. of course they will. i think everyone knows how i feel about reagan.
  • there was a crazy woman in safeway today...she kept ranting about nuclear scientists and stuff...talking out loud. man it was sad.
  • i was at the art gallery today talking with marina and this guy who had requested an album to be played came in and looked over the book. he was puzzled. he looked down, up, around. then finally at marina and said 'you can change the music...it's not what i thought it was...my friends are laughing at me.' he picked a band called O.M.D., I've never heard of em before but it wasn't too bad. i looked at him in amazement then at marina and with a grin i said 'oh you probably wanted OMC. how bizarre.' i thought it was a good little pun type piece of mockery. you see, OMC is a completely different band with basically one 'hit' song called "how bizarre"...it was also bizarre that he was such a retard. i think johnny would be proud of me.
  • i got a live version of testify by rage against the machine and it rocks my left nut, but not quite as much as my right nut. nevertheless - it rocks.
  • haven't seen a movie in a while. movies that go through the motions are dumb. when i'm watching a movie i don't answer my phone.
  • 3-20-00 (22:03)
  • please, love me do.
  • called marina today.
  • subbing for some chick tomorrow morning at the station...6-9am.
  • tomorrow will be interesting.

  • 3-20-00 (01:19)

  • interview tomorrow. study with stacy tomorrow.
  • two final reviews on tuesday. one final wednesday. one final thursday. then i'm outta here.
  • hopefully i'm in the zone tomorrow. if not i'll just take some drugs to get into the zone. if that doesn't work i'll get drunk so i don't remember the day.

  • 3-19-00 (20:11)

  • interview tomorrow.
  • played basketball today. i had one good play, a tip in. other than that i sucked.
  • johnny is coming close to pulling "the whore" maneuver.
  • i'm talking to a "pagan" she says she practices in magic. asked her if she could cast a spell that would get me some action, but apparently there are rules against that. darn.
  • i can't see how my parents ever married. either time.
  • didn't call marina. not sure why.

  • 3-19-00 (02:28)

  • went shopping with vern for the hiking trip, that was cool - spent like 70 total between the two of us.
  • the bug ran really well today. just getting it started is sometimes not so great...may be my technique. in another couple hundred miles i'll change the oil again...because it's cheap, easy, fun and gets me in the mood to clean the carb.
  • over the summer i will hopefully get some money to put together a tool kit and adjust the valves, brakes, get a new sending unit, maybe even get the washer fluid working again. we'll see.
  • got money from my aunt so i'll be getting a rice cooker. thanks!
  • we went four-wheeling again today. although it's been warm so there wasn't much mud. that didn't stop us....we came across an open field and decided to explore it. we were driving along (jon, vern, and i) and found a tractor just sitting there. it was the kind with two big wheels in the back and then two smaller ones in the front. we've seen em before...they always leave them in the fields. so i ran up to it and checked it out. sure enough it had the keys in it. i turned on the lights and saw that it was out of fuel. i cranked it a bit and it didn't turn over. it had three pedals so i was pushing the left most thinking it was the clutch. then jon suggested looking for the choke. he found it and then he gave it a try. eventually he pushed really hard on the choke and then the engine turned over. then i figured out where the gas was  - it's a lever, not a pedal. and figured how to get into gear. then vern jumped on and we took it for a small spin with jon driving it in circles. my turn came up and i got a feel for it...the steering rocked big time. so i took it to a straight away and pushed it to the 14th out of 15 gears...then i pushed the gas lever all the way up and put it into the highest gear...it was going really fast for a tractor.  so i turned it around back to base and then vern gave it a try. it was super fun. jon got back into the driver's seat again and vern jumped off to watch from afar. jon thought it would be cool to see it's "four-wheeling capabilities" so we went into an irrigation ditch...a small one and then as we got deeper into it the front part (where the engine, and thus all the weight, is housed) stuck to the ground. we tried moving, but to no avail. then i got in the driver seat and revved it up really high and busted it into the highest gear...mud splashed everywhere, but it wouldn't budge. so jon brought the rover over and took out the towing chain and we tried to get it out that way, but it was way too stuck. i felt bad, but it won't be too hard in a week or so when the mud dries up.
  • i got super muddy and the whole thing was sooo much fun. it rocked. we'll probably try and find our way back another time.
  • johnny broke up with nicole. true story. hardcore.
  • played some basketball today. played better today, but i wasn't challenged in the speed way so it wasn't as humiliating. we lost.
  • might call marina tomorrow.
  • AC/DC is underrated. i don't know anyone, besides phil, who appreciates them. that's a shame.
  • i must say that tractors are fucking solidly built...great engines. i want a tractor engine in my bug.
  • like this only 40 years older

    like this only bigger
    3-18-00 (02:56)
  • today was quite possibly one of the best days ever. definitely the most social.
  • i talked to a total of six chicks. one i had met only once, briefly. another who is super dope and in my english class. and the other four were random chicks who i decided to strike up conversation with.
  • our show rocked big time nutsack. i did all the jazz (2 hrs.) and vern did all the indie rock (1.5 hrs.)...it rocked and worked really well. we each got compliments for our respective portions.
  • we were doing our show and two girls (one super hot the other not so much so) walked by the dj booth window in the hall. i waved because i was in the mood. a minute later they came back and i wave them into the dj booth while we were on the air. then we struck up a conversation with paige (hottie) and kristen (red head). we went off air and talked to them more...told them they should come by some other time when after spring break. paige was super fly. they were pretty ditzy, but we didn't plan on building life long relationships or anything.
  • the second social conquest of the day was talking to marina (english girl). i told her she should come by to mention an art contest her work is sponsoring. that was wednesday. she said she 'might.' well she did. she came by and made the announcement on the air. i showed her the kdvs music library, she was amazed (wait till she sees my dick!). at any rate...then she had to go back home (it was 3pm and she had been on campus since 8am because of finals and such). she gathered her bag and i said something like 'hey could i get your number?' she said sure so we exchanged numbers and of course e-mail addresses...i still feel gay asking for someone's e-mail address, so i didn't...she offered it without my solicitation. after reeling from my success i stood around for half a minute after she left the lobby. then i realized i hadn't given her something. i had gotten her an application for that short story contest (the bogart {not humphrey} contest). so i got it out of my backpack, but i knew i wouldn't be able to find her...there are about 3 ways to get out of lower freeborn, where the station is, and they're all pretty quick. so i ran down the hall hoping i chose the correct path and sure enough she came from around a corner...i think she tried to take the elevator but grew tired of waiting (lucky me). so i say: "hey, i got you this."..."oh, what is it?"..."it's the writing competition, you really should submit your stories."..."oh, i don't know. which one would i enter?"..."i really liked the first one, but you can enter up to 35 pages worth, so enter both of em."..."i don't know. i don't think they're that good anyway."..."oh come on, yes they are. i entered mine. you should do it, it's free, you've got nothing to lose"...."i don't want to compete against you"..."oh jeez, so you'll get first place and i'll get second place - i'm fine with that."..."ha ha, i'll get no-place (you had to see her say that, it was really perfect)"..."you should do it. just think about it."..."okay, maybe."
  • next was when i decided to get a sandwich...this was during the show, but vern was taking over. i had already played all the free jazz davis could handle, including a 20 minute tour de force by sonny rollins and a little bass guitar section preceded by gil scott heron's - "the revolution will not be televised"...if i get this on mp3 i will post it because it rocks so much. at any rate...i'm getting a sandwich made by someone i met last year through jordan and darren. she actually recognized me and said "aren't you darren and jordan's friend?"..."no, actually they're my friends, ha ha."..."he he he, funny. what was your name again?"..."chris, and you're erin right?"..."wow, good memory."...we continue along these lines i tell her she should listen to our show which is on as we speak she is blown away that such a hot man could have such a studly position such as radio dj...or something. then out of the blue she asks "do you have a girlfriend"..."uh, no, why?"..."oh, good, you're smart - they're nothing but trouble" (yea no shit, but it's not by choice that i lack a better half)..."hmmm, i gotta hear the story behind this."..."well i can't tell you right now" she looks to her left over at another guy who is preparing a sandwich and i say "oh i get it. well hey you should come down after you get off (work you sicko!) and i'll show you the station."..."i might do that."...i glance down at the sign which reads "do NOT ask for double meat we won't give it to you..." something like that...just to bug her i say sarcastically while looking down at the sign "hey could i have double meat?"..."okay, sure"..."uhm, i was just kidding, because of the sign..."..."oh i don't care, you can have it."..."cool, thanks."...those are the highlights.
  • four down two to go, but first a break. i played basketball...i had some really golden moments, but i sucked overall on defense. i have NO quickness whatsoever...not sure why because my dad is pretty quick and played soccer, but i suck in both categories. i'll have to learn a way to get around this problem if i'll succeed in basketball. i was hitting more shots than i used to...not at all a great percentage, but enough to be considered a decent shooter by street basketball terms.
  • i was at a restaurant with jon, monique, and vern. the waiter had a small scrape on her temple and i wondered how she got one there. the whole night she was a little mechanical with us so i wanted to open her up a bit. so when she returned with the check i asked how she got it..."oh i don't know it just kinda came up two of them together"..."hmmm, that's weird getting two in the same place"..."yea it is a bit"..."it's just weird to get a scrape there i wonder how you got it."..."yea what makes it worse is that it's on an old chickenpox scar"...then we talked about chickenpox etc. after she left monique kinda brought it up that she somewhere in the dialogue she had said it was a zit....pimple, etc... i felt really bad, the whole time i thought we were talking about a mystery scrape. everyone at the table, but me, had heard her say they were two zits...i felt like a complete dick.
  • the last one wasn't quite as bad, but not nearly as good as the first few. i was buying some ice cream at safeway late at night and a see this chick in her early 30s in line waiting for a checker. i had just picked up some voter registration forms for anyone who hasn't already registered. i asked her if she voted last tuesday. she said no. "well here, you can register - it's really easy."..."oh, i'm registered i just didn't vote."..."oh, that's disappointing...why not?"..."just cuz"..."i see." no use going past that...
  • oh and i called up a couple random directory girls too. nothing too interesting except the one prank call i made. i saw a girl's name in the directory was "jenny moneymaker" vern and jon thought i should call her and talk to her about that...i said no, but then came up with the idea of playing pink floyd's "money" over the phone to her. i called and she answered so then jon played the song...which is just like the dire straits version...with the falling coins noise and the cash register type sound then the vocals "money.........get away" there's a long pause. so anyway...he plays the song and she answers the phone, then about 7 seconds into the phone call roger says "money...." then i pick up the phone and yell "maker!" and hang up. it was unplanned, but seemed to work. then jon or vern had the idea to call her back and see if she understood the joke. so i called and said i was looking through the directory and found her name and couldn't resist...we chatted a bit. i asked if she got shit in grade school for her name she said "they'd make fun of me and then i'd cry"..."oh i'm really sorry, now i feel like a complete dick...i'm sorry."...."don't worry about it, it happens" we went on talking about school and such for quite a time. then i asked her if she was free tonight. she said no that she had a final tomorrow and was studying...so i asked her what class and her major, etc. she wants to be a news anchor, she's a second year psych major, she likes michael jackson...i found out a lot. then i said good luck tomorrow and she said have fun tonight...i said i'd try.
  • overall a very eventful day.
  • in 7 mins i'll be finished downloading 'the revolution will not be televised'
  • tomorrow vern and i go shopping for supplies.
  • so my advisors say i should call marina sunday night.
  • this update took an hour.
  • updated movies list.
  • oh we rented a movie and i was going to redeem a free movie token i had. so i go up to dustin, who is the checker. he's the kind of checker with a stud in his nose, eye, neck, everywhere, but that's fine. vern looks at a blow up doll of yoda and says 'if i was working here that would freak me out.' i say while pointing to a pad of paper "if i were here this AOL bullshit would piss me off"...the aol deal is if you sign up with aol then you get a free 10 dollar gift certificate with blockbuster. so i ask dustin "do they make you pitch this shit?"..."yea they do, but i don't do it."...i look at vern and then dustin "that's cool, i wouldn't either." then he leads us to the edge of the counter where he can put the tape so the detector won't go off. he places the tape with the receipt on top of the counter and looks at me and says "this is due back on monday" as he says it he taps the tape with his index finger...i look down and see him taping my free vido rental token...i look up at him and say "hey thanks man"...he didn't charge me for the rental and he gave the token back to me for later use...that's dope. we need more people like that.
  • this day pretty much fucking rocked.
  • Gil Scott-Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised...you'll have to rename the extension to .mp3
  • dsl was pretty dope...jon wanted a song, but we were trying to get out the door so he just downloaded it in a minute...litterally and we listened to it while it was downloading...that's when you know it's fast...you can listen to it while downloading...faster than realtime. crazy shit.
  • forgot the best part of the first encounter (with paige and kristen) they both were wearing green and noticed that we weren't. so, it being st. patty's day and all, paige pinched us. kristen said she doesn't pinch - she hugs...damn being a dj can rock.

  • 3-17-00 (03:24)

  • okay so the democrats pass the minimum wage increase bill. of course the republicans want something too...it's logrolling, so they passed a tax cut. fucking retarded if you remember my saying so, but i'll live with it because, after all, tax cuts are supposed to help everyone.
  • well i find out that the tax cuts are targeted towards small business...it provides over 45 billion in tax 'relief'...real estate cuts, gift tax cuts, and more - mostly along those lines...seems to benefit rich people more than those who need it. i don't own real estate - because i'm not rich. i'm not getting huge gifts - because i don't know any rich people. it did, though, pass some tax cuts on health insurance for self-employed which is good and allowed for more pension portability (so you can change jobs and keep the same pension plan easier). over all it wasn't as horrible as it could be, but, as usual, it has the bullshit in there designed to keep the rich republicans (sorry for the redundancy) happy.
  • tired.

  • Doug Ose - my (republican) representative
    3-17-00 (02:26)
  • bind, pickle, conundrum, predicament, quandary.
  • screw screws. i never use screws in computers, it's just dumb.
  • philosophy is funny. bad funny. that which is funny is misunderstood.
  • tell me when you find out why i'm here, then i'll get excited.
  • i shouldn't be awake, i have people to do and things to meet tomorrow.

  • 3-17-00 (00:01)

  • dj shadow rocks.
  • fuck icq fuck computers.
  • played basketball today. one-on-one. beat him the first time and lost the last two times. i had some moments though.
  • getting more and more icq people by the hour.
  • why hip-hop sucks in `96..."it's the money"

  • 3-16-00 (00:42)

  • george harrison is definitely my favorite beatle.
  • there's something about synchronicity...everything comes together sometimes. life's funny like that.
  • last day of class was today. that's cool. done with all my papers, just two finals to go.
  • more importantly - with spring comes new friends. every spring it's the same thing, i'm so weird like that. at any rate that's all i'll say about it for now.
  • i should get lots of stuff done tomorrow.
  • have an interview on monday for the library reserves position. my fingers are crossed.
  • i'm sharing over 930 mp3s now. it's getting pretty crazy. a lot comes from the beastie boys.
  • oh right, so i finished my paper at 10:30 and that was after taking an hour nap. then i revised my first story. then i went to class and got the mack on. i wore my rage shirt - something about it is very empowering. i remember the first time i was hit by a car i was wearing the rage shirt and it didn't phase me at all. rage is the shit.
  • so we got out of english 30 mins early which was cool and i hung out talked with a chick and admired more. i sound like a male-chauvinist. i guess that's bad. at any rate spring certainly brings the best out of people. that could sound bad too. darn. oh, in my poli sci paper i used the phrase "deeper probing"...it was late and the phrase fit so i went with it. gotta have fun somehow.
  • weeding injuries plague my body. money burns hole in my wallet.
  • i gotta play mad ball tomorrow. it might actually rain.
  • friday we have our show, but it's going to be 3.5 hours...we're covering for someone. that'll be long. 2 hours of jazz, yea.
  • the poll above has space for comments...that rocks and i didn't even know about it. jon.
  • i wonder what the secret is to getting into the groove more often.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated papers list. badly, but i did.
  • i'm going to enter both my stories into that writing contest i hear so much about. give it a whirl.

  • 3-15-00 (07:51)

  • third wind came and went with some jumping.
  • this is all i've got to say to you woman - you're time is gonna come.
  • gonna make you pay for that great big hole in my heart.
  • i'm reaching the end of this gay paper. god i just ramble on...good song
  • i love the segues in led zeppelin I...that's when albums were meant to be full albums. zeppelin knew how to make an album rather than a bunch of singles.

  • 3-15-00 (05:25)

  • just two hours and some change later and i'm about 4 pages through. done with my break...had two nice ham sandwiches...good french bread, avocado, tomato, mmmmm, damn good eating.
  • goal is to finish everything by 10. i'd get a nap that way. yip. might not happen.
  • second wind is come and gone. can i get a whoop whoop?
  • nevermind.
  • your time is gonna come...holy shit what a freaking epic song. zeppelin rocks!
  • i think page is god. honestly. so many great riffs, acoustic and electric king. simple as that. he's god, i've determined that. and if saying 'godfuck' doesn't get me into hell then maybe this will.
  • okay maybe john bonham is god.
  • no it's probably john paul jones.
  • or possibly robert plant. but wait, hold it, they're all in the same band? fucking fucking fucking fucking shit. beastie boys are hanging on by such a thin thread. godfuck!
  • how many more times!?!?
  • what a debut album.

  • 3-15-00 (03:05)

  • okay i think i know how my paper is supposed to go now.
  • it's all about domestic politics...still. same theory that explains why we started the piece of shit is the reason why we keep it around.
  • 8 hours. 10 pages. 1 revision of story. yippee. can't waste time here.
  • 3-15-00 (01:28)

  • as is usual form with me i haven't started.
  • the poll i have this time is proving to be interesting. 1 for education - obviously me. 2 for media...hmmm. chicken or the egg. did the media start to feed us crap first or did we start requesting crap first. if we were bettered educated, like most of the people i know, we wouldn't watch that bullshit...i know i don't. i know most of my smart friends don't. food for thought i guess. read "out of order" by thomas e. patterson...very insightful, pretty thorough look into how the media sucks it up big time.
  • why haven't we dropped the embargo against cuba? i'm trying to figure that out right now. i'm also trying to expand it into 10 pages using one of the 'theories' we learned in class. here's the answer - we fucking stubborn retards. we're not even greedy marxist theory bastards who would rape and pillage the cubans for all they've got. nope instead we just watch others exploit them and their market. within ten years we'll realize what morons we are, mostly because big business will make us realize. i'm thinking philip morris will lobby for cuba to be opened soon enough. not sure if they have or not yet, but they should. they could make a killing over there. ha ha.
  • back to the paper.
  • herbie hancock rocks.
  • oh the answer to the tough question "what do all these words have in common...sassafras, read, free, great, etc." - they can all be typed with just your left hand. dumb i know.

  • 3-14-00 (22:42)

  • when i was a freshman in high school everyone called me redneck, it sucked. i can't imagine being called a nigger your whole life, it would suck more.
  • i got sunburned while working.
  • paper is moving right along. i have a girlfriend. i bought a new house. i'm getting straight A's. yea right.
  • luke called last night, that was surprising, pleasantly.
  • this guy on napster has seriously everything the beatles ever made, both while together and during their solo careers...7.6 gigs, about half is beatles related shit. crazy.
  • speaking of beatles - marina had the title of her story as a "here comes the sun"...my last story was "revolution" and on jeopardy last night the final jeopardy answer was "michelle" all by the beatles. the jeopardy one was "which figure skater was named after a beatles tune..." or something to that effect. it was the only question i got correct the whole night.
  • it's a good thing i don't own any beatles cds, they'd wreak havoc on my rating system.
  • talked to sarah (phil's old neighbor) today, that was cool. during 3/4s of the conversation i didn't know if it was her or leah (they're twins) so it was kinda funny like that.

  • 3-14-00 (20:24)

  • the next 24 hours will be extremely exciting in so many ways.
  • i have a 10-12 page paper due tomorrow. i have my last two classes tomorrow. i have a revision of my first story due tomorrow. i have to put the mack down tomorrow and get a phone number.
  • played basketball today. it rocked, we won. played well as a team. i think i'm better after not playing for a while. i'm also better if i don't play with the same people all the time. when i used to play with the same three people it got boring and i started to suck (or maybe they got better). when i play different people it's better. kinda met this guy from across the street. i think he's the only black person who lives within 3 blocks. davis is gay like that.
  • less than 16 hours before i need to finish a bitch load of work.
  • when i get frustrated i say "god fuck"...i think i might go to hell. i'm also not sure where i got this from. i think, oddly enough, it's because i want to avoid saying "goddamnit"...i don't think that makes sense. i also don't think goddamnit is one word. i also think i shouldn't care too much.
  • i also think we should drop our embargo on cuba. paper forthcoming.
  • made 35 bucks pulling weeds. i got a lot of sun so i'll be tired as shit around 5am.
  • since i'm so rich i bought a new backpack. i just can't stand my old one anymore. it was good to me while it lasted, and i might even use it once in a while, but the bottom sucks and it only has one small pocket which leads to quite the mess.
  • i smell like an athlete. or like someone who gets a lot of sex.
  • napster was at 1million songs today. holy schmikeys

  • 3-14-00 (01:03)

  • i'm a funny guy. funny queer, not funny ha ha.
  • updated movies list.
  • played some basketball today, it rocked. my skills be rusty, but let's stop talking about white trash. get it? Rusty - white trash name, ha ha. shut up.
  • i've posted my stories (look under english 5f), in all their (uhm) glory. they're the unedited, unproofread versions so don't tell me about the missing comma on line 24 because then i'll have to break your legs.
  • made it so that the mirror site link above will open to a new window...a huge feat for such an html amateur.
  • i've almost always been able to see certain films, and even movies as being great because of their artistic merits, but i haven't always been able to place what exactly makes them so good. i think taking english 5f has changed that because i've had to look at my own stories and other peoples' stories in a critical way.
  • english 5f is probably one of the most fun classes (poli sci 5 being another) i've taken in college.
  • i'm way behind in my movie quest, but the summer will offer many long nights to catch up.
  • got a new poll...one vote per person please.
  • my second story got workshopped today by our group of six. two out of the five others really really liked it. two others really liked it. the other seemed indifferent. the end is a bit weird and it helps if you have knowledge in a certain area of music. i won't give it away. at any rate the first and secon one are both up. the first is 'different like everyone else' and the second is 'revolution.' i don't think the teacher fully understood the second, but i still got a decent grade. best part of that class is - NO final, yip yip.
  • had 80 visitors last week...that's a shit load, a bitch load even.
  • weeding tomorrow. i love slave work. this country was founded on the work of slaves and chain gangs. i love america.
  • i want taxes to increase.
  • learned about the transition from a socialist economy to a privatist one...pretty crazy. it's no wonder russia is down in the dumps. learn me more about this if you can.
  • rat salad is an excellent song by black sabbath. check it out.
  • i'm a rich guy. i've decided that since i'm a rice, fruit and ham diet (all of which are really cheap or free) i'm going to buy important things like a new backpack. hey, it's better than CDs (at least to parental types).
  • i'm a math retard and a language loser. i guess that leaves art. oh i have no artistic abilities at all. i really wonder what i'm going to be doing in the long term.
  • march madness begins soon, but i'm completely out of the loop. it's zona, stanford, duke and someone else. other than that i don't know. all i remember are the glory days of ucla...they're slotted to make it i think. god i love those guys. oh and then there's the old LMU run with bo kimble (who was later drafted by the clippers  - oh what shitty luck they ALWAYS have had...they're the frucking raiders of basketball!)... right bo kimble and hank gathers who died on the court because of a heart condition. bo kimble shot his free throws in memory of hank with his left hand...boy was kimble on a fucking run! he rocked so much back then. that team made it to the elite 8 i think, it was crazy. everyone wanted them to win. the madness ended there. who cares who won.
  • then with ucla we won the national championship and i was in a fucking ymca youth and government meeting. it sucked. i missed them coming back with tyus edney's mad dash across the court in 4 seconds to win the game. the stuff dreams are made of!
  • there was a time when i was an athlete. fabrizo m. i forget how to spell his last name. he was this studly 6'2" italian running machine and he was on our track team. he rocked in the 2 mile. at any rate he wanted to run the 800m (a REAL man's race) and so coach latham (r.i.p.) let him. the second lap was the interesting part. he was in second, but just behind a jamacian runner from the other team (LA high). now LA high had an enrollment of something like 3500 students - no shit! but their track team was only like 20 people. it was sick. ours was 120. at any rate fabrizo puts on the moves on this 400/800m runner with about 300m to go. i was a freshman and thought fabrizo was the shit, so i naturally saw this as a good sign. now i look at it as gutsy at best. with about 250m to go fabrizo is 2m ahead. yee haw! i look to latham who is stone cold and i say/ask "he's gonna win, right?" he says "nope, that other guy is a 400 runner, he's gonna lose by at least 5 yards"... now latham may have been a runner for as long as i've been alive and a coach for even longer, but i know that there's no way that's going to happen so i say "i think he'll win." he says "i'll bet you a coke he doesn't"... "you're on"...with 125m to go the guy from LA high (i can still picture his face) pulls ahead without effort and dusts the italian running machine...the same guy who in practice would run 200m intervals in under 24...over and over and over. he lost by about 5m and i bought latham a coke.
  • old people who still have their head on straight are really dope. i dig them. i make it a point to listen to them too. because only now that i'm out of high school can i look back and realize all the things i didn't do that i should have. (going to prom isn't one of them). so for all you old people that read this crap tell me what i can avoid regretting. learn me something good.

  • 3-12-00 (20:42)

  • i can't remember the last time i listened to the radio.
  • fat essay due wednesday, did some research. it may be a long two days.
  • saw a really nice bug today. i think it was owned by the same girl i talked to outside of my bank.
  • that's a cool thing about davis...it's small enough to see strangers again without it being an out of the ordinary occurrence.
  • it's also small enough so that when you see city council meetings they're talking about things just down the street from you.
  • played basketball today, that was fun.
  • it was legitimately hot today.
  • spring break is rapidly approaching. should be fun. need to buy supplies.

  • 3-12-00 (00:34)

  • updated movies list.

  • 3-11-00 (01:47)

  • I've reached new lows in my life.
  • At eleven o'clock tonight I randomly picked names from the student directory and called people up. It was really fun, but it further proves the level of sadness my situation has gotten to. I would say something to the effect of "Hey this is Chris did you want to go out for a quick bite to eat?"...then they'd either ask who i was or just pretend to know me and say they're tired or something. then i'd say "remember Chris from English class, etc."...then they'd be completely perplexed and say i have no idea who you are or something to that effect. then i'd say "this is give name here right?" they'd say yes, then i'd say "hmmm, didn't you tell me to call you in english class yesterday?"...or something to that effect. they might say something like i don't take english or you must have the wrong number or something to that effect. then i'd say "hmmm, that's really bizarre. you must think i'm really weird or something. i'm really sorry, i guess i have the wrong number" then they'd either be silent or, if they are cool, say oh no - don't worry about it ha ha ha. then i'd say "well did you want to go out and get something to eat anyway?" then they'd either be really silent and i'd say "ha ha, just kidding don't worry about it, sorry bye." or they'd laugh and say no i'm fine. then i'd say "ha ha, okay, sorry about that again." the best one was the first one, but i didn't ask her out because i hadn't gotten it down yet.
  • the most interesting one was the last one which went something like this:

  • me "raquel?"
    her "yes"
    me "hey, it's chris. i was wondering if you wanted to grab a quick bite to eat."
    her silence "uhm, who is this?"
    me "it's chris. you know, from english class"
    her long pause "uh"
    me "trying to piece it together? chris. english class. you told me to call you tonight. i'm sorry if this is too late."
    her pause "uhm, hmmm."
    me "i'm sorry. you're raquel, right?"
    her "yea that's me. i'm sorry, i'm just trying to get oriented here. i'm raquel, but i don't think i know you"
    me "really?"
    her "describe me"
    me holy shit, what do i do now "uhm you're 5'7" with dark hair..." pause
    her "anything else?"
    me "i'm not really good at description"
    her "what length is my hair?"
    me "medium length, about to the shoulders"
    her "oh, that's not me" duh "i have really long hair"
    me "hmmm, this is 555-1515, right?"
    her "yes, and i'm raquel. which really isn't a..."
    me "yea it's not a common name, that's really weird"
    her laugh "no it's not common at all, that's strange. well good luck finding her"
    me "yea thanks. hey you wouldn't want to go out anyway would you?"
    her short pause and uncomfortable chuckle
    me "i'm just kidding, don't worry about it. well, sorry."
    her "yea, well i hope you find her"
    me "yea, thanks."
    her "well, give me a call if you find her or something to tell me how it works out."
    me laugh "okay, thanks, and sorry again. bye."
    her "bye"
  • i don't know anyone quite like me. this is probably because most people like me are in asylums of some kind.
  • i can't wait to get my e-mail this week from friends and the like "chris, you're a fucking freak"..."chris you sound lonely"...please spare me your opinions/constructive criticisms.
  • i'm in the playoffs for basketball now. yippee, my alternative life is getting so exciting.
  • didn't see empire of the sun. because i planned on watching it with the ever-busy jon.
  • maybe i should reverse the way i update my page. most recent at the bottom vs. at the top. what do you think?
  • tom morello is revolutionary.

  • 3-10-00 (22:34)

  • another friday come and gone.
  • might watch empire of the sun tonight.
  • might not.
  • it's hard to change the way you are if you are surrounded by the same people all the time and do the same things all the time. i should move somewhere.
  • e-mail is annoying. i can't remember the last time i got an e-mail that was cool. real mail is even worse because it's always either a bill or an advertisement. oh, and then i get shit for getting so much mail. besides the fruit i get in the mail from my grandmother all i get is bills or junk mail.
  • i have more reference books than anyone i know, but i feel like i don't know very much.
  • i can really see how people get so bored and fed up that they get drunk or high every weekend.

  • 3-9-00 (23:58)

  • updated movies list. makes it 53. behind schedule
  • show is tomorrow.
  • i sure have written a lot in the last 9 days.
  • paper worked out. i guess i should post it. i've written a shitload of papers. i just noticed this. updated the papers list.
  • megadeth is solid.
  • i think we should have the mentor - apprentice system again. i'd like a mentor. it's so much easier to learn stuff that way. internship just means slavery. apprentice means learn from me while doing the menial work. but that's just my skewed view.
  • i need to repair my backpack for real. every time i sew it up the hole opens up again, but wider. need to buy a fat patch and then do it that way.

  • 3-9-00 (13:05)

  • time to finish this sucker up. 2 hours at most.
  • Clinton is the bomb:

  • WASHINGTON (AP) - President Clinton rallied Democrats to support a
    higher minimum wage on Wednesday and vowed to veto a Republican plan
    that would delay the increase and link it to $122.7 billion in tax
    cuts. "If Republican leaders send me a bill that makes workers wait
    for another year for their full pay raise and holds the minimum wage
    hostage for risky tax cuts that threaten our prosperity, I'll veto
    it," said Clinton. "It is time to stop nickel and diming American
    working people out of the money that they need and deserve," the
    president said. The GOP wants to enact a $1 increase over three years
    and couple it with $122.7 billion in tax cuts - a move that
    resurrects portions of the Republicans' $792 billion tax cut package
    that Clinton vetoed last year.
  • reagan said - "they still won't believe us, but we are going to balance this budget by 1984" ...later he said "i did not come here to balance the budget - not at the expense of my tax-cutting and defense programs. if we can't do it in 1984, we'll have to do it later." go reagan the retard!
  • i'll be writing now.
  • winamp 2.61 is out - yippee.
  • 3-9-00 (02:34)
  • my server is sucking so much today. not letting me upload shit. it sucks.
  • we lit farts tonight.
  • i've started my paper. it's on what determines presidential greatness. to my surprise grant was not placed in the bottom five. - harrison, harding, pierce, johnson, and last was buchanan - he was the only bachelor....hmmmmm
  • i don't have mountain dew and the coke isn't hitting me yet. tired sucks.
  • i've got 14 hours before it's due anyway.
  • oh clinton was number 21 ...right in the middle. he'll move up later when the people put things in perspective. i mean he'll be surrounded by the bush retards, then he'll definitely move up. bush will cut taxes and our economy will go to hell then the historians will think better of clinton. bush jr. has been called "reaganesque"...this is a bad thing, esp. when he thinks we have a surplus. i can't wait to see the debt rise to over 8 trillion. it's only at 4.5 right now. but by the time bush is done it'll be up to 8 trillion, if we hire him for 8 years like we did reaganomics boy. here's a math question...you make 100 bucks a year and you spend 120 bucks a year...what should you do? lower your income (taxes) and increase spending was the answer reagan came up with. but hell, he was a really great guy and people trusted him. it's easy to trust someone who doesn't know your ass from a hole in the wall because even if he wanted to butt rape you he couldn't figure out how. so in the context (post watergate, vietnam, etc.) reagan was good.
  • i should write my damn paper.
  • "go" by moby is good.
  • reading over the week's material i've come to the conclusion that i should listen to myself a little more often.
  • my return key has started to stick once every 206 hits. or somewhere in that area. it's the oldest part of my computer. it's been with me since the beginning.

  • 3-8-00 (20:50)

  • random guy passed jon and i and said "what's up guys"...it was cold outside and he was eating ice cream. he was overweight and had a funny walk. not as funny as jon's gimpy limp, though. i said "hey what's up" both  parties continued in their opposite directions.
  • talked to the same chick in english class. that makes like 5 classes in a row now. i guess we're officially dating. next week i might propose. i'm sad for even taking the joke that far.
  • talked to another chick because she was coming out of my bank and had a bug. it was obviously an older model, but i asked what year. she said "uhm 74...it's kinda dirty right now, he he." she was cute. i walked closer and said "oh no, it looks real nice. about as nice as me in your pants." actually i said "oh no, it looks fine. mine has about three colors and i've never washed it. hey where do you get your work done? the reason i ask is because i'd like to find a reliable place before anything bad happens" she said "oh well my dad is a mechanic so i've never had to have it fixed." me - "oh wow, that must be really nice." her - smile "ha ha, yep...well good luck with yours" me - "oh so that wasn't enough foreplay for you? you know in my day we just clocked girls like you over the head and dragged them home." actually i said "oh yea thanks. bye."
  • amazingly enough those were the highlights of my day.
  • i have an 8 page paper due tomorrow, it should be fun. i have one page done. no research done, but uh well, i've got books on the presidency so i'll just use random info from those.
  • i'll probably end up posting my first story after the second draft is done, this is despite my better judgement not to.
  • gotta write.

  • 3-8-00 (04:26)

  • my story is getting really crazy now. i know people aren't going to like it. i don't care.
  • i'm done with the story and it certainly is wacko at the end. it's much better suited for film.
  • the end of my story was inspired by a beatles song.

  • 3-8-00 (02:55)

  • writer's block
  • if i ever had a kid i'd be disappointed if he weren't perfect and i'd be disappointed when i wasn't the perfect dad. i'm never having kids. same applies to girlfriends.
  • it's easy to be disappointed when you always expect perfection
  • the beastie boys are perfect. so is 'stairway to heaven', 'warning', 'to live is to die', 'in bloom', magnolia, boogie nights, pulp fiction, any joe montana era 49ers team, 'car thief', 'so what'cha want', et al.
  • "one of these days i'm going to get organizized"
  • i wonder how many followers i would have if i said i was jesus.
  • i think luke should have a mp3 on his site to download on a weekly basis.
  • the only reason i eat pig is because it has one stomach and eats its own shit. anything short of that and i don't eat it.
  • when i have money again i'll: goto more concerts, eat out at new places more, invest in the "pork - the other white meat" campaign, get a girlfriend buy her a diamond ring and then breakup, buy a shitload of cds, buy more vinyl (esp beatles), buy shit for friends, buy a new backpack, invest in something other than the "pork - the other white meat" campaign, pay off debt, buy a gangload (this is more than a shitload) of blank cds, buy dress shoes, take an auto class, take a bike maintenance class, buy a brain that can spell, work on my car, give 5 bucks to a hobo, buy a van and live in it for a year, buy some time, buy a clipboard, and buy all the answers.
  • 619 quality well-chosen mp3s

  • 3-7-00 (23:55)

  • story due tomorrow.
  • paper due the next day. tomorrow will be an all-nighter.
  • got 8.5 lbs of ham today. nice.
  • updated movies list.
  • got nothing to lose so i'm pissing on the third rail
  • if i ate spinach they'd call me spinach d
  • updated mp3 list. both the winamp generated one and the word version.
  • i assume everyone voted because if you didn't then i would spit on you after i tear your head from your neck. or something.
  • internet explorer can really suck it sometimes.
  • 3-7-00 (02:45)
  • updated movies list.
  • this email was mailed to all of my POL 106 class (about 200 people) from the teacher:

  • Dear Presidency Students,

    As I announced in class, those students who currently have three or more
    finals scheduled for Thursday, March 23, may take the final for POL 106 on

    Wednesday, March 22,
    10:30-12:30, Soc Sci 273.

    This is the conference room in the first floor of the political science
    department.  It can only accomodate a limited number of students, so
    if you don't have three finals scheduled for the 23rd, please take the
    final at the regular time slot on March 23, 1:30-3:30, Soc Sci 1100.
    (You may also, of course, take the final at the regular time even if you
    have three finals that day.)  And if you have a fourth final scheduled for
    the
    alternative time slot, please see me and we'll try to work something out.

    Mark Brown

  • nothing out of the ordinary....this is what one student replied (also to the whole class):

  • How does this effect our plans for buttsex???
    The name of the person who has sent you this e-mail is :

    JEFFREY D. MANKEY

    This person sends you their warmest holiday regards/greetings/wishes.
    If you would like a DELIZONE E-MAIL SIGNATURE to be added to your e-mails,
    visit us at http://www.delizone.com/ !!  Please take our famous survey!

  • one minute later another email was sent by the same student:

  • Sorry. My roommate was screwing around on my computer and wrote that. He
    didn't realize it was for school.
    The name of the person who has sent you this e-mail is :

    JEFFREY D. MANKEY

    This person sends you their warmest holiday regards/greetings/wishes.
    If you would like a DELIZONE E-MAIL SIGNATURE to be added to your e-mails,
    visit us at http://www.delizone.com/ !!  Please take our famous survey!

  • funny thing is that on the first day of class someone asked "will there be any section in this class?" and the teacher replied "no there will not be any sex in this class"...say it out loud if you don't get it.
  • today was more fun that usual.
  • got a haircut. talked to a girl. went four wheeling. stole a 'yes on 22' poster and melted it.
  • checked the results of the poll so far and i'm damn surprised. first there are 15 votes already, which includes one by me. second you people are more liberal than i thought. i'm down. only one person voted to do nothing.
  • this is pretty cool. what's really interesting about that is the fact that the people under 18 gave it the highest scores. weird. maybe there is hope for the younger generation?!
  • i like how woody allen uses the camera when to people are facing each other and talking....the sweeping...i like it more than cuts...in most cases.
  • tired.

  • 3-5-00 (21:20)

  • commercial radio ruins music. it cheapens music by playing the 'hits' several times a day. it makes the music industry even more vicious. it makes good songs 'played out.' commercial radio is over-produced. one reason howard stern is such a success is because he's raw and unproduced. people like it when the DJs screw up a little. people like hearing new stuff, as long as it's good. there is plenty of good stuff out there. so why major stations are on a rotation of a few hundred songs is beyond me. listen to one station 24 hrs in a row and you'll hear the same songs over and over. it doesn't take a genius to figure this out. play a good song once every other day - AT MOST. if i hear a great song a few times on the radio then i want to buy the album, but if i hear it everyday then there is no reason for me to buy the album...and if you play it enough i won't want to listen to it anymore. commercial radio makes it HARDER to sell albums for most artists. commercial radio makes music cheap. if you listen to KDVS for one week straight you probably will have only a few songs repeated a few times. you won't hear "baby one more time" 6 times a day. in fact you won't hear it at all because britney spears is a produced piece of garbage.
  • in commercial radio the biggest staff person is the producer...if that doesn't say something i don't know what does. there should be a general manager to make sure things run smoothly and a music director to make sure plenty of music comes through the station...other than that and a few other smaller directors (publicity, sponsorship, etc.) there should just be a bunch of DJs. DJs make the station, not the producer. in commercial radio a producer tells the DJs what to play, the producer oversees everything, the producer deciphers the latest demographics and ratings charts. all that is bullshit, it's should be about the music. playing lots of good music. playing a variety of music. playing local music. commercial radio is too packaged, too prepared, too gift wrapped, nicely arranged according to what the demographics show YOU will like. we know what you like because our computers say this is what you like. you are, after all, just a white male between the ages of 18-22. therefore we know you'll like the new korn and powerman 5000 albums. so we'll shove them down your throat. in between songs you've heard 5 times today we'll play commercials of a man yelling like he's on PCP about the new monster truck rally in town. he'll get you so excited you'll pick up your cell phone and buy tickets.
  • fuck commercial radio. i urge you all to stop listening to it. listen to the local public classical radio station. not only will you find inner peace, you'll be raging against the machine.
  • i worked for roberta today - pulling weeds. very hard. $25 bucks richer though. i'm going to buy me some new nikes! or not.
  • vote march 7th.
  • sometimes i'll look back at the past in awe. how could we ever consider blacks and women second class citizens? i'm glad we're so enlightened now. we've come so far. vote yes on 22.
  • if you don't sense the sarcasm or even know what prop 22 is then you need to live in china.
  • it's been 3 months and i still have no job. sad.
  • here's something i kinda changed my mind about lately - kid has exceptional basketball, baseball, football, etc. talent in high school. gets an offer to get a free ride in college. however he can't get an 800 on the SAT. therefore he can't accept the scholarship. i used to think 'hey if he can't get an 800 on the freaking SAT then he's too retarded to go to college.' the SAT is a retarded test and i feel that anyone should be able to get an 800. however i also feel that anyone should be able to get married to whomever they want...but alas most of the states in this fair nation do not agree...back to the subject. if someone gets the opportunity to goto college then they should be able to...regardless of their SAT score.
  • what makes the current system of standards any better than one based on physical ability. say athletes ruled the world and made their own Standardized Athleticism Test...if you couldn't high jump over 4' and run the mile in under 8 mins then you couldn't go to college. i hear voices round the world yelling in protest "that's ridiculous!"...i'm not saying one is better than the other - i think they're both retarded. my point is we shouldn't require that kids with great athletic talent also have a score on a culturally biased and outdated test. fuck the SAT. fuck the ACT. everyone should get a college education. some of the best athletes in the country are on the streets robbing people because their one passion, the one thing they were great at was taken away because they couldn't pass a test. it's bad for them and it's bad for society. it's a good thing Einstein didn't have to run a mile in under 8 mins and it's a good thing Jordan was able to pass that stupid test. rather than making more hurdles and hoops for people to jump over and through, we should be making it easier for people to excel at whatever it is they're good at.
  • i'm not saying we should give people spots in college, but if duke university wants to pay for someone's education - fucking let them.
  • people should watch one movie every week. there's always time. i can't think of many ways to better spend three hours than to watch magnolia or hoop dreams or the like.
  • i wish i knew how to love.
  • i need to write my story by tomorrow.
  • i need to write a 8 page paper by thursday.
  • i shall start.

  • Vern and Me...those shirts kick ass.
    3-4-00 (22:45)
  • updated movies list.
  • it's amazing how screwed this world is. but what churchill said about democracy i must say about capitalism - it's the best system except for all the others.
  • what's really sad is that some might see a film like hoop dreams or taxi driver or american beauty or the like and not be the least bit moved by the themes. they'll just think the characters are interesting or the plot was good then take nothing lasting from the movie. to watch great films like that and not learn anything, for your outlook to not be changed at all, is very sad. it's like reading an autobiography of someone like MLK or ghandi or malcolm x without taking anything from it. not a lesson learned, nothing. sad sad sad.
  • what the country needs, i think, is to have confidence in each other again. in the 50s and early 60s people felt like government could be used to make a change. political efficacy was at a high. now people don't feel like they can make a difference and so they don't vote, don't participate, etc. i think this is bad. people's political psychology needs to be changed. that's the first step. a good education system should do this...which is of course my major gripe..."The foundation of any state is the education of its youth"...in more ways than one.
  • so what are you doing to change all this? i love this question. if i ask my roommates what they're doing to change the world they'd all have a fairly small list, if any. does this make my doing only a few things okay? of course not. if they all do 1 thing each to change the problems then is my doing 2 things good enough? probably not, but of course it sure makes me feel better. it's like asking your classmate whether they've started studying for the test yet. when they say no then you feel better about your having not started either. the point is - set standards for yourself, otherwise your success and accomplishments become contingent upon the relative success of others. political betterment is one area where things should not be seen as being 'relative.' in sports you can get away with it, in academics you can get away with it, but when it comes to political structure or politics in general, nothing should be held as relative. if it is then we can rest assured because at least our ghettos aren't as bad as those in south and central america.
  • my point? set expectations for yourself. if you're fine with just voting once a year or so, then do that - it's the LEAST you can do. if you decide to give 50 percent of your income to CCC, AFL-CIO, the green party, or whatever other organization you feel is doing something positive, then go ahead; it's a far more lofty goal than me, but all the more power to you. if you want to start a local chapter of students for a free tibet, or start a beach cleaning group, go right ahead, we need more people like you. if you want to suggest a bunch of ideas for change or get people thinking politically on your gay ass webpage, go right ahead - that's a good cause too. but don't ever feel like you're doing enough just because the christians next door don't take time out of their prayer to vote.
  • 3-3-00 (22:02)
  • got a bike ticket today, just what my wallet needed. had a nice lengthy talk with the cop though. asked him how i could become a bike cop. how many people he tickets a day, etc. it was the best ticket getting experience of my life. he said only four people have tried to outrun him and none have gotten away. vern and i would have been the first two, but we decided not to. he said he'd listen to our show too, so worst case scenario we got a new listener.
  • led zeppelin rocks.
  • riders on a storm by the doors was used in a good sequence in basketball diaries
  • updated movies list.
  • fried rice today.
  • went to market in woodland because i had an old gift certificate from there...good prices and now i have tp, soap, and food.
  • woke up at 9am today and went shopping and got some temp agencies to do some work for me. probably won't turn into a real job, but...
  • forecast for the week looks partly cloudy = good change. today was LA weather...it was actually warm in woodland.
  • updated archives, obviously.
  • some small changes to the site. random quotes are on the sidebar, poll (which i'll update periodically) is above, sponsor is just text again, and that's about it for that.
  • i have flashes of brilliance in hearts...this is one of them.
  • 3-2-00 (00:50)
  • talked to a chick in the grocery store today with phil. she was all over us, but a bit old for our tastes so...
  • updated movies list. i want to be bond.
  • fried rice again.
  • nothing interesting.
  • 3-1-00 (00:55)
  • updated movies list.
  • phil and i did nothing really interesting today. we're trying to find chicks, but it's not really happening.
  • bowling alley has league play on monday and tuesday, who would know.
  • had really good fried rice...could supplant my breakfast burrito gig.

  • that's all.

    2-28-00 (09:38)

  • updated the movie list.
  • i figured out that i don't like white people or men. no wonder i have a self-esteem problem.
  • got some c64 emulator stuff, we'll see if it works.
  • in other, related news, got around to listening to some of my c64 music. good shit. brings back memories.

  • Shirley Ann Jackson - not the author of "the lottery" -
    this shirley jackson was the first African American
    female to receive a doctorate in Theoretical Solid
    State physics from MIT. she's super smart and stuff

    2-28-00 (06:27)

  • well i'm kinda tired, but it's all good.
  • thom yorke ain't so bad. in fact all of radiohead ain't all together shit. what i'm trying to say is - if you want to come i'm not stopping you. those of you who haven't seen butch cassidy and the sundance kid have no idea what i'm talking about. that movie has so many damn classic lines.
  • i'm going to watch great escape and then do some english workshop type duties...two more little shitty responses to people's stories to go.
  • class at 12. phil will be here around 4.
  • my mind works a little fast sometimes...for example i'll write "with the..." and it usually comes out "withe" that's the most common one i can think of right now, but it happens all the time.
  • off to watch a great movie and get on track for the 300 goal.
  • this month breaks another record for hits...third month in a row.

  • Morgan Freeman - this picture of him rocks. he's one
    of the premier actors of this time period.

    2-28-00 (00:37)

  • samuel l. jackson, de niro, pacino, bruce willis, joe pesci, morgan freeman, william h. macy, and a small handful of others are the best actors of the last few years. two of em were in heat. updated the movielist.
  • played basketball today, real basketball. basketball is a good game and a lot easier to play by yourself than football.
  • phil is coming tomorrow - monday.
  • i should get some action this week. or not.
  • forecast is sunny. she's a whore. tuesday looks like rain. rain shadow in full effect.
  • vern bleeds a lot, and i'm not talking about anal sex.
  • another quick note on heat - when pacino is talking on a pay phone in one of the scenes there are two cuts. in the first cut a picture of malcolm x is in the background. on the secon cut this picture of miles davis is in the background. michael mann and i should be good buddies.
  • today i was very close to buying groceries i couldn't afford. i resisted the urge.
  • marie's cds is 7 away from 8000 positive feedback on ebay. holy shit.
  • Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something.
  • oh i'm sorry did you forget about columbine? sorry i ruined your day.
  • so napster was up to 3 terabytes the other day and just last night it was down to a seventh of that. and in the last 10 mins the volume of shit on napster has tripled. weird.
  • the only time winamp skips is when i do something that loads video. a bit queer, but overall not bad.
  • i like not being woken up in the morning by a phone call. i like being able to sleep until 3pm. i like being able to goto sleep at 5am. i should enjoy this before i get hitched up get a white picket fence and join the 9-5 workforce.
  • jason kidd has a really fly wife. sports illustrated has out done itself two years in a row. next year will have to be a let down in comparison.
  • i must stay up all night in order to get a regular schedule back, so i'll do just that.
  • carter scored 51, i planned on picking him, but i thought he was a guard for some reason so guess i missed out there.
  • why does soda need to be cheaper than juice, even cheap juice? soda is litterally cheaper than water is many cases. this is gay.
  • question of the day - biggest regret of life thusfar?
  • i've done more all-nighters than anyone i know. i've also slept longer than anyone i know. then again i don't know many people and i don't ask them how many all-nighters they've done.

  • Samuel L. Jackson - one of the best actors ever.
    2-27-00 (00:50)
  • phil is coming sunday.
  • went to hattie and manuel's for some free food, it was really good.
  • the second train robbery scene in butch cassidy and the sundance kid really rocks. camera work is awesome
  • why not advertise propositions truthfully? "yes on prop. 22" should = "hate fags? vote yes on 22" or "bigot piece of shit? yes on 22"
  • had a great debate about reasons for not eating pig. don't want to eat it because it's unhealthy? fine. but because it has one stomach or is a 'filthy animal'? jeesh. i won't ever understand that.
  • i need to play on my computer now.
  • updated the movie list.

  • Guion Bluford was the first African-American in space. He flew on STS-8.
    2-26-00 (15:35)
  • big news of the day is that i get free dinner tonight. going to hattie's.
  • it's a scorching 62 outside. that means my car should start just fine. was going to work on the carb today, but i don't want to do that hours before i need to get somewhere because of the great chance i screw it up.
  • my ea sports basketball game has almost caught up with real basketball. i've been on a losing streak.
  • my fantasy basketball team is kicking ass right now despite losing a lot of monetary value.
  • air, le french band, is good.
  • i remember in fourth grade brian grubb told me the french were all back-stabbers...i told my dad and he asked where i got that idea. i said i didn't know and he said that they helped us in the revolutionary war. i didn't say anything after that and since i haven't called the french anything except smelly and rude.

  • Denzel Washington - most attractive black man alive, so I'm told.
    2-25-00 (19:03)
  • talked to austrialian guy today who is giving me some muzak...he called me mate. true story.
  • catching up big time in fantasy basketball.
  • i have no idea what is going on in college basketball. are they playing? is stanford number one? do they play with a 10 foot rim still?
  • and hockey? last i heard wayne was rocking nuts on edmonton. and marty was shitting his diapers. i guess that last part is still true because people seem to want him banned for life. i didn't think the wack with the stick was that bad.
  • i need to get some dough. when i have dough i need to manage it better.
  • question of the day - what should the minimum wage be?

  • B.B. King - Blues giant
    2-25-00 (01:10)
  • when talking to someone online it's easy to talk about two things at once - because of the delay. e.g. i send message about cars to person x, at the same time person x sends message to me about sex, i respond to their message and they respond to mine at about the same time...you can keep this up fairly easily because of the time it takes to type the response and the time to go where it's going. just a thought.
  • i think it's impossible for me to goto bed early
  • updated the movie list.
  • computers are dumb, but offer so many songs and games

  • Nat Turner - leader of slave rebellion
    2-24-00 (01:51)
  • TV gets worse and worse. FOX is the best station ever. seinfeld, simpsons, and all the wack shit shows you can handle. world's worst police chases, etc.
  • updated the movie list. bond is the pimp. OHMSS was awesome i can see why luke loves it so much.
  • herbie hancock rocks. very funky.
  • miles davis is above coltrane now. the reason lies within my rating system - a particular artist's rating is based solely on the strength of the albums i own. i own only one coltrane album and four miles davis albums...those four outrank the one, thus davis is above.
  • one reason the beastie boys may never fall to led zeppelin is the fact that i have 34 or so cds of the beastie boys and only 15 by led zeppelin. the system has its flaws, i know.
  • Bradley sounds very much like an activist to me. whether his ideas, such as that one, work or not only time will tell. i do know that some of the 'radical' plans put forth by a man by the name of FDR were considered far-fetched. giving money to workers sounds better than the reaganomics of the 80s.
  • it's now 3:36, after a long talk with phil and a computer crash i will sleep.

  • Harriet Tubman - famous for her underground
    railroad work. all around cool chick.
    2-23-00 (18:11)
  • if i didn't upload my webpage anymore then i would write a lot less and would probably stop all together. so, for the meantime, i'll continue with this waste.
  • waste, fast, were, dear, read, sad, fear, car, tar, tear, was, seat, feet, sassafras, saw, great, better, bear, staff, graft, vat, beer, gear, care...what's the common link?
  • reasons not to work at a fast food joint: as a college student, i am above the commoners who are reduced to manual labor and service work. 5.75 is only 5 times that of the average chinese 11 year old who makes my gap khakis. i've got lots of money anyway.
  • they didn't hate my story. in fact one chick even liked it so much she offered her services in exchange for my reading it aloud to her while she was under the desk i'masickbastardishouldstoptheinsanity.
  • i shall eat

  • Muddy Waters - blues artist, mojo man, real cool guy.
    2-22-00 (22:25)
  • updated the movie list. ("list" link goes to the text file of movies seen this year - no review).
  • updated the cd list. bmg is about the slowest damn bunch of bastards ever, except when it comes to sending you bills.
  • rain sucks.
  • i read a whole shit load yesterday. none of it was for school.
  • luke is a good guy. pictures from the davis visit are here.
  • got a check in the mail today from my sponsor. thanks scott and others who click on that piece of crap.
  • "Today is a unique date: 2-22-2000. It starts with 4 identical digits, and then finishes with 3 (i.e., 4 twos followed by 3 zeros.) That pattern occurred twice last year, on 1-11-1999 and 11-1-1999. (11-11-1999 was an even rarer pattern.) But the next date with that digit pattern won't be until 2-22-2111, a mere 111 years from today. In other words, it's probably the last time you'll be alive to experience the phenomenon. I couldn't let the event pass without calling your attention to it - in spite of the fact that it undoubtedly exposes a material psychological defect in me (for even considering it noteworthy.)"
  • everyone will be destroying my story tomorrow, oh joy.

  •  

     
     
















    2-21-00 (03:44)
  • steve opened up the theater after hours and let us watch pitch black, hence i updated the movie list.
  • thinking about not uploading webpage anymore, that way it would be more of a journal and less of whatever it is now.
  • really sore from the football game the other day, sleding today, and sitting in the car for a long time.
  • spa was nice.
  • luke says:

  • *Worst feeling in the world? Losing someone you care for
    *Best feeling in the world: knowing you are loved
  • power went out the other day...on the whole block, it was exciting.
  • it all boils down to money.
  • got ragged on quite a bit this weekend.

  • Jerry Rice - greatest receiver of all-time. another victim of
    economic policy being paramount in all walks of life?
    2-20-00 (16:24)
  • biggest news of the day is my sister's birthday (13). there's that.
  • in other news johnny and luke left earlier than expected because of hard floor conditions.
  • oh and i need to get a life.

  • Fredrick Douglas
    2-18-00 (01:34)
  • getting lots of sleep is very good.
  • updated movies list. can't believe i've seen south park 4 times already.
  • johnny and luke aren't coming till sat. shucks.
  • schoolly d rocks.

  • The 6 Original Black Panthers
    2-17-00 (00:17)
  • updated movies list. updated some of the links to the imdb.com database, just because i had nothing better to do.
  • woke up with intentions of getting a lot done. it rained so i slept, but i haven't fallen asleep in class as much as i normally do...only once this quarter (for only a few minutes). it rained pretty badly. i almost got runned over by two cars, that be sucking. then i hit a huge pot hole, which probably fucked up my rim pretty bad. then i finally was on campus with just a bit to go before i got to my classroom. i was so wet that i really didn't see the point in avoiding it anymore. if you try to fight the rain you'll always lose, but if you fight its getting to you by not caring then usually you can win. once on campus i changed strategies and accepted that i was going to be wet. i ended up winning by the time i got to class. yes everything is a battle.
  • coming off the heels of my victory over mother nature i went to conquer the dry classroom. everyone had on a nice clean, dry, sweater. i took off my raincoat and had my kdvs t-shirt on. they took the bus. i win.
  • stupid bitch in english class talked today. i'll call her stupid bitch because all she does is bash other people's stories. (we are doing 'workshop' which is where everyone submits their story for the class to critique...3-4 per day). i can't wait till we read her story so i can take a fat dump on it - not litterally, although that might work too.
  • i actually talked in english class today. my story is a lot (thematically) like two of the three we went over in class today. back to where i was - stupid bitch starts in on this one story, which i thought was really really good. she said that the first paragraph needed to be cut out. she's the kind of bitch that starts out her critiques "i really have to take issue with...." or "i personally had a problem with..." and she says it in the most condescending, pompous, sycophantish way possible.
  • one time she did her little thing and the teacher backed her up and you should have seen the smug little grin on her damn face. oh god. i think everyone wanted her to die. at any rate she's still alive.
  • in other news jon got dsl.
  • fantasy basketball was doing really really well until the week before the all-star break, then key players sucked and got injured, now i'm sucking, or at least not as close to passing the next closest guy. all is well.
  • Dikembe Mutombo had 11 blocks the other night, that's fucking crazy.
  • i think the new jack-in-the-crack, i mean box, commercial rocks...the boy band one. because the boy band in the commercial which is obviously mocking boy bands, is just as good as nsync, backstreets gays, whatever. it's really funny how easy it is to make that music. pretty boys with okay under-matured voices are a dime a dozen...it really amazes me.
  • the quest for mp3s all over 112/44 continues...almost done. now i'm conserving space by reducing those at 192/44 to 128 or 160, unless the song kicks that much ass.
  • (02:33) my classical music collection grows, my harddrive space dwindles.
  • baba o'riley by the who ....epic. spike lee knows it too.
  • two people, never having met before, one a 'multi-millionaire,' the other a semi-attractive basically random chick got married on TV. you don't want to know anymore. it undermined every institution we are supposed to hold sacred.
  • i'm going to slim down mp3 list a bit now.
  • (03:02) i do a search for 'lovely day' on napster and up comes 5 hits. a great song by the one and only bill withers...only 5 hits. one is some gay version by 'lit' - i guess they were popular for 15 seconds. the others are by bill withers, but in parenthesis say (gap commercial) e.g., "bill withers-lovely day (first gap commercial).mp3" gay shit.
  • oldest mp3 in my possession? that's a no-brainer...trio-da da da. only mp2 in my possession? devo-whip it.mp2...that was easy too. of all mp3s which artist is most represented? prodigy with 8, but some are remixed by or of prodigy, so that's not fair. nine inch nails has 7, 2pac and david bowie have 6. beatles have 42. beastie boys have 189 if you count the ones i own (32) and the bs 2000 solo project (25). this could change very quickly though, because i downloaded a bunch of FSOL and gusgus tracks so the balance could be disrupted. i need a job so i can buy these albums. dammit. remember that anything i have on cd i don't have on mp3, thus led zeppelin is absent on my mp3 list. although there is an acoustic version of black dog i want. i digress.
  • yardbirds are classic.
  • xoom upload server has been sucking big time lately. check the mirror once in a while, it's geocities.

  • Langston Hughes - most famous of the Harlem Renaissance writers
    2-16-00 (01:23)
  • updated movies list.
  • really should get a job soon.
  • really don't know what kind of job i'm going to have two years from now.

  • Tiger Woods - you know this guy.
    2-15-00 (19:00)
  • got a phone call today. ring. pick up. hello? hello? yes sir, is chris miller there? that's me. thanks for your time sir, i'm with aol customer service and i see that last time you refused an offer, i'm trying to figure out why that is. yea, take me off the list. okay sir, i'll make a note of that. that's what you guys said last time, if i get another call then i'll make a note of that. hang up.
  • the library always intrigues me.
  • www.howstuffworks.com finally got some press, other than from me. it took consumer reports almost a year, but they finally caught up with me.
  • my wealth is a fraction of what it once was...4/3? 1/2? a fraction could be more or less.
  • he was an ugly monster - like frankenstein. frankenstein was the doctor, the monster was the monster, it didn't really have a name.
  • that black guy keeps selling his race out...he's such an uncle tom. never read the story, but to my knowledge uncle tom took a good load of shit from his master for NOT telling on a fellow slave.
  • "shaq died" ... "i could care less" ... so could his mom. if you don't care try saying "i couldn't care less" it makes more sense.
  • think before you speak is my point.
  • jimi really rocks

  • W.E.B. DuBois (not pronounced the affluent
    white boy way) - thought education was key.
    2-15-00 (00:28)
  • luck is a residue of design
  • updated movies list.
  • computer restarted by itself, i love life.
  • today started out okay, then things went to shit...i dropped chicken on the floor and bread too. computer sucks cock. the undo function on composer apparently isn't very good. at least ELO is good.
  • my memory is really bad.
  • i don't really know any bands good like ELO or the Doors...they kinda did their own thing and it worked, no one, to my limited knowledge, has been able to duplicate it (their styles) with any consistent success.
  • need new friends.
  • if i'm not in my room at night my roommates would assume i was dead. this is a bad sign. if jon isn't home i assume he's in san francisco or at monique's, if vern isnt' home i assume he is at leslie's or another friend's or a rave, if scott isn't home i assume he's at a bar or at scott's or lisa's or stacy's or hattie's or at a gay bar. of course it's up to me to change this.
  • a friend not too long ago asked for more childhood memories on my page, here one be...my first day at after school day care, i was in 3rd or 4th grade, i remember everyone was doing a project and i just litterally walked in circles with my backpack still on. anytime i've ever had friends i've only had one real friend and a few of quasi-friends. but, again, it's in my hands.
  • gotta have a project. get busy living or get busy dying. just do it. find your passion. they have a million and a half sayings, none of them strong enough to motivate the master of being unmotivated - me.
  • napster had a terabyte's (1000 gigs) worth of mp3s available today.
  • people are strange when you're a stranger
    places look ugly when you're alone
    women seem wicked when you're unwanted

    Jesse Jackson Sr. - one of the coolest African-
    American leaders alive. His son is even cooler.
    2-13-00 (22:43)
  • some people really amaze me.
  • this weather sucks ass.

  • George Washington Carver - peanut man and inventor
    2-13-00 (05:13)
  • updated movies list.
  • i'm really quiet sometimes, but you get me on the right subject...music or movies (good ones) and sometimes i won't shut up.
  • i guess it's valentine's day tomorrow...right.
  •  Lawrence Gordon is a good producer...boogie nights, die hard i, and ii, predator i and ii...that's enough for me, but he also did 48 hours, leviathan, and mystery men.
  • my sleep habits are horrible
  • feel like my life is kind of in a rut...not really going anywhere lately. i don't want to be routine, but i am. the only way this will change is if i do something about it.
  • Malcolm X is getting really into religion now...he's still in jail. he's starting to freak me out, but it's how strongly he stood for his ideals that attracts me to him...incidently MLK felt the same way...malcolm is a bit wacked, but he's really adamant about it. i think that's a direct quote from the king himself, or not.
  • ELO is really underrated. you not knowing who they are is a good indication of my point.
  • i'd like to live in a van for a year or two.
  • i'd like to own a burger stand for a few years.

  • Maya Angelou - a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it.
    2-11-00 (23:01)
  • show was okay, but dj toasty was a bigger asshole today than he was last time...if he annoys me again i'll kill him.
  • went out for chinese today thanks to the 130 bucks in change accumulated by scott and vern.
  • when i read i want to be entertained first, as bad as it sounds i don't want to have to think too much. my mind wanders enough as it is - this is why i hate reading, because it's impossible to do when it's difficult material and i haven't taken my drugs (ha ha). this is why i like reading simple, but still quality books more than some of the other shit. movies are a different story.
  • updated movies list.

  • Marcus Garvey - big influence on Malcolm X. Advocated Blacks emigrating to Africa.
    2-11-00 (14:10)
  • WASHINGTON (AP) - A single drinking binge by a pregnant woman can be

  • enough to permanently damage the brain of her unborn child, according
    to a new study of the effects of alcohol on babies. Although
    experiments in the study were conducted on laboratory rats, experts
    said the findings offer an explanation of why children born to
    drinking mothers can suffer learning disabilities and other brain
    disorders. The study indicates that rats, and presumably humans, are
    most susceptible to alcohol-related neurological damage during a
    period when developing brain cells are furiously building the
    connections needed for memory, learning and thought. See
    http://www.infobeat.com/stories/cgi/story.cgi?id=2564116768-7c5
  • show is in 50 mins.

  • Toni Morrison - whose book "The Bluest Eye" isn't all that, in my opinion.

    2-11-00 (02:27)

  • today was a waste.
  • tomorrow i should do something. lots of the things i want to do require money.
  • jon set me up with monique's isp...so now i have unlimited internet...it was unlimited before, but they'd log you off every 2 hours...this is nice for larger projects like ratio sites and such.
  • i'd like to build a candle.
  • i have a labeling system all worked out for my jeans...so i know exactly how well they fit, without having to try them on...as we all know all 32x32s are not created equally. a number system I-IV, I being too small to wear...donate, II being kinda tight - no belt needed, III being perfect - need belt, IV being too baggy to wear outside, I only have one pair of these. the marks are put on the label and it's been working fairly well for the last few months now, so it's out of its beta stages and is therefore being released to the public.
  • i hating working with computers that work...i'd much rather take a non-working computer and make it at least boot up. don't like - chris i've got a computer that does everything really well, but i want it to have a zip drive, oh and you may as well format the drive too. i don't like doing that shit. do like - chris i've got a computer that boots up once in a while, whenever it feels like it...yes i know what you mean, they're like that...ha ha, yes well i want it to be able to run windows-ninety-gay and aol, because i know nothing about computers...you've got nothing to lose then?...that's what i'm saying...okay i'll do it. do like - chris i've got a computer that works fine i just want you to take a look at it and see if things are running well...sure no problem (i run scandisk, line up icons, defrag, look at the device manager, line up icons, delete unnecessary shit from startup menu, line up icons, and reboot). simple.
  • i'd like to finally get working on my car
  • i'm not good at remembering parts of songs or movies...e.g. someone says 'hey remember that solo on such and such a song?" me: "uh there was a solo on that song? all i remember is that it's a great song"
  • my memory is going to really suck when i'm old and i start smoking crack
  • the new rage album rocks both my left and right nut, but it's a little bit too produced...that comes with getting a big name like brendan o'brien (as they had on EE). so i think on the next album they should get back with gggarth. personal opinion only.

  • Booker T. Washington - American black educator and
    social reformer of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, who believed
    that blacks should work for advances in education and employment
    instead of trying to win social equality with whites.
    2-10-00 (04:25)
  • except the freaks who could never love anyone
  • pt anderson is my favorite writer/director ever. kubrick remains my favorite straight up director.
  • i don't think any movie has had more of an effect on me after only two viewings than magnolia.

  • Thurgood Marshall - first black supreme court justice.
    civil rights leader, all around great guy.
    2-10-00 (02:41)
  • the internet can suck balls sometimes, othertimes not so much so.
  • free music is nice.
  • the pictures, by the way, are in no particular order. none at all.
  • the music industry chews you up pretty bad.
  • warez and mp3s will never be stopped. this is one situation where 'the man' will not win. simple as that.
  • so here's something gay - geocities got rid of the site that housed my cliffs notes...so i'll have to move all that stuff to a mirror site, may as well i guess. here it be. it won't have all the same features as the xoom site, but it'll be nice to have storage space elsewhere, just for the hell of it.
  • updated booknotes page...we're not in high school so i'm sure no one cares about that.
  • i also updated my list of definitive albums.
  • Martin Luther King Jr. - all around best guy ever.

    2-10-00 (01:57)
  • updated movies list. i don't have many movies with a thumbs down (5). this is because most of the movies i watch are worth watching once. if i based them on a "you could have been watching pulp fiction basis" then there would be fewer than five with a thumbs up...number system just gets annoying. so i stand by my ratings.
  • if anyone knows of a candle crafting webpage let me know. i've discovered the basics by myself, but i'm ready to advance to the next level. looking especially for strategies on wick maintenance or even extension.

  • Malcolm X, born Malcolm Little...read the fucking autobiography.
    2-9-00 (20:22)
  • let me tell you the story of my english class. day one the teacher asks us all to tell a little story as an introduction, maybe something that happened while on vacation or such. girl #1 tells the story of meeting her love while in line for a math test. how sweet. day two the teacher still wants introductions this time we're supposed to tell a funny thing about ourselves, girl #1 says "i don't like being hurt, but i always pick the guys that hurt me" (direct quote). girl #2 says i don't know why, but people always tell me their life story. during the break girl #1 starts talking to girl #2 - a beautiful relationship is formed. day 10 we turn in our stories (7-8 pages long). girl #1 turns her story in - it's 18 pages long and the first line reads - "Katy, I didn't want to hurt you..." Josh said. He turned around and walked away; he left me standing alone.  ...it gets worse from there. A wise friend once told me that often people's stories are very autobiographical. duh.
  • midterm wasn't too bad...first essay (slotted for 45 mins) took me an hour so that didn't help.
  • i shall read.

  • Ali vs. Norton
    2-9-00 (2:58)
  • not having any direction with my stories can sometimes be a good thing...the ending turned out better than i thought, but overall the story needs reworking.
  • being a good reader is almost as tough as being a good writer.
  • that lighter fluid has smoothed things out quite nicely.
  • spring break has much potential.
  • my wandering got my as wondering, where christ is in all this crisis.

  • 1968 Olympics - Mucho controversy.

    2-9-00 (01:41)

  • went four wheeling again. it was fun, my neck got tweaked a bit, but it's all good.
  • my candle is shaping up nicely. lighter fluid is good - use cautiously
  • my story isn't.
  • listening to bitches brew.
  • shall return to working.
  • "you're not the boss of me" - has to be one of the greatest lines in movie history. go Paul Thomas Anderson.

  • Edwin Moses 400m hurdler - "I found that I enjoyed individual
    sports much more...Everything is cut and dry; nothing is
    arbitrary. It's just a matter of getting to the finish line first."
    2-8-00 (18:13)
  • had an unannounced quiz in poli sci - sucked nuts. 5/10
  • i will screening calls from now on...if you call before 9pm i won't answer unless you start leaving a message. every weekday at 11am i've been woken up by telemarketers...usually their automated system doesn't even click over so it's just a hang up. i hate this more than anything, ever.
  • i was reminded about valentine's day twice today...1) $5 from my grandmother. 2) a smashing article on how to get some action this V-day...
  • on a related note, hot chick in poli-sci class (actually she's in both my poli-sci classes) talked to me today, just a random question "which TA has the graded papers" type dealio. i responded "duh, uhm, uh (barf on floor)...i mean uhm i think that one over there (barf in direction of TA #2)"
  • i'll write my story now.

  • MJ & Spike - best basketball player ever and one damn good director

    2-8-00 (05:00)

  • so i'm only about 1/4 done...i'll sleep. i'm not very focused right now. here's my take on being a good story maker - find a direction and a voice first, then let it flow. at least for me i'm not always sure what my narrator's tone or voice is going to be...i've found my direction though. a guy who feels alienated, recognizes everyone is just a bunch of fish in a stream type thing, but doesn't really do anything about it. kinda like me. not as wacked as deniro in taxi driver, not as young as the guy in A & P by updike. me in 12 years or so. not sure if i want him to go on a killing spree or what...ending could suck big time. but you won't read it so don't worry.
  • night time for me.

  • Flo-Jo "covered 100 meters in 10.49 seconds, shattering the women's world record.
    She also set the world record for the 200 meters (21.34 seconds)"

    2-8-00 (01:20)

  • i should work on my story so i don't have to worry about it tomorrow.
  • xoom upload server is down, that is gay.
  • i'd like to take a hemingway short story and purport it as my own...i'd love to see how the teacher would rip on it's tense change or sentence fragments, etc. but if i put 'written by hemingway' at the top it is transformed into a work of art. who am i to talk? anything the beastie boys have touched is gold whether it's  that good or not. just a thought.
  • i think that characters/themes are more worthwhile than plot, yet most people ask about plot first.

  • Michael Johnson - owns the 200 and 400m records. He has also revitalized track & field.

    2-8-00 (12:59)

  • updated movies list.
  • ask jeeves can really suck dick sometimes.

  • Jesse Owens, who tied the 100 yd record while in
    high school and won 4 gold medals in 1936.
    2-6-00 (05:48)
  • luke has a link on his site which is pretty interesting...all about the song american pie...and the many interpretations thereof. it's pretty crazy.

  • Paul Robeson - political activist, athlete, and actor

    2-6-00 (03:57)

  • updated movies list. two movies today.
  • my computer sucks. formatting won't help. hardware (after 3 years) may finally be catching up with me.
  • earned 15 bucks from jon...door-to-door bothering people. more desperate than kfc, i think. pays better.
  • nothing much to say.

  • "...one of the most politically and socially conscious artists of any generation...."
    -- Spike Lee talking about Chuck D of Public Enemy

    2-5-00 (03:38)

  • updated movies list. saw a movie at campus cinema, watching movies alone gives one an opportunity to really enjoy how stupid some people are. while outside, rather than talking with a friend or such, i watched all the couples and friends who acted like complete retards, quite discouraging for the human race. movie rocked, even though it was 40 mins late.
  • on a related topic...some kdvs idiot gave vern and i shit while we were doing our show. he asked where the film calendar was...neither of us had heard of such a thing...there's an entertainment calendar, which was right next to the folder that he had in his hand, as for film calendar we didn't know. so we looked at each other and said 'what?' to signal our confusion or even ignorance. then in the most mocking tone possible he sounded out each syllable - "the film ca-len-dar" at this point i took out my switchblade and sliced his jugular...not stopping there i sliced off his head, while vern ate his entrails i put his head on a stake in front of the station. we gave each other a high five and returned to the programming. actually we just stood there and felt really offended. this guy doesn't know us, it's not like a friend fucking around, it's more like an asshole being an asshole to strangers. it was the second time he asked, not the fifteenth, we didn't treat him like a retard, why did he treat us like retards? that's enough time wasted on him.
  • santa cruz obviously hasn't happened. oh well. hopefully i get something done. might need to replace belt on the car's generator dealio. it looked like it wobbled...could be the cause of the start problems. or maybe that's the result of the choke...i guess i'll fuck with the choke first, that's free...then if that fixes the other problem the case will be solved. who knows. wish i took some kind of auto class.
  • i'm thirsty.
  • look over the webpage, top to bottom for some more pictures...finally got around to getting enough pictures to do what I wanted to do for this month.

  • Miles Davis

    2-4-00 (04:25)

  • updated movies list. cool hand luke rocks. here's a new goal - 300 movies in da year 2000...i've seen 21 so far...it'll be fun.
  • i'll probably have over 450 cds by the end of the year too.
  • i'll hopefully have a job by the end of the year.
  • now it looks like I'm not going to santa cruz, that's gay, but the circumstances aren't really working out too well.
  • show tomorrow. having fridays off is nice, but the radio show still makes me wake up in the 'morning' (usually around 1pm).
  • midterm and story due next week. story isn't a problem, unless it needs to be good. midterm could be tricky. should go to library tomorrow.
  • i've sunken to an all-time low - went to jack in the crack and got an application. as long as i get money and free shakes i'll be happy.
  • if it doesn't rain tomorrow i'll get a lot done, if it rains i'll sit around inside after the show. since it ends at 430, instead of 5 for this quarter, i'll have time to go around to places before dark settles in.
  • we went four wheeling today in jon's 1960 land rover...quite the experience.
  • in the last week i've gotten about 100 emails, mostly from kdvs losers complaining about the webpage. i think it looks fine but all of a sudden there is quite the squabbling surrounding its aesthetics.
  • i should be sleeping sometime soon.
  • got fruit in mail, interesting, but good.
  • read more of the malcolm x autobiography...it's still good, it's still good (ala homer simpson when his ham flew through the air and landed in just about every type of garbage one can imagine...you had to see it).
  • garbage cd is good, handsome boy modeling school cd is better than i remember, ice-t og album is worse, and schoolly d is the bomb. old skool hip-hop is good. no matter how many albums one has it always feels like you're missing something. that's economics i guess...unlimited wants and all that jism, jizz, uhm i mean jazz.
  • night.
  • Louis Armstrong - father of jazz

    "You can't play anything on a horn that Louis hasn't played"
    -- Miles Davis
    Louis Armstrong born 79 years before Chris Miller, July 4 1900

    2-3-00 (03:50)

  • updated sidebar/navbar to your left. consolidated some of the lists. actually just made a list of lists. so basically i made it easier for newcomers.
  • eclipsed the 3000 mark without much notice.
  • updated public bookmarks
  • cream of clapton cd is better than i remember
  • even updated feature page.

  • Jackie Robinson
    2-3-00 (00:27)
  • "If there's any such thing as a perfect man, I think John Coltrane was one. And I think that kind of perfection has to come from a greater force than there is here on earth." - Elvin Jones, Coltrane's legendary drummer
  • "Even though I own only one of his albums, John Coltrane is my favorite jazz musician" -Chris Miller, 'Trane's not so legendary hummer

  • John Coltrane
  • updated recent movies list.
  • at one time i was one of those that was saying movies 'these days' suck...up until a few years ago i was saying this. then i took a good look back and discovered that the 90s have been blessed with some of the greatest films i've ever seen...some of the greatest music too, some of the greatest sports moments as well, but i digress. pulp fiction, boogie nights, magnolia (i saw it in 1999 so it counts, even though official release wasn't until 2000 i believe), fargo, shawshank redemption, seven, goodfellas, casino, matrix, fight club, american beauty, saving private ryan, sixth sense, any given sunday, austin powers (both), pi, kids, beauty and the beast, election, american history x, south park, rushmore, fear and loathing in las vegas, gilbert grape, blair witch, scream, silence of the lambs, jerry maguire, good will hunting, unforgiven, jfk...there are more, i know, but i can't remember them all. not all of these are 'classics,' but they're all good in my book...a nice sized list i'd say.
  • i think the list is overshadowed by shakespeare in love and titanic winning best picture...it's a bit disheartening when forrest gump and the english patient win over pulp fiction and fargo...it's actually really sad, but the point is that the movies were still made, whether or not saving private ryan gets it's due recognition over gwenth paltrow's tits is another issue.
  • garbage album rocks. updated cd list...they finally came - no i did not spend and new money.
  • probably going to santa cruz this weekend. pay for gas and that's it.
  • kfc manager wasn't there, no applications. i'll go again tomorrow. i'll talk to in n' out manager and see if there is a spot open for sex slave. if i don't have a job shaping up by the end of next week i'll have to go on call at the shelter. damn.
  • they don't buy blood anymore do they?
  • i've got plenty of turkey, thankfully.
  • updated mp3 list here, it took a long time actually because i updated the word version as well.
  • money mark is better than i remember.

  • Billie Holiday

    2-2-00 (02:31)

  • sex isn't all it's cracked up to be, trust me - I've heard it from a lot of people.

  • Run D.M.C.
    2-2-00 (00:18)
  • page for discussion forum changed. one doesn't realize how dorky he is until he looks at past messages he's posted or reads through his old archives. what a dork. this for example:  jazz is like jizz...only jazz's bop era lasted longer.
  • hard bop is good, go coltrane.
  • what to write?
  • football is fun. sports, movies, music...jeez.
  • i'm mr. conversation.

  • Chuck Berry
    2-1-00 (23:30)
  • updated archives page...so you can view all my past ramblings
  • have a story due tomorrow, wrote first few pages, it sucks. my last one didn't suck so bad. writing for other people is gay. i'd rather direct a film or even write a screenplay than write a story.
  • having a girlfriend is fun and fulfilling, i assume.
  • i have lots of love to give, i just don't know where to put it. god, what a good movie.
  • slept 18.5 hours last night...it was crazy. lots of dreams too.
  • 380 cds isn't enough.
  • 0 dollars isn't enough.
  • 48% voting for president (96) isn't enough.
  • when my dad and i would go driving in his green piece of shit he would make fun of the people driving next to us. that doesn't happen anymore.
  • phil might come up this weekend. if not i'll probably go to santa cruz.
  • i've only been up 10 hours....it's late. i wish every place was open 24 hours. i'm not buying anything so i'm not sure why. uh i wish the sun was out.
  • going to eat a sandwich. want advocado and tomato. only have cheese.

  • 2PAC


    1-31-00 (09:57)

  • worked overnight at the shelter last night...they needed someone and i got mentioned. great. at least i get 50 or so bucks.
  • my car took 10 mins to warm up this morning. fucking shit!
  • i love driving it and i love feeling so superior in that beautifully beat up 67 bug, but i'd also like it to start cleanly and stay started while warming up.
  • i will get an application from kfc today. i went yesterday, but they didn't have any. need the money so it must be done.
  • have a story due today...finished.
  • very tired...four hours of class...in two hours, damn.
  • i will fall asleep. taking nap could be bad, maybe i should have done that when i first got here...decisions decisions.
  • watched two movies.
  • writing stories helps appreciation while watching movies or reading...i'm glad i'm taking english 5f, for that reason alone.

  • 1-30-00 (19:09)

  • The superbowl was really good. I kinda wished the titans had won though. I was rooting for the rams at first and then the titans showed a lot of character and really played like champions...they may not have won the game, but they won me over.
  • football is the best sport ever, in my opinion.
  • phil came and left this weekend.
  • i'm done here. my candle is doing well.

  • 1-28-00 (18:22)

  • i get way too many calls from the damn telemarketers. so i went online for the last two days. i got so whored out to all the lists...it's bad news kiddies.

  • 1-28-00 (05:12)

  • bedtime.
  • dj qbert cd uses lots of cool samples, rush, street fighter II, "the catch" - love that one....those are just a few of the ones i caught, imagine how many there are, how long it took to find all that shit. damn.
  • a hard man is good to find, i mean a good man is hard to find.

  • 1-27-00 (02:53)

  • AOL is the devil.

  • 1-27-00 (01:00)

  • so wait, led zeppelin was four human beings right? that's impossible.
  • half the fun of candles is maintaining their shape, or crafting your own. it's no different with a 3 wick candle.
  • my browsers both suck. my computer sucks more. icq sucked. may need to format in near future, no biggie, just pain in the ass and waste of a day.
  • need more kleenex
  • looking for girlfriend, 2.5 years running now.
  • looking for job, .0833333 years running now.
  • we're watching movies like regular students...at this rate we'll be finished with our list of 60 or so movies in a couple months. mostly classics/must see flicks, some just cool or memorable. it's all part of our "be more like jesus" campaign. uh, not.
  • fucking with candles is really fun, especially when they're hot. chris you are a sick one.

  • 1-26-00 (03:27)

  • a little late.
  • updated recent movies list.
  • rain song and no quarter by led zepplin (houses of the holy) are great songs. oh man life is funny.
  • busy busy busy, ala cat's cradle.
  • crazy world it is.
  • need job, tired, broke, system been crashing lately, who cares.

  • 1-25-00 (20:50)

  • we were asked to re-write a fairy tale in a different point of view in english class. so i did.
  • can't believe it's already 9. damn.

  • 1-25-00 (05:17)

  • just realized i'm never going to get a job. i should work at kfc.

  • 1-25-00 (03:13)

  • if i have 1.5 breakfast burritos a day, which is pretty close to what i average, it comes to 45 a month - here are the totals...somewhere around 50 tortillas (sometimes i have 3 per burrito, instead of 2), 80 eggs, 2 big bottles of taco sauce, 20 lbs of potatoes, 3 lbs of cheese, 4 medium tomatoes (don't always have them on my burritos), and 3 onions. which comes out to under 39 bucks a month. this doesn't include spices (no longer use tobasco, but will when i'm rich again, pepper, garlic powder, and sometimes a pinch of salt). nor does it include the teaspoon or two of oil i use or operational costs...microwave for potato and gas for stove. i imagine, though, that it's down to a minimum since i do it pretty quickly, especially relative to boiling water which usually takes 15 minutes...
  • per day i average 189% of my daily allowed cholesterol...all from eggs since i almost never use butter, unless i have pasta.
  • cheese is the most expensive element in my recipe and i've cut down on consumption in this area so it's down under 3 lbs a month.
  • this all started because i wondered how expensive it was to eat the way i do, and since all i eat, with some exceptions depending on mood, availability, etc. is breakfast burritos i thought i'd figure all this out. last month i spent 76 bucks on food, this takes into account free meals at parents' houses, but i also ate out a lot, so that cancels out. the month before...when i ate breakfast burritos more than any other month i spent 74 bucks on food. the month before that i spent 191 on food, but that's mostly because we went to costco one day and i fed people burritos every weekend for the whole month. the month before that was when i first had the burrito revelation and i spent 99 bucks on food, months before that were usually around 140. either i eat less or breakfast burritos are a godsend.
  • each plate (minus the onion and spices) is a bit more that 818 calories...320 of which are from the tortillas!...35 grams of fat (15 saturated)...490 mg of cholesterol...40.25 grams of protein...vitamin A 29%... vitamin C 55%...calcium 47%.
  • too much fat and cholesterol, but overall good.
  • this bitch is, well, interesting.

  • 1-25-00 (02:19)

  • surprise yourself today, good or bad you'll still learn.
  • updated the mp3 list in a massive way. 50 something songs added. new directory structure which affects no one but me.
  • i officially have 2 days' worth of mp3s. organizing this in a useful way is tough...at first i had everything in one directory, but that's a drag, after i had a bigger collection (say 100 songs) i changed to alphabetical directories, that wasn't very good. say i want to load several songs of the same type, but on different ends of the alphabet...also making playlists is somewhat useful, but still not good enough. then i got the idea to sort everything by what radio stations they might be played on. this worked for quite a while, but was always a bit limiting, until i added the kdvs directory. now i've limited the kdvs directory to stuff i'd play on my show (indie rock and jazz) of course when i had the show to myself i played some other stuff under electronica, but i've limited it to just indie rock and jazz for these purposes. i scrapped the radio station idea and used them only as rough guides...so now i have 15 directories and the most files in a single directory is 80 in hip-hop/dance.
  • in sum, i updated the main mp3 page, the mp3 list (winamp generated), the word 7.0 downloadable mp3 list, the beastie boys mp3 list, my directory structure, but NOT the stupid text version list which makes it easier for you to view. i don't care about you so that's why. oh, and finally updated my mp3 wish list but that doesn't matter.
  • read more vonnegut today. 2 more stories, maybe a couple more before sleep, or maybe malcolm x again. or maybe i'll start 'a void' or maybe i'll realize that reading is bad again and i'll just goto sleep.
  • maybe i should start cataloging my LP list or my vhs list. maybe i should waste my time on something other than lists.
  • rain is sucking more and more.
  • maybe i should call this page what it really is.
  • getting more hits this month than last...wow.
  • deja vu

  • 1-24-00 (17:00)

  • missed class today, that sucks.
  • sleep should help this cold though.
  • below is another of my fallen homies. long live tupac.
  • it's funny how many elements are similar within hip-hop, esp. kool moe dee, public enemy, schoolly d, and even the beastie boys use a lot of the same samples. kool moe dee and pe use similar loud tape loops. hip hop is funny, but in my opinion cool, like that.
  • 1-24-00 (01:16)

  • 2pac lives on.
  • updated recent movies list.
  • need a job, need money, i'm really broke.
  • remember to recycle and that greed is the root of all evil. damn i love it when people listen to me.
  • From now on I will pour out liquor for my fallen homies - Che, 2pac, MLK, and Malcolm X.
  • Malcolm X Feb 21, 1965
  • MLK April 4, 1968
  • 2pac Sept 13, 1996
  • Che October 9, 1967
  • the new 2pac cd is pretty good...has some elements i'm sure they added later to make it more gay hoppy, but it still holds the 2pac skills on a few tracks. kool moe dee is bumping now. with that and public enemy i have more pre 1990 hip hop to add to my MiniDisc mix.
  • i should become a street walker. i'm going to read now.

  • 1-23-00 (16:49)

  • woke up early (for me) and watched the last part of the tennessee game and all of the st. louis game. that was good.
  • still sick. i get sick more often than most, but i can't remember the last time i was so sick i couldn't leave the house. thank you immune system.

  • 1-23-00 (03:09)

  • read stuff for english, chapter and a half of malcolm x's autobiography, and three short stories by vonnegut. this has got to be some kind of record for me. the stories ranged from funny to kinda sad. the english story was sad. and the chapter or so on malcolm was mostly about dancing in boston when he was 16. he was a punk.
  • it's raining. football tomorrow should be good, hopefully i watch it.
  • i have a cold.

  • 1-23-00 (00:21)

  • went to berkeley today to go shopping that was cool. got plenty more music than i need. my cd collection will be at 380 when i bother updating it.
  • saw a movie.
  • i'm going to read while i download free music.
  • okay i updated the cd list. now i'll read.
  • for one of the first times in my life i'm looking forward to reading...i got a collection of short stories by kurt vonnegut (my favorite)...it came in the mail from the same book club that gave me the complete works of shakespeare, ny times cookbook, and the autobiography of MLK all together for under 25 bucks. i want to finish the malcolm x bio (400 pages to go) and then start reading a few of the vonnegut stories oh and maybe some school stuff too.

  • 1-22-00 (00:12)

  • my computer is being gay...hardware and software wise. could mean gayness.
  • didn't have sex, watched a movie instead. updated list. not going to add link because you can find it if you want.
  • we need a movement with a quickness.
  • made a mix MD today. yip.
  • the newest rage album fucking rocks...i was a bit turned off at first, but now i've acclimated to it and decided that it's officially better than evil empire. guess i'll have to make some changes in my lists.

  • 1-21-00 (17:28)

  • what to do? study? read? movie? sex? sex it is.
  • 1-21-00 (03:54)

  • i don't agree with everything malcolm x did or stood for even. for example his backing of garvey's principles is a bit extreme for me, but i've always loved and admired the way he stood up for his beliefs and was such a leader for 'his people.'

  • 1-20-00 (22:07)

  • some great movies fade with the time in between viewings...others, like boogie nights and now magnolia...esp. magnolia...get better in between viewings...just from watching the music video i got goosebumps and wanted to see it again...even though i saw it just a few days ago. damn what a film.

  • 1-20-00 (21:38)

  • sleep schedule sucks.
  • listening to white zombie more often.
  • saw some good computer deals on a newsgroup...486s for 10 bucks 386 (whole system, with monitor) for 10 bucks. crazy shit. it's worth 10 bucks and my time just to have a computer to have games on or something...5 dollar modem and it's online...quite amazing really.
  • happy birthday hattie.
  • usa rocks? it's up to you here are some reasons it doesn't suck as much as you've heard.
  • i think it's amazing how retarded we all are to think that there is actually going to be a surplus and that we should cut taxes based on this hope. i'm hoping for a candidate who will run and plainly tell everyone he's going to raise taxes...especially for the top 1% of the country.
  • i'd for for someone like that.
  • saw the GOP debates...some funny old men in there. bauer was funny, although gayish. and bush is retarded, but speaks spanish fairly well. keyes was unimpressive and too conservative. mccain was old and gimpy. hatch is mormon i'm sure. forbes is funny, but freaky. that's all.
  • gore is gay. bradley is the lesser of the two evils and actually isn't so evil. wish peace and freedom put someone cool out there who could win.

  • 1-20-00 (02:34)

  • my friends' girlfriends are usually the only girls that appreciate me. funny like that.
  • start! video is good - cover of jam, by the beastie boys. funny shit, simple and directed by adrock's brother i believe.
  • got matrix the movie in the mail, forgot about that.

  • 1-18-00 (12:52)

  • wish i watched more sports...especially hockey. i miss all that. espn is cool too.
  • reading can be fun, as vern the english major so often tries to remind me. it takes a lot for me to resort to reading though...but when i have, recently (cat's cradle and malcolm x's autobiography), i've been satisfied.

  • 1-18-00 (23:13)

  • just finished the first little story/scene for english. it sucks.
  • i'm tired. i don't like school very much. i'm bored.
  • fucking telemarketers.
  • should have gone to fry's.
  • updated cd list. 370.
  • while i watch magnolia i feel like it's great and i know it is, but i know it even more after i'm sitting at my computer listening to the soundtrack or even when i just think about it. watch the fucking film.
  • i have a year 2000 penny.
  • it's better to regret something you've done than something you haven't done.
  • "Malcolm, there's one thing I like about you. You're no good, but you don't try to hide it. You are not a hypocrite." Mrs. Adock to Malcolm X. I'm on chapter 3 now.

  • 1-18-00 (13:56)

  • you need money to make money. the rich get richer the poor get (relatively) poorer. "The boom on Wall Street is widening the income gap between the poorest and richest U.S. families, according to a report by two Washington think tanks. The earnings for the poorest fifth of American families rose less than 1% between 1988 and 1998 but jumped 15% for the richest fifth, the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities and the Economic Policy Institute said in their report issued Tuesday. Income for the poorest families, defined as two or more relatives living together, rose $110 to $12,990 during the 10-year period. For the richest families it increased by $17,870, to $137,480, more than 10 times that of the poorest sector, the report found. "
  • we all knew this already, but it still needs to be restated. goto www.census.gov if you really want to be blown away.
  • saw Katie, a girl from the YMCA, last night at safeway. she lives in davis and actually just down the street. i freakin knew her when she was ten and i was a c.i.t. at the YMCA...kinda weird. almost like a teacher seeing a former student. at any rate, that's that.
  • woke up to another telemarketer this morning (1:15pm). yesterday (a holiday you will recall) it was at 8am. fuckers need to die.
  • need to do a little bit of a paper now.

  • 1-18-00 (01:25)

  • was going to write something cool here, but i forgot. maybe not cool, more like something i wanted to say/have been thinking of a lot today. darn.
  • need a job. mp3s are coming in, but i'm running out of wants. i've got most of the singles that i want...now to knock off my ever growing list of albums to get. need a job.
  • kinda cool...malcolm x in his autobiography mentions certain songs that were popular at the time...for example glenn miller and the ink spots when he was in jr. high. thought you'd like to know.

  • 1-17-00 (01:09)

  • welcome to the machine. and the mass screams. a fire in the master's house is set.
  • updated recent movies list. the streak begins again? magnolia rocks. you should see it. however, it was depressing to see some of the retards in the theater laugh at completely inappropriate times. maybe they didn't relate to the characters or something...i honestly don't know. i do know that anyone who can't see the genius of the film needs to check themself. i was without words when the idiot behind me said the most retarded thing possible...i won't repeat it because it has something to do with the movie, but jon put it best when he turned to me and said something like "it's times like this when i wish i had a gun." exactly.
  • is there hope for the human race when incompassionate retards like that live in such abundance?
  • i'll stop now. first chapter of malcolm x is finished.
  • qualities that make you get elected president are often much different from those that make you a good president in the history books. this can be applied to relationships too, i think.
  • isn't there some quote about love growing stronger over a distance? that's bullshit.
  • i've been getting some really good bandwidth once in a while...uploading at 4+k/sec or downloading at 6.5 k/sec...nice.

  • 1-16-00 (12:39)

  • big story for the day - i have a 17" monitor for the meantime. jon had one that didn't work on his computer so i get to use it.
  • other big story - fall was a good movie. updated recent movies list. the streak died yesterday.
  • running at 1152 x 864 resolution...video card (4 meg mystique) can actually handle it. now i'll be spoiled so soon (when i get a job) i'll start saving up for a video card and monitor...under 350 total.
  • another advantage of the bug - you can see how much gas you have without the gauge. =)
  • running out of mp3s i want. argh.
  • never used argh before, till now.
  • relating to the movie - relationships and running is the metaphor. if one hasn't run in a while he misses it, but if during this drought of running he tries to convince himself that running another race is not in his future then, at least, he is not disappointed too much. if, however, he looks toward the next race, hoping that it could come anyday then everyday without a race is a disappointment. god only knows. beach boys.
  • saw a apple lcd monitor playing bug's life on dvd....it was had the best contrast and sharpness i've ever seen...of any monitor, maybe it was the dvd, maybe it was the scene that was playing...it was amazing. only 1300. i could have gotten it...credit is good?
  • "money brings bitches, bitches bring lies..."
  • uploaded lots of music today. uploading more than downloading is gay, unless one has ethernet or the like.
  • i'll i'm saying...not related to the above...is 'be true to yourself and you will never fall' (mike d)...do what you like, don't compromise your values, views, tastes for/because of those around you. simple as that. eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize.
  • praying for an afterlife while they steal this one. ah yes politics is great.
  • indianapolis and st. louis win.
  • (03:42)

  • 1-15-00 (02:00)

  • went to the GM's (of KDVS) 21st birthday party. it was interesting to say the least.
  • scott played drums for one of the bands that played. he was good the lead sucked. but i know nothing about music so don't take my word for it.
  • stephanie (hot chick girlfriend of GM) talked with me. i had met her before on the yolo bus, but she didn't remember. she's a poli sci major and everything else i'm sure you're interested in. the point being - i've talked to two separate girls this week, of course i didn't initiate either, but still a good building point. she goes to berkeley, but she'll break up with the GM and move in with me soon enough.
  • been getting weird hits to page. i care.
  • my eye contact when talking with new people is about the worst thing on this planet. i was fully talking to stephanie and here i go talking talking talking while looking at the tv, the chips, the ceiling, and once in a while her face. what a bad habit, what a freak. i did it so much that she basically thought i didn't want to talk with her. what a dumb fuck. should have slid her the card. yea right.
  • oh i did get her e-mail address and gave her mine...she is going to hopefully tell me about an internship program she's trying to get into...the same one (i think) that is run by daniel friedlander, whom i just met on tuesday. weird how things work out. i did all this after acting more retarded than puff daddy in a record store. whatever that means.
  • girls with boyfriends are more open and honest, more willing to talk. and thus the only girls i ever meet already have boyfriends...because what hot chick is going to talk with me unless she already has a boyfriend and has that feeling of pity that makes her look at the guy on the couch just sitting alone...and go up to him and talk. i think none of this makes sense. imperfection is what this page is all about.
  • idiot kai (lead to 'round 18' - scott's band) is and idiot.
  • do you see how i framed that sentence; see how i did it, do.
  • i am on a roll, i am.
  • this is the breakout update everyone has been hotly anticipating. a stream of consciousness, if you will. slightly altered and censored because certain individuals do read this crap of crap.
  • don't ask me about anything i've said here. don't quote me. i'm too drunk to remember any of it anyway. oops spilled the beans.
  • it should be interesting to see if anyone actually thinks i'm weak enough to ask me later if i really did drink.
  • eyes on the prize. eyes on the prize.
  • need to see magnolia again because it fucking rocks more than anything else this year. i should transfer to berkeley. nevermind. good album. nevermind that is.
  • musicians whom i know complain that the complicated shit they do goes unnoticed unless by other astute musicians. i know the feeling and offer my sympathy, but offer this - sometimes i'll spit out crazy shit like "i should transfer to berkeley. nevermind. good album." and the fact that good album actually relates to something in the previous sentence, or thought, will go unnoticed unless i add "nevermind that is."...one could argue though that those stupid little instances take no skill, but syncopation (or any other crafty musical trick) does. on, in this case, would not be entirely wrong, but just as a musician wants someone to notice their nifty manipulation of chords, beats, whatfuckingever...so does the retard who is so self-indulgent he makes a webpage revolving entirely around his life.
  • i'm absolutely positive that makes no sense.
  • one of these days some hottie will browse these pages and say to herself 'oh good lord this sad soul is just like me...he's the fucking shit' then she'll hunt me down and promptly jump my bones. to which i will reply 'insert witty phrase here'
  • they're the teachers who taught me to fight me
  • i should do something good tomorrow.
  • oh i started the malcolm x bio...starts off quick. he's the shit.
  • i was in poli sci (the presidency) and the teacher told us to introduce each other to those around us...i did so to dorian (tall, dressed in shirt/tie/slacks, and black guy) then we were to come up with someone who we felt was a leader and three qualities that made that person a good leader. we asked each other and he had no answers...neither did our other partner (a retarded looking white frat boy)...this whole time, of course, i had mine picked. besides adam yauch (who neither of the two probably would know) and maybe malcolm x (who is more controversial) there is only one other single person who i consider a great leader for me and for many others - MLK (martin luther king, for those who have forgotten already why they get monday off). they agreed, we came up with a list and afterwards dorian said the only other person he could come up with was FDR...i was down with that. frat boy remained silent, unless to turn and talk to hottie next to him. either seat next to me was empty by the way.
  • no justice no peace.
  • peace in yo middle crease. this update is larger than my left leg, erect even. whatever, freak.
  • movie streak has ended. and this monitor sucks more everyday.
  • if one reads my webpage in all its glory...archived and more recent updates...everything...one would have a very good sense of who i am. this is nifty. worth the countless hours spent? nooneknows.
  • i'm outtie. oh and sheryl crow has skills don't care what you think.

  • 1-14-00 (20:24)

  • deleted large directory from hard drive...
  • need to watch a movie.
  • while in sacramento two people commented on the peninsula jacket i was wearing...i told one that it is the only 5 star 5 diamond in southern california and he was impressed. and the other already knew how good it is.

  • 1-14-00 (01:38)

  • updated recent movies list. the streak stays alive
  • the VW community is very receptive. networking is a good way to get information.
  • there is a brotherhood among all bug owners...i've found this to be true and it's a happy thing.
  • updates are boring now.
  • CA is the place to be to get parts for your bug.
  • bugs are easy to work on, but it seems many mechanics don't like working on them.

  • 1-13-00 (02:56)

  • updated recent movies list. the streak stays alive
  • napster is the bomb.
  • not much to say. guess i'll update the schedule finally.

  • 1-12-00 (21:21)

  • listening to vinyl.
  • going to play gta, while connected to internet...never done that before.
  • bored. really.

  • 1-12-00 (01:23)

  • shadowing a lobbyist is cool. politics can be interesting.
  • talked to a girl today.
  • updated recent movies list. the streak stays alive
  • very tired...up at 6am...it's 1 now.
  • aimee mann - one and momentum...good tracks. hard to get. thanks phil for momentum.
  • got vinyl X 3 today. and new shoes. and books.
  • want to see magnolia again. magnolia is to me what rio bravo is to quentin tarantino.
  • tired still.
  • need to do english assignment still.
  • bye
  • tarantino has his dates watch rio bravo and if they don't like it then they get the boot.

  • 1-10-00 (19:48)

  • the latest dr. dre album is good overall, but a couple tracks in particular (still dre, watcher, what's the difference and forgot about dre) are really really good.
  • it's good to see a gangta rapper mature as much as dre has...i hope the rest of hip-hop follows suit.
  • first english assignment - observe someone and use details to describe them. chris translation - stalk hot chick and write first chapter to romance novel.
  • need to buy books.
  • will be shadowing maurine lobbyist chick tomorrow.

  • 1-9-00 (23:57)

  • saw matrix again. it stayed good.
  • downloading mp3s is fun. mostly getting better versions of mp3s i already have. the program i have makes it possible to see ping time, song length, and encoding quality before downloading - that is nice.
  • driving other people - especially in their car is nerve-racking.
  • sleep is bad.
  • monitor is worse.

  • 1-9-00 (02:30)

  • changed oil which was good.
  • want to see magnolia again.
  • updated recent movies list.

  • 1-6-00 (01:31)

  • dropped class...only 12 units this quarter which sucks, but it makes me exactly on pace to graduate in 4 years...so i'll need to take 15 units/quarter from now on. maybe one quarter i'll kill myself. when i have money or something.
  • speaking of $ i didn't have a spare 75 bucks to throw away for the 153 class anyway.

  • 1-6-00 (21:41)

  • rented juice tonight...will watch soon enough.
  • went looking for jobs...tower isn't hiring, neither is video southeast.
  • had the other classes today...none tomorrow.
  • there was a prereq for my 153 class that i didn't know about so i'll have to drop that class. i stayed for the first class and although the teacher seems really good i determined that we would be studying stuff i have little, if any, interest in. constitutional politics and legal justification for court decisions - boring compared to interest groups and the policy process, in my opinion. may or may not look for another class.
  • this update took two hours
  • napster.com - great for mp3 search stuff
  • updated recent movies list. pulp fiction (i saw enough for it to be added).
  • need to change oil.

  • 1-6-00 (0:20)

  • updated recent movies list. hard eight (by p.t. anderson) was added.
  • very tired.
  • life...like political science i have found...is more art than it is science. try to define as you might when you try to define art or life, alike, you only worry yourself. thought of that during the long, lonely, loud drive home.

  • 1-5-00 (18:20)

  • updated cd list.
  • updated recent movies list. any given sunday was added...forgot about it before.
  • english 5f was good...hot teacher. poli sci 123 is with my aunt's friend teaching...she seems very on top of things and serious. the rest of the classes are tomorrow.
  • summary of break - it was uneventful and busy. paradoxical, but true.

  • 1-5-00 (0:43)

  • trip up was long, loud, and lonely. the minidisc player setup works well.
  • i have lots of crap to do. need to trim nails and wash hands. it looks like i was tooling around with my car...i was.
  • listening to dark side of the moon...really good so far. wish you were here was good too. it might be tricky working pink floyd into the hierarchy.
  • updated cd list.
  • updated shoulds list. magnolia makes it...great film. p.t. anderson is really awesome.
  • updated recent movies list. do a search for "1-5-00" to find the ones i added...should be 14 of em. i'll cut to the chase for those who are lazy - see magnolia...if you have to chose only one of the 14. like anyone really fucking cares.
  • battle of los angeles is likely to be a definitive album....only time will tell.
  • great escape soundtrack is rocking.
  • updated the archives.
  • need to get a job. busy busy busy...ala cat's cradle
  • want to read A Void and Malcolm X Bio
  • that's about it. details on 'vacation' forthcoming.