5-30-01 (01:55)
  • my alarm clock doesn't work anymore for some reason.
  • not going to update for the next few days because of the trip.
  • here's a good howard zinn article...

  • Whom Will We Honor Memorial Day?

    by Howard Zinn Memorial Day will be celebrated ... by the usual betrayal of the dead, by the hypocritical patriotism of the politicians and contractors preparing for more wars, more graves to receive more flowers on future Memorial Days. The memory of the dead deserves a different dedication. To peace, to defiance of governments.

    In 1974, I was invited by Tom Winship, the editor of the Boston Globe, who had been bold enough in 1971 to print part of the top secret Pentagon Papers on the history of the Vietnam War, to write a bi-weekly column for the op-ed page of the newspaper. I did that for about a year and a half. The column below appeared June 2, 1976, in connection with that year's Memorial Day. After it appeared, my column was canceled.

    * * * * *

    Memorial Day will be celebrated as usual, by high-speed collisions of automobiles and bodies strewn on highways and the sound of ambulance sirens throughout the land.

    It will also be celebrated by the display of flags, the sound of bugles and drums, by parades and speeches and unthinking applause.

    It will be celebrated by giant corporations, which make guns, bombs, fighter planes, aircraft carriers and an endless assortment of military junk and which await the $100 billion in contracts to be approved soon by Congress and the President.

    There was a young woman in New Hampshire who refused to allow her husband, killed in Vietnam, to be given a military burial. She rejected the hollow ceremony ordered by those who sent him and 50,000 others to their deaths. Her courage should be cherished on Memorial Day. There were the B52 pilots who refused to fly those last vicious raids of Nixon's and Kissinger's war. Have any of the great universities, so quick to give honorary degrees to God-knows-whom, thought to honor those men at this Commencement time, on this Memorial Day?

    No politician who voted funds for war, no business contractor for the military, no general who ordered young men into battle, no FBI man who spied on anti-war activities, should be invited to public ceremonies on this sacred day. Let the dead of past wars he honored. Let those who live pledge themselves never to embark on mass slaughter again.

    "The shell had his number on it. The blood ran into the ground...Where his chest ought to have been they pinned the Congressional Medal, the DSC, the Medaille Militaire, the Belgian Croix de Guerre, the Italian gold medal, The Vitutea Militara sent by Queen Marie of Rumania. All the Washingtonians brought flowers .. Woodrow Wilson brought a bouquet of poppies."

    Those are the concluding lines of John Dos Passos angry novel 1919. Let us honor him on Memorial Day.

    And also Thoreau, who went to jail to protest the Mexican War.

    And Mark Twain, who denounced our war against the Filipinos at the turn of the century.

    And I.F. Stone, who virtually alone among newspaper editors exposed the fraud and brutality of the Korean War.

    Let us honor Martin Luther King, who refused the enticements of the White House, and the cautions of associates, and thundered against the war in Vietnam.

    Memorial Day should be a day for putting flowers on graves and planting trees. Also, for destroying the weapons of death that endanger us more than they protect us, that waste our resources and threaten our children and grandchildren.

    On Memorial Day we should take note that, in the name of "defense," our taxes have been used to spend a quarter of a billion dollars on a helicopter assault ship called "the biggest floating lemon," which was accepted by the Navy although it had over 2,000 major defects at the time of its trial cruise.

    Meanwhile, there is such a shortage of housing that millions live in dilapidated sections of our cities and millions more are forced to pay high rents or high interest rates on their mortgages. There's 90 billion for the B1 bomber, but people don't have money to pay hospital bills.

    We must be practical, say those whose practicality has consisted of a war every generation. We mustn't deplete our defenses. Say those who have depleted our youth, stolen our resources. In the end, it is living people, not corpses, creative energy, not destructive rage, which are our only real defense, not just against other governments trying to kill us, but against our own, also trying to kill us.

    Let us not set out, this Memorial Day, on the same old drunken ride to death.

    5-30-01 (01:07)

  • got a really good baseball game going on right now...wish i could see it. bottom of the 18th. bases loaded. giants are down by 1. santiago is hitting...two outs. two strikes one ball. obviously they need to score here. benito is has fouled off the last two pitches. they just lost. fuck.
  • have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow.
  • money mark is good.
  • been playing more frisbee golf lately.
  • gotta get some sleep and pack some stuff for the weekend getaway.

  • 5-29-01 (14:13)

  • talked to edward at work last night about philosophy and work went by really really quickly. never would have thought that he'd be interested in that kind of stuff.
  • i'm going to play more frisbee golf from now on. also should play some more basketball.
  • thinking too much can be bad. at some point you need to just act. when you act you can't constantly question your actions. at the same time you can't go through life without thought and reflection. balance is key.
  • leaving for la tomorrow night. i need to get some people to sub for me at work.
  • i think that our brains get locked in certain patterns or habits. whether it be musically or just thought about a certain subject. that's why it's important to listen to new stuff (free jazz for example) and think about things in new ways. at the very least this is what philosophy does.

  • 5-28-01 (01:40)

  • updated movies list.
  • went to sacramento yesterday and checked out some of the jazz festival and old sacramento. some good stuff. picked up some salt water taffy and it wasn't as good as the stuff from santa cruz.
  • speaking of which...johnny came by for what amounted to less than a day. we played lots of frisbee and frisbee golf.
  • phil came over today and we played frisbee golf. i lost my frisbee.
  • this week is going to be short...no school on monday. long day tuesday. medium day wednesday and leave for la that night.
  • plenty to say, but it's too late.

  • 5-25-01 (20:42)

  • knew lakers were going to win, but i didn't think it would be by so many points. needless to say they've been playing pretty well.
  • i guess johnny is coming up this weekend, but only for a day or something.
  • played some basketball tonight. that was fun.
  • have to pick up melanie in 30 mins or so.
  • need to start looking for a place to live now.

  • 5-25-01 (15:37)

  • melanie got into davis so i don't have to worry about that anymore.
  • the autechre album which i finally got around to buying is great.
  • woke up on the early side today and went to work. then had class.
  • it's not hot outside today at all. it's warm, but not hot...i like.
  • going to have lunch with my fifth grade teacher next saturday. that should be interesting, but good.
  • after the lakers win the next two games and complete their third consecutive sweep we should start getting stats on the best playoff records in history. last year they only lost a handfull. the bulls only lost a few at their height...i wonder what the best playoff record ever was. i don't think any team has gone undefeated in the playoffs, but, as always, i could be wrong.
  • going to play some basketball after i finish digesting this breakfast burrito feast i just had.
  • i'm going to try really really hard to have perfect posture for a while and see if that helps. for the most part i've been only trying half of the time. it's really frustrating to have a body that doesn't work, especially at 21. can't wait until i'm 45 and falling apart and slow and out of shape even more than i am now.
  • learned about the asteroid belt and jupiter today. mars is really interesting. i like the teacher and i like taking the class pass/no pass.

  • 5-25-01 (00:49)

  • watched tv and ate a lot.
  • pretty warm tonight.

  • 5-24-01 (15:19)

  • finished the lame paper.
  • updated cdlist.
  • back bugs as much as it ever does. no end in sight.
  • warm today, but overall okay.
  • have work in 40 minutes.
  • have 2 hours of work tomorrow also, forgot about those.
  • not doing so great lately.

  • 5-24-01 (00:40)

  • played basketball today, that was good and fun.
  • saw jon today and got the typical shit from him.
  • updated movies list.
  • have a paper due tomorrow, 4 pages to go. it's actually two separate papers, but he's counting it as one with two sections. kinda dumb.
  • learned more about mars today. cool stuff.
  • haven't been able to upload my webpage much lately which is annoying. i don't update that much these days anyway.
  • still don't know what the deal is for next year. don't really care at this point.
  • tomorrow is going to be even cooler, mid 80s maybe.
  • watched seinfeld today.
  • have mostly been just thinking about how disgusted with people i am in general. despite all my disgust i don't think i complain too much. i've just come to expect it.
  • phil decided to get drunk instead of hang out with me tonight.
  • need to watch the movies i borrowed from my dad before i go down there.
  • while i'm in la johnny is going to be in davis.
  • throughout my life i've found that i don't relate to very many people.
  • melanie needs some claratin.
  • i need to work on this paper.

  • 5-23-01 (18:27)

  • marv albert and stock market experts are stupid. shaq makes four free throws in a row and declares that shaqs free throw woes are over. the stock market has a few good days in a row and stock market experts declare the slump is over.
  • it was in the 80s today and people were still bitching.

  • 5-22-01 (23:15)

  • i want to play basketball everyday, but i have work, have no one to play with, and it's too hot during the day.
  • my back will never get better. going to physical therapy didn't do anything. i'm better off just doing things myself.
  • got my race relations midterm back today and that was satisfactory.
  • too much stuff to do these days.
  • i have nothing to talk about.
  • i'm going down to la next weekend.
  • this whole business with my back has really gotten me down. i can't wait for it to cool off a bit so i can play basketball.
  • nothing seems to help my back consistently. it was pretty good for a couple of days, but i can't figure out what i did differently those couple of days.
  • i'm worried about graduating, a trip which may or may not happen, going to la, my classes, my back, the heat, money, and now health insurance for next year.
  • i wish i just have pain free time to do nothing while i'm young and it's still allowed. gone are the days when people can just live for themselves...i think that's a shame. don't read that as it's a shame that people can't be selfish anymore. it's just that people have to answer to their work, their lovers, etc. more than they used to. i think.
  • i don't like shaving. i don't like being unshaven.
  • it's probably going to end up that i can't get anyone to sublease the apartment so i'll end up having to pay rent and store my stuff anyway. what a waste and a pain.
  • going to go shopping again.
  • hopefully this weekend i can relax and play/watch basketball. maybe it'll help my back.

  • 5-20-01

  • can't even upload my webpage lately. lame.
  • updated movies list.
  • saw the philly/toronto game, that was a good one.
  • clippers got the second pick in the draft, that's really sweet.
  • updated cdlist.
  • back has been feeling better.
  • have a paper due on thursday.
  • have physical therapy tomorrow morning

  • 5-18-01 (14:44)

  • haven't been able to upload my webpage since last night. kind of annoying.
  • i'm really really hungry. i eat too much and so my stomach has gotten bigger and gets hungry more often now.
  • fridays are better than most other days.
  • it's amazing to me how easily my friends find girlfriends. vern litterally had someone call him up today to offer to hook him up with some chick.
  • wanted to play basketball today, but there was only one guy on the courts. maybe i'll go later.
  • phil isn't doing so great.
  • i'm a strange character in a lot of ways.
  • i'm bored and hungry.
  • it's pretty warm outside.
  • my back isn't too horrible, but sitting always makes it worse...one reason i update less frequently these days.

  • 5-17-01 (22:16)

  • updated movies list.
  • life gets more hectic every day.
  • my friends are different from me.
  • sometimes i just think that i'm a burden on people.
  • i need to do lots of things and don't really have the drive to do them.
  • weather has been good.
  • played basketball yesterday after work and it was fun. went to play today, but there didn't seem to be any good games so i went home.
  • overall not a big fan of paul van dyk.
  • i've got all sorts of money coming and going out for next year's rent, the trip, and living expenses. still think i'm broke overall.
  • bush is retarded.
  • fact: if everyone were like me when it comes to energy conservation then we'd be better off. then again i am my mother's son.
  • people are mostly hopeless.
  • going to la next next wednesday night staying until sunday.
  • if i bought a vw bus then i could live in it and, like daniel c. miller (from the hitchhiking trip), i'd always have a place to crash if the "old lady" kicked me out.
  • when it comes to reading, i dabble. i've read parts of about 20 books this week. sadly i never read more than a couple pages from each. i like to get a taste of a certain idea or theme or event and let it ruminate for a bit. maybe later i get back to it.
  • bought some ny yankees tickets today.
  • at the very least post-modernism brings to the fore the idea that it is very hard, maybe impossible, to separate your experiences from your perception of reality (?). modernism attempts to do this by suggesting reason can lead you to objective answers about how the world works, but this is a fallacy which has caused more grief than i care to discuss. the truth is that everyone has great difficulty separating their experience from the truth (?) of things. i'm reminded of the greek philosopher pyrrho. you fill in the blanks.
  • it bugs when someone says they're not good at something when they know they are. i had a friend named james nash who would always say he didn't do well on a test and when the scores were released it was always the case that he did very well. after awhile it got pretty old hearing his bullshit sad sop stories.
  • to be honest with you i really don't care if i'm getting a true representation of a philosopher's work. when i read about the philosophy of joe blow i don't really mind if he is being misunderstood or misrepresented. this is true for two reasons: a) i don't take to heart what one source says about a person's work...e.g. nietzsche's will-to-power says blah blah blah, ergo he was a nazi sympathizer. b) i'm more concerned about the ideas being presented, not who is presenting them. thus if i was introduced to nietzsche as being a psycho nazi i honestly think that i would have viewed his philosophy the same way that i did knowing that he was neither of those things. i know that i will eventually discover the truth about a person. so even if i was introduced to nietzsche's ideas as coming from a nazi i would eventually have found an alternate source which would have set the record straight. and if the ideas are interesting enough i would just consult the primary material anyway.
  • i've always been down with spike lee. i just assume that everything he does is genius. i'm the same way with kubrick. they both use music really really well. and it doesn't hurt that they both have good taste in music. one can use bad music appropriately, but when one uses stevie wonder, public enemy, beethoven, the trashmen, strauss and others it certainly does help a film. scorsese hits up some quality music as well. i'll end the list there before it gets stupid long.
  • my back felt mostly good today, tomorrow will be bad for sure.
  • heard good things about the new depeche mode album.
  • been hearing really great great great things about the tool album.
  • "victory is a process, not an event"

  • 5-15-01 (15:36)

  • been pretty busy lately. been trying to get ready for june because it's going to be huge.
  • money is spent before i even get it. that sucks.
  • got my two free tickets to the movie theater today.
  • listening to a philip glass cd and it sounds a lot like the soundtrack to koyaanisqatsi, but it isn't. i guess he just recycled some of the stuff from this cd when doing the koyaanisqatsi soundtrack. actually i think it would be the other way around because of chronology, but you get the point.
  • updated movies list.

  • 5-14-01 (02:16)

  • updated movies list.
  • long day tomorrow.
  • kings lost. lakers look better than the spurs which means they'll probably repeat.
  • i think it's really sad that we only appreciate people after they die. if you care about me tell me so before i'm gone and buried (or burned).
  • had some really good ice cream today.
  • work went pretty quickly.
  • actually haven't done much lately. i've worked, watched basketball, and slept.
  • went bowling last night, broke 100.
  • graduation is in a month and three days.
  • hoop dreams is a great film.
  • there are a lot of things about human behavior that make me really sad.

  • 5-11-01 (22:34)

  • well, what did i tell you about the kings game..."take rick fox out of his game and we win no problem. shaq gets under 18 rebounds and we win. kobe gets under 20 and we win. webber shoots 50% and we win. uncle pete gets 4+ 3 pointers and we win. jason williams gets 12 or more points and 3 or more assists and we win. we get under 15 turnovers and we win. if any of those things happen then i think we'll win. there are lots of things we can do to win, we just need to do them." and what did we do? rick fox had 3 steals, 11 points, and 4 rebounds and peja (who fox was guarding) had only 14 points - that's not taking fox out of his game. shaq got exactly 18 rebounds. kobe had 16 points MORE than 20. webber went 13-27 = less than 50%. uncle pete took 4 three pointers and missed them all. jason williams only had 2 points, but 4 assists. and we had 16 turnovers. ergo, i was right.
  • on the positive side...we did out rebound them. vlade had a good game. webber played alright. we limited shaq offensively.
  • would have liked to see the raptors game...vince carter had an amazing game.
  • the kings game made me really sad.
  • it's kinda funny that if you buy into science you buy into the "fact" that the only reason we're here is because life came from pools of water near heat sources (though there is new evidence that points to life coming from asteroids)...and that we evolved only because the last mass extinction happened to wipe out the reptiles and allow for the rise of tha mammals.
  • something like 90% of the world's richest nations also have the greatest access to natural resources. i know that there are studies and figures on this, but i don't have them in front of me. the u.s. is the most obvious example since we have all but only a few resources on the planet. japan would be the obvious exception to the rule.

  • 5-11-01 (18:38)

  • kings game is more near than ever.
  • went to the whole earth festival today. saw dungey there.
  • the u.s. got kicked off the human rights committee in the UN so we (congress) decided to withhold some of our past due dues...to teach them a lesson. congress is stupid.
  • saw a 1971 bus for sale...2500 bucks and it's got a pretty nice camping package, a new new new engine (less than 1,000 miles on it - with a warranty of 10,000/1 year) and lots of other stuff. the guy is moving to CT so i'm going to weigh the pros and cons and maybe i'll end up selling the escort and buying the bus. more than likely just a pipe dream.
  • buses are very cool. but they don't have a/c. they don't get as good gas mileage. you can sleep in them. it's got a refrigerator. they're air cooled (hence they overheat more easily). they're not fuel injected. carbs are sucky.
  • so when you "pimp out" or sup up your honda civic you're generally looked at as foolish (at least when it comes to the people i hang out with). but if you pimp out your vw bug then it's cooler. why? the bug is just the 60s version of the civic - reliable, small, ubiquitous...so here's my theory...a) when you fix up a bug it's cool because it's an old car and fixing up old cars is just cooler in general. b) when you fix up a bug the chances are that you actually worked on it since they're so easy to work on.
  • went to the davis enterprise and i should get my tickets in the mail soon enough. melanie was the one with the brilliant idea to do the trivia thing in the first place so really she should get most of the credit.
  • i'm going to rest my back and try to stay cool. the kings game is going to be great.

  • 5-11-01 (13:24)

  • kings game in 6 hours.
  • teresa, an old friend, called yesterday and might be coming to davis for the weekend. that would be cool.
  • last week melanie and i entered a contest with the davis enterprise where you had to match a quote from a movie to its respective movie. this week melanie looked in the paper and it said "last week's expert on classic lines was Chris Miller, who wins a pair of passes good at..." so i'm going to goto the davis enterprise and claim our two free movie tickets. very cool.
  • got a bunch of food today, yum.
  • got my cbest information today.
  • gotta start planning a bit more for the trip sometime soon.

  • 5-11-01 (02:00)

  • it's too bad that we find ourselves so caught up in image that we can't buy a great piece of artwork by dali, van gogh, or escher, just because "everyone else has one." at least in my age group i've found that it's taboo to buy a print of starry night by van gogh or the persistence of time by dali or waterfall by escher, all because they've become popular. i find that i do the same thing myself and it's really really stupid. i remember liking starry night by van gogh since mr. manitzas introduced it to me in the fifth grade. then i get to college and realize that everyone's got a print of it so i hold off on buying it myself. kinda lame. i think with age this idea that in order to be cool you have to be original will fade.
  • updated movies list.
  • played galaga in between class and work today, that was really fun, cheap, and an overall good way to kill time.
  • talked to dungey briefly today. talked about derrida. that's some heavy shit.
  • paid some bills. that's some heavy shit.
  • it's pretty hot these days.
  • kings play tomorrow and sunday. i don't know where i got the idea that they were playing today.
  • working for vern on saturday.
  • phil came by yesterday. finally gave him his xmas present.
  • "xmas" = christmas...why? "x" = cross? cross = symbol of christ? christ+mas...seems to be the only logic i can apply to it and it seems far-fetched and a bit morbid.
  • religion is morbid.
  • watched 'do the right thing' again today. very good film.
  • melanie had a bad day.
  • tuesdays and thursdays feel long.
  • i like the gandhi quote, that's why i haven't replaced it.
  • made ice cream today and it came out really really wrong. don't know what i did. oh well.
  • gas is expensive.
  • there's a guy who writes for the school paper who has an article named "the right angle." obviously i disagree with most of the things he writes about. or i should say, i disagree with his views on those things he writes about. he was complaining about gas prices reaching three bucks by the end of the year and how outrageous he thought that was. republicans are so backwards. so are democrats, but at least they seem to care a little bit more about people. he wants us to drill the fuck out of alaska because he doesn't think americans should have to compromise their lifestyle. bush agrees...his press secretary said the other day that the president doesn't feel americans should have to change their lifestyles when it came to the energy crisis. that's just dumb. turn off the fucking lights, don't be so western.
  • a judge has decided to stop the clinton proposal which was going to ban development in something like 58 million acres of federally owned forest land. from what i have gathered, the judge thinks it would cause irreversible damage to ban development in those areas. everything i've ever learned in my life has shown that irreversible damage comes from destroying forests, not from trying to save them. again, backward thinking. it just seems a lot easier to build a road and develop industry in an area than to restore a forest.
  • in class the other day my professor was talking about joint ventures and how they allow investors to invest in more things than if they were to invest without others to share the risk. he described it as being "able to stick their fingers in as many pies as possible." hmmm.
  • going to sleep now.

  • 5-9-01 (19:09)

  • "labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration." - abraham lincoln
  • "ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat" - will rogers, 1931
  • "the history of a nation is, unfortunately, too easily written as the history of its dominate class" - kwame nkrumah
  • "as long as you are convinced you have never done anything, you can never do anything." - malcolm x
  • "by idolizing those whom we honor, we do a disservice both to them and to ourselves...we fail to recognize that we could go and do likewise" - charles v. willie
  • kings game tomorrow and then sunday. i'll be able to watch both of them. i expect them to win the next one handily and the one after that will be harder. take rick fox out of his game and we win no problem. shaq gets under 18 rebounds and we win. kobe gets under 20 and we win. webber shoots 50% and we win. uncle pete gets 4+ 3 pointers and we win. jason williams gets 12 or more points and 3 or more assists and we win. we get under 15 turnovers and we win. if any of those things happen then i think we'll win. there are lots of things we can do to win, we just need to do them.
  • so bush has proposed a bunch of justices which look (for the most part) to be fairly backward thinking idiots. yay.
  • had my midterm today and that wasn't as good as it should have been. should have studied more.
  • fucking new jersey beat toronto, i hope they don't repeat. i hope the la kings win tonight.
  • the headline is "World Bank says urgent action needed on poverty"...within the article a quote..."``The size of the task (of reducing poverty) is immense,'' the bank's chief economist, Nicholas Stern, told a news conference at which the report was released." hmmm. duh.
  • more people die while watching football (soccer) games than while being shot at school, so what's all the fuss? har har.

  • 5-9-01 (11:08)

  • if i lived in cuba my back would feel better by now.
  • had a midterm yesterday and a paper due the day before that. i have another midterm in two hours. whoop whoop.
  • been pretty hot lately.
  • with all this energy crisis crap i think i'm going to leave california for a couple months.
  • have lots of stuff to do in order to get ready for the trip and get ready for whatever it is i'm going to do about my teaching career.
  • have lots of bills to pay.
  • kings lost last night and they could have won. they play two games in sacramento, then one in la, then one in sacramento, then the last one in la. i was wrong...i thought it was 2-3-2, but it's 2-2-1-1-1. i guess it's hockey that plays their seven game series 2-3-2. maybe baseball too.
  • the lakers won't win the championship next year. the rule changes will affect them more than most teams.
  • getting hungry.
  • is post-modernism philosophy? what is philosophy? i think that most philosophers would like to discount post-modernism as a pessimistic critique of philosophy which is largely without purpose and thus not worth one's time. utility and truth guide modern philosophy and since post-modernism claims there is no truth and says that utility is contextual and power-centric they probably don't take too kindly to post-modernists trying to deconstruct everything they've been working towards since plato. post-moderns of course would say that really they're not working towards anything because that implies that there is some higher plain of existence with which we must come in contact (through reason)...it's pretty dangerous to put science and knowledge under the guise of "finding truth" because, just like religion or marxist thought, it becomes an issue of power. those with the "knowledge" those who are able to canonize are the same people who have power. they claim it's grounded in a highest good called "knowledge" or "reason," but the results are the same - separation between those with the power and those without...and what's more is that they justify this separation by claiming yet another form of "truth." so it leaves me wondering what's the difference between claiming reason and scientific thought as a truth and claiming god as truth? it seems to me that many of the results are the same.

  • 5-7-01 (15:37)

  • if a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing right. that's how i feel about "friends" (not the tv show). if you have a friend who isn't worth talking to when you see them on campus, then they're not worth having.
  • wore a rage against the machine t-shirt - nothing new for me, but what made it interesting was that two separate times i got a comment on it. one chick just looked at my shirt and said "that's what i'm talking about" and another said "nice shirt." it's good to see people who appreciate politics.
  • my mom referred me to this website. it's two guys who want their college education sponsored by bored internet browsers. you can always tell how intelligent a person is by how many exclamation marks they use.
  • the internet is so boring!
  • it's really hot outside!
  • i have work from 6-11 tonight. that's going to really suck!

  • 5-7-01 (11:10)

  • not going to finish this paper in time.
  • don't get any email these days.
  • melanie is at work.
  • i'm more worried about the test i have tomorrow than i am about the paper i have due in 50 minutes.
  • have a lot of bills to pay.
  • get paid this week.
  • jonique came over the other day.
  • need to call phil.
  • there's a lot more to do in davis than one would think. you just need to look for it.
  • hope the kings win tomorrow. i might get to watch the last 15 minutes or so.
  • slept a few hours this morning.
  • science papers are boring.
  • i should go work on that paper.

  • 5-6-01 (15:14)

  • played basketball on thursday and last night.
  • watched part of the kings game today and that was a bit depressing. they only lost by three, but they didn't play like they should have. too many turnovers not enough assists.
  • have a paper due tomorrow. test tuesday, test wednesday.
  • guess johnny has more or less moved on. suppose that's good.
  • haven't been updating enough lately.
  • had lunch with my aunt, uncle, and cousin. i know now why a true democracy won't ever work. it took us way too long to decide where we were going to eat. fairly annoying.
  • need to eat.
  • been busy lately and that sucks.

  • 5-5-01 (12:02)

  • updated movies list. finally saw memento...very good. lends itself well to philosophical discussion.
  • it's always best to watch a movie without knowing anything about it before hand.
  • my aunt is coming soon to get me lunch.
  • have a midterm and a paper on monday and another midterm on tuesday.
  • simcity 2000 is too easy in the 'easy' level and too hard in the 'hard' level.
  • i'd like to see memento again and talk about it with someone who likes to talk about philosophy.
  • in two months i'll be 22. i'll also be in montana or some such state.
  • the spurs should win today. game will be on at 330.
  • didn't go to the bike auction.
  • washed the car last night.
  • going to check the mail and listen to the who.

  • 5-4-01 (11:38)

  • updated movies list.
  • probably going to go out and look for some places to live today.
  • i've been waking up earlier these days and once i wake up it seems like i can't go to sleep again.
  • might get into the 90s by early next week.
  • fridays are good.
  • i can't believe that dallas came back against the jazz.
  • didn't do too badly on my geology test. kinda thought about taking it for a grade and taking my race relations class pass/no pass, but i don't know if i can do that since it's one of only five classes for my minor.
  • need to wash the car sometime soon.

  • 5-3-01 (13:35)

  • fucking wind.
  • my back felt fine in the morning and then i spent 45 minutes in the car and it started to hurt.
  • i'm going to eat, take my drugs and rest my back.
  • bought a book for class today.
  • i'm broke.
  • next week i have a paper due and two midterms. this quarter sucks and i care less than i ever have.
  • i just want my back to be better.
  • the kings won by 7, guess who called that one...it was a great game.
  • i'm going to eat now.

  • 5-2-01 (18:15)

  • windy as all hell today.
  • kings are going to play in a little over an hour. i think it'll be a close game, but i think they'll end up winning by 3-7 points.
  • listening to tool is probably bad for my psyche.
  • need to find out about carl jung.
  • talked to dungey today. he might end up working at ucsb. if not then he plans on writing or doing some such thing.
  • had the doctor's appt. today and got x-rayed...nothing wrong there, which is good. he gave me some drugs and told me i should get physical therapy a few times a week for a month. that's probably not going to happen since it's probably expensive. overall the visit didn't do much for me. ensured me that it was a muscle thing (which is one thing i already knew) and told me that physical therapy would help (duh). so maybe i'll start swimming or doing rowing exercises or something. any way you slice it it's pretty retarded.
  • it's a good thing to have work or school most days of the week because it gets me out of bed (or off the floor, as it were).
  • could goto arco arena and watch the game with 17,000 other fans on big tv screens there, but i doubt that i'm going to do that.
  • going to play some sim city 2k.
  • updated movies list.
  • got fargo on dvd the other day.

  • 5-1-01 (16:01)

  • normative statements should be outlawed.
  • it's really easy to get into a mindset that dooms the future to match the past. usually we do it without even noticing. it's really easy for me to say that i'm not going to get an A in a class because i hardly ever get As. or when someone asks if i studied for a test i give the standard answer "i don't study." i've gottn trapped into this conception of what my identity is...part of my perceived identity is being someone who doesn't really study, but it could be a lot of things for a lot of people. it could be "i'm a fuck up...so i'm always going to be that way." or "i've never had a good relationship...so i probably never will." the problem is that we usually don't consciously make the statement which follows "..." we usually just say "i'm a fuck up" or "i've never had a good relationship" and we allow our actions to be constrained by what naturally follows that train of thought. that's why it's important to forget. that's why it's important to actively work through the past. learn from it, certainly, but don't dwell on it.
  • i'm going to eat and play simcity 2000.
  • i can't believe we don't have a cheese grater. what makes it even more funny is that we didn't even notice it until just a few days ago.
  • need to watch the sting and music man sometime soon.
  • have to wake up early tomorrow for the back appt.
  • have to wake up early on saturday for the bike auction.
  • waking up early sucks.
  • melanie works the next 3 or 4 days in a row. that's good because she'll make some money.
  • i need to make some money so i can pay for next year's rent.

  • 5-1-01 (01:08)

  • updated archives.
  • updated movies list.
  • my aunt should be coming this weekend.
  • have a doctor's appt. for my back on wednesday. have a paper due tomorrow...just a couple pages, but i need to read first.
  • ice cream hasn't been as good as the store bought stuff, but i'm working on several options. i'll get a system down eventually.
  • might watch memento this week.
  • have a geology paper (first draft) due next monday. had a test today.
  • spurs are looking very good.
  • doug christie, of the kings, reminds me a lot of scottie pippen. that's a good thing.
  • i really like the soundtrack to the good, the bad and the ugly.
  • it's may and that means that it's a month away from june. i graduate in june. i move out in june. i begin a cross-country trip in june. june is going to be huge.
  • i think about the trip less these days. for the most part that's good.
  • i can't seem to read the things i'm supposed to. i was at work and picked up plenty of books, none of them happened to be what i was assigned to read. i should be reading for this paper i have due tomorrow.
  • going to the bike auction this weekend. might pick up melanie a bike. hopefully it'll be a half way decent bike and i'll make it wholly decent by fixing it up. we shall see.
  • don't spend much time on the computer these days.
  • probably because i spend more time eating. i had breakfast and lunch today.
  • luke is a funny guy.
  • i'm not going to cash my tax refund until june.
  • that's about the extent of the excitement in my life.
  • phil stopped by today, but i was at work.
  • "god save the queen. the fascist regime..."