11-30-00 (21:41)
  • was just thinking yesterday that i sure do update my webpage a shitload. johnny thinks i don't. or should i say, not as often as i once did.
  • i should watch a movie.
  • i've really shit away the last hour or so.
  • "Clinton Declares Self President For Life"
    11-30-00 (20:30)
  • there are a few things that make my blood boil like none other. saw some video in class the other day about african-americans in society and of course they showed news clips of blacks getting the shit beat out of them by cops/white people on the street or in restaurants for no reason. makes me so sick i can't begin to explain it.
  • the other thing is the wwf. god what utter garbage it is. conflicts are solved through violence. women are subservient, unequal (except in their likelihood to be beaten) and taken for granted. authority figures aren't given any respect, rules are broken, bent and shit upon. sad sick world.
  • also watched something about ecstacy on tv. i hate drugs.
  • read part of a jared diamond book (third chimpanze) which talked about drug use and self-destruction of various types. the reason i picked it up was because i recognized his name after my grandmother mentioned him. the reason i read some of the book was because he talked a lot about sex and sexual behavior as it relates to our base nature. i take it that he's an anthropologist of sorts because he talks a lot about the orgins of behavior as they evolved from primordial times or how they relate to the behavior of other animals. what interested me the most, though, was when he talked about drug use...he talked about it as a method of escape only briefly and concentrated on another possible cause for drug use and the like. he suggested that when people are able to harm themselves and still appear strong or virile it makes them seem all the more attractive. he likened this to several animal species and their acceptance of handicaps like extraordinarily long plumes or tails which would hinder the average bird/whatnot. he said that when a person is able to dring themselves to oblivion and take it then they are more attractive. mind you he spent an entire chapter on this theory and a) i didn't read it all and b) i'm not as eloquent as him so if none of this makes sense then there's good reason, and that reason is me. it's an interesting theory and here's how i related it to my own drug experiences, er something. after being hit by a couple cars while biking and living to tell the tale i kinda look fondly on the experience. almost look at myself as a stronger person because i've been hurt physically before and i'm still a well-functioning person.
  • it makes sense to me, but then again i've been thinking about it for a couple days and i actually read it from someone who had gathered his thoughts before spouting them onto the page. at any rate, you should read some of that stuff if you happen to work in a library and are bored.
  • 41 movies to go, 31 days to go. this is what i had kinda anticipated, but hoped wouldn't happen. i can do it, yes, but it's just going to take some discipline over the break.
  • work from 4-6 tomorrow and 12-3 on saturday and 6-10 on sunday. that's 9 hours i wouldn't normally have - good for money - bad for freedom, schoolwork and wanking off time.
  • film paper (5-7 pages) due monday. popular culture quiz on tuesday. probably leave for santa cruz on friday. get back monday (11th). pop culture paper (7 pages) due tuesday 12th. war final tuesday 12th. film final tuesday 12th. dungey take home final due no later than wednesday 13th at 2pm. leave for LA 5:50 pm wednesday.
  • so, if i managed my time like i did my money then i'd probably have 2 fails, an incomplete, and 1 D.
  • so, i should pick two films i want to write about and watch them before work tomorrow. then i should goto work. then i should come home and write up a little outline for my film essay. then i should goto a party and get drunk. saturday i should goto work a bit hung over and work on my essay after work. sunday i should read until 6pm, goto work until ten. polish up the essay and then goto sleep. monday night i should read the outline i will have made on the reading i will have done for the popular culture class. then wednesday and thursday i should write my pop culture paper and study for my war class final. then while in santa cruz i should have fun and study a couple hours a day for my war and film finals. somewhere in there i should finish my take home final for dungey's class.
  • such a joker. i wonder how i'll actually end up doing it all.
  • remember that tirade on inertia/habit and power? thought of a good way to summarize some of my thoughts on my theory of inertia - "momentum" the song on the magnolia soundtrack touches upon it pretty nicely.
  • music so much more eloquent than i'll ever be.
  • 11-30-00 (00:46)
  • easily the fastest month of the year.
  • luke never updates his page. when he does the updates are short.
  • listening to elvis costello.
  • have two small small tiny papers due tomorrow. i'm a very bad student in most every way. hope i can be a good teacher. hope i become a teacher. hope i don't fail as a person.
  • damn it's hard to change.
  • why are there so many negative thoughts in my head?
  • shit! forgot to take my paxil today.

  • 11-29-00 (21:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • december last year was the shits. too much work. this year's december could shape up to be about as bad, but in a different way. gotta make a trip to santa cruz. have four finals in two days. have 40 films to watch. have plenty of moving around in LA to do and no vehicle for it.
  • watched part of the beastie boys dvds today, there are two of em. so much stuff on them it's insane. insanely good. director and band commentary. a good number and range of videos. multiple angles and soundtracks to choose from. pictures, storyboards, misc. information, behind the scenes type of stuff, etc. very cool.
  • had to buy a battery for the camera today. kind of a rip off, but what's a man supposed to do; i gotsta take pictures.
  • by request, updated wish list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • no rain while i was awake so i don't count it for today.
  • 11-29-00 (00:49)
  • film teacher talked about planes, trains, and automobiles being one of his favorite comedies. damn that guy rocks the house. of course it's my favorite all time comedy.
  • jon bought a car.
  • have lots to say, but i never have time. tomorrow i'll have more time.
  • got the beastie boys dvd today. thanks phil.
  • need to come up with some financial plans so i don't leave college with debt. or something.
  • updated movies list.
  • listening to jagjit singh right now. very peaceful. mike d would be proud.
  • i don't know very much about very much.
  • gotta sleep.

  • 11-27-00 (20:55)

  • played basketball while i was in LA, that was some fun stuff. good to get back to it a little after such a drought.
  • yea, the drought is over. what fun.
  • been trying to think of some common traits among my friends. i think the big one would be sense of humor. i guess i agree with most of them politically in a broad sense too. but those are about the only two i can come up with.
  • i think a lot of life is about finding balance. i used to think that it was really important to be self-sufficient. i realize now that it's not as important as i once thought. sure it's important to be able to do things for yourself, but it's not good to think you have to do everything yourself. may seem obvious to some, but that's just because you are wise beyond your years, i'm still learning. seriously though, balance is important. sure white people are the devil, but not all of them, you gotta realize that. well, something along those lines.
  • vern hooked up the blur best of cd (two cd set) so i'm 8 away from 500 now. super phat. working at tower records definitely has it's advantages. he gets a bunch of old magazines and posters for free too.
  • track 9 is playing - tender. great song, still.
  • going to eat some turkey, on the sandwich tip, yo.

  • 11-27-00 (11:49)

  • got on the plane a little late. checked in baggage late, but it still got on the same plane so that was good luck.
  • thanksgiving dinner was pretty kick ass. my grandparents are the only sane people left in my family.
  • foggy and ugly in davis today, stark contrast to the sunny southern california. that's the best thing about socal. fair weather is a plus in my book since i like to be able to go outside in shorts and a t-shirt as much as possible.
  • got my beatles cd in the mail.
  • got to see my dad while i was home. borrowed 6 movies, big bonus.
  • watched meet the parents, ergo i updated movieslist.
  • vern cleaned the house. some crazy, but good, shit.
  • updated cdlist.
  • this was by far the best thanksgiving vacation of my life.

  • 11-21-00 (19:37)

  • all set. dropped off videos. jonique coming to provide ride in an hour.
  • power and inertia. was thinking about those while on my bike to the video store. they can both take on scientific meaning in the natural world, and thus seem to add something interesting to my upcoming thoughts. much of life can be brought to power and inertia. black people call each other nigger in order to claim power. by redefining the meaning they claim power to its connotation. if they change the meaning of a word like that then they've taken the sting out of the word and shifted the power associated with the word. this is the theory many purport. though i can't articulate the breadth of this argument it seems valid to me. if you care more about the language aspect of power and meaning, etc. stuart hall is your man. of course power reaches beyond just language and meanings behind words...lots of things we value can be construed to be, at least partly, about power...relationships, politics, money, work, etc. you can come up with your own examples, we all know it's there. inertia the way i'm talking about it refers to habit. it seems more and more to me that humans are very habitual. breaking habits is extremely hard, regardless of what they are. in so many ways the way we live our lives are results of power and habit. the reason i look at myself in the mirror before i leave it twofold: vanity is important - why? well this can be questioned and fought over for pages, but i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there is a hegemony of thought in society that vanity is something that matters. hegemony is about power. whether you agree with marx that the bourgeoisie sets norms to exploit them or not, i think a lot of it still comes down to the fact that there is a power play going on somewhere which determines how we are expected to live our lives and how, to a certain extent, we should live. one of those things involves the high placement of looks in our minds - it's important to look good. the second reason i look in the mirror before i leave is because i'm used to caring about how i look. if i tried tomorrow to stop caring how i look i know i couldn't do it. that's why i've said changing who you are is a very very hard thing to do. changing the way you think is very hard. just look at people in the south.
  • 90% chance that i didn't make any sense in that paragraph.
  • here's my point - think about how big a role power and habit seem to be in all facets of your life. if you really think about it i think you'd be surprised. unless of course you've given the subject a lot of thought already. it's my job to bring these things to the top of your mind.
  • going to eat my banana split now.
  • might update once or twice while in la, dj who knows.

  • 11-21-00 (18:48)

  • leaving for la tonight. change in plans, yes. bad idea, no. will i forget something in the last minute rush, yes.
  • bringing sleeping bag in case i'm stranded in la without place to sleep. tent too? overkill. no.
  • going to have banana split for dinner. oatmeal and banana split for the day. yum.
  • today was very rain filled.
  • got back my midterm, dungey's class. got a lower grade than i expected. this the one time that i really honestly felt i knew a lot more than the grade showed. i felt prepared, maybe overly prepared. maybe i should have just done a better job of discriminating what (not) to include.
  • i should start packing fudge. god why do i say such things? really though, i should get to packing.
  • fuckin' freak.
  • when you think about it, which i apparently have, the phrase "money is no object" is kinda funny. it seems to me that that implies that if money were an object then you'd value it highly. i propose changing it to: "money is just an object." that is, money is just an object - something of only small worth. after all, call me an idealist, objects shouldn't be held in high regard. money, objects, etc. shouldn't be as valued as other things...those things are for you to discover. just a thought.

  • 11-21-00 (11:23)

  • it's raining, gay.
  • quiz in half hour or so.
  • oatmeal is good. breakfast is even better.
  • raining outside, wack.
  • in utero is an underrated album. should listen to it tonight.
  • no time now.
  • did 13 pull-ups this morning. then 6. then 6 again. then 8.
  • the worst of my cold is over.
  • last night was good for biking. lots of weaving in and out of people, lots of crowds and groups to jet through. there was one assembly of idiot freshmen types by the dorms. they were playing around with a shopping cart, goofing off and such and i went in between a few of them just as one of them turned around to look at his friends i zoomed by. he yelled at me. i smiled. it didn't even occur to me until later that i could have easily run into him and bit it hard. of course that didn't happen and so the maneuver proved enjoyable, for me.

  • 11-21-00 (02:30)

  • did some studying, good.
  • you know, dread zeppelin should piss me off the way they destroy great songs like stairway to heave, but i actually enjoy their takes on led zeppelin songs.
  • off to a better start with fantasy basketball than in the past.
  • if you ever find "blind willy" by sonny sharrock on mp3, tell me. i want it. it's the shit. maybe i should just buy the album. i do have a bad copy from LP on MD, i guess that'll have to do in the mean time.
  • idioteque is different from what i generally think of radiohead style, but it's good shit. cross between talking heads and some blues/rock guitar track, but then again what do i know?
  • there's a difference between something being shit and being the shit. if it's shit then it sucks. backstreet boys are shit. led zeppelin are the shit. ya dig?

  • 11-21-00 (00:09)

  • how does one follow up an update like that?
  • updated movies list.
  • today was pretty good overall. started it off well, that's always good.
  • couple more days and i'll be a free man for a few days. only one more day than i'm used to really. kinda wack.
  • my light just faded out of existence. sad. need to buy a new one now.
  • quiz tomorrow. no class on wednesday. too bad i find this out today.
  • midterm went well enough. essay was no bonus. didn't catch me offguard, but didn't really have as much information as i should have. Maoz needs to start researching something more useful than war, which at this point can really just be broken down to simple playground politics. the direction of political science is a little distressing. all these big shots from vanderbilt and the like talking about things in terms of statistics and studies. please just study my cock. long and hard; the studies, that is.
  • i think i was a very angry person my second year of college. or depressed. or living with a couple christians. even sleeping in the same room as one of them. god, how did i do that and maintain sanity? the answer lies in my latin workbooks. i was a sick person in desperate need of some help and guidance. i had fewer than 300 cds back then, too. maybe that was the problem.
  • it really is sickening that i have almost 500 cds. the other night scott asked me how many i had and it made me think about it. i guess it's a good thing i built my cd case to house so many.
  • having this many cds does help me deal with life, strange as it may seem. when i'm in a bad mood i can choose more than just the b-side of led zeppelin I or paul's boutique or some stevie wonder to get me out of my funk. having more choices helps. i've got a cd to supplement or combat most emotions i have. i'm glad i discovered music. and you.
  • yes, led zeppelin still kick ass. hope you weren't doubting that.
  • cds to buy: ok computer, meddle, piper at the gates of dawn, new ratm, blur - best of, old 2pac, snivilizations, zooropa, anything beatles.
  • short, simple, quick list. probably should add - some sort of good opera shiznit.
  • i'm going to study very shortly. seriously. because i'm the boss of me.
  • you're not the boss of me! you're not my boss. you neither, you're not the mom of me. you're not my mom! i'm the boss of dirk!
  • boogie nights is fucking great. you best recognize.
  • planned on reading my last update while at work for shits and giggles. didn't get around to tit. ha ha. tit. ha ha. funny! ha ha. laugh. funny. ha ha.
  • shut up.
  • that was better heard than read.
  • 45 movies to go.
  • must study.
  • smashing pumpkins - siamese dream. bummer. i remember when i first looked at the back of the cd and thought that the song title was "hummer," not bummer. the bottom of the 'b' isn't closed so one can't blame me for that.
  • okay i'm studying. fore reels. four reels. for reals. really.

  • 11-20-00 (02:02)

  • studying is something i'm horrible at.
  • i'm not good at reading.
  • my memory is bad.
  • i'm very hard on myself.
  • i don't achieve my potential.
  • i can't spell for shit.
  • i'm excellent in the sack.
  • my posture is horrible.
  • this is me studying. see?
  • the midterm tomorrow will not go well.
  • didn't study well tonight.
  • won't study enough in the morning.
  • never bought the book.
  • even if i did buy the book i wouldn't have read it.
  • the teacher's testing methods are to blame for my bad score.
  • didn't watch a movie today.
  • the reason i didn't study well is because i'm sick.
  • ritalin could really help a guy like me.
  • some prozac would be good too.
  • i'll get a few comments about this shitty update.
  • never bought phil a birthday present.
  • i'm a horrible friend.
  • i'm a horrible person.
  • i'm smiling while i'm typing this.
  • why am i so deranged?
  • david bowie is pretty cool. he even has a song called "i'm deranged."
  • i don't like david lynch.
  • i'm probably not smart enough to like david lynch.
  • all this crap is coming right off the top of my head and spilling onto the page.
  • it's 2:10 in the am.
  • compose a beat.
  • that's from a dr. dre song...wake up in the am, compose a beat.
  • dr. dre is cool.
  • you're a bastard for liking dr. dre or any of this associates.
  • gansta rap is bad for society. their treatment of women is abhorrent.
  • wonder if i spelled that right. surely someone will tell me if i didn't.
  • in a few days i'll be in la.
  • not louisiana.
  • just ran spell check to make sure i spelled louisiana right.
  • i did, but it goes to show.
  • absolutely nothing.
  • that's what war is good for.
  • edwin starr, right? two "r"s, yes?
  • crack kills.
  • gotta find some good opera music. any suggestions?
  • wonder what the most fucked up update on this page was.
  • maybe this ranks up there.
  • funny thing is i don't mean half, more than half, of this shit.
  • it's just stuff that's on my mind.
  • surely there is more on my mind.
  • can't talk about all that though. surely a torrent of emails will follow.
  • did i spell torrent correctly?
  • not one for spelling. talking is better.
  • i stutter more than i'd like. esp, with people i'm nervous around.
  • where do all the lonely people come from?
  • a la the beatles.
  • who the fuck is elenor rigby? i'm sure i spelled her first name wrong.
  • i really don't care that much that my spelling sucks.
  • i do care in that it hurts the image people have of me.
  • vanity is retarded, but crucial.
  • what can be done?
  • the answer is always nothing. just like with war.
  • nihilism will get you nowhere.
  • but then again everything gets you nowhere.
  • right?
  • hedonism is the answer.
  • no it's not. there is a higher moral authority.
  • abbey road, let it be, and the white album.
  • those are the three i own. forgot about "let it be"
  • know you know, knowing is half the battle.
  • i know that i know nothing.
  • earthquakes are the shit.
  • earthquakes are bad.
  • population control is needed.
  • stupidity is population control.
  • you're such a realist.
  • wait, i thought you were an idealist.
  • oooh, contradiction. god chris you make me horny.
  • freud can suck deez.
  • i want you (she's so heavy) 7:46 minutes of pure beatles greatness.
  • i didn't know that lucy in the sky with diamonds was about drugs.
  • not until i was 15 or so.
  • does that make me dumb?
  • no.
  • but people would treat me as such if i had fessed up to it.
  • you should probably just delete this all, study, and goto sleep.
  • why would you insist on having this on your webpage?
  • people don't need to know that you're a freak.
  • you're not a freak, you just have a chemical imbalance.
  • fuck prozac. bozac.
  • i'm a writer, a poet, a genius i know it.
  • the beastie boys are fucking great. beastie boys, i love you.
  • and you too.
  • led zeppelin are the shit.
  • houses of the holy is better than led zeppelin I.
  • maybe even better than zoso, IV.
  • the beatles are better than led zeppelin.
  • nothey'renot.
  • never.
  • how many times have you opened the dictionary to save face?
  • too many.
  • how many more times. a good led zeppelin son.
  • actually a great led zeppelin song.
  • not smoking pot was probably the best thing you ever did for your memory.
  • you still need to study.
  • it won't help.
  • it doesn't matter.
  • it doesn't matter: a good wyclef jean track, latest album, the rock is the guest.
  • the rock is the epitome of what is wrong with society.
  • not really.
  • the wwf is shit though.
  • really really bad shit.
  • fuck the wwf.
  • 2:27
  • should get to bed by 3. should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • liking guns and roses makes you dumb.
  • not really. not at all.
  • you should dress better.
  • you should wear a dress.
  • jim wears dresses.
  • he's got problems?
  • or does he have answers?
  • he's got issues.
  • you've got issues.
  • tender is the night.
  • you listened to that song about 50 times in the span of 24 hours.
  • should have worded that differently.
  • at any rate, anyhoo. not long ago i thought anyhoo was anywho.
  • dumbass.
  • not really.
  • anyhoo. listened to that song many many times.
  • yet you still couldn't, in silence, recite it's melody or even its lyrics.
  • that first "it's" should be changed to: "its"
  • just so you don't think i'm dumb.
  • but you don't.
  • just a little retarded.
  • ha ha.
  • you make yourself laugh. that's not bad.
  • love's the greatest thing.
  • come on come on come on.
  • love's the greatest thing, that we have.
  • waiting for that feeling, to come.
  • blur said it. i'd have to agree.
  • dungey even agrees.
  • why use "even"? of course he agrees. bad diction.
  • diction means word choice, right?
  • red shoes are cool.
  • red is a good color, but blue is slightly better.
  • for most things.
  • lots of work to be done.
  • leave it all. leave it ALL. runawayandlive.
  • nah, that's too hard.
  • talkitdon'twalkit.
  • fear is your only god.
  • this isn't dark.
  • this sounds like something marc would say.
  • marc's classic.
  • i'm down with marc. i'm not down on marc though.
  • that is contrary to my sexual preference.
  • head out of the gutter.
  • fatboy slim - halfway between the gutter and the stars
  • right? don't have it, yet.
  • some of these allusions you'll get, others you won't.
  • who is "you?"
  • no one. maybe everyone.
  • bored yet?
  • bs2000 playing, the new stuff.
  • adrock is the most musically talented of the three.
  • now you see why A-U-C-H
  • taking all emcees out in the place.
  • sounds better on paul'sboutique.
  • it's the best album of all time. officially.
  • dust brothers had a lot to do with it though.
  • wish the beastie boys could claim all the genius of it.
  • they can't. they're still the shit.
  • being in debt is bad.
  • right?
  • filing for bankruptcy is the easy way out and it's bad.
  • right.
  • naked if i want to. a good song.
  • like the cover more than the orignal.
  • not a big fan of moby grape.
  • cat power is cool, moby grape were more influential.
  • right? i think. but you don't know.
  • nothing. again.
  • a sad song.
  • fa fa fa.
  • scorsese. under-rated. good. classic. taxi driver, easy to relate.
  • 2:40.
  • what a waste.
  • remember george clooney story in playboy:
  • old man on death bed says "what a waste, what a waste"
  • don't want to be like that.
  • regret nothing or, like in magnolia, regret all you want?
  • answer please.
  • nothing. again.
  • not depressed. not sad.
  • nothing. again.
  • seems bad. but not.
  • god the emails will ensue.
  • should just scrap this and sleep.
  • what a waste.
  • regret nothing.
  • regret all you want.
  • circle game. good song.
  • reminds me of ymca. good memories.
  • not going next year.
  • must discover country and self.
  • ha. the former will be no easy task. the latter is futile.
  • futility.com
  • ben stein.
  • matthew broderick. spell that right?
  • ferris bueller's day off. classic fun.
  • rainy day movie for sure.
  • foe life.
  • "mack 10 you know you rule hip-hop"
  • crazy night in la.
  • not louisiana.
  • jesse is a funny guy. drives like a crazy man.
  • maniac.
  • maniac is a funny movie. well the part i saw anyway.
  • scientist chases cat. catches it. squeezes out eyeball.
  • gross/funny. a pre-code film. 1933?
  • not going to be on film quiz.
  • definitely not going to be on midterm in 9 hours.
  • buy bluebook. 29 cents.
  • surely you have 29 cents.
  • seen and not seen. talking heads song. good.
  • this is longer than anyone would have wanted.
  • long enough to make studying impossible.
  • 2:46.
  • wasteful.
  • grades are important.
  • emails will ensue. fuck.
  • scrap this shit and save yourself.
  • this will make people laugh.
  • maybe.
  • hopefully people don't think i'm psycho.
  • that would suck.
  • if you think i'm crazy or something just keep it to yourself.
  • i've got enough to worry about.
  • hmmm, seems to be straying from the style. bad writer.
  • this can't be bad.
  • i understand like no one else.
  • you are me. i'm you.
  • perfect fit.
  • should buy magnolia dvd and boogie nights dvd.
  • think i already did buy magnolia dvd.
  • wasteful.
  • should have bought bum a dinner.
  • after watching roger and me, went searching for someone
  • someone to feed.
  • lots to give.
  • now somewhere to put it...
  • beat around the bush.
  • fuck bush.
  • how to break it to them?
  • back hurts.
  • the white man's got a god complex.
  • god. dog. hmmm.
  • stupid.
  • don't really think that. right?
  • think it.
  • know it to be false.
  • make no sense.
  • study.
  • robert plant knew what was up.
  • fuck he was the shit.
  • still sick. should sleep.
  • stay up all night and study.
  • better in the long run.
  • long run this.
  • michael stipe is pretty much the shit.
  • good music.
  • produces some bombass films too.
  • american movie.
  • being john malkovich.
  • probably more.
  • same michael stipe?
  • assume so.
  • ASS out of U and ME.
  • that's that nakabara would say.
  • nakabara was funny.
  • hate math, but math teacher funny guy.
  • writing like this makes you retarded.
  • quite the contrary young sir.
  • gridlock?
  • duh.
  • out of order. frozen republic.
  • 2:56.
  • what a waste.
  • national anthem. good song.
  • thom is so depressing.
  • he's got issues.
  • she's got issues, a good offspring song.
  • offspring are sellouts. not hip to like them.
  • note to self: be hip.
  • note to self: buy more cool clothes.
  • note to self: tattoo idea - gap on forehead.
  • i, too, wore 'i voted sticker' on forehead once.
  • wow.
  • it is possible.
  • thom, what are you saying?
  • note to self: have sex with bassist from radiohead.
  • note to self: limit homosexual innuendo to one per update.
  • vanity is more important than your first born.
  • longest update ever. gotta be.
  • must define 'longest.'
  • oooh, you're such a thinker.
  • ner.
  • johnny is funny. funny ha ha, not funny queer.
  • queer is a bad word.
  • you're bad for saying it.
  • typing it, whatever.
  • feel guilty. now!
  • imperative.
  • 11 away from 500.
  • too many cds.
  • never.
  • 3:04.
  • past bedtime. mission acomplished.
  • one "c" or two? i think two. you should change that.
  • you should at least check.
  • you won't remember anyway.
  • just like necessary.
  • one "c." guess you remember that, at least.
  • how bad would that look if it turned out to be two "c"s?
  • very very bad. people would hate you from now on.
  • really should study. if even for 10 minutes.
  • above all you should delete this whole update.
  • please delete it
  • please
  • please
  • i'm pleading
  • please
  • no reason for its existence
  • delete
  • delete
  • just do it.
  • now. delete it.
  • take it all back.
  • it's never too late.
  • steppenwolf song.
  • delete it
  • please.
  • please?
  • please!
  • not depressed.
  • please?
  • seriously feel just fine.
  • not kidding. seriously. weird. true.
  • maybe that prozac is working.
  • no prozac here.
  • just good ole anthony powers-esque positive thinking.
  • really.
  • should buy ok computer next.
  • didn't you say that about a lot of albums?
  • yes.
  • still should.
  • money shouldn't exist.
  • property is a bad idea.
  • didn't kill an ant today because i felt bad about it.
  • it's just an ant.
  • exactly.
  • just delete this update.
  • it's bizarre.
  • bound to freak people out.
  • bound to depress people.
  • bound to get negative press.
  • press?
  • bound to upset.
  • bound to do nothing good.
  • bound. i remember that movie. vaguely.
  • you were going to sleep a long time ago.
  • this is all me. not all of me. but it's all me.
  • don't mean a lot of it.
  • don't believe a lot of it.
  • thought all of it.
  • your job to discern which is which.
  • if you know me then you know.
  • please don't read this update.
  • should have said that at the beginning.

  • 11-19-00 (23:09)

  • had dinner at jonique and phil's. phil remained civil and cordial. go phil.
  • i think phil is going to have a car by summer time. he's making mad bank.
  • i, on the other hand, will well. nevermind.
  • life is a crock, a dupe, "nasty, brutish and short."

  • 11-19-00 (18:11)

  • today has been thoroughly uneventful.
  • talked to johnny last night, that was cool.
  • dinner at jonique and phil's in an hour. i'm going to count the number of times phil says something negative. should be a fun little exercise in futility.com
  • read some today. haven't watched a movie.
  • my sociology reading is retarded i know that despite reading the material i'm not going to do well. maybe i shouldn't care.
  • i think white, right-handed, non-handicapped, men work harder than other people; that's why they succeed.
  • so, not much to talk about right now.
  • listened to "the in sound from way out!" a few times today. the beastie boys album, not the perrey and kingsley one. i might be going insane if i listened to the perrey and kingsley album three times in a row.
  • was going to cut vern's hair but i guess he wants to watch tv instead.
  • gotta kill 45 minutes somehow.
  • i'm going to start killing everything that doesn't believe the same way i do.
  • homogeneity is the only way to go.
  • i wasn't in such a dark mood before, not sure what happened.
  • maybe i should just goto jonique's house now and get to studying since anything i do in between now and 7 will be a waste.
  • my stomach hurts.

  • 11-18-00 (23:47)

  • washed the dishes for an hour and a half today
  • made a mistake - turned on the tv. pulp fiction was on fox. they butchered the shit out of the 2 mins that i watched. sure, just rape one of the greatest films of all time by putting commercials in, editing it to shit, and silencing half the things they say. jeez.
  • i need stamps.
  • updated movies list. watched two tonight.
  • had some banana split action today, that was good shit.
  • have lots of studying to do tomorrow. hope that works out.
  • jonique came by today while i was popping pills. that was a surprise.

  • 11-18-00 (15:49)

  • i'm officially the most lazy piece of shit ever.
  • i think that thought is the highest form of self betterment.
  • listened to tender about 50 times last night. no joke. wow.
  • i think vern is back. maybe not. someone left a package inside and i hope it wasn't ups. nothing's missing so i don't really care. i don't understand why vern would be back already. maybe the managers put it inside so it wouldn't get stolen.
  • gotta eat and watch some movies. then i gotta study some sociology.
  • had some strange dreams last night. one of them was that i took apart an engine and was messing around with the camshaft. i wish i knew how to do that shit.
  • once gay people are seen as equals the world will perfectly equal. yay. how about children, overweight people, the handicapped, animals, etc. my point is that there always seems to be someone next in line to fight for. why can't we just treat beings equally?
  • "cries of impending doom rose from the soil...a million voices full of fear...and i begged: angel of the lord, what are these tortured screams? these are the cries of the carrots. you see, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust...and i roared i've seen the light - they have a consciousness."
  • march of dimes - a charity seeks to prevent infant mortality and birth defects - sent me all these custom return address labels. bonus. then i started to feel bad. so i donated 10 bucks. i'm such a suckah. i know they're legit so it's not so bad.
  • candle came out pretty good.

  • 11-18-00 (01:44)

  • took malcolm out today and ran some errands. ran okay, starting up was a bit rough. really really need to get around to a tune-up. i think there are some things i need. i should figure all that out so i can get down and dirty. or something.
  • listened to "tender" literally 20+ times tonight. that's a lot considering it's 7 minutes 40 seconds long. i don't usually do that with one song over and over again like that. i have before, but i don't think i've ever done it like i did tonight. i'd feel bad at this point if i didn't buy the single, at least. i'll give the album a test drive and see how it is. if it's decent then "13" could be my first blur album.
  • first time i heard that song was while christy (johnny's girlfriend and probably my future roommate) was listening to it. as i mentioned below, i hated it, and made my opinion known. so i officially feel like an asshole.
  • guilt is about as useful as ...
  • as i was trying to think of something that is completely useless i went over to my huge vanilla candle, which is getting closer to its end, and saw that it had a small hole on its side. so i took off some excess wax and was going to put it in the hole to patch it up. i rotated the candle so that i could work from a different angle. all three wicks are burning at this point, mind you. and all of a sudden two of the wicks go dead and i hear liqud pouring on my toolbox and the floor, beneath the candle. then i see that the melted wax pool has all gone through the bottom of the candle which is now completely broken apart. now i have wax all over the place. wax is pretty much impossible to get off the carpet. i could get mad or frustrated, but what's the point of that. ha. funny shit.
  • now i have a project - make a new candle with the remaining wax. sadly i don't drink soda so i don't have any aluminum cans. i'm going to go search the dumpster right quick.
  • life is the shit. you best recognize.
  • mission accomplished. had to go to the nearby park, but i found a 24 oz beer can. it'll be perfect for my candle. now if i could just find my wick. the small ones from the dead candle won't work. shite.
  • life is grand.
  • just found the old wick and it'll be perfect.
  • well that project took an hour. that was more than expected, but it should shape up nicely. waiting for it to cool.
  • heard the new ratm single today. first time i listened to the radio in several months. only did because i was in the car. it was the afrika bambaataa cover. pretty good shit. a lot different from the original, but that was the point.
  • well tender is still playing, i still haven't killed it. it's played over 30 times now for sure. jeez i've never listened to one song this many times in a row. november 17th will always be remembered by listening to this song.
  • it's 3:20 now. guess i should think about going to sleep. i guess i'm even a bit tired.
  • i should read my sociology shit tomorrow and maybe get the groundwork laid for studying that damn war book. i guess i'll be making a trip to the library either way.
  • i think i had more to say, but i'm high on candle fumes right now. had to disable the smoke alarm. i might pass out and die. if so my will is on the march 2000 update. send my regards to the world.
  • went out to eat lunch today. for dinner i had some great turkey, thanks to the grandma. the lunch was a basic chicken teriyaki bowl, th e good thing about it was that it was at this place in downtown which i've wanted to go to since freshman year. finally just went. three years of build-up and it wasn't even that spectacular. the chicks working there were really stupid too. like really stupid.
  • gotta sleep. gotsta see two movies tomorrow and study and all that silly shit in between.
  • it's a lot warmer in sylmar than it is in davis, but it's windy.

  • 11-17-00 (21:45)

  • i could see the beatles being my second favorite band once i have all the albums. this is one reason i've delayed getting their cds for so long, they're really going to disrupt the current hierarchy on the cd case.
  • why try and make a best of for the beatles? i guess the new album is good in that it just chose songs that reached number one on the charts so then there's no fighting over songs left out. still kind of pointless for a band like that. same with led zeppelin.
  • updated movies list.
  • i heard "tender" by blur one time and hated it from the very beginning. but as soon as it was over i realized that i liked it. finally downloaded it today. that song is a lot like 2001, the movie, in that respect. i remember walking out of 2001 and hating it. then later i realized that it kicks ass. i'm strange like that.
  • was thinking about some things i could have been good at. i think i could have been a good thief. sure i was caught once, but i was sloppy back then. i think i could be pretty good at it if i put some effort into it. i guess morals could be holding me back from my true calling. oh well.

  • 11-17-00 (18:53)

  • ran some errands today.
  • got new tires for the bike. looks pretty sweet and won't have to worry about cracks in the rear tire or thorns in the front. surprised that i was still able to ride it with all the problems those two tires had.
  • downloading some john zorn jazz stuff. he's the shit. we have a few of his 'masada' albums at the station, but i've never gotten around to buying anything by him. surprised to see him on napster, pleasantly.
  • vern is gone for the weekend. forgot about that until i got home and saw the note.
  • gonna be in the low sixties this week. yippee.

  • 11-17-00 (00:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • saw a girl in a 1967 beetle today. i knew it was a 67 because it was kept pretty much stock and 67 is my year so i'm all over that shit. talked to her for a while about bugs and such. there's definitely a community feeling when it comes to air-cooled vw owners. the water cooled owners don't seem as down. that's too bad.
  • yesterday i was talking about jesus being stolen to a co-worker, while checking out a book to this well-mannered, well-groomed, patron. he  just kinda smiled at the prospect that my former scooter's name was jesus. today he came back up to me and told me a sob story about his lame friend who took his book and how it's going to be like 2 days late. he asked if there was any kind of fine. of course there will be a fine, sir. probably in the neighborhood of 40 bucks. shite, he said. then i asked if he had ever been fined before. he said no. i said if you just bring the book to me i wouldn't mind do you, a poor student and fellow member of the proletariat, a small favor. despite the bourgeoise not teaching me the methods by which i might clear fines, i have gathered such knowledge through my years of working here. time equals wisdom. so i hooked a brotha up and he thanked me.  later he came back and said "what's your name?" my name is chris. "cool...if i ever get a scooter i'm going to name it Jesus" i was touched.
  • someone at the library checked out a book called "denying the holocaust" asked her what cases people made to try and deny it. there is some scientific evidence...residue on the walls of the gas chambers and such. kinda interesting, though false, i'm sure. people have checked out books telling them how to design airplanes. i guess i shouldn't be surprised by now. grad students, as their thesis, sometimes even write out the steps required to make a nuclear bomb. not that hard i hear.
  • gotta go.

  • 11-16-00 (18:38)

  • stayed up late last night and watched american movie, again. that's five times this year. five times in the last six months. updated movieslist.
  • today was pretty good i must say.
  • learned a lot of shit. actually it was more that i learned of the framework of a lot of things about which i've already been thinking. this quarter has been that way...transcendentalism, modernism, post-modernism, structuralism, all the -isms you can think of.
  • was on my way from school the other day thinking about life, the world, etc. when i questioned why i think about these things so much. i think it's because when i was young i didn't have any friends, didn't watch much tv, didn't have a nintendo, and didn't read. i'm not so happy about the fact that i didn't have friends or that i didn't read, but all those things led me to being alone in my room, just thinking. i remember sitting in my room bored just thinking about what to do and since that was a worn subject my mind would eventually wander. i'm not saying that i was thinking about transcendentalism and marxism at the age of 10, but it got me in the habit of thinking, a lot.
  • humans are very habitual beings.
  • i was reading some of MLK's autobiography just the other day and he mentions thoreau as being a great influence on him. of course i knew that gandhi influenced MLK's views a shitload, as well - passive resistance, civil disobedience, etc. then in class today we talked a lot about that shit. it was good.
  • got back my popular culture quiz grade. let's just say i might have to talk with the professor about his weak ass testing methods.
  • when i'm a teacher there will be no multiple choice questions, especially ones which are so specific that unless you read the text you won't be able to answer it. i think what it comes down to is that i value ideas far more than facts. when he asks who came up with such and such a theory and then asks what exactly that theory said i pretty much stink. when he asks me to apply what i'm supposed to be learning in class to something in my environment then i do well. i shouldn't care so much about grades, i used to not give a crap, but this year i do for some reason so now i have to read the book. read the book, not to glean ideas, but to learn specifics. oh joy.
  • i make no excuse for my not reading, but i still think mulitiple choice tests in social science courses are retarded.
  • thoreau has some crazy ideas.
  • political science isn't a science. why must so many people insist on breaking everything down to a system of equations and formulas?
  • my dad says he doesn't believe in math. he's such a postmodernist. haha.
  • it seems the more i learn about politics the more torn i become regarding the role of the state. there are compelling arguments either way - for more or less government. i'm boring most of you.
  • it was sunny outside today, but still a bit on the cold side.
  • vern has a shirt which reads "most people talk about the weather, we don't" i pointed out to him that the pictures on the shirt were of lenin, marx, and...i forget who the other guy is, but the point is that the sad fact of the matter is that people talk about the weather more than they talk about politics, society, and the like. there are people who would have skipped over all my talk about politics and when they got to that last line about the weather been happy to hear that the weather was clearing up. i guess if that's what makes you happy then you can talk with all your fucking frat. brothers about the weather and sports all day.
  • on the flip side i can talk about politics with my intellectual coffee house (not really) types and feel high and mighty that we have a firm grasp on all the problems that plague our society. i can even make grand plans regarding my eventually solving some of the world's ills. some would say that neither group matters because nothing really matters anyway. some might make a claim to a higher moral good which can derive from being a good person. the answer is that no one knows. the answer for me is that spending my paycheck on tommy jeans will make me quasi-happy for as long as the aura of the new purchase lasts - not very long. buying a meal for a forgotten human being, now named "Bum on the corner," will make two people happy, won't rely on the exploitation of thai kids who make tommy jeans, and will possibly even restore some faith in human kind for the guy whose dinner i bought.
  • if it were only possible to create feelings of brotherhood among all people and lessen their feelings of selfishness.
  • never going to happen. fuck it all.
  • i've been asked before why i voted for nader. why i am an idealist when it comes to society, why i insist that military spending should be cut. people say "well in a perfect world there wouldn't be war, but this isn't a perfect world...." i didn't have a good way of explaining myself before. i would say that i choose to 'vote my dream' or 'act as if it were possible.' dungey quoted gandhi today who said "be the change you want to see in the world." that's precisely what i have wanted to say. thank you gandhi for being more eloquent than i ever will and thank you dungey for educating me.
  • that's why i voted for change, that's why i voted for someone rather than against someone. that's why i say the military should stop waging wars and stick to defending us.
  • don't let the status quo get you down.
  • maybe i talk too much. maybe no one cares about this. maybe you'll all just goto nike.com and learn about all the great things they're doing to, er i mean, for the thai people and you won't have any worries. maybe you'll think about it for a few minutes, sit in front of the tube and go back to your receiver mode. be passive, it's far easier. ignorance is bliss.
  • knock the smile off my face.
  • updated while listening to:

    Orbital: In-Sides
    11-15-00 (22:59)
  • meat was good, the bbq sauce made it even better. i don't eat red meat very often these days. i pretty much only eat fowl and sometimes the sinful pork. a good hamburger is great on occasion though.
  • sick animation festival was funny and very gross at times. good shit overall.
  • the website server has been down lately, but it's up again so i can finally upload my updates.
  • after going out tonight i felt like i didn't have anything to do tomorrow, then i realized that i have class and work and more class and more work.
  • need more jewel cases.
  • been eating a lot of ice cream lately.
  • i'd say i'm officially sick, but it's really mild. so it could either get worse or just be mild for a while and then go away. colds are pretty stupid.
  • got someone to cover for me next friday so my thanksgiving plans haven't been foiled.
  • feeling hungry again. maybe i should make a baked potato. damn i'm full of good cheap ideas.
  • got a beatles cd on ebay, should be coming next week. so the collection begins.
  • two girls at work today said that i don't look like the type to have a girlfriend. i told them to shut the fuck up, go home, wash their face, and sleep. or something.
  • been getting more hangups lately. telemarketers are great fun. can't wait to talk to one. one called me up while jon and i were studying some political science crap. he said he was calling up law-abiding citizens asking for donations. i informed him that i wasn't a law-abiding citizen. he redirected. wouldn't you like to save the whales, firemen, (insert down trodden species here)? i gave him a hard time and eventually it was over. it was fun in the meantime.
  • i feel sorry for telemarketers, but i also hate the good ones. i think he was one of the good ones so i didn't feel too bad about giving him shit.
  • gotta get back on track with this movie bizness.
  • 11-15-00 (16:43)
  • BBQ tonight. watching spike and mike animation festival type shit afterwards. won't count as a movie, but will still set me back about 8 bucks. rip off.
  • talked to some people at work today. i found out that there are actually people on this planet who haven't heard of led zeppelin. sad but true. i was really surprised to hear about that. i was surprised the last time i conducted such a survey and discovered that most people hadn't even heard of john coltrane or miles davis. jeez i'm not sure what's wrong with the world.
  • i'm really really hungry right now.
  • you've come a long way baby
  • fatboy slim is pretty derned good.

  • 11-14-00 (01:18)

  • raiders lost tonight. got to see most of the first half before class started. damn broncos.
  • on yahoo weather it gives the temperature low as 28 on wednesday, but on the news they said the low would be about 35. what gives? that's a big difference since it could mean snow or not. bastards. if it's going to be this cold it may as well be a bit colder and snow. being 35 and raining is about as bad as it gets. i'm close to campus though so it's not a big deal.
  • might not be getting sick, as i thought.
  • tomorrow will tell. that's what i said about today. oh well.
  • my feet are always cold.
  • i'm going to just break down and buy a whole shitload of socks one of these days. maybe i should just wait until consumer day.
  • i think two years ago instead of buying presents for people i was going to just tell them how i felt about them in a heartfelt letter. didn't end up happening. did it for my mom, but no one else. getting mushy is hard with most people.
  • in other news my server still sucks butt.
  • i'm going to sleep soon.
  • "rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair
  • so i can climb up and get into your underwear"
  • political ads on windows media player streaming video. here. i suggest viewing the two nader ads. funny. great. true.

  • 11-14-00 (00:00)

  • film quiz tomorrow, will study a lot while at work. studying some right now. can't you tell?
  • my light is freaking out. i'm going to kill it. anything that freaks out must die.
  • the keys to a happy life are: care only about yourself, don't think very much (after all ignorance IS bliss), and never lose power to your anyone. with those three pieces of advice you will most certainly have a good life. morality? only those who their lives in abject poverty believe in any form of morality.
  • if anyone buys into that shit then why the hell are they my friend?
  • long day, but not too shabby overall.
  • led zeppelin I is the shit.
  • lately my server has been crappy. i guess you can always try the mirror page, link at the top.
  • i'm not even able to upload this update. very white.
  • the county is dicking me over for a few hundred bucks. i asked if there was any potential jail time for not paying the fine, the woman said no. so i guess i'll be okay for a while.

  • 11-13-00 (02:25)

  • 1 ton of toxic waste is produced by the u.s. military every minute.
  • "It is my view that the vegetarian manner of living would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind." Albert Einstein.
  • nothing to say. i'm sleeping now.

  • 11-12-00 (23:36)

  • lost some respect for moby. he said he thought nader sucked ass because he stole votes from gore. didn't know moby was retarded. oh well, i still like his music.
  • so what about the electoral college. minority rights versus democratic rule. filibuster is another good example. undemocratic? bad? something to think about.
  • there was a nader ad which used the same structure as the mastercard ads ... wedding ring $10,000, caterer $5,000, ever-lasting happiness - priceless...use mastercard. remember? well the nader ad did the same thing, only gave it a political twist. mastercard sued nader for $15 million saying that "priceless" was their trademark. nader pointed out that by that rationale they were putting a price on the word "priceless."
  • capitalism is great. right?
  • i've got about 10 people trying to download mp3s from me. kind of annoying with this gay connection.
  • waiting for the sun.
  • scott's birthday today. he's 22 and loving it i'm sure.
  • i'm not a big fan of birthdays.
  • work didn't suck too much.
  • it is as frigid as my sex life outside.
  • might rain tomorrow. who cares.
  • quiz on tuesday.
  • being political and caring is a waste of time. i hereby give up all that useless shit and will begin to devote myself to self betterment instead.
  • i don't even think my sponsor works these days so there goes that theory.
  • i should just sleep and shut the fuck up. feeling blah.

  • 11-12-00 (16:21)
  • doesn't look like i'm going to watch a movie today.
  • woke up too late to get anything good done.
  • have work from 6-11 tonight, no fun there.
  • i think i'm going to start using "bush" in the same context as "white" - both denoting capitalist, racist, ignorant tendencies.
  • 49ers whooped ass. good shit.
  • some huge news - played two rounds of frisbee golf today vern +4, chris +3...second round vern +1, chris -3. that's a new course record. vern discovered that we were playing the 8th hole wrong this whole time. we had been making it easier. so that didn't have any positive effect on my score. now vern is going to have to step it up and match or break the new record. i got pretty lucky on the last hole, i had a far par putt and sunk it for a par on the hole and sealed the -3 on the course. it was almost epic. i was doing somersaults and shit.
  • i wish i could do somersaults
  • woke up at 9am, 10am, 11am, 12pm, and then finally at 2pm today. not my idea of fun. my mouth was dry all night.
  • watched about 7 minutes of baywatch today. it's such classic bullshit. really quite fun to watch actually, in a purely mocking way. if i watched the whole show i might cry.
  • i gotsta go eat some of that leftover pizza. this pizza weighed (seriously) 5 lbs. it's stuffed and has all kinds of crazy shit in and on it. papa murphy's is the shit. i'm hungry.
  • fuck work.
  • fuck bush.
  • fuck people who don't think.
  • if you think then you're probably a better person than most so pat yourself on the back.
  • a clean shaven face is almost as good as a swift kick in the ass. i have no idea where i came up with that. it was just the first thing that came to mind.
  • had ice cream for breakfast. chris there is something wrong with you.
  • might be getting sick, hopefully it either happens or doesn't. i don't want it to linger around and then hit while i'm supposed to be on vacation. oh god that would suck ass.
  • i haven't gotten a cold in a while actually.
  • i just realized that i have almost 500 cds. i'm not kidding. i've thought for the longest time that i was at 380 something, not 480 something. jesus lord. i was reading my march update and saw that i had 387 cds in march. that means i've gotten 102 cds since march 23rd. holy fuck.

  • 11-11-000 (23:42)

  • six hours of work today, bor-ing.
  • jonique came by today with cookies, i think i was still asleep when they were here, even though my eyes were open.
  • i sleep a lot lately, usually while trying to watch a movie. kinda sucks.
  • can't find my switchblade, it'll turn up.
  • i thought more people were going to vote in this election. i thought nader was going to get 3 times the votes he got. what do i know? i had a hunch that bush would win. i could end up being wrong on all of these predictions.
  • really wish i could read hours on end without losing concentration or my mind.
  • the best thing dick nixon ever did was not demand a recount, he didn't challenge the results of the 1960 election at all; even though dead people in chicago voted for kennedy. if gore and bush can't do this for the country the way nixon did then they can suck by sac.
  • dewey defeats truman. hmmm, so you're telling me this isn't the first time the media miscalled an election? no way!
  • there's a cop in some southern state who refuses to give out tickets to people. i think this cop is the shit. if i were a cop i'd be just like him. he'll stop people, warn them, instruct them, and let them go - without a ticket.
  • "the vanity of others offends our taste only when it offends our vanity" - Nietzsche. working the in library has it's advantages. liberalist thinkers would have loved this quote.
  • it's getting cold these days.
  • monique taped the daily show when michael moore was a guest. it was classic - michael moore said that the U.N. should step in and have a group of nations come over here to re-adminster the elections, just like the u.s. does with other nations when corrupt elections are suspected. michael moore has his shit together.
  • michael is really hard for me to type. odd.
  • found the switchblade. it was near the closet and i think i know why. freak.
  • nothing tomorrow until 6pm.
  • if the weather is mild i should work on painting at least one of the rims on the bug. i want to pain them white. if that doesn't look good i'll goto black, but i think white will be nice. better than they look now. those rims are probably as old as the car. it really is amazing how much different malcolm looks these days.
  • i wish it was warmer outside.
  • i'm down with tom petty.
  • wonder how i did on that midterm.
  • put stickers up on malcolm. "personality goes a long way." - jules winfield
  • "just because you are a character doesn't mean you have character" - winston wolf
  • updated movies list.
  • "I believe anything that gets people to read is worthwhile. Enduring the snobbery of literati and being forced to read books we did not relate to is what turned so many of us away from books--in junior high, high school, or later." PoBronson.
  • jon sold the rover.
  • new orbital album out in march. yip yip.

  • 11-11-00 (00:35)

  • updated movies list.
  • saw a bit of some abc sitcom called 'two guys and a girl.' it was actually somewhat interesting because of the way it was shot. it was pretty much a silent sitcom, used music, but i didn't hear anyone talk at all. i was surprised to see a tv show like that. had some funny moments. bonus points for doing something different.

  • 11-10-00 (15:41)

  • it's interesting to me how all the laws of human nature can be broken so easily. political and social theorists almost always agree, to varying degrees, that humans are self-serving beings. greed and vanity are dominate. interactions between people are often marked by these traits. psychologists will more or less say the same thing - humans are more interested in self-preservation than anything else. you look at the course of human history and this is the overwhelming truth. there are exceptions of course. vern said last night, echoing the beatles and countless others, that 'all you need is love.' love breaks all the rules of the game. i'd step in front of a bus to save my sister, i know this. my mom would probably do the same for me. if there was a way to make this universal then the world would be a better place. a LOT better.
  • went to pg&e just now and became the guarantor for phil.
  • had to look up guarantor to make sure i spelled it right.
  • off to the post office. maybe i'll do some laundry, probably not.
  • work on the car maybe a bit.
  • watch some movies most likely.
  • get some poon, not a chance.
  • have lunch, most definitely.
  • speaking of which, my grandmother sent me some really really good looking turkey today. holy shit does it look good.
  • oh, almost forgot...my other grandmother is getting married again. some crazy shit.

  • 11-10-00 (02:36)

  • slacked on the movies tonight. got really tired.
  • not much to do tomorrow so i'll probably get some random shit done.
  • washed malcolm today, looking good.
  • while i was at work doing anything but working i read this book about the supreme court. there was a court case in 1964 which tried to challenge the constitutionality of the 1964 civil rights act. the case was called (no big surprise here) Heart of Atlanta Motel vs. U.S. it amazes me that people from the south are pretty much always wrong. hmmm. the motel wanted to be able to discriminate against people of color and felt it was their right to take away the rights of other people, i mean not hire people because of no good reason, i mean not hire people because they were born differently. uh, yea.
  • i wonder if the south will ever look at their past and say "we've always been wrong...maybe we should think more." probably not.
  • then again people like nader who really care about the country and intend to do something for it don't get elected either.
  • my midterm in dungey's class was hectic. there was so much stuff to write about and only about 70 mins to work with. he's a great teacher.
  • i want to be the kind of teacher who gives the students so much to write about that they barely have time to say it all. that way they've learned something. i won't require reading. i won't have multiple choice tests. i won't make the content of the test a mystery. honestly, why do some teachers try to hide what is/isn't going to be on their tests? what is wrong with them?
  • i'm going to go to dungey's political science 5 (problems in american government) class next quarter just for fun. i've already taken the class, but i know that he'll do a kick ass job teaching it.
  • took a long nap, late tonight. bad idea.
  • didn't go to that party. i'm incomplete.
  • my phone is wack. i need to get a real phone.
  • post office and pg&e tomorrow.
  • i was on my bike coming home from work and cruising past everyone and i re-realized (there's gotta be a better word for that) that when i'm on my bike i feel the most control in my life. i'm whizzing past everybody, swerving in and out of freshmen, actually moving, getting somewhere with my own labor, and i'm completely in control of what happens. i think confidence is the most applicable word when talking about me and my bike riding. i have no confidence when i talk with people, male or female. i'm usually not good on the phone. when i'm driving there are a lot more things that go wrong. when i'm in class i could get called on and have no clue what to say. when i'm on the bike, though, i feel like i've got more control. even if some idiot swerves right in front of me i'm able to avoid collision, under most circumstances. of course if i was in a bike race i'd get dusted and would probably fall at the start because it would be so crowded. but relative to most davis bikers...
  • the longest paragraph of this update so far was dedicated to me bragging about my biking abilities. i'm such a self-centered bastard. i should rename this page to "chris miller - master of the fucking free world"
  • the week is over, it usually ends quicker than expected. probably because the first two days are so long and shitty.
  • i had planned on taking my 24" crowbar to my old monitor after i heard bush won. ended up not doing it, but it could still be fun to do in the future. i'd feel bad about the mess.
  • office space is a decent movie with some classic characters and really funny moments. if you've seen it then you might understand that segue.
  • segue to deez nuts.
  • daft punk are good. this album reminds me of freshman year. yes, yes you do care.
  • the end of grapes of wrath is still epic. the movie was only pretty good up to that point and then it all came together. jeesh.
  • love, love is a verb. love is a do word. i'm down with massive attack, but not amazed by them.
  • if not for my midterm i'd be in santa cruz right now. as it turns out i have 11 hours of work between sat. and sun. i guess the money will be good.
  • i think that living with johnny would be fun. he's a fun guy overall and he'd keep me occupied. of course christy is pretty dope too.
  • i wonder which one of my friends is going to get married first. if i counted Doc and co. in there then i might say tristan. if i didn't count them then it gets a lot harder. i'd probably lean towards jon. who knows maybe phil will meet some chick and just go head over heels.
  • head over heels? that just doesn't make any sense to me.
  • i could care less. it's "i couldn't care less" get it right. chris you are a nit-picky bastard.
  • i'm taking up donations for my summer trip starting now. i don't know exactly what it's going to entail, but i know that i'll need some money. q-tip asks "what is paper if it doesn't have a president?" q-tip is good like that. so either you can send me a check or you can click on my sponsor like 10 times a day until summer and i'll get about 200 bucks for that. wow, now that i think about it like that my sponsor could actually be making me some real dough. 10 times a day at 10 cents is a buck a day for the next 7 months is about 210 days...210 bucks. a) i did all that in my head b) that's a lot of money.
  • speaking of money i've decided to sell my soul on ebay, the item number - if you want to bid on it - is 45979666. thanks.
  • got the old stickers off of malcolm today. going to put on three new ones tomorrow - on the windows of course. led zeppelin, ratm, and nirvana. kurt cobain was pretty much a genius he needed some paxil, but he was a genius.
  • we talked about hegemony in the popular culture class today. we talked about how hegemony sets the standards in society, thoughts, ideals, etc. nothing really new. what was interesting was that one theorist claimed that bob marley would have been part of the structure because, although he preached peace and was anti-capitalism, he was making money for Island records. thus it was deduced by many that someone of the counter-culture cannot be autonomous - they're always going to be part of the ruling class, in a way. of course one girl in my group brought this up and (while looking at my rage against the machine shirt) said that rage against the machine was a good example of this. she also dubbed them "fuel the machine." what a bitch. so i kindly pulled my maglight out of my backpack and beat her over the head with it. er, rather, i likened it to what malcolm x said - you see a group of people in a car, they're going the opposite direction that you need and want to go, but in order to get to that place you need to get in the car. so you get in the car and try to give them directions. does getting in the car mean that you are supporting where they are going? i think not. listen, the civil rights movement of the 1960s had to fight against the same system that had court decisions which said "separate is equal." in order to change that system they had to go to the same supreme court system (although not the same supreme court) and get that precedent overturned - brown vs. board - separate is inherently unequal, duh. so if rage against the machine or radiohead or public enemy need to go through the music industry to get the word out that's fine by me. none of those bands are preaching one thing and practicing another. none of those bands are living it large on an island in the caribbean. public enemy has even tried to release their music online in an attempt to subvert the music industry's stranglehold. contracts, though, are a bitch.
  • i hate to say it, but life is about making compromises on occasion. there are some things i won't compromise. i think you get the points i was trying to make a) the girl was wrong wrong wrong b) the theorist who concocted that pile of shit was retarded c) i'm always right so listen to me.
  • i'm so full of myself of course i mean it only in jest. jest so you know. har har.
  • pixies - where is my mind?
  • need to watch a few movies tomorrow.
  • i've got to figure out a way to test my students' ability to think. essays are good, i also like the idea of oral tests. anytime i say oral it just sounds so wrong in the same sense that premarital sex is wrong - that is that's it's not really wrong.
  • i'll have to work out the logistics later i suppose.
  • i have real problems focusing. i try to read sometimes and i honestly can't get through a paragraph without thinking about something else. sometimes i'll be so occupied with trying to concentrate that i won't retain anything that i've read. i'll get all focused and ready to bear down on the books and i'll start reading all focused like and a couple sentences through i'll think to myself "hey you're actually focusing and reading. life is weird. fucking niners. that chick was hot, but she's probably stupid. look you're studying, way to go. wait what did you just read. fuck. fuck this world. what a tard. you need to take some drugs or something. this book is just dumb anyway. go out and live your life rather than studying. now you're just rationalizing it. okay read that over again. no don't waste your time, just make the next paragraph count. chris you don't even read so why start now? how much overdraft protection do i have these days? i hope that rent check didn't bounce. damn she's cool. you're reading right? okay maybe you should just skim. hmmm, this guy makes some good points about war. best war film ever? gotta be full metal jacket. paths of glory was great too though. is there a distinction between war films and anti-war films? well maybe it would be saving private ryan, that wasn't really an anti-war film, more of a look at war rather than a take on war. why can't you speak as well as you think? unarticulate, stuttering bastard. don't be such an ass to yourself. friends should be shrinks not vise versa. fucking bush. gore's no bonus either. i don't like this book maybe i'll read something from my sociology class. maybe i would if i had the book. i don't want to get on my bike and go to the library now. argh. maybe i'll just go online and see what the deal is there. what a cop out. vern's vespa is smelling the house up i think these gas fumes are going to kill me. you're a paranoid bastard."
  • that was the first time i've ever really done anything like a stream of consciousness, that was fun and very very accurate to most of my reading experiences. i hope now you understand more fully what it's like to be chris - a deranged, demented, disturbed, young man. reminds me of the david bowie song "i'm deranged." it's on the lost highway soundtrack. you best recognize.
  • this update has been far longer than expected. those are always the best though i suppose.
  • i'll try never to feel good about my abilities again because i know that bragging is bad, antisocial, despicable behavior which should be systematically wiped out through the use of social exclusion.
  • sleep shall be good for us all. one day i'll look back at this updated and just shake my head, probably laugh a little, then i'll...i was going to say something but that would be seriously over the top and i value self-perservation more than the cheap laughs i'm sure it would get. hobbes and locke win again. vanity controls. ahhh. fuck em. i was going to say this: "one day i'll look back at this updated and just shake my head, probably laugh a little, then i'll goto the bathroom and wank it." not sure why i was going to say (said) that. mainly because the sentence felt like it was building towards something funny but i couldn't come (har har) up with anything else...as the old adage goes - when all else fails talk about masturbation. i just had a crazy case of deja vu. guess i overcame vanity this time, they're still probably right though.

  • my reaction to the news that bush won. this, of course, was later retracted.
    11-09-00 (01:31)
  • updated cdlist.
  • i hope i do well on the midterm tomorrow. there's so much shit we need to talk about. dungey is a great teacher.
  • "Patrick Ewing has offered to donate one of his kidneys to Alonzo Mourning if the ailing Miami Heat center ever needs a transplant. "You know I will always be there for him," Ewing said Tuesday after a shootaround in Miami. "If my kidney matches, I'll be happy to donate one. If it comes down to that. He knows that." Mourning has a common but serious kidney disease that is forcing him to miss this season. It is not yet known whether he will need a kidney transplant. Ewing and Mourning both played at Georgetown and remain close friends despite their fierce NBA battles. They work out together during the offseason, and Ewing is the godfather to Mourning's newborn daughter, Myka Sydney. They spoke Monday when Ewing arrived in Miami and planned to spend time together Tuesday night at Mourning's home. Ewing said he and Mourning have not approached doctors. "
  • now that's pretty fucking cool. i had always thought they were big time rivals.
  • an interesting thought - inequalities within people are only able to truly be exploited because of the social and political contracts we all agree to. for this reason people like bill gates are able to be so much more powerful than you and me. since this is the case wouldn't it stand to reason that this same social contract should provide for some counter-measures to combat inequality? the only reason the republicrats are so rich is because we have all entered into an agreement to coexist under the same set of rules and have, for the most part, upheld our end of the bargin. of course this is a normative question, but i still feel that because the social contract allows some people to get ahead while others fall behind, it should also have some sort of welfare function. we are all equal (both in the Hobbesian sense that we are all equally vulnerable to a violent death and in the Lockean sense that we all have an equal right to rule) thus the outcome of any social contract we enter should not make that natural equality non-existent, yet it oviously has.
  • i doubt i articulated myself well enough, it's 0230 so i should sleep. ask me about it later if you care or are lost by my ramblings.

  • 11-09-00 (00:21)

  • updated movies list.
  • studied for the midterm tomorrow. we shall see about that bizness.
  • forecast calls for rain. fuck.
  • measure O passed in davis, good news. i'm glad people up here seem to value the environment a bit.
  • prop. 36 passed, good news. prop. 38 failed, good news.
  • bush/gore won, bad news. nader didn't get 5%, horrible news.
  • no one is mentioning this, not sure why - GORE stole votes from NADER, not vise versa. jesus christ.
  • beastie boys delayed even more now. fuck that shit.
  • seems like the most dangerous thing in davis is being a professor. last year two profs. died in a boating accident. this year one was on that singapore plane crash, he survived. crazy shit.
  • toyota has a new car (prius, i think) which looks like a decent car for the future. small, economical, more environmentally friendly. good shit.

  • 11-08-00 (02:13)

  • updated movies list.
  • i'll never forget this night.
  • the whole election thing is way out of hand.
  • the electoral college really is dumb. bush can die.
  • i was talking with vern and company during the break in film class today and the teacher (pretty darn cool guy) comes up and stand around listening to us talk about the election. i said something about FL possibly going to Bush, not Gore - as the media had called it. the teacher said "ah fuck." it was so great.
  • at the end of the class he gave us the heads up that bush looked to be winning the election. i got pretty depressed.
  • now it's all stupid close and shit. nader is going to get shit for it too. i just know it. people are retarded.
  • nader got a lot fewer votes than i thought. gore stole from nader, not the other way around - get it straight.

  • 11-07-00 (23:14)

  • Choosing between the lesser of two evils means that you are still choosing evil - Jerry Garcia
  • fuck bush.
  • fuck my server.
  • fuck this world.
  • fuck my lack of any semblance of self-esteem.

  • 11-06-00 (22:12)

  • got a B on my film quiz. i think most people did better than that so maybe i should read the book next time.
  • my sociology class is the worst so far which is unexpected. i should read the book for tomorrow's quiz. his quizzes are really retarded.
  • scanned the pictures of malcolm (old and new) while on campus today. also got a few pics of vern, jon and i on jesus.
  • i think i'm tired of getting bad grades so i'm going to at least start to make a little effort from now on.
  • today was good overall. for some reason getting a B on my film quiz kinda bummed me out, that's unusual. i'm unusual.
  • did some prop. research while at work so i have that pretty much figured out. going to wake up early and get that done. it's so hard being a citizen.
  • those scanned pics are up now.
  • got the new bs2000 single, different, but good.
  • got all the original tracks which rage against the machine decided to cover. now i will know what the original sounds like before i hear their take on it. that's cool i guess.
  • the server is being really stupid so i'm not sure i can upload anything tonight.
  • "Member Web Site Servers - Some member services may be experiencing difficulties"
  • vote tomorrow or i won't be your friend.

  • 11-06-00 (02:14)

  • updated movies list.
  • two small items to take care of by tomorrow morning.
  • i haven't been saying gay very often lately. i think that's overall a good thing. i'll need to come up with some as versatile.
  • white is good to use in certain situations, but not as often as gay.
  • i've been saying 'wack' more often.
  • should have seen the SNL show tonight. and the simpsons premiere. heard the x-files shindig wasn't anything special. no surprise there. overall i should just watch tv more, i think it would help to be more in tune with my peers. har har.
  • my back needs cracking. i used to be good at it. i also used to get sore afterwards. i used to run. i used to care about money. i used to watch the wwf. i used to have shit for brains. i even used to think the beastie boys weren't very good. i used to want to die for my country. i used to think that the death penalty was a good answer. i used to think that "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" as snoop dogg said. i used to get really worried about stupid shit. i used to despise rap, then i discovered its beauty. i used to think that the fifth was his best symphony, now i know that the ninth is beethoven's best. i used to take my parents for granted. i used to think that nothing really mattered in the long run, now i know it's true, but for this very reason i should try to be a good person while i'm here. i used to think that my vote didn't matter, i still do and that's why i'm going to vote my conscience. i used to think that this update was going to be short and sweet so i could move on to my papers.
  • one paper for film class, the other for my war class. not too psyched about either.
  • played frisbee golf again today. vern was +1, i was even. vern was -2 with the last two holes to go, fell apart big time. we've birdied six out of the nine holes on the course, just never all in the same game. the moral of the story is - we have the potential to go -6, but the best score so far has been vern's -2. enough dork talk for now.
  • speaking of dorks...jon came over today. jon isn't really a dork, he's down. at any rate he came over and we laid out the ground work for this great paper i'm working on this very second. we went out to lyon's for some sundaes and various sundries of the sweets variety. i had jon and vern's scraps. the trickle down theory works only on the micro level, i've concluded.
  • i think if i got a girlfriend i wouldn't screw it up this time.
  • told this girl at work today (she's the sorority type) that she should stay away from guys until graduate school. i told her about the time when one guy broke my heart and how bad he made me feel. i wonder if she actually thinks i'm gay now. ho hum.
  • listening to westbam for the first time in a while. it's pretty much my all-nighter CD. brings back memories of the mountain dew days back in late 99 and early 2000. i forgot which quarter it was but i had about 40 pages of writing due in one week. ahhh, nothing quite like screwing yourself over.
  • speaking of which i'm going to goto the bathroom real quick.
  • so that was a lame joke, but the opportunity came so i had to try and pull it off.
  • can you imagine it being pulled off? ouch.
  • right, so now i really should just get to work.
  • i'm severely disturbed and i don't think anyone really understood any of that. ho hum.

  • 11-05-00 (01:28)

  • rage against the machine is coming out with their covers album december 5th. good shit. even covered epmd, wow.
  • MC5, The Stooges, EPMD, Bob Dylan, Minor Threat, The Rolling Stones, Afrika Bambaataa, Devo, Volume 10, Erik B and Rakim, Cypress Hill. In keeping with the spirit and concept of the Renegades album, a newly remixed, alternate version of Bruce Springsteen’s “The Ghost of Tom Joad” (previously only available as a single along with Rage’s 1997 home video) was also included.
  • plan on getting a lot done tomorrow.
  • looks like i won't be going to santa cruz this weekend unless i go early friday. thursday i have a midterm i forgot about (mainly because he moved the date from tuesday to thursday).
  • need to find out about all the propositions and local candidates tomorrow.
  • i should goto sleep now.

  • 11-04-00 (23:29)

  • updated movies list.
  • played two rounds of frisbee golf today - +3 on the first round (vern got -2), -1 on the second (vern got +5).
  • did some laundry.
  • phil doesn't think my life is exciting so i'm going to change the way i live from now on.
  • my computer's clock is having issues...loses time pretty quickly.

  • 11-04-00 (02:31)

  • my hands are starting to get callous. because of pull ups, nothing more.
  • luke has started updating his page again. about time. the updates aren't as lively as they once were. too bad.
  • cut my hair tonight, thanks largely to jon. put the sun-in crap up in it and i think it's a little lighter.
  • i need my radiohead phone. i think my mom has it somewhere. cordless phones can be pretty dumb.
  • equality is impossible. fuck. still gotta try i suppose.
  • was going to give blood today, but i was kinda tired and figured that it wasn't such a good idea for that reason. i have to do it one of these days.
  • walk the walk motherfucker.
  • my candle is in poor shape. one of the three wicks is way longer than the others. the sides are all out of wack too. some sculpting is necessary. lighter fluid is the shit.
  • i saw a shrink for about 20 of my 21 years, well almost, and i think i would have been as well (or better) off if someone had just introduced me to some good music/movies and given me a big ass candle to light on fire.
  • gotta sleep. maybe i'll try to mess with the car tomorrow. maybe i'll adjust the valves or something, that shouldn't be too troublesome.
  • LFO sucks ass.

  • 11-03-00 (19:55)

  • during the time that thomas jefferson was having an affair with one of his slaves his use of the word "mulatto" when describing soil conditions increased twelve-fold. i wonder if there are any such trends in my journal.
  • vern out for the night, maybe he'll get some more action.
  • going to work on jon's car with him in about 10 minutes, see if we can't get that motha running smooth.
  • tried working on malcolm today (exterior stuff) to no real end. basically wasted my time and got frustrated. it's amazing how many things can go wrong when working with a car.
  • thought too much today about the world being shitty.
  • talked to a coupla co-workers about politics, think i opened some doors.
  • watched about 5 minutes of the simpsons with really bad reception.
  • deep purple are pretty damned rockin. ian paice on the drums, yes. turned the subwoofer on and noticed some bass i never knew was there before. very cool.
  • should watch a movie tonight. i'm thinking "the wall."

  • 11-3-00 (04:10)

  • i do all this writing for you, the paying audience...
  • "emotion or reason, now which one do you obey?" - the chick from spooks. note to self: gotta know her name because she's going to be big one day.
  • fear is still your only god. how much of what you haven't done has come as a result of fear in some form?
  • i'm a lot like vern in some ways. yesterday he said eating made him horny. i'm eating this great sandwich, listening to some music, and i'm getting horny. eating can really turn me on. i'm such a primordial freak sometimes. ain't it great?
  • 30 minutes and a sandwich and i've already forgotten about the revolution. ha, no wonder this world sucks such big white capitalist dick.

  • 11-3-00 (03:32)

  • things i've seen is such a great great song. well layered and has harmony, something lots of hip-hop these days neglects.
  • i'm hungry right now. staying awake this late isn't a good idea because i get really hungry in the morning.
  • another 107 hits this week. crazy shit.
  • guess no one like my last poll. i must admit it was pretty retarded. here be the new one.
  • moby is making me sad right now. this world is so beyond fucked up yet we all continue living; few of us try to make changes. i've got to get my shit together and start either a) killing people OR b) making people think.
  • i'm going to go make a sandwich, go to sleep, get really really smart overnight and then do it.
  • we really do need to reevaluate the way we think. seriously question reality, authority, rationality and reason, our values, everything. "you will not be able to stay home, brother. you will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out. you will not be able to lose yourself on scag and skip out for beer during commercials because the revolution will not be televised." it's pretty cool what someone can say in six words.
  • i'm pretty impatient when it comes to lots of things.
  • i asked vern what the fuck was wrong with the idiots who would call some of the worst movies ever "a wild and entertaining ride" and the like...so here are some criticisms of my webpage, from vern. pretty classic stuff.

  • "Chris Miller is the voice of the underground Generation Y"
    --Village Shout

    "A rapturous and entertaining read"
    --Los Angeles Voice

    "Mr. Miller has a wit to equal Wilde"
    --The Daily American Reader

    (Chris is) "A daring and visionary character, full of grace and wisdom. Chris Miller's Journal is the sign of the times."
    --The Northern Californian

    "Chris Miller is the resonating anti-hero of Generation D--and the "D" doesn't stand for digital..."
    --Rex Reefer of the Town Mirror

    "Audacious. A neat voice. Compelling."
    --Peter Trailblazer of the Mid Town Sentinel

    11-3-00 (00:02)

  • just had a massive chat session with four people at the same time, but all separately. craziness.
  • getting a lot better at pull-ups these days. i want to get up to 20 before the end of the year. that would cool.
  • updated movies list.

  • 11-2-00 (22:00)

  • here's some encouraging news...20 guys decided to rape a 13 year old mentally disabled girl the other day. they did this for 12 hours. this happened in georgia. so there is something very very wrong with the state of the world these days and it makes me fucking sick. i'm outraged, but here i sit. i'm going to have to come up with something to do other than sit.
  • there's no easy way to segue from that...
  • it seems that the more 'civilized' we get the more effectively we managed to use our newly found leisure time to do more work. multi-tasking is more and more prevalent in our everyday life. i think that this is a disease. i see people everywhere on cell phones taking care of business while they're walking along the street, they've got their notepads out trying to juggle everything at the same time they are trying to catch the bus. wack shit. wack white shit if you ask me.
  • why do people collect the new quarters? i ask because i've got them on my desk like i have some real interest in them. i need to not collect them.
  • there are certain guidelines in life. some are ubiquitous and universal, others aren't. i can't come up with any great examples. uh, you marry the person you love, you save to try and buy a house, a steady job is better than lots of little jobs, after high school you try to get into college...those are all pretty crappy examples, but you get the point, yes? i think that you have to make your own rules. now this is obvious to you because you're probably an independent thinker, but there are so many people who take these guidelines as the way to live one's life.
  • all i'm trying to say is that people need to make rules for themselves and not accept those manufactured by the bourgeoisie or whoever you think feeds us all this shit in pop culture.
  • www.billionairesforbushorgore.com
  • i can't wait until i'm a teacher and there is some salient issue in an election. maybe a school bond measure or the like. i want to incite the students to protest and stuff. some of our school had a walkout because of the prop. 187 fiasco.
  • i think i'm different from most people, including my friends in that i'd rather stay at home and listen to music, watch a movie, or what not instead of going to a party. it's too bad, wish i had more fun at parties. maybe not. nevermind i guess i'm fine being who i am.
  • well today the world grieved over the loss of jesus. he was a good jesus while he was around. a moment of silence for a fallen warrior.
  • modernism dictates complete rationalism. what a crock. love isn't rational at all. being rational is very over-rated sometimes. according to people like hobbes everyone is a rational self-actor. so here's the world according to hobbes. joe walks down the street and stops jen to ask her for directions to the subway station. jen points north and says it's up that way, about two blocks past the post office (despite it being in the opposite direction). jen then says hey while you're going that way would you mind dropping this letter off at the post office. joe says sure no problem. sounds like jen is a bitch. at any rate joe walks towards the post office, but before he gets there he opens up the letter in the hope that there is some money inside. finding that there isn't he dumps the letter in the trash and continues towards the subway station.
  • looks like i'm doing fantasy basketball this year again. it's a good way to stay informed and it gives me something to do in my spare time.
  • work again for nicole at work - 2-4pm.
  • i wanted to get a good picture of my jesus and then superimpose him on a cross, but i don't have any pictures scanned and it probably wouldn't come out too well. it was an idea.
  • winamp finally came out with a new version. what losers.
  • jim morrison is pretty dope in my book.
  • thursdays are pretty sweet. they're long enough to feel like i've earned a rest. for whatever reason i never realize it until late in the day that thursday is the end of the week for me.
  • we talked about hyper-realism in class today. when people consider taco bell as being mexican food when really it's just a sad imitation...sounds simple enough, but it sadly carries over to other things for a lot of people. "the real world" on mtv isn't the real world, but people take it for face value a lot of the time. so what makes a real experience? seeing death and carnage on tv isn't the same as being there, everyone knows that. i think that gandhi says something about the study of life experiences and how that creates reality, not what you see on tv or what you think such and such is about. kind of like something doesn't really become real until you have experienced it. i believe in this to a large degree. that's why i went hitchhiking and why i want to do it again. it's also why i want to have some shitty jobs next year.
  • 11-02-00 (02:13)

  • was looking over some old updates. may sucked ass in a lot of ways.
  • here was a poll from the history channel website:
  • Which African American do you most admire?
  • Results:
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. 40.8
  • Muhammad Ali 9.5
  • Oprah Winfrey 8.2
  • Colin Powell 41.4
  • that is so amazingly sad. colin powell? i don't know much about him, but a) his job was to kill people efficiently and b) there is no way in fucking godfuckinghell that he's more admirable than MLK. fuck.
  • dumb people bother me.
  • oprah is a funny one. i honestly think that she does a lot of good things, esp. relative to her peers. at the same time she's quite commercial in her delivery...she seems to know exactly how to get the ratings and does what she needs to do to get em. i guess this would make her a model citizen - capitalist entrepreneur who is also a kind hearted philanthropist. still she does come up with some gag worthy material. ho hum, no real complaints.
  • i'm no longer bitter because i've decided no to be.
  • a tribe called quest are pretty great.
  • black sabbath are also great.
  • led zeppelin are the best
  • i have all the doors albums. just realized this today. kinda sad because that means they won't really move up too much in the ratings. though they're about as high as it gets.
  • meddle is the next pink floyd album i'm going to get.
  • "i can't pay no doctor bills, but whitey's on the moon"
  • dj shadow needs to come out with another album, he's epic.
  • god should take a large dump on this world with the way we treat each other.
  • real people are few and far between.
  • SACRAMENTO - The Green Party in California is, by far, the fastest growing

  • party in the state - and in Sacramento and Yolo counties - according to the
    latest figures released from the Secretary of State's office.

    Since the first of the year, Green Party members have increased a whopping
    41.2 percent in the state to about 140,000. In the past month alone, state
    Green registration jumped more than 14 percent

    In Sacramento County, Green Party registration as of Oct. 10 is at 5,046,
    13.7 percent more than registered on Sept. 10, and 40.2 percent higher than
    a year ago when just 3,598 Greens were registered.

    Yolo County voter registration figures reflect a 24 percent increase in
    Green Party members just since September - up from 1,398 to 1,736
    registered.

    By comparison, across the state, the Natural Law and Reform parties have
    shrinking state numbers - their totals are less than they were a year ago,
    and Democrat and Republication voter figures are stagnant with increases of
    just 2.8 percent and 4.7 percent, respectively, since the first of the year.

    The second fastest growing "affiliation" is Decline to State, up 17.9
    percent from Jan. 1, 2000, with 2.2 million voters.

  • oh yea. jesus was stolen today. so no more easy trips across town and the like.
  • there was a time when i would be our right now looking for some revenge. i was no better than them. i'm trying.
  • can't wait to break open the gandhi autobiography.
  • been thinking about this for a while, now i will act upon it...i'm going to start coming up with some ideas for classroom activities. writing congressmen, field trips, movies for extra credit, etc.
  • my last playboy came today. i think i'll not renew the subscription. the pictures are just a tease and the interviews aren't worth the money, though they are very good. the ben still one was good. john malkovich was another good one. oh, and bob costas. drew barrymore this month. oh yea, chyna didn't help their cause any.
  • i think i'm getting sports illustrated these days. free magazines are good.
  • i should get some sleep soon.
  • tupac, i love you.
  • oh, good news. i've finally found the lowest point in music history...the worst song, ever. apparently it was quite the rage back a while ago. it's called "summer girls" and it's by this 'band' LFO. you must hear it. there really isn't any competition for worst song ever, this is it. they, for good measure to really seal the deal, even rip off a beastie boys lyric and use it - twice. every piece of music i hear from this day forth will be that much better because i have heard this song.
  • in other music news...i was at work today and this older woman checked out a george winston cd, i told her that my mom used to always listen to him and that he's good. i think she was impressed to hear that a youngster such as myself knew who george winston was.
  • i guess this update is long enough to keep you busy. johnny said that it's been hard to keep up lately. maybe november will a big month.
  • i think it will.

  • 11-01-00 (17:16)

  • "By the age of 22, about 90 percent of every group has had sex" - the groups mentioned included men and women of different ethnicities ...so that means that 90 of all 22 year old Americans have gotten in the sack. that's pretty amazing in some ways, in others it's pretty much expected. sex is natural, but you have all those religious crazies, boring and dumb people, unattractive people, social rejects, and yet only 10 percent of the population goes to the age of 22 without sex.
  • saw a pretty gnarly bike crash today, it sucked. it was this one girl riding along all by herself...she hit a parked bike and went flying head first onto the pavement. these two guys went over there to help her up and just a couple seconds after that about 15 yards away there was a really loud pop, like an M-80 or something. it was very very strange. couldn't tell where the bang came from, maybe she was planning a drive by, but didn't quite get away. it was odd.
  • i always think i have work until 6pm on wednesdays. a nice relief to discover otherwise.
  • looks like my scheduling will work out okay. i'm going to have a class on friday though, kinda wack. at least it's only one class, but it's also at 10am, it has to be done. got a Dungey class lined up too, just for fun.
  • spring quarter i'll take 2 sociology classes a science class of some sort and possibly linguistics. by then i'll have full-fledged senioritis, i'm sure.
  • led zeppelin are good, on occasion.
  • going to dinner at jon's tonight, that's a 7pm. hopefully i have some time for a movie afterwards.
  • no rain today. reminds me of that blind melon song - no rain. wonder where i come up with these strange connections. completely illogical.
  • i wish tupac was still alive.
  • archives page updated.
  • maybe a trip to santa cruz in the future. turns out that it's not very expensive...maybe 25 bucks round trip. it takes a while, but my time doesn't mean that much anyway.
  • can't wait till thanksgiving break.

  • 11-01-00 (01:35)

  • there was a teaser on tv tonight about a feature on the news called "find out if you are underpaid." i'd say that if you're in the labor market you're underpaid, if you're a teacher you're underpaid, if you're an at home mother or father you're underpaid.
  • the latest info i've heard is that the top 1% of the wealthiest in the country own 60% of the total wealth. so if you're not in the top, say, 10% you're probably underpaid relative to them.
  • had some great discussion in Dungey's class today. that guy kicks ass in so many ways. he's going to be teaching Political Science 5 next quarter (problems in american government), this is great because i know he'll make it such an awesome class and because he was relegated to upper division courses only. apparently, though, the department needed someone pretty badly. the department seems to be a little scared by him because he throws chalk at students once in a while and cusses a lot.
  • today someone made a really good point about what we were discussing and Dungey, in a way only he can, stumbled over what to say "you're so ri...god, that's exactly...i mean, yes..." then he threw the chalk. it was great.
  • finished off CCR today. finishing up velvet underground. half way done with jimi. led zeppelin - still a long way to go. need to touch on some of that black sabbath and police tomorrow. i have less "classic rock" than i had thought.
  • it's november now. will transfer october updates in a couple days.
  • got to borrow 'meddle' - pink floyd album from marina's work. it really rocks. it's on the list, the long list, of cds to purchase.
  • october 22, 1969 - release date of led zeppelin II. in the past 31 years they're haven't been many albums that great, then again in the previous 31 years there weren't that many either, in rock that is.
  • haven't listened to the radio (other than KDVS) in a few months, at least.
  • i should sleep now.